Humorous and funny Farewell poems and/or funny poems about Farewell. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Farewell funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Farewell Poems.
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous,
His wife said she’d got a new house pet
He'd not seen her smile like this in years
When she showed him she’d bought a ‘rabbit’
He'd expected one with floppy ears!
09~02~14
Contest: Well I declare!
Sponsor: Judy Konos
Poem Details | by
Seren Roberts |
Categories:
funny,
There was a young blonde from Stroud
Whose hair made her stand out in a crowd
Til my nail caught in a curl
I declare this ain't no girl
her trousers were standing out proud
Poem Details | by
Tom Cunningham |
Categories:
humor, scary,
We were four tough teens and one day at school we were dared
To spend a night in Hangman's Woods to prove we weren't scared,
We'd set up camp for the night then heard loud wailing and a moan
Sheer blind terror overcame us when we realised we weren't alone,
We ran as fast as our legs could carry us and we didn't look back
And made it to the woods entrance and there stood by an old shack,
Were our three so called school friends who'd set us up for the dare
They were laughing and pointing at us and all we could do was glare.
Written on the 25th October 2020
8 lines Of Spooky Rhyme Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Tania Kitchin.
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
friend, humorous, inspiration,
Mike Gentile claims he's well endowed,
How lucky, no wonder he's proud
My poor neighbour Rodger -
he's got a small todger,
oops sorry I said that out loud!
Inspired by Mike Gentiles poem 'well endowed' www.poetrysoup.com/poem/well_endowed_1034039
Poem posted with kind permission of Mike
6/22/18
Poem Details | by
Wren Rushing |
Categories:
humor,
Jack went up the hill to check his still,
but he drank too much and soon fell ill.
The Doc said it's too late,
all that shine sealed his fate.
One drop too much is enough to kill.
Poor Jill was sad til she read Jack's will,
he left a lot more than that old still.
Buried in mason jars,
more gold than all the stars.
To wed a drunk is worth a great deal.
2/28/21
Poem Details | by
Roy Jerden |
Categories:
humorous,
A ventriloquist there was named Monique
Who could make all of her body parts speak
Her right hand did British
Her left handled Yiddish
Down below she liked French and took Greek
Poem Details | by
Barbara Gorelick |
Categories:
funny,
I had a Head Nurse that was just born mean
The ugliest woman I'd ever seen
A voice like sharp ice
Never could be nice
She made old Nurse Ratchet seem like a queen
Poem Details | by
Robert Candler |
Categories:
angst, desire, humorous, irony, life, lust, sorrow,
Bill stared at a cute butt going by.
Wishing he were much bolder, he sighed,
"I would give all my pay
To roll that in the hay."
But looked up to see 'she' was a guy.
Poem Details | by
Janice Canerdy |
Categories:
humor, poetry,
Roses is red; a dollar are green.
Dough wuz the grandest thang Bubba'd done seen.
He had a bad wreck and ruptured his spleen.
His surgery wuz in a room that tweren't clean!
He paid Doc with roses, and Doc got real mean.
So Bubba sent dough--biscuits in a can.
Doc planned to whup him, but Bubba he ran.
Then he sent greens--the kind cooked in a pan.
Doc wanted green MONEY. He wuz one angry man!
********************
The sponsor done asked for a hillbilly pome,
so I writ these purty lines here at my home
up in these hills from whur I seldom roam.
April 19, 2018
Poem Details | by
Andrew Fairchild |
Categories:
appreciation, humor, hyperbole, poetry, writing,
Nobody wants a well, when there is sadness...
A few drops are enough, to bring on rain!
The world is full, of sorrow, and of madness!
Nobody needs the bottom of the drain...
The purists count emPHASis and sylLABles!
They like to see beans laid out, in a row!
They have no patience with an one, who babbles!
Believe the Sun should not put on a show!
But... we need purists, for they keep us clean!
Demand a higher standard of the lazy!
They state: 'it's not enough to be serene!'
(And unneeded enjambment
Drives 'em crazy!)
But we can only meet their standards, if
The while we write, we're clinging to a cliff!
Poem Details | by
Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories:
family, funny,
Mr. Darwin claimed that we are descended from the apes!
In zoos you may see your kin in various species, sizes and shapes.
Verily, verily if this be true that we are related to the monkey,
Then, I reckon it could be said that 'I'm truly a monkey's unkie!'
Robert L. Hinshaw, CSMgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
fun,
My soft side is showing, must fix that for sure
A jester by birth, so what the hell is the score
Could age be a factor
To be serious ever after
Not likely, my giggle gene will once again soar
© Jack Ellison 2015
Poem Details | by
Nigel Fawcett |
Categories:
funny, health
last night I really didn't feel quite WELL
I tried to shake it off with all my WILL
with window open, hands upon the SILL
I deeply breathed fresh air that felt like SILK
which did the trick for I'm no longer SICK
Poem Details | by
Andrew Crisci |
Categories:
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, satire
There's a quick remedy for those neglected smiles,
even your dentist won't tell you that...
it's still a well-kept secret;
grandma whispered it to mother,
and mother to daughter,
but not father to son? Isn't it hypocritical, boys?
All women must be kissed by impatient men,
and what's more attractive than
teeth whitened by inexpensive baking soda, guys?
It's time you made yours whiter than Paul's!
Poem Details | by
Martin Kloess |
Categories:
friend, funny, humor, sexy,
Hey dude be polite close your jaw
I know women’s breasts bring us awe
Some cravings are strong
But this is plain wrong
For those two belong to my ma
Poem Details | by
Daver Austin |
Categories:
funny
REALLY? WELL RALEIGH!
There once was a man from Raleigh
Who liked to share food with his collie
On his knees one day,
while bent over the tray,
it bit off his nose by golly
...................................................
Not a true story
Poem Details | by
Robert A. Dufresne |
Categories:
adventure, funny
T’was an upside down world,
When I was uncurled,
They counted my fingers ‘n toes
And sucked out my nose,
It was humiliating to say the least,
I looked like a ‘lil red squirmin’ beast.
Doctor hollered out “it’s a boy!”
Mama sighed “crap!” Daddy said “Joy!”
Pappy told Mama “it was money well spent”,
Till he saw.. that I was ..incontinent.
All the nurses smiling and I didn’t know why,
Till three days later they said good by.
I was a handsome young fellow though a little short,
And I sure am glad Mama didn’t abort.
Ole Doc Perry wished us all good luck,
And Daddy brought me home in the pickup truck.
Ah yes...I remember it well...
Poem Details | by
Adell Foster |
Categories:
clothes, crazy, funny, humorous, imagery, nonsense, word play,
I love the scent of those
Crisp white shirts
Long or short sleeved;
Watching those button-fly jeans,
The way they sway in the breeze…
Oh yes, admittedly he wears them well.
Is he your beloved?
No my dear it’s my clothes line!
Poem Details | by
Janice Canerdy |
Categories:
humor,
A sailor who loved costume parties
would shout out a wild, “Aye, me hearties!”
This old buccaneer,
role playing with cheer,
got mimicked by all the young smarties.
April 14, 2019
entered in Tania Kitchin's Pirate Themed Poetry Contest Placed third
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
giggle,
I'm happy as poop, got the results of my brain scan
They had a hard time finding it when the scanner began
It sputtered and screeched
Till my bum it did reach
It's outta place but 'twas an “all's well that ENDs well” exam
Poem Details | by
Mike Martin |
Categories:
allusion, analogy, humor, humorous,
My stomach is on my mind
Won't you get that griddle cooking
My mind is on my heart
Couldn't get no better looking
My memories all ran dry
Went down to the drinking well
Fill me up my loving cup
Surely wasn't thinking well
My tractor lost a wheel
The hoe can't even pull her out
My cat came back without her
The dog can't even figure it out
Poem Details | by
Muhammad Safa Thajudeen |
Categories:
creation, humorous, language, lost,
I take my bath
To well,
I go to well
Before twelve,
I take
My towel
Keep on the well,
Sat once,an owl
On my towel
Fell inside the well
My bath towel
I traced inside the well
The lost towel
Oh,here it's my towel
Well,
I found my towel
But loosing the last l
"To well"
Now just towel !
Poem Details | by
Donna Roberts |
Categories:
family, humor, inspiration,
I looked for a silver lining
Surely its not hospital dining
Then I thought since your the best
Perhaps you just need a short rest
Hello my dear old Aunt
Now I don't want to rant
But I heard your on the mend
So I just wanted to send
Tender Get Well Chants
wrapped
In healing grace grants
Soon you'll be up and at 'em
Three cheers to you, Madam
Poem Details | by
Charles Henderson |
Categories:
funny
“Honey, did you lock the garage door?”
I really didn’t know how to answer.
But a “wise” husband never lets one like this go.
“Well, technically, the latch is thrown
so the knob will not turn,
but the door is standing wide open”.
Her reply:
“Well, technically, one with one’s
head up that narrow passage,
means the same as an ostrich
burrowing its head in the sand.
But untechnically, I don’t think
the ostrich would agree.”
~//~
Nov. 08 2010 Charles Henderson 3 rd
in Thvia's Shetley's "analogy" contest
Poem Details | by
Terry Flood |
Categories:
humorous, identity,
So Eric the Viking was not to my liking
I met him one morning when I was out hiking
It’s worthy of note
He owned not one boat
And wore a horned hat when he went mountain biking