Humorous and funny Water poems and/or funny poems about Water. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Water funny poems!
Written by
A.O. Taner
Categories:
august, beach, beautiful, cool, crush, deep, destiny, devotion, fantasy, feelings, first love, fishing, freedom, funny love, future, girlfriend, hope, i love you, i miss you, journey, joy, judgement, lost love, love, love hurts, meaningful, miracle, ocean, people, places, romance, sea, sensual, simple, spiritual, water, women, world,
Hope
Don't rush to wash off the sea salt
drying on your skin;
the hopes it carries from other oceans,
those remain yet to be seen.
Written by
Tim Ryerson
Categories:
funny,
Black-Water Blues
Diz Cajonne dey call Thibodaux
Paddle dis girl in his Pirogue
Den he see dem unmention
Dad tool stan at attention
She slap him stick HARD doncha' know
Dad pole shrink awful fas he yell whoa!
Sha, whad did you swat dad ting fo?
Now it at parade rest
Like diz bird in a nest
She-say-"I-scared-a'-dem-SNAKE-buddy-ohh!"
PD's contest
Written by
John Beharry
Categories:
bird, color, humor, red, sky, water,
Bird Poop In My Eye
Looking up into the sky
a bird pooped in my eye
as it was flying overhead
causing me to see red
It was warm and soggy
making me feel queasy
I scurried into the house
like an upset little mouse
I headed for the kitchen sink
and got there in a blink
Using the faucet spout
I tried to flush it out
When it was expelled
it had a funny smell
and the sink water
had a dirty colour
So when a bird is flying overhead
keep your head down instead
Do not look up into the sky
or you may get poop in your eye
Written by
Samuel Lee
Categories:
abuse, addiction, allegory, death, funny, metaphor, water,
To You, Crocodile
The river dragon of crimson streams
Swiftly swimming to bring my end
As I’m standing alone at the silent shore
The beast from this murk suddenly ascends.
Gripping my face in her flawless jaws
The teeth latched efficiently into flesh
Pulling me quickly into the depths
Dragging me into the shallow grave.
Surrounded in filth, drowning in the banks
The apex predator’s grip never relenting
All I can do is break, bleed and decompose
Hoping for some relief in the pending death.
I find some comfort in this prolonged pain,
Because I haven’t felt a thing in ages.
Written by
Lim'Rik Flats
Categories:
humor, water,
Confessions of a Double Barreled Drama Queen
(just kidding, maybe should be titled: H to O)
career plan
He wants to be a pool boy
sitting round the pond
with a leather-tan employer
wearing nothing but her blonde.
when too little is not enough
He wanted to be a pool boy
so he wore a string.
She fired him ‘cause it covered
just one tiny thing.
Written by
Paula Goldsmith
Categories:
fun, giggle, travel, uplifting, water, world, youth,
Santa Got Stranded in Florida - POTD
Santa and reindeer's were very tired,
they had one more area left to do.
This last place was very big,
it's name was Florida.
They must come in over land,
hitting the water they will make a huge splash.
Rudolph must see the tall lighthouse,
a bright light lighting their way.
It was a hard landing on the sand,
the sled broke.
Sunny Florida with warm temperatures,
a great place for Santa to be stranded.
Written by
James Fraser
Categories:
beauty, dream, emotions, funny, growth, nature, water,
Bill's Cucumbers
There once was a Nun who knew Bill
For his cucumbers gave her a thrill
Off to sleep she went, dreamt
Her thoughts heavenly sent
All sweating she woke up with a shrill
Now embarrassed she's off to confess
That a cucumbers left her distressed
To the Father she cries
Would they be Bill's he replied
I've dreamt, now let us totally repent
< came to me after reading Jan Allison's 'Limerick' about Bill's Cucumbers >
Written by
Pat Adams
Categories:
bird, humor, nature, water,
The Waddling Vagrants
The Wellington Harbor vagrants that waddled
Removed from the sushi stand where they coddled
Were heard to say,
"That is okay,"
"For it badly needs to be remodeled"
New Zealand Police Detain Penguins
New Zealand Police on Monday arrested a pair of penguins as they were caught loitering outside a sushi outlet. The birds, described as "waddling vagrants" were held near a Wellington train station as they made their way to a nearby Sushi Bi.
Written by
Skat A
Categories:
abuse, animal, bullying, death, funny, humor, imagination, water,
Bunny
-Bunny Hole- by:SKAT
hidden muddy home
dirty paws, good boy' good boy!
yummy with carrots :)
----------------------------
-Unwanted Fluffiness- by:PD
Big Brown Burlap Bag
drop Bunnies down By the Bay
Better off -Blue grave
~SKAT & PD~
Written by
Laura Breidenthal
Categories:
beautiful, child, childhood, children, emotions, family, feelings, kids, giggle, growing up,
Water Balloons
stretching it
balloon breaks on faucet
spray giggles
5-14-13
Written by
Nigel Fox
Categories:
humor, malayalam, science, yellow,
Have You Ever Seen a Commie Drink a Glass of Water
Vodka
That is what they drink
never water
on no account will a Commie ever drink water
and not without good reason
water that's what I'm getting at
water is the source of all life
seven tenths of this Earth's surface is water
why do you realize that 70 percent of you is water
as human beings you and I
need fresh pure water to replenish our precious bodily fluids.
are you beginning to understand
That’s why I drink only distilled water
rainwater
or pure-grain alcohol
Have you ever heard of a thing called fluoridation
do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived
the most and dangerous Communist plot we have ever had to face
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
humorous, metaphor, mothers day, success, water,
I Am a Genius
I am who I was born to be
Another voice of sanity
Maybe crazy, but do you know?
Art nouveau, in words I paint
Greatness of the pen, this is me
Eternal thoughts into ink I write
Nothing escapes this brilliant mind
I compose for those who see, and those whom are blind
Universal wisdom's, happiness in verse
Salvation or wine, the poison is free
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
adventure, funny, satire,
The Under Water Solution
When the money is mostly spent
Find the lowest terms for the rent
A car on a train
Protects well from the rain
But better yet let's get a tent
Written by
Tim Ryerson
Categories:
funny,
I Prefer a Little Water With My Tea
Head straight to the coffee pot after I pee
What happened this morning? Good god mercy me
Empty Folgers can
Was I pissed? Yes ma’am
(Four extra-large bags make a fine cup ‘o tea)
Written by
Wilma Neels
Categories:
funny
'hot Water Bottle'
hot water bottle
just a temporary cure
until his return
29/05/2011... 22:00
*wishful thinking on my part*
lol
Written by
Cecil Hickman
Categories:
adventure, funny, imagination, places, spacewater, water,
Spaceship (Acrostic With Rhyme)
Spend your hard-earned cash on fuel for takeoff.
Pray that the government does not find out until gone.
Allow your free time for checking weather, not golf.
Case the local food store for dry goods you can con.
Evaluate your water supply needs, no water in cosmos.
Secure a safe place for waste, body waste floats to easy.
Have welding knowledge, so your stored rocket is close.
Internet may bring suspicion making government queasy.
Plan to go up straight in the air, horizontal rockets scare.
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
animal, funny, hilarious, natural disasters, rude, silly, water,
The Never Song
Never stand behind a hippo!
Never stand behind a hippo!
Never stand behind a hippo!
Projectile diarrhea!
Written by
Mark Toney
Categories:
business, happy, humorous, poetry, water, word play,
Chasing Unicorns
Unicorn float stuck
Unicorn startups' luck
Written by
Thomas Martin
Categories:
animal, hilarious, water,
Crazy Joe
Crazy joe had an elephant,
who he rode with some elegance,
until he wound up in his trunk
and into the drink was dunked
and cursed it's smiling arrogance
Written by
Maurice Lamony
Categories:
allusion, hilarious, humor, imagery, nature, poetry, winter,
I Walked On Water
It was a Sunday
The reverend preached about faith
He spoke of Jesus walking on water
And peter failing to
Cause he had no faith
Now to cut it short,
I have so much faith it makes me blush
So on my way from church
I went down the river and replicated my lord
I said a silent prayer and sent a foot forward
Step by step, breath by breath
I walked across the river
But even in shoes, I felt the cold of the water
For it was winter and river was frozen
Stone hard, ice cold
But still, I walked on water.
Written by
Greg Gaul
Categories:
flying, golf, humor, life, light, lost, water,
Ball Hawking
I roam the edge of the roughs, ponds 'n streams
For illusive precious golf spheres per chance
Long looks through silt sifting for glints it seems
That make themselves appear to start the dance
Bits of dimpled light that want once again
Away from their sunken settled dark place
To take full flight across the verdant glen
And put a simple smile on one's bright face
For when you find a lost ball, dearest friend
They share great joys and awful torrid tears
What begins anew from someone else's end
Those round companions can go on for years
So live 'n walk ever searching to gawk
The vagary life of the true Ball Hawk
Colored pencil illustration G. Gaul 2023
Written by
Christina Hons
Categories:
fun, hope, humor, light, river, water, weather,
What I Accomplished Today
What I had planned for the day is no longer an option for me.
20 minutes on a full body vibration machine
30 minutes in a sauna. Same for the oxygen bar.
A free lunch with my friend, but I cannot get to my car.
It has been pouring down rain for a few days. Everything is starting to flood.
Today I will be unable to meet my friend with a microscope who's fascinated by blood.
Turned on the television. Someone discussing Greek and Roman Parthenons.
Oh goody! What joy! It's an Ancient Aliens marathon.
Flipped open my journal looking for something to do.
Guess I'll enter a poetry contest or two.
May 15, 2015
Written by
Paul Schneiter
Categories:
humor, water,
Cleaned Out
Robb Wilkins took three showers a day
he overdid some things he'd say.
But alas to his strain
less of him did remain
until he showered himself away.
Written by
Sara Kendrick
Categories:
funny, health, imagination, inspirational,
Flowing Creek Water
Since the rain graced our little creek,
Running whooshing liquid fills crevices
Of rocks, pebbles then babbles squeak.
Racing surging constantly balances
Cadences of rhythm causes gurlging.
The poetic quality calms relaxes.
Lapping kisses caress stones~no pounding.
Calming tranquil scene heart rhythm fixes.
Ameliorate health; opens wide heart
To nature_ and wonder of soothing
Sounds~creek's gushing words of art
Relaxing mind__accommodating
Written by
John Lawless
Categories:
deep, humor, water,
Water Loo - Nfc
WATER LOO
Water water everywhere*
and oh how it did stink
water water everywhere
and all my undies pink
alone amid the rising tide
of baby toys and diapers
I stand in brownish bubbling surf
wondering which is riper
my mutinous crew has left the ship
fleeing from the putrid stench
I’ve also been abandoned by
my “ever-faithful” wench.
Alas as Captain I must endure
consequences of this blunder
hold my nose as I await
my rescue by - the plumber.
John G. Lawless
3/30/2016
My apologies to Samuel Taylor Coleridge for stealing this line from his poem
“The Rime of the Ancient Mariner”