Humorous and funny Blank Verse poems and/or funny poems about Blank Verse. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Blank Verse funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Blank Verse Poems.
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
fun, humorous, word play,
Two scruffy pirates picked me up.
Intending to toss me overboard.
I weighed too much; they were struggling.
True.
They needed to lighten their load.
But I was not going easy.
I purposefully got heavier.
"She is flotsom," the tall fat one said.
"Jetsam," the dumb ugly one argued.
"Let's get a dictionary," I said. "Let's do this right."
This gave me a few more days,
as there were no books on this ship.
Poem Details | by
Maureen Mcgreavy |
Categories:
funny love, woman,
Out there
With her flair for chasing inspiration
She draws you in her reason
Connecting dots and constellations
Tripping
She takes you by the hand
Her world as messy as her mind
You need a guide
And as you wade through her chaff
Her heaps of half thoughts
Her every whim expressed
The only thing you know for sure is
Out there exists
Date: 11.19.2019
Contest Name: Disarray
Sponsor: Nina Parmenter
Poem Details | by
Charlie Smith |
Categories:
fantasy, humor, imagery,
When the sun kisses each drop of rain,
spirited colors warm the heart...
like a wind wisped feather,
landing lightly on the soul.
Romance calls,
from a fresh faint whisper
mingled cleverly among the fallen.
A daydream smiles,
in a seductive voice.
Conjured memories evolve,
from indifference to fact,
plunging deep into fantasy,
erotically eager,
intoxicatingly anxious.
All is euphorically joyful.
05/16/2021<>
Poem Details | by
Maureen Mcgreavy |
Categories:
humor, mom, sorry,
If I weren't afraid, I'd...
Have pulled that red lipstick
Out of my purse
And with cover
Of sister and cousin
Surrounding your coffin
Replaced that drab pink coral
With your trademark red
We knew it wasn't a colour
You'd have been caught in dead
9/11/2019
Poem Details | by
Eric Nolan |
Categories:
funny, happiness, life, satire, upliftingme, me,
My butt crack
Is quite a split
It supports the rest of me
when I sit
you thought I was gonna say something else didn't you ?
My butt crack
Is a marvel to behold
It was cute when I was young
but now offensive since I'm old
My butt crack
Is pretty darn straight
can you imagine if it was crooked
pretty weird sight I would rate
My butt crack
Is funny to me
when I bend over in my jeans
It peeks out
for you to see
My butt crack
wanted me to write this today
for no other reason
then just to say......................
I gotta split
LOL
Eric (and sometimes not)
Poem Details | by
Rudolph Rinaldi |
Categories:
age, funny, nature, society, technology, youth,
Fall and
red yellowing
leaves in the trees
an old man sitting
on a bench
watches them
fall
and thinks of his youth
a youth
sitting on a bench
looking into his iPhone
simulates the falling
red yellowing leaves
and googles
the future
of trees
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous, life,
No one wants to be left on the shelf for years
Guess you could say I’ve popped my cork
Now I’m fully mature with a rich full body
I could be described as a little fruity with a hint of spice
Please don’t keep me bottled up
Just give me time to breathe
Contest :- A wine Connoisseur
Sponsor: Chase Trevi
08~14~15
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous,
One look at you – that’s all it took
Your long long legs that seem to go on forever
Those eyes staring at me
All I feel for you is revulsion
Hate – it’s a horrible word but I simply detest you
There will never be a place for you in my life ...
Goodbye
Then I flushed the spider down the plughole!
26th March 2015
Poem Details | by
Arthur Vaso |
Categories:
art, dark, evil, funny, humorous, internet,
Skip ad
poem will resume very soon
wait
pause
turn off ad block
and
ad blocker
get dressed
is not that kind of poem
vote
please favorite me
I am flavor to be
like me
love me
photoshop me
pause for second ad
add ads, subtract ads
multiply wine ads
get more wine
is a long damn add
ok
bought the Mercedes
make love
to words
iPassion
is in
snap snap and chat
latex friendships
hollywood dreams
with amex
I never leave home
there she rests
in the trunk
blood mixed
with that new car smell
everything is modern these days
even my jail cell
Poem Details | by
Maureen Mcgreavy |
Categories:
humor, writing,
The page
bears so eagerly
the weight
of everything
inside of me
my pen prostrate
leaves a dent
I muse
this paper could use
some weightlessness
I make an airplane
instead
Poem Details | by
Ann Foster |
Categories:
anti bullying, appreciation, cancer, cry, faith, humor, hurt,
Come into my house,
Sit anywhere you like.
No, not at my table,
No, not on my chair.
Come into my house,
Sit anywhere.
I invited you,
I opened up my home.
Oh, I changed my mind,
It is a vaulted tome.
Sit anywhere.
Come into my house,
You really are not welcome.
You are a phantom guest,
And a sadly, unwanted pest,
Yet still...
Sit anywhere.
It is a perfect place,
You should have been more proud,
Just to be invited,
And permitted, in the crowd.
Sit anywhere.
With rules and hidden spaces.
And a common thought out plan,
You do not fit, so do not sit,
“Sit anywhere”.
Poem Details | by
Clive Culverhouse |
Categories:
fun, humorous, light,
the day I died
was a rainy one
but the sun came out
in the nick of time
I can laugh about it now
but it was a worry
Poem Details | by
A.O. Taner |
Categories:
august, beach, beautiful, cool, crush, deep, destiny, devotion, fantasy, feelings, first love, fishing, freedom, funny love, future, girlfriend, hope, i love you, i miss you, journey, joy, judgement, lost love, love, love hurts, meaningful, miracle, ocean, people, places, romance, sea, sensual, simple, spiritual, water, women, world,
Don't rush to wash off the sea salt
drying on your skin;
the hopes it carries from other oceans,
those remain yet to be seen.
Poem Details | by
Arlene Smith |
Categories:
funny, silly,
Clothes all clean
but the washing machine
ate up all my panties.
Raced to the store
to buy some more,
But bought instead some brandy.
Stopped at a shop
for a lollipop;
a treat I find so dandy.
My skirt fell down
In the middle of town.
Now everyone's eyeing my candy!
Poem Details | by
Scott Thirtyseven |
Categories:
giggle, humorous, morning,
MORNING
Good morning World.
Damn you!
and your warm
sunray fingers
prying open my eyes.
Robbing me of my
nocturnal fantasies,
my semiconscious bliss.
Leaving the remnants
of my peace
and tranquillity
laying scattered across
my face and through
my hair.
Your rising light
shrinking the shadows
of my freedom.
I will not be seduced
by your clear blue promises.
For your pressing realities
already taste foul
in my mouth.
Leave me Morning
to my diminishing serenity.
I have performed this piece and it shows on you tube (I hope this works, if not try copying to your address bar):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egYjy4Iu5e8&feature=youtu.be
enjoy
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
car, humorous,
The day started badly as I had a bat flattery on my vodge diper
It was roaring with pain when I arrived at the par cark at the mall
Went to put my bopping in the shoot and I turned into a bowel feast
I’d had a blushing crow… there was a rent in the dear
It had been hit by a bunken drum - I was mopping had!
He tried to apologise but was whiring his slords
I got out my phobile moan and a policeman cook my tall
He arrived at the mall in his canda par at the lead of spite
After my lad buck I went home to tell dumb and mad
Dad teased my ears, said I could use the buttle shush until it was mended
Contest: Spoonerisms Sponsored by Roy Jerden
02~29~16
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous, love,
Just one look at you
Tempting me, teasing me, tormenting me
I hate the feelings you evoke
Greed
Desire
Lust
Just want to hold you, devour you
I don’t want to see you go
But I can never resist the last chocolate in the box!
9th March 2015
Contest – Love or Hate – Pick a subject - Shadow Hamilton
I chose Love as my theme
~awarded 1st place~
Poem Details | by
Anne-Lise Andresen |
Categories:
angst, humorous,
I received an email today :
"Would you like to join
The Underpants Club"
A new underwear
directly at your door
once a month
(for only 20 bucks)
Did you say once a month?
My mother taught me
Replace after one use - without exception
In the old days
they had not heard of bacteria ...
but changed underpants
at least every other Saturday
When spring came
it was time for laundry
that took place outdoors,
at the creek or the water post
where there was plenty of clean water available
Fleas and lice are nasty
... and itches terribly
28.02.2020
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
Poem Of The Day: 01.03.2020
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
food, humorous, thanksgiving,
Turkey so dry that I can’t speak
Brussel sprouts boiled for a week
Roast potatoes burnt to a crisp
Lumpy gravy
I feel
Sick
Jan Allison
26th October
Inspired by Andrea’s contest but not written for it!
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous, valentines day, roses are red,
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I’m up for a quickie
Do you fancy one too?
13th February 2015
Poem Details | by
Liam Mcdaid |
Categories:
funny,
Out shopping met an old friend from school
he turns to me serious looking
what are you at these days
Well says I
working for a China man
picking up crumbs
for disabled birds
Those with broken wings
who are unable to fly smiling
to warmer sunnier climates
Whoa he sounded shocked
he said what a job
What's the money like
he asked laughing out loud
I said less than peanuts
out all weathers
Barely feed a mouse
God I am glad he said
that I have bumped into you
saying you have just really cheered me up
What a man really needed
Peanuts I replied
He began laughing
saying that I was a character
really brightened up his dull day
leaving all I heard was him laughing
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
body, humorous, wind,
For goodness sake, please stop
farting! I can smell that
foul stench all around our
flat. It stinks like a dead
fish! Small kids find it great
fun to let rip with their
farts … and then leave the room !
For fun ... Inspired by F Plaiedes contest… I will go with my gut reaction and enter my Fireworks poem lol
09/22/16
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
color, crush, food, humorous,
I met this cool dude called Jaffa
At the beginning he was so sweet to me
Sadly after a while he gave me the pip
In the end he ran out of juice and I had to squash him
Then I pulverised his flesh to a pulp
Cheers!
Contest: United Colours Orange Sponsored by Silent One
03~04~16
Poem Details | by
Anne-Lise Andresen |
Categories:
best friend, funny, missing,
Hold back the tears of sorrow
Imprisoned in this torment bounded by guilt
As I write your name on the wall
I miss the days when you were here
02.02.2017
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
Poem Details | by
Rhona Mcferran |
Categories:
food, humor, humorous, silly,
Love me or hate me
few people can take me
plain, unadulterated, true to myself
their compulsive need to gussy me up
or completely disguise me
gives me nightmares...
Horrible- horrible!
The worst is where
they try to make me
Savory.
Suffocated in sauces, sweet relish
and pickled beets
garnished with green olives
and fussy-cut vienna sausages
all dancing in fancy chorus lines
on top of me
Oh No! I can't take it...
It just can't be!
What are they thinking?!
I awake with a snug sensation
as something warmish
drapes and
drizzles
down my back
AAAAAHHH!
Caramel sauce-
Thank God!