Funny Poems About Toad or Toad Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Toad poems and/or funny poems about Toad. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Toad funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Toad Poems.

Poem Details | by Arthur Vaso |
Categories: allegory, animal, bible, deep, humorous, parody, smile,

A Toad

A toad
On a road
Squashed
The ford squished the toad
Gods wheels made the devil implode
Dreams seeping into the sun
Travelers
No idea the death they created
The toad
Now was rotting on the road
Death saved humanity
The toad was a loathsome load
Of vile spittle
Of spiteful dribble
Tribble and vitriol
The toad was a seeker
He found his destiny
As road kill
Gods will

Poem Details | by Donald Roddy |
Categories: funny

Toad In the Road

WITH THE SUNLIGHT ON MY FACE,
WHLE WALKING DOWN THE ROAD,
AS I LOOKED DOWN I SAW HIM,
WHO WAS IT, MISTER TOAD.

HE LOOKED AT ME WITH SOULFUL EYES,
AND ASKED IF I WOULD CATCH HIM FLIES,
SO I DID BUT AS TIME WENT ON,
I LOOKED AROUND, THE FLIES WERE GONE.

HE SAID THANKS AND HOPPED AWAY,
I WILL SEEE YOU AGAIN ANOTHER DAY,
BUT THEN I HEARD AN AWFUL SPLAT,
THEN I SAW HIM OH SO FLAT.

A CAR WENT BY,
ON DOWN THE ROAD,
OH WELL,
SO MUCH FOR MISTER TOAD.


Poem Details | by DM Babbit |
Categories: funny love, silly,

Ode To a Toad

An ode by Jove 
 to that old toad 
 who ate my fish 
 as I made a wish 
 and kissed him on the lips 
 to find my  prince.

But alas 
 he had no crown
 so I tossed him down 
 hard and angry in to the briar 
 at last I saw him for what he was 
 just a toad and a liar.

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: humorous,

Horny Toad

Said his lover to the horny toad:

"Buster, you can hit the road!

A 'horny' Romeo you ain't,

And here's the basis of my complaint!

I don't know why they call you 'horny'!

'Tis a gross misnomer and is so very corny!

When it comes to romance you are dead!

You're about as sensual as a loaf of moldy bread!"

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved

For those not acquainted with horny toads.  They are a species that sport horns on
their heads, therefore, called horned or horny toads and are quite common here in
Colorado.  I have no personal knowledge of a "horny" toad's sexual activities but 
apparently the little lady toadette in this poem is upset about it!

Poem Details | by Danielle White |
Categories: funny, health

Just Like a Toad

My head feels like it's gonna' 'splode,
I use my poetry to unload,
I almost never write in code,
the truth, I find, a simpler mode.

The little tumor's just a node,
but, dude, I look just like a toad,
I didn't notice while it growed,
so now my world is wrought with woe'd.


(misspellings intentional, for dialect & humor)

©Danielle White


Poem Details | by Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty |
Categories: fun, funny,

Poet and His Toad Wife

"The door kisses the window poor doormat cringes"
                             The poet stops his pen and his toad wife binges
                                         On ants flies and ice-cream
                                             Poet begins to dream
                           But on her next scheme his whole poetry hinges

Poem Details | by Bh Hallenburg |
Categories: cute love, humorous, mother daughter, valentines day,

Frog Valentine and Toad Response

Valentine from my Mother in 1973:

If you see a frog sittin' in a tree, 
Pull his tail and think of me.

My response:

Oh Toad!
Though butt of Jest and Ridicule since days of yore reviled;
Though favored on a Frenchman's plate and victim of a child; 
Though hunted by Brazilian bats, devoured in the night,
Or dried and sprinkled in the brew to conjure up a blight;
And even blamed for warts and such (although the wise know better)
when little boys decide it's fun to slip one down a sweater!
Despite all this, Poor Toady knows worst yet to come he sees...
is lovers climbing through the boughs tugging toadtails in the trees!!!

Poem Details | by Nancy Smith |
Categories: adventure, fantasy, funny, imagination, kiss, love,

My Toad and Me

Forever my love will grow
As a princess I will kiss my toad

Odd it may be
With gleam my toad and me

Everlasting our love will be
As  green grass under a willow tree

Happiness is a hip-hop
On a lily pad made for two

By choice I weaved this odyssey
Full of joy and merriment

Ladylove, my prince
All cloaked in emerald green

Sweet as honey from a busy bee
Enough is a kiss from that toad to me

Poem Details | by Ronda Aldridge |
Categories: adventure, animals, confusion, death, children, funny, lonely,

Horny Toad On a Lonely Road

She came across a bend
On a lonely road.
She walked upon some little rocks
And found a horny toad.
She cried as her heart then broke
cause that little toad there died.
She couldn't understand,
confused she stood and sighed.
That little horny toad
never moved or moaned at all.
As she stood there and stared,
not believing in that there she saw.
She wondered why she stumbled
on that little horny toad.
Where that toad there then died,
here upon a lonely road.

Poem Details | by Wayne Wysocki |
Categories: analogy, funny, humorous,

Toad Tale

by Wayne Wysocki

There once was an arrogant frog
Who thought he was king of the bog
         But he wasn't so regal
         When the bark of a beagle
Scared him right off of his log.

Poem Details | by 38 Tango |
Categories: funny,

The Frog and the Toad

Come, said the frog to the toad,
let us hop down to the pond, 
at the end of the road.
Jump on to a giant lily leaf,
and watch the fish,
as they swim underneath.
Dine on the succulent dragon flies,
see the  the world,
as it drifts by.

Then at the end of the day,
we can gaze at the stars,
watch the moon, 
as it passes mars.

Come said the frog to the toad.

Poem Details | by Clive Culverhouse |
Categories: animal, fun, funny, happy, humorous, inspirational, nonsense,

The Hapless Toad - FEATURED POEM

the hapless toad
who croaked a verse
and moved the trees around him

did sway the branches
sway the leaves
at the most profound of meaning

and too did cry 
the birds above
at so beautiful a stanza

and soon to history
rose the toad
recited oft' thereafter



Poem Details | by Arastu Goyal |
Categories: humor, humorous,

The Fat Man and the Toad

It was a nice day, and a fat man was crossing the road, but he slipped and fell and accidently stepped on a Toad.
He didn’t think much of it and again started to walk to work, but the toad…HE WAS ANGRY AND VERY IRKED!
He followed the fat man everywhere he’d go; it was pretty simple to do that because he would walk very slow.
He pooped everywhere inside the fat man’s house, and the fat set upped traps thinking it was probably a mouse.
But No…The toad was smarter than that, he followed him everywhere he went, pooped on his shirts and even his office pants.
So dear reader, don’t forget, if you anger a toad, on you, he will do, A number two.

Poem Details | by Arastu Goyal |
Categories: fun, humor,

Uncle Toad and Mr Frog

Uncle Toad and Mr. Frog
--------------------------
Uncle toad
Walks down the road
Talked to Mr. Frog
In a secret code
To sell some smoke pipes
They had made loads
Today they were ready
In 5 minutes all sold,
They got some money
But started to fight
"Toad give me more
I have a family to feed,
Anyways aren't you on a diet?"
Oh, damn! He said it!
Everyone on the street hides,
Mr. Frog is no more
He was hit pretty hard
Uncle toad is in prison
Playing cards

Poem Details | by Daisy Ward |
Categories: happy, humorous,

The Toad

I was walking the yellow brick road
When I stumbled upon a fat toad
With feathers for skin
He favored a hen
His face looked like a freakish ode

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: humorous,

The Toad is Ruining My Meal

Teensy tiny toad totally teeters on a goblet edge
In this prissy uppity restaurant! Screamed unappreciative Sedge.
The prices are outrageous! This toad is ruining my meal!
His blind date thought he was acting like a bit of a heel.

He wanted a refund, demanded the chef come their way.
His date, who had brought the toad, quickly ran out and away.
I guess I am the best gauge of character, the tiny toad said.
Yes, she agreed. I love it that you are always here for me, Ned.