Humorous and funny Suicide poems and/or funny poems about Suicide. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Suicide funny poems!
Written by
Rainer Loveiam
Categories:
funny,
Suicide Tourism In Switzerland
A paradise
You enter the country
Someone will follow you
And kill you gently
In a dark alley
Paradise never was so relaxed
Written by
Larisa Rzhepishevska
Categories:
funny, satire, suicide,
Lost a Hope
If you lost a hope
here is a nice fluffy rope
and a scented soap.
©LR
Written by
Jack Clark
Categories:
funny, hilarious, humor, humorous,
Slow Suicide
McNeer couldn’t take it no mo’
By rope-in-tree he would go
- Nerve’s gone I fear
- It’s been near a year
(He’s waitin’ for the saplin’ to grow!)
Written by
Mark J. Halliday
Categories:
depression, humorous, psychological, self, suicide, visionary
Escape To Nowhere
My reality sucks.
What's the point of being sane?
....................................................................................Can't escape myself.
Written by
Teddy Kimathi
Categories:
art, crazy, funny, philosophy, suicide,
Philosopher's Elegy
Prof. Twittie died from an
experiment; like and unlike Socrates, he intentionally
took hemlock, to see how the afterlife looks like
He intended to return
to the physical world after his
observations, which he didn't
For a century now, no one following
Prof. Twittie’s school of thought
has yet dared to take poison,
in order to return with Prof. Twittie
back to the physical world,
and finally conclude their findings
in pen and print
Written by
Whit Deschner
Categories:
animal, humorous, life, simile, suicide,
The Lemming
The lemming’s way
Is like Hemingway's
Written by
Austin Hale
Categories:
death, depression, funny, life,
Suicide
You told me to do whatever it takes to be happy.
I'm just following your advice. :)
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
death, depression, fun, humor, sad, silly
Suicide Note Is World's Shortest Poem
I
Die.
Written by
Kathy Lundy Derengowski
Categories:
age, food, humor, suicide,
Saved By the Dinner Bell
Saved by the (Dinner) Bell
So there’s the old woman lying in bed
with a Bible in hand and a gun to her head
She can’t see the point in waiting to die.
and is eagerly plotting her final good-bye.
But aromas of dinner are filling the room
with their mystical way of dispelling the gloom.
So she thinks she will wait until after the meal
(And admit it or not, that is how we all feel.)
That life is much brighter and problems are solved
that life is worth living, when food is involved!
Written by
Vladimir Tumanov
Categories:
humorous, suicide,
Rope
If you’re poor and have spent your last ducat,
you might end it by kicking the bucket.
But bereft of all hope,
should you hang from a rope?
I say buckets and ropes can go suck it.
Written by
Fred Jagenberg
Categories:
childhood, fairy, humor, imagination, suicide,
Peter Pan
Famous garb of tighty-tights
In flying high a child delights
To never have a crappy day
He smiles and floats and flies away
Propensity to lie ingrained
From that moment mind constrained
If only we could fly again
The smile would surely follow
Old and tested never tried
Life a disappointing ride
Until the day that I decide
To be like Peter Pan
Written by
Billy Thekidster
Categories:
dark, humor, suicide,
Failed Suicide
I once decided to commit suicide,
so I jumped off of the top of a Manhattan high rise.
As I plunged to my fate I screamed out and cried,
"I never finished anything ever in my life!"
I was about to hit the ground when a bus struck me.
"How appropriate," I thought prior to being deceased.
"I couldn't even finish my own suicide the way I planned it to be."
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
humor, irony, relationship, suicide,
Addiction Fiction
I'm addicted to talking
perhaps you're addicted to listening
How about I talk your ear off
And you -- O, my, that won't work, will it...
Written by
Martin Howard Samuel
Categories:
crazy, death, humor, mental health, silly, suicide
One Small Step, One Giant Leap
With those who
want to test the waters,
and yet have no wish
to get their feet wet,
but wait to have their cake
(and eat it too)
handed to them on a plate,
I will neither split hairs
and pick nits
nor reason or debate
(or tear their thoughts to bits)
so,
if they're going to 'fly',
(jump to a conclusion)
either do it or don't,
as Yoda said, 'There is no try,'
I may not agree,
but it's not up to me,
and can only advise,
should they desire
to self-defenestrate ASAP,
'Take the first window of opportunity.'