Humorous and funny Violence poems and/or funny poems about Violence. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Violence funny poems!
Written by
Poet Destroyer A
Categories:
adventure, anti bullying, boat, humor, slavery, violence, voyage,
Pirate Bay
```Pirate Bay the Haiku```
pirates fierce and mean
drowning fish, sea to sea
parrots on their butt
```Polly Wants A Cracker```
bloodthirst & brutal
Quartermaster Gone Wild
dirty wings on deck
```Sea World Adventure```
ship crew goes on strike
sailing the Caribbean
wooden leg splashing
~*~
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
animal, children, humorous, nature, nursery rhyme, pets, violence,
Monkeys
You shouldn't poke at monkeys
unless you're a dummkopf
Who gets precisely what's deserved --
your fingers bitten off.
Written by
Dorian Petersen Potter
Categories:
confusion, film, funny, humor, humorous, irony, violence,
Batman and Robin
(Limerick)
Batman and Robin hit the Joker
But their blow was only a croaker
The Joker hit back
But instead hit Jack
Who said "I'm glad, the Joker's an smoker!
Dorian Petersen Potter
Aka ladydp2000
Copyright@2014
09.16.2014
Written by
Volodymyr Knyr
Categories:
food, fruit, humorous, people, spoken word, violence, words,
A Peach and a Speech
The bigger/the richer/the faster the peach,
the better the chance to catch up someone's speech.
Volodymyr Knyr
2014
Written by
Lisa Costigan
Categories:
drink, funny love, humorous, violence,
Your Having a Giraffe
Just a normal Sunday sitting on my chair
When all of sudden in walked my auntie uncle Claire
What the hell you doing barging in like that??
He said your not going fu**ing believe it? I just ran over your Cat
I said the only pussy in this house is my other half,
We played a few drinking games and i beat him at charades
He soon ad enough of that tho so i pulled out deck cards then he stared moaning reckon the games i play are hard.
Well i had enough of his lip i couldn't take no more
so rubbed his face on cheese grater and now hes bloody sore.
Written by
Anthony Beck
Categories:
anger, angst, giggle, music, violence,
Game of Starbucks
I am standing
In a line scene
Cuz my body
Needs its caffeine
And in front of me some dink
Orders a confusing drink
Now he’s changing ‘round his order
With our patients growing shorter
And a sword from
Someone’s pocket
Now sticks through the
Guy’s eye socket
Du du du du
Du du du du
Du du du-du du-du du-du...
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
death, funny, humor, life, murder, repetition, violence,
Dead Yet
Am I dead yet?
No.
Am I dead yet?
No.
Am I dead yet?
BASH GUNCH CRUSH!
Yes gawdam it.
Written by
Gail Foster
Categories:
animal, emotions, humor, philosophy, truth, violence, wisdom,
The Mystic Aardvark
Alan the mystic
Aardvark
Rejected wrath and
Drama
Violence and ire
Alan said
Result in endless
Karma
by Gail
Written by
Randy Johnson
Categories:
funny, humor, husband, violence, wife,
My Wife's Car Is In the Lake
I forgot to set the parking brake.
So now my wife's car is in the lake.
You're looking at a man who can never catch a break.
My wife kicked my *** just because I made a mistake.
She broke my left leg and I'm having to use a crutch.
I don't blame her for being mad but coming at me with a chainsaw is a bit too much.
(This is a fictional poem)
Written by
Kevin Shaw
Categories:
funny, nonsense, silly, snow, violence, winter,
In the Snow
In the Snow
As I was walking in the Snow,
I met a friend I didn't know.
You know me, I'm the one,
Stole your wife in Eighty One.
I smiled, then buried him in the snow
Written by
Gerald Dillenbeck
Categories:
destiny, earth, health, humanity, humor, power, violence,
Persuasive Powers
I remain both surprised and alarmed
when revolutionary entrepreneurs,
AltRight survivalists,
poor and terrified AfricanAmerican and Hispanic young adult U.S. males,
and females,
and the National Rifle Association
vociferously agree with Chairman Mao
"Power is found at the end of a gun."
While alarmed
because violence breeds further mindless violence,
I continue to be surprised
because even a child could notice
Power originates from Earth's revolving
and enlightening
relationship to the Sun.
All other points of origin
are secondary,
derivative,
and perhaps not to be made too anthro-centrically much of.
Written by
Vernon Witmer
Categories:
anti bullying, bullying, confidence, humor, people, recovery from, violence,
Knee Replacement
you said I was a wuss;
you said I couldn’t take it.
You said I’d make a fuss;
you said I wouldn’t make it.
what you said did not make sense;
you didn’t think I had the guts;
now you’ll feel the difference;
with my new knee in your nuts.
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
animal, humor, insect, murder, nursery rhyme, violence, word play,
Kill a Man, Jaro
Jaro was a killer
He bonked me on the head
He laughed and laughed
"You're dead, you're dead!"
Is what the killer Jaro said.
But I jumped up and kicked his crotch
That knocked him down a knotch
"You're daft! You're daft!"
Said I, said I, the woolly caterpillar.
Written by
Ryan Graham
Categories:
humor, humorous, violence,
Coffee
Why do I drink coffee?
It always makes me poo.
And when I smell that steaming turd,
it makes me think of you.
As you float there in the water,
I like to think you’re dead.
I pretend that I have killed you,
that I pinched off your head.
Written by
Mark Toney
Categories:
animal, conflict, humor, men, violence,
Moisturizing Matador
A well-groomed matador José
Liked to moisturize with Oil of Olay
His hands lost their grip
The cape it did slip
He was gored as he cried out "¡Olé!"
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
abuse, anger, bullying, humor, satire, silly, violence,
The Braggy Hooligan
I'm gonna spank Frank and then I'll whip Pip
Before I slug Bug, I'm gonna slap Cap.
I wanna hit Kit; I wanna smack Mac
I'll never like Ike, and I'll destroy Roy.
So I could lick Mick before I kick Rick
Why don't you die Sly, and say goodbye Guy.
Written by
Valsa George
Categories:
anger, funny love, violence,
Shock Treatment
As one freshly released from Bedlam
He asked her, intending no harm
"Can I kiss you madam"?
As if he were her Adam
Her fist fell on his cheek ‘dum’ ‘dum’!
Written by
Gerald Dillenbeck
Categories:
culture, health, humor, power, usa, violence,
Presidential Comedians
I hear in the Ukraine
there's a comedian
with no prior political experience
who has become their new President.
I wonder
they did not hear
we tried this model in the U.S.
a couple years ago
With predictable tragic/comedic results
not the least bit friendly
to public multicultural health
sold out
to support feudal monoculturing wealth
of not so funny kleptocrats.
Written by
Randy Johnson
Categories:
funny, humor, humorous, violence,
Black Friday
It's Black Friday and I grabbed the last iPad.
When I grabbed it, it sure made people mad.
One man kicked me in the crotch and another got his foot stuck in my ***.
Black Friday turns people into beasts, they sure don't have any class.
A man said if I didn't hand over the iPad, he would kidnap my wife's mother.
I told him to take the old crow, they deserve each other.
Black Friday brings out the worst in people and that's sad.
I'll break my foot off in your *** if you try to grab my iPad.
(This is a fictional poem.)
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
body, character, corruption, funny, hate, murder, violence,
Colonel Flighty
Colonel Flighty is a cad
Thinks himself a funny wag
Thinks he's mighty, ain't that sad
"Look at me! A strutting stag!"
Jiggly belly, jowls that sag
Throat all phlegmy, such a drag
Trousers smelly, makes you gag
Leaky colostomy bag.
Toss him quickly drown a crag
If he lives we'll be so mad
End his sickly feeble brag
Hear his fading shout, "Egad!"
Written by
John Beam
Categories:
humorous, parody, satire, violence,
A Nation Zzz's
Butterflies and chickens who knows, Maybe the next catch phrase
Written by
Gerald Dillenbeck
Categories:
caregiving, humor, integrity, mental illness, psychological, usa, violence,
Epic Paranoia
I wonder if this is an Elder RightBrain epidemic,
this confusion of NRA origins
as National Rifle Association
or National Republican Army;
A distinction of labels
perhaps without difference,
Sharing the same U.S. RedMeat population
of awesomely hungry pirates.
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
giggle, snow, violence, weather,
A Weather Wizard
A weather wizard
delivered a blizzard
to Chicago yesterday
If I weren’t so lily-livered
I’d have torn out his gizzard
~ right away
Written by
Anil Deo
Categories:
bible, business, god, humor, jesus, jewish, violence,
Humor At Jesus' Expense - 22 May 2020
Why was Jesus a Leftist? please extrapolate.
In John 2, Jesus overturns the money-changers' tables
In Mark 11, and Matthew 23, He cleansed the Temple of trade
He got to the City, took a left turn, not right to Roman garrisons
Jesus made a left, upset trade, earned his stripes as a LEFTIST.
Smith Wigglesworth, on the Bible, the only book he learned to read at 23: "When I read the newspaper I feel dirtier than I went in. When I read the Bible I feel cleaner than I went in. And I like feeling clean."
Written by
Olabosoye Wemimo Olaoluwa
Categories:
art, betrayal, hilarious, pollution, silly, vanity, violence,
Rigid Ego
Wickedness can be use for rapists
But what will one attach to plagiarists?