Humorous and funny Stalker poems and/or funny poems about Stalker. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Stalker funny poems!
Written by
Jesse Rowe
Categories:
crush, funny, funny love,
Stalker
romantic dinners
and walks together but she
won't know I was there
Written by
Crystol Woods
Categories:
funny, humor, parody,
You Are Always On My Mind: A Note From Your Stalker
You Are Always on my Mind: A Note From Your Stalker
Today I saw you leaving
I watched you pull away
Then I jumped into my car
And followed you all day
You are always on my mind
You are always on my mind
I love the way you dance
Like no one is watching you
And how you make funny faces
Like your curtains aren't see through
You are always on my mind
You are always on my mind
Tell me…that you'll never cut down your back yard tree
Give me…give me one more chance in your bathroom to peek
And I'll take a little peek.
You are always on my mind
You are always on my mind.
Written by
Jaycee Cervenka
Categories:
hilarious, marriage, satire,
My Stalker
Eyes, burning into me;
Leaving shivers as they strike
Then look away.
Anger, hanging around me;
Chokingly thick in the air
Like a steamy summer smog.
Movement, quickening near me;
Stalking my ever motion-
A puma awaiting its prey.
Sound, slamming through me;
Warning that the time
Is now at hand.
Okay, Dear, I'm done now.
You may have the bathroom.
Written by
Jim Tidd
Categories:
humor,
Ps Stalker Lament
The box was small, quarter inch tall,
why it was just so tiny!;
to see her face, on poet’s place,
don’t want to seem too whiny;
there was a smile, in photo file,
but view was not define-y,
I’d like "enlarge," in rant I charge,
to see her looks more finely!
[Herewith my humorous response to someone talking about their stalker issues on PS, which apparently is more common than I thought. It was originally a bit more ribald, but decided to avoid getting flamed. Someone should post a "Against My Stalker" contest.]
Written by
Deborah Foster
Categories:
addiction, funny love, happiness, solitude,
Stalker
I still see you
I watch you from
The corner of my eye.
I still examine you
Analyze your every move
I detect your frustration
But your my fascination.
I always observe you
I recognize every new line.
I honestly don't know
If you adore me as I do you.
I note you when you walk in
The sweet smell of sweat
Stuck onto your skin.
I still gawk when you sit still
You never seem to notice
Although I try to be discreet.
One day you'll catch me
And I will shyly glance away.
You don't know it but
I could gaze all day
(and some times I do)
Written by
Cheryl Hoffman
Categories:
humor,
Signs of a Stalker
Once again I hear eerie noises and more
glancing around I feel chilled to my core
is it another sign
an alien of some kind
no its cat paws underneath my door!
6-29-18
Written by
Frederica Coleman
Categories:
adventure, funny,
Dear Stalker
Dear Stalker
I need some space.
Was that you in the black car?
I enjoyed the chase,
but you went a little to far
removing my breaks.
Writting this is really hard..
but I don't feel safe..
so I put it in the card
with the birthday cake
Its not you its me.
you'll move on.
I, ran into the tree
You've done nothing wrong
I completely blame this wreck on me.
-Stalkee