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Funny Poems About Crown Of Sonnets
Humorous and funny Crown Of Sonnets poems and/or funny poems about Crown Of Sonnets. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Crown Of Sonnets funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Crown Of Sonnets Poems.
Poem Details | by
Sandra Haight |
Categories:
humor, mother, son,
Elizabeth’s Throne
You still sit on England’s grand throne!
For sixty plus years crown you own!
Your subjects all wait—
Will you abdicate?
Will Charles make it to the King zone?
© Sandra M. Haight 2015
All Rights Reserved
~1st Place
Contest: Long Live the Queen
Sponsor: Judy Konos
Judged: 06/06/2015
.
Poem Details | by
Lisa Bailey |
Categories:
childhood, funny, mother, son, mother,
Mother may I
Go out and play
My child
Have you cleaned your room today
Are your toys packed away
in your toy chest with care
Yes mother yes
its all in there
Did you make your bed
like i showed you how
yes mother yes
may I go now
Yes son yes
after a brief inspection
son shakes his head
not what I was expecting
Never-mind mother
I'm going to my room
oh by the way
can you hand me the broom?
Poem Details | by
Christopher Allen |
Categories:
humor, humorous,
we're in a cafe and he's unsure if he can
finish his slice of CAKE, one of those
fondant numbers and so we've made an arrangement
which will allow me to consume half of it
but then, "dad, i actually think i can finish it."
i get a message from a friend asking how are the kids today
i reply like what i make of the french revolution;
it's too early to tell
Poem Details | by
Hidden Sister |
Categories:
child, humorous, slam, son,
My whinny,crabby, hungry teen
Your stinky,spoiled and quite mean
You want, you need, you have to have
The latest,newest, modern fad
Your greasy, grimy, hands smear
My wall, light switches, and the mirror
Empty snack bags,with sweet and sour
Create tall,extensive buildings that tower
Your messy,your dirty,in need of a shower
Please make it quick,not loiter an hour
Your smelly,nasty, disgusting shoes
Are slowly poisoning every room
Even with big mouth,rolling eyes and sighs
I would not trade you, I surmise
Poem Details | by
Jslambert Mister Roboto |
Categories:
caregiving, childhood, confusion, family, father, children, funny, happiness, holiday, husband, imagination, life, mother, natural disasters, nature, parody, people, places, satire, social, son, teen, wife
***NOTE~TO BE READ WITH A RIDICULOUS "SILKY SOUTHERN DRAWL" (have fun:)***
"Storm over yet...?"
"Well hay'ell ye'ah!
woo-hoo!
sum'body git me a da'gumm cole beer.
whadda'bou that boy th'er?
sum'body git him'a cole beer too!"
"Diddy! that boy ain't nothin' but 8 years old!"
"Wha'choo sayin?
wha'th'a?
na'I don't give a jolly'durn, if he ain't nuttin but 8 year'owed!
shoot!
'dat boy dun' sat him thr'ew a big ol', storm!
torna'durr warnin' too!
he gonna have him'a cole burr;
on me!"
my treat!
mama, git him'a cole burr!
ro'tt now;
ya'here?
besides...
ta'days father's day!"
© 2011 ~JSLambert Esquire
Poem Details | by
Eve Peterson |
Categories:
child, daughter, funny, son,
Rubber duckie you're the one
You're the reason I'm the one
Rubber duckie
You're the one for me
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
humorous,
They've named a new dish of pasta and noodles
After my wannabe chef, makes dough by the oodles
They call it “la scotta”
To try it ya oughtta
Puts hair on your chest and makes you bug out your pupils!!!
© Jack Ellison 2015
Poem Details | by
D. C. Jordan |
Categories:
boyfriend, feelings, humor, mother son,
There was a young lady from Wheeling
West Virginia, that is
Who had a peculiar feeling that
Her boyfriend Jack was cheating
She took it to his Mom
“Mom” she said, “your son Jack
Is really pissing me off.
I'm ready to hit the ceiling.”
“Ya know,” Mom said, “You crack me up.
I'm tickled he goes to your head
He irritates me the same way about you
So I tell him to stay unwed.”
So Mom was the other woman
The young lady from Wheeling suspected
So she lay on her back and considered Mom amd Jack
“I would like to see them dissected!”
Poem Details | by
Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories:
humorous, political,
Even Honest Abe Lincoln admitted himself that he wasn't all that pretty,
But you'll be hard-pressed to find a president who was more witty!
During debates, Stephen Douglas called him a two-faced son-of-a-gun.
Lincoln replied, "If I had another face, do you think I would wear this one?"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved
Poem Details | by
Misheel Chuluun |
Categories:
childhood, family, funny, growing up, son,
So delicious my baby's right cheek
looked
to his brother
Of course he took a hard bite
on that
soft sweet sight
His cruel curiosity was confused,
amused
it's too easy to hurt
My baby threw a wail mile high
his brother
jumped...a fearful cry.
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous, husband, i love you, mother son, wisdom, boxing day,
The time has come for me to say goodbye forever
I am not brilliant at expressing my emotions
But in the words of ‘Sealion Dion’ ….
‘I will always love you’
If you check in the filing cabinet
You will find my portfolio of shares
I have kept the Woolworth's certificate it may be valuable
They may resurface one day ….
That’s the wonder of Woolies!
If you ever need a new sofa…. don’t forget these immortal words
The DFS Half Price Sale starts at 10am on Boxing Day!
Contest:- My Parting Gifts
Sponsor:- Viv Wigley
02~06~16
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
body, for her, for him, hair, humorous, mother son,
Phil’s caveman look is very weird
He really should shave off his beard
His mother is right
He looks a strange sight
The Neanderthal look’s to be feared!
Since December Phil’s been hirsute
He needs to give his beard a boot
He’ll cut it off in the sink
But his mum won’t cause a stink
Cos without it he looks real cute!
Poem Posted with Kind permission of Phillip Garcia
To understand the poem please read my comments on Phillip's poem
https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/3443_or_t_minus_44_880105
02~26~17
Poem Details | by
Mary Rotman |
Categories:
childhood, education, funny, giggle, humorous, mom, son,
O Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, mine
Please say it isn’t so!
At school today we learned about sex---
But I didn’t want to know.
O Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, dear
Please say it isn’t true!
They taught us what erections are,
And all the girls said “ew!”
Mommy mine, you haven’t done it,
Have you, Mommy dear?
But wait---how else can I explain
The fact that I am here?
Poem Details | by
Mark Goodson |
Categories:
father, funny, nostalgia, son, sports,
As a new father I coached my little league son
He was clumsy and uncoordinated
Picked dandelions in the outfield
Watched bumble bees fly and hum
Would run to a grounder and watch it stop
pick it up to throw it but it would drop
He enjoyed his team mates for they were friends
He struck out more than hitting the ball
Funny thing was he would always run whether he did or not
How I wanted him to hit the ball so hard
Perhaps a grand- slam homerun for him and my heart
But the greatness was in him- he was part of the team
His greatest joy was afterwards
When we’d all go get ice-cream
Poem Details | by
Muhereza Rodgers Roger |
Categories:
baby, funny, hero, inspiration, memorial day,
He died forty
with strength and wit
He left a son Young and young
He died nighty
With bones no teeth
He left a boy pale and forty
They meet in paradise
Dad still forty
Son at nighty
Dad thought it was grand pa
Son thought he was grand son
Who had died also
Poem Details | by
Jacquelyn Sturge |
Categories:
funny, son, old, old, son,
I read a rhyme and I was so vexed
I feel that Old Mother Goose was hexed,
Didn't condemn this thief
And this brought me grief,
But he got beat up by Old Man Tex.
Tom the Piper's son stole pig and ran
This little boy acts like a big man,
Protective services
Moves him from premises,
Now the Piper smokes all that he can.
He sent his son Tom to go and steal
I wouldn't mind if 'twas for a meal,
But we all knew that it
Was to support his habit,
I think he should be locked up for real.
Poem Details | by
Dialectic Crisis |
Categories:
angst, father, father daughter, father son, funny, integrity, silly,
"Knock-Knock!" - Who's there?
"Diaphragms!" - Diaphragms who?
"Diaphragms...Don't always seem to work...
...I don't know how else to tell you this...
...So I am just gonna say it
as politically correct
and incorrectly apolitical
as I've been reprogrammed to speak
by The Disney Company:
"Luke, I am your sperm donor!"
- I sure hope I don't disappoint you as much
as George Lucas disappoints God and such..."
Poem Details | by
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen |
Categories:
death, funny, history, son, son, , fate,
Henry VIII desireth an heir.
Wife after wife, nary son hath wives bourne.
Thusly, he cut off each head.
Findeth a new wife instead.
His sole son hath been born from an affair.
Poem Details | by
Elijah Johnson |
Categories:
child, fantasy, father son, children, humor,
If dragons were real asked my son
Would I be able to keep one?
He could stay with me up in my room
Saturday morning we'll both watch cartoons
I could take him with me to school
And play Marco Polo in the pool
But what would you feed him asked I?
He'd need to fly high in the sky
If you catch one they get pretty mean
Dragons live in our wildest dreams.
Poem Details | by
Jslambert Mister Roboto |
Categories:
dedication, father, funny, health, history, satire, son, sports, teen,
Finished before start
Colts fans leap from Bandwagon
Peyton Manning's hurt
Poem Details | by
Richard Breese |
Categories:
cheer up, confusion, farm, humorous, mother, mother son, soccer,
once an old con bob hanks
greeted tellers with thanks
please call me dom
named for my mom
then thieved his way through banks.
Poem Details | by
Gail Debole |
Categories:
funny, humor, nature, , cute,
Written by Gail DeBole
on June 4, 2016
He couldn’t understand why
He wasn’t well-liked.
It always seemed like others
Were ready to strike.
His mother thought that
He was the cutest of all
With his eyes so large
And his stature so small.
He was quite fast
And could live on his own.
But he couldn’t help cringing
When he heard others groan.
When he was in sight
He was treated worse than a spy.
Only Mother Nature can appreciate
The life of a fly.
Poem Details | by
May Fenn |
Categories:
animal, childhood, family, humorous, parents, son, word play,
A kid is not a human child
But offspring of a goat
So why do you then call him so
And thus your son demote.
Kids are animals wild and free
That butt and kick and bite,
On second thoughts – I’ve met your son,
Perhaps in fact you’re right.
Poem Details | by
Connie Gildersleeve |
Categories:
humor, mom, son,
Spun web way up high, too far to reach from the floor-
Slightly bent forward, working with gloves and a broom,
Swinging away, causing the ladder to wobble even more,
She let out a scream when the spider crawled onto her broom.
I softened her fall, when she tumbled down, landing right on top of me.
"Ma you're driving me nuts, you're not that young anymore."
I was mad as hell, but we started to laugh as we lay there on the floor.
What can you do with an old stubborn woman like ma?
Poem Details | by
Randy Johnson |
Categories:
funny, humor,
I'm going to tell you something and I'll be quite plain.
I have a fifteen year old son who couldn't be potty trained.
I tried to potty train him but I wasn't able to succeed.
He still wears diapers because they're what he needs.
The kids make fun of him when he takes showers at school.
They laugh when they see his diapers, my son truly is a fool.
He's not even smart enough to change his diapers, his gym teacher and I have to do it.
Using protection on the night when he was conceived would've been wise but I blew it.
The situation is so embarrassing, what am I going to do?
I really hope and pray that other people aren't in my shoes.