Funny Sports Poems - Funny Poems for Life

Home » Poems » Funny Poems About Sports

Humorous and funny Sports poems and/or funny poems about Sports. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Sports funny poems!

Written by Donald Meikle
Categories: funny, sports,

Note To a Lady In Waiting

The white charger's belly is bloated with hay
The helmet helm's rusted quite shut
The tack room door hinges are tearing away
The leather's un oiled  and dry
The lance is still good
It is bracing the fence
but  I traded the sword for a pen
I am presently seeking a page
So if you're still waiting
and anticipating 
A Lochinvar ending of sorts
I shall purchase wild oats for the horse
I recall how to sow them of course
With hardly a shred of remorse

Written by Thvia Shetley
Categories: funeral, funny, sports,

A Golf Limerick

While a man was golfing in Fife
a funeral cortege was arife,

       his head bowed in prayer
       at this somber affair

to pay last respects to his wife!

Written by Joe Flach
Categories: funny

Sports Limerick

There once was an Olympic swimmer
Who accidently ate Viagra for dinner
His Speedo grew tight
He was awarded that night
A gold medal as the pole-vault winner

Written by Jeremy Lile
Categories: family, funny, happiness, passion, people, sports

My Dream Car

My dream car is known to be one of muscle,
which can quickly get up and hustle.

The year would have to be nineteen hundred and Sixty nine,
best year of Camaro to come off the production line.

Orange in color with white racing stripes that line the hood,
along with new aluminum rims would be good.

Its engine would be a three twenty seven,
bearing a Holley Carb would be heaven.

To take it out on the road for a test,
assuredly it would be the best.

I would wash and wax it night and day,
in the garage is where it would stay.

Oh how that would be the car for me,
unfortunately one I’ll never see.

Written by Julie Grenness
Categories: fun, giggle, sports,

Indoor Sports

This is a verse of new thoughts,
I've invented indoor sports,
Written in a poem of riddles,
Like, "What is Time for Tiddles?"
Why, it's wine with Mahjong,
Those tiles don't tarry long,
Then, it's "Drinks for Scrabble,"
With bevvies, we'll all dabble,
Or, "Come and try my beers,"
Many varieties over here,
New indoor sports, my dears!

Written by Harry Horsman
Categories: funny, me, race, sports,

Gold

If my horse on the race course
a winner for me
then the course for my race horse
makes me debt free.

So the beat of the mare's feet
makes me debt free
gold such a treat for this feat
a winner for me.

© Harry J Horsman  2012

Written by Duke Beaufort
Categories: god, hockey, humor, sports,

march 17 hockey holy trinity

They're pagans on ice with wood sticks
And maximum pain each inflicts
But Saint Patrick knows
God prefers trios
Like three-leaf shamrocks and hat tricks

Written by James Fraser
Categories: humorous, soccer, sports,

Coach, Coached


Working in physical education
Blond teacher had a realisation 
Spotting a young boy alone
Standing all on his own
Her curiosity, frustration 

Young man, why are you all on your own
To the others, why are you disowned
Well, I'm not the teams sweeper
I'm their bloody goalkeeper
Please Miss Coach, it's time you went home




<*>

Written by Martin Kloess
Categories: golf, humor, sports,

A Golfer's Tale

Was out playing golf just for fun
With Father O’Toole in the sun
When club from hand burst
Hit priest as he cursed
And I hit his first holy one

Written by Carolyn Devonshire
Categories: funny, high school, sports,

A Threat To the Hockey Team

Each child has talents and Dee always loved to skate
One night at the lake she was called up to the plate
 
The high school hockey team was “slip-sliding away”*
So call her a chauvinist; Dee wanted to play
 
But when the coach recruited her for the team
One boy offered a bottle of shaving cream
 
They couldn’t skate backward; Dee sure showed them how
Stealing their puck, she curtsied, and took a bow
 
Take it from Dee, men don’t like to be upstaged
By her free-flowing glide the boys were outraged
 
When it came time for the school’s holiday dance
To find a date, this skater hadn’t a chance

Written by Charmaine Chircop
Categories: humorous,

Rugby Balls One Liner Sports

 No wonder his dropping  balls are egg - shaped . He 's a veteran  rugby player 



Not for the contest but inspired  by  the Sports one liner contest : )

Written by Carolyn Devonshire
Categories: football, humor, sports,

Eulogy For a Quarterback's Reputation

We're angry!  What sports fan can blame us?

There hasn't been one loss for Jameis

     But off-the-field ruckus

     Makes sportscasters muck us

Once famous, now Jameis just shames us






*Written about former FSU quarterback Jameis Winston's run ins with the law.

Written by John Hamilton
Categories: humor, people, poetry, sports,

Sport-Gymnastics

Gymnastics

Gymnastics and poetry are holding hands, they're falling head over heels in love.


John Derek Hamilton
December 09, 2015

Written by David Fisher
Categories: funny, sports, golf,

Shout 'Foreplay'

I learned to golf the following way;
That after each stroke you shout, ‘foreplay!’
Then when you get up
You shoot for the cup,
And if asked give an instant replay.


For Craig's Golf Limerick contest

Written by James Horn
Categories: humorous, sports,

Round of Applause

Here is my next sports rap poem. Jim

Round of Applause

Already now I must admit
What is it we have to hit?
How about homer with baseball
Not strike three they did call.

Why fool around and always fret
Should kick a goal into the net
Don't continue to turn and toss
Should go at and play Lacrosse.

How about football you will boot
Run and produce a lot of loot
Or hear those in high society
Prefer polo and love rugby.

No matter where chips may fall
God's life in you will be a ball
And who if in always do believe
Round of applause will receive.

WOW. Double WOW, and Triple WOW.

James Thomas Horn
Retired Veteran

Written by Reginald Telemacque
Categories: hilarious, horse, metaphor, race, sexy, sports

Horse Racing

She opened her legs then hopped up on it

She gripped it tight then sat down on it

He started to move so she began to ride it

She loved the feeling cuz she enjoyed it

She pulled out the whip to show that she was master

And when she swung it he began to go faster

She started to scream at the top of her voice

For the way he made her feel her voice got so hoarse

After a thirty minute run he started to tire

For this horse was no longer young he was ready to retire

Written by Carolyn Devonshire
Categories: funny, sports

Catch of the Day

My passion for fishing is well known

But sometimes my catch brings a huge groan

     Octopus clung to my boat

     Dolphins around me did gloat

The queen of the sea had been dethroned



Sadly, a true story for Royal’s Favorite Sport challenge.
It took my 10 minutes to try and pry the octopus from
the back of the boat.  Each time I pulled up one arm, 
it slapped down another one.  They have suction cups on
their arms.  My article “Octopus on Board” was 
published in Florida Wildlife magazine.

Written by Jan Allison
Categories: beach, humorous, sports,

Olympic Beach Volleyball - One Liners Sport

Bikini clad babes bouncing on a beach, a VERY popular spectator sport!

09~12~15

Contest – Sport One Liners
Sponsor – Silent One

Written by James Study
Categories: humorous, sports,

A Basketball Tale

Basketball tip off at grade school game
My biggest lifetime shot at fame
Got the ball and took off
Heard the yells from aloft
Wrong way I went but good my aim

Written by Sean Kelly
Categories: funny,

Are All Sports a Load of Balls

This is not a Sports Limerick ; For Jan's Limerick Contest .


My  Limerick  will not  mention  Sports .

Either pitches , golf courses  or  courts .

'Cept  cranky  old  farts

Who  like  playing  darts

With  no  fuss in a truss  of  supports .

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry guys , I just couldn't resist it !
Happy Christmas to all the talented writers here , and to those who passed comment on my "ramblings" . May your pens be sharp/witty and bountiful for 2016 
Sean .

Written by Ray Dillard
Categories: humorous, nature, sports,

Catch a Big'Un

If yer one and only wish is to catch one really big fish,
Then ya need ta stop bait'n fer minners.
If you'd read my first book you'd use a big hook,
An'a bait big n'uf fer yer dinners.
It might take ye' awhile, but if fishin's yer style,
Ya might catch 'im with one week 'o fishin'.
It's well worth the wait when a hawg takes yer bait,
An' th' catch is as big as yer wishin'!

Written by Andrea Dietrich
Categories: funny, car, old, car, old, sports

My First Car - a Not So Rosy Story

My very first car was, I think,
a Monza, which was rosy pink.
At a somewhat cheap price,
that old sports car was nice,
but my luck with her sure did stink!

Cleaned and polished, she was looking fine;
I was happy to claim her as mine
although she was such
a hog! On too much
gasoline that old sports car would dine!

On a big trip I took her; I cried
to find out that her engine was fried.
From a crack in her block
she stopped working. Tick Tock!
Time is short; in six weeks she had died!