Humorous and funny Farewell poems and/or funny poems about Farewell. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Farewell funny poems!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous,
Well I Declare
His wife said she’d got a new house pet
He'd not seen her smile like this in years
When she showed him she’d bought a ‘rabbit’
He'd expected one with floppy ears!
09~02~14
Contest: Well I declare!
Sponsor: Judy Konos
Written by
Seren Roberts
Categories:
funny,
Well I Declare
There was a young blonde from Stroud
Whose hair made her stand out in a crowd
Til my nail caught in a curl
I declare this ain't no girl
her trousers were standing out proud
Written by
Tom Cunningham
Categories:
humor, scary,
Well and Truly Spooked
We were four tough teens and one day at school we were dared
To spend a night in Hangman's Woods to prove we weren't scared,
We'd set up camp for the night then heard loud wailing and a moan
Sheer blind terror overcame us when we realised we weren't alone,
We ran as fast as our legs could carry us and we didn't look back
And made it to the woods entrance and there stood by an old shack,
Were our three so called school friends who'd set us up for the dare
They were laughing and pointing at us and all we could do was glare.
Written on the 25th October 2020
8 lines Of Spooky Rhyme Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Tania Kitchin.
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
friend, humorous, inspiration,
Well Endowed Inspired By Mike Gentile
Mike Gentile claims he's well endowed,
How lucky, no wonder he's proud
My poor neighbour Rodger -
he's got a small todger,
oops sorry I said that out loud!
Inspired by Mike Gentiles poem 'well endowed' www.poetrysoup.com/poem/well_endowed_1034039
Poem posted with kind permission of Mike
6/22/18
Written by
Wren Rushing
Categories:
humor,
All Is Well That Ends Well
Jack went up the hill to check his still,
but he drank too much and soon fell ill.
The Doc said it's too late,
all that shine sealed his fate.
One drop too much is enough to kill.
Poor Jill was sad til she read Jack's will,
he left a lot more than that old still.
Buried in mason jars,
more gold than all the stars.
To wed a drunk is worth a great deal.
2/28/21
Written by
Roy Jerden
Categories:
humorous,
The Well Traveled Linguist
A ventriloquist there was named Monique
Who could make all of her body parts speak
Her right hand did British
Her left handled Yiddish
Down below she liked French and took Greek
Written by
Barbara Gorelick
Categories:
funny,
Get Well Soon
I had a Head Nurse that was just born mean
The ugliest woman I'd ever seen
A voice like sharp ice
Never could be nice
She made old Nurse Ratchet seem like a queen
Written by
Robert Candler
Categories:
angst, desire, humorous, irony, life, lust
Oh Well
Bill stared at a cute butt going by.
Wishing he were much bolder, he sighed,
"I would give all my pay
To roll that in the hay."
But looked up to see 'she' was a guy.
Written by
Andrew Fairchild
Categories:
appreciation, humor, hyperbole, poetry, writing,
Sonnet 44 'Nobody Wants a Well, When There Is Sadness'
Nobody wants a well, when there is sadness...
A few drops are enough, to bring on rain!
The world is full, of sorrow, and of madness!
Nobody needs the bottom of the drain...
The purists count emPHASis and sylLABles!
They like to see beans laid out, in a row!
They have no patience with an one, who babbles!
Believe the Sun should not put on a show!
But... we need purists, for they keep us clean!
Demand a higher standard of the lazy!
They state: 'it's not enough to be serene!'
(And unneeded enjambment
Drives 'em crazy!)
But we can only meet their standards, if
The while we write, we're clinging to a cliff!
Written by
Janice Canerdy
Categories:
humor, poetry,
Well, Ye Asked Fer It
Roses is red; a dollar are green.
Dough wuz the grandest thang Bubba'd done seen.
He had a bad wreck and ruptured his spleen.
His surgery wuz in a room that tweren't clean!
He paid Doc with roses, and Doc got real mean.
So Bubba sent dough--biscuits in a can.
Doc planned to whup him, but Bubba he ran.
Then he sent greens--the kind cooked in a pan.
Doc wanted green MONEY. He wuz one angry man!
********************
The sponsor done asked for a hillbilly pome,
so I writ these purty lines here at my home
up in these hills from whur I seldom roam.
April 19, 2018
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
family, funny,
Well, I'M a Monkey's Uncle
Mr. Darwin claimed that we are descended from the apes!
In zoos you may see your kin in various species, sizes and shapes.
Verily, verily if this be true that we are related to the monkey,
Then, I reckon it could be said that 'I'm truly a monkey's unkie!'
Robert L. Hinshaw, CSMgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
fun,
My Giggle Gene Is Alive and Well
My soft side is showing, must fix that for sure
A jester by birth, so what the hell is the score
Could age be a factor
To be serious ever after
Not likely, my giggle gene will once again soar
© Jack Ellison 2015
Written by
Nigel Fawcett
Categories:
funny, health
Word Morph - Well To Sick
last night I really didn't feel quite WELL
I tried to shake it off with all my WILL
with window open, hands upon the SILL
I deeply breathed fresh air that felt like SILK
which did the trick for I'm no longer SICK
Written by
Andrew Crisci
Categories:
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, satire
A Well-Kept Secret
There's a quick remedy for those neglected smiles,
even your dentist won't tell you that...
it's still a well-kept secret;
grandma whispered it to mother,
and mother to daughter,
but not father to son? Isn't it hypocritical, boys?
All women must be kissed by impatient men,
and what's more attractive than
teeth whitened by inexpensive baking soda, guys?
It's time you made yours whiter than Paul's!
Written by
Martin Kloess
Categories:
friend, funny, humor, sexy,
She May Be - Well Read
Hey dude be polite close your jaw
I know women’s breasts bring us awe
Some cravings are strong
But this is plain wrong
For those two belong to my ma
Written by
Daver Austin
Categories:
funny
Really - Well Raleigh
REALLY? WELL RALEIGH!
There once was a man from Raleigh
Who liked to share food with his collie
On his knees one day,
while bent over the tray,
it bit off his nose by golly
...................................................
Not a true story
Written by
Adell Foster
Categories:
clothes, crazy, funny, humorous, imagery, nonsense
He Wears Them Well - Nay Say 2
I love the scent of those
Crisp white shirts
Long or short sleeved;
Watching those button-fly jeans,
The way they sway in the breeze…
Oh yes, admittedly he wears them well.
Is he your beloved?
No my dear it’s my clothes line!
Written by
Robert A. Dufresne
Categories:
adventure, funny
Ah, I Remember It Well....
T’was an upside down world,
When I was uncurled,
They counted my fingers ‘n toes
And sucked out my nose,
It was humiliating to say the least,
I looked like a ‘lil red squirmin’ beast.
Doctor hollered out “it’s a boy!”
Mama sighed “crap!” Daddy said “Joy!”
Pappy told Mama “it was money well spent”,
Till he saw.. that I was ..incontinent.
All the nurses smiling and I didn’t know why,
Till three days later they said good by.
I was a handsome young fellow though a little short,
And I sure am glad Mama didn’t abort.
Ole Doc Perry wished us all good luck,
And Daddy brought me home in the pickup truck.
Ah yes...I remember it well...
Written by
Mike Martin
Categories:
allusion, analogy, humor, humorous,
Drinking Well
My stomach is on my mind
Won't you get that griddle cooking
My mind is on my heart
Couldn't get no better looking
My memories all ran dry
Went down to the drinking well
Fill me up my loving cup
Surely wasn't thinking well
My tractor lost a wheel
The hoe can't even pull her out
My cat came back without her
The dog can't even figure it out
Written by
Terry Flood
Categories:
humorous, identity,
Well, He Said He Was
So Eric the Viking was not to my liking
I met him one morning when I was out hiking
It’s worthy of note
He owned not one boat
And wore a horned hat when he went mountain biking
Written by
Janice Canerdy
Categories:
humor,
Well, Blow Me Down
A sailor who loved costume parties
would shout out a wild, “Aye, me hearties!”
This old buccaneer,
role playing with cheer,
got mimicked by all the young smarties.
April 14, 2019
entered in Tania Kitchin's Pirate Themed Poetry Contest Placed third
Written by
Donna Roberts
Categories:
family, humor, inspiration,
Get Well Wishes
I looked for a silver lining
Surely its not hospital dining
Then I thought since your the best
Perhaps you just need a short rest
Hello my dear old Aunt
Now I don't want to rant
But I heard your on the mend
So I just wanted to send
Tender Get Well Chants
wrapped
In healing grace grants
Soon you'll be up and at 'em
Three cheers to you, Madam
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
giggle,
All's Well That Ends Well
I'm happy as poop, got the results of my brain scan
They had a hard time finding it when the scanner began
It sputtered and screeched
Till my bum it did reach
It's outta place but 'twas an “all's well that ENDs well” exam
Written by
Muhammad Safa Thajudeen
Categories:
creation, humorous, language, lost,
Towel To Well
I take my bath
To well,
I go to well
Before twelve,
I take
My towel
Keep on the well,
Sat once,an owl
On my towel
Fell inside the well
My bath towel
I traced inside the well
The lost towel
Oh,here it's my towel
Well,
I found my towel
But loosing the last l
"To well"
Now just towel !
Written by
Charles Henderson
Categories:
funny
Well Excuse Me
“Honey, did you lock the garage door?”
I really didn’t know how to answer.
But a “wise” husband never lets one like this go.
“Well, technically, the latch is thrown
so the knob will not turn,
but the door is standing wide open”.
Her reply:
“Well, technically, one with one’s
head up that narrow passage,
means the same as an ostrich
burrowing its head in the sand.
But untechnically, I don’t think
the ostrich would agree.”
~//~
Nov. 08 2010 Charles Henderson 3 rd
in Thvia's Shetley's "analogy" contest