These are funny poems written by international poets. Funny poems are added daily and hundreds of new funny poems are added weekly for your reading pleasure.
Poem Details | by
Kitchin, Tania |
Categories:
funny, humor,
Jill was out on a leisurely stroll
When she suddenly needed to go
Her thighs she tightly squeezed
And headed for the trees
But tripped and fell, pants now wet, oh no!
Roy went for his early morning run
Soon his too full bladder pain begun
There were no nearby trees
Only surf with a breeze
Then dove into the waves until done
Max liked to eat spicy Mexican food
But his raw stomach was not in the mood
Now doubled over with gas
He let a loud fart to pass
Now stuck in the booth with pants soiled and glued
Poem Details | by
Rodrigues, Kim |
Categories:
humor,
“That’s all I can stands, ‘cause I can’t stands no more.”
—Popeye, Popeye the Sailor animated series
One episode, “The Fistic Mystic,”
takes place in Badgag, a parody of Bagdad.
Mountebank
Olive Oil,
a snake charmer.
Bluto
wraps around her.
He is a shyster -
a bully
with tricks.
One pop eye
on him -
the sailor
misdirects.
Mischief in Badgag -
a mountebank devil,
picked
the wrong g-oil.
Poem Details | by
Ward, Daisy |
Categories:
humor,
On a banana peeling he slipped
That caused him to have a large dipped
On the side of his leg
So, he had to beg
But it seemed like a movie scripted
Poem Details | by
Ward, Daisy |
Categories:
humorous,
For last glance
The family lined up to say
Their good-byes and that's
When a blind man
Comes to close
He falls and knocks
Over the casket
The dead man rolls out
Onto the floor, then opens
Up his eyes and
Then tells the blind man
To watch where the hell
He’s WALKING!
Poem Details | by
Ward, Daisy |
Categories:
fun, humor,
His expensive watches were fakes
That he passed off on his dates
Got busted by one
Who realized what he’d done
He tried to sucker the wrong mate
Poem Details | by
Ward, Daisy |
Categories:
dog, humor,
The dogs were line up to pee
On what was a special oak tree
Frigid, but waited in line
All thoughts had crossed their mind
Peeing on the tree made them feel glee
Poem Details | by
Crandall, David |
Categories:
humor,
Perry's Disinclination for Mushrooms
A mushroom is not something new
Inside some pasta or a stew.
But, when it comes to feeding Perry,
A mushroom is extraordinary!
John's Surgery
An eyeball must be a perfect sphere.
If an imperfection should appear,
A handy doctor, not ham-handed,
Will use his head and have it sanded.
Poem Details | by
Aller, Jake |
Categories:
environment, god, religion,
April 17—Prove something
God’s Demented Sense of Humor
I sometimes think
That God if he/she/it exists
And created the Universe
Must have a demented
Sense of humor.
For how else you can explain
Why he created a parasite
That hides in your system
Totally inert but if you take
Steroids for any reason.
Blows up like a basketball
Bursting out and killing you,
In thirty minutes.
Leaving the doctors
Wondering WTF
Just happened.
Recording your death
As a medical mystery.
As very few doctors
Have ever encountered
Or heard about
This weird parasite.
Poem Details | by
Crandall, David |
Categories:
animal, humor,
The platypus excels at evolution
And displays a super cool solution
For making his way amidst the muck,
He don't run aground. He don't get stuck.
Of this, the platypus would never dream
As a self-respecting monotreme.
Indeed, a platypus of station
Will employ electrolocation.
Poem Details | by
Crandall, David |
Categories:
bird, humor,
Birdwatchers try to name us,
Wishing they could be us;
But you cannot blame us,
If, despite who sees us,
Whatever fate befalls us,
We don’t care what they calls us.
Poem Details | by
Poet, Hilo |
Categories:
analogy, appreciation, character, giggle, imagery, lost, perspective,
trip yourself my way
no siesta at borders
cross right for a swim
until you're breathless and lost
to my words~first to my place
Poem Details | by
Pookie, Huzaif |
Categories:
art, butterfly, care, feelings, funny love, innocence,
Dancing in my heart,some friendship it seems
a solace butterfly , fluttering it seems
a moon with many faces,all bright it seems
for love is freedom,all pure it seems
To the melody of my heart,
all lubb dubb it seems.
In the melody of one's flute,
there's you too,it seems.
Poem Details | by
Lane, Lin |
Categories:
dog, humor,
"Make it quick" they barked. "We all have to pee."
The **** legged one woofed right back, "Don't rush me!"
Female dogs may have fleas
But they don't wee on trees
Trans surgery gets rid of that weenie!
*Not entered in the contest but I couldn't
stop myself from writing a limerick for that photo.
Poem Details | by
Sinha-Roy, Subimal |
Categories:
funny,
In restive response to the nature’s call,
in the disciplined dog-line they all fall.
Not far is the place to pee,
tree never seems to be free.
Leakage curbed canine bladders learn to stall.
Poem Details | by
James, Emilia |
Categories:
dog, humor,
Fruits of our labour is in this tree
This one we all use to poop and pee
They ripen with time
Grow and taste devine
Poo-pee plums, humans scrump for their tea.
Poem Details | by
Wolf, Gershon |
Categories:
dog, humor,
Next to a tree where four lines could be
Canines haven’t even thought of three
You think they'll form two
That they'd never do
‘One and dumb’ ~ the only line we'll see
~ Entry for 'Picture Prompt Photo Contest ~
Sponsor: Margarita Lillico
May 03, 2024
Poem Details | by
Krutsinger, Caren |
Categories:
humorous,
Wish she would show me some leg an eighty-year old guy said.
Three of his cousins turned around and flashed old Ed.
He laughed so hard, his teeth flew out of his brittle mouth.
That was hilarious! Said his date, who had come from the south.
They are my cousins; they really got me that time I guess.
Another old greaser said “do I have any chance with Tess?”
Tess gave him a big smile, and shook her head yes.
“I think that’s your answer,” said old guy’s date, Bess.
Poem Details | by
Gorelick, Robert |
Categories:
dog, humor,
At the canine yap concert, Three Dog Bite
There's not one dog port-o-potty in site
so long lines form at a tree
for each mutt and pedigree
It proved quite a long dis-concerting night
Poem Details | by
Crandall, David |
Categories:
humor, insect,
This poet has most incorrectly checked
The little box which indicates "insect."
This poem, I therefore flatly reject.
I sharply reproach the writer.
A spider, never an insect, was.
I say this insistently because,
He should say "sorry." Until he does,
I remain a concerned spider.
Poem Details | by
Crandall, David |
Categories:
humor, insect,
The spider, a wicked web, does weave,
But he doesn’t do this to deceive.
He just wants a pleasant place to walk
After putting on ev’ry shoe and sock.
Poem Details | by
Crandall, David |
Categories:
humor, insect,
Oh, what a lovely web we dost weave
When first we practice to deceive.
What, on our next try, we conceive
Is too much B.S. to believe.
Poem Details | by
Wolf, Gershon |
Categories:
fantasy, humor, science,
Axioms, theorems, rules of thumb
hypotheses, conundrums
Pursuers of knowledge, those Brothers Grimm ~
Hansel and Gretel’s trail of crumbs
Poem Details | by
Anaya, I Am |
Categories:
humor,
Before Duke shakes a leg, he sniffs around
Some doggies chase squirrels like Harry the hound
Sparky crying mutt
Says he’ll bust his gut
Begs for more pee-trees in the park playground
Poem Details | by
Booher, Deloris |
Categories:
age, crazy, funny, health, judgement, nonsense,
Loretta Devil
Loretta Devil
She thinks she's queen of the hill
When she's hitting that herb at will
The smack of her lips, the glaze in her stare
All the people beware
She's like a star with no skill
Watch out for Loretta Devil
At first you think she's deranged
But then you smell that skunk on the range
And realize her eyes are so red
Nothing makes since in the things that she said
She thinks her singing is surreal
But it's nothing but shrill
She's having the time of her life
Dancing with her pink pinguins all high
She was a wholesome lady
Until she got on that green lady
Poor Loretta
Loretta Devil
Poem Details | by
Wheeler, Jessica |
Categories:
boy, dog, funny, girl, pets, silly,
Get in line man, there's no need to bark.
Have some patience, you'll soon make your mark.
You think this is bad, Spot?
Just be glad you don't squat.
'Cause that ladies' tree line's out the park!
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