Humorous and funny Sick poems and/or funny poems about Sick. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Sick funny poems!
Written by
Donal Mahoney
Categories:
heart, sick,
Funny As a Heart Attack
A group of older men gather
once a week to talk about life
after a heart attack.
Old Len chews tobacco still
and tells jokes in a voice so low
no one can hear the punch line.
Another man asks Len
to talk louder so they all
can hear the punch line.
That’s when they discover
Len's been telling the same joke
at every meeting, over and over.
The joke’s about a loan officer
who lends a man $10,000 for a
face lift that turns out so good
the lender can’t find him.
With heart attacks in common,
the men yell “Tell it, again, Len!”
Donal Mahoney
Written by
Ella Weiss
Categories:
7th grade, art, death, earth, faith, funny love, sick,
Covid-19 Is Everywhere
"Its corona time" they said
I really hope I don't wind up dead
Many people have such as Tom Hanks
He's been tested. It wasn't a prank
Stores are running out of Purell and toilet paper
COVID-19 is like a game and we are all desperate players
Wash your hands and say a prayer
Becasue coronavirus is everywhere
Written by
Freddie Robinson Jr.
Categories:
humor, people, satire, sick,
Quit Yer Bellyachin'
Stop complainin’ ‘bout how much
yer stomach hurt
It’s yer own fault that yer feelin’ that way
Got a heavy Ding Dong diet
of cream-filled, empty truth lies
Low-cal info givin’ ya no energy news blues
Creatin’ irregular bowel movements
that keeps sendin’ ya ta da bathroom
It’s yer own double dog fault,
so quit yer bellyachin’
Just pop a truth pill that gives the fizz ...
suck the liquid medicin’ down,
drink all of it
And change yer diet, change it quick
Otherwise, yer gonna keep gettin’ sick
Written by
Paula Goldsmith
Categories:
animal, food, fun, giggle, sick, uplifting, world,
Holiday Humor
in a flash Santa took off
he has a case of whooping cough
the reindeer are wired
now hungry and tired
they say it is time for beef stroganoff
Written by
Gwendolen Song
Categories:
kids, funny, imagination,
The Sick Zebra
A zebra looked in the mirror one day
His stripes were fading from black to green
His eyes looked sallow and his stomach upset
Like when he ate too much candy on Halloween
He took some brown paint and covered his green stripes
Remembering the color wheel from third grade art
Brown plus green equals a return to black
He looked in the mirror and said, “Gee whiz! I’m smart!”
Written by Gwendolen Rix
5-20-14
For my grandson Sebastian
Written by
Kim Merryman
Categories:
anxiety, funny, sick,
Oh Me, Oh My
Oh me! Oh my!
I think I'm going to die!
I bumped my head,
I'll soon be dead!
Oh me, oh me, oh my!
Oh dear! Oh dear!
I know my end is near!
I coughed, I sneezed,
and then I wheezed!
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!
What's that you say?
I'm going to be okay?
You haven't heard
a single word.
I'm at death's door today!
(This is a parody of someone I know who gets overly dramatic
when she doesn't feel well)
6/16/15
Written by
Shirley Candy
Categories:
humorous, me, sick,
A Patient and a Nurse
I'm hospitalized and there was a nurse named Jane
She said I need plenty of sleep for my health attain
She took samples of my urine and then replaced the infusion
She gave me my medicine and always checked on my condition
And every time I tried to sleep, her present made me awake again!
Written by
Barbara Gorelick
Categories:
funny, health
Sea Sick
I wanted to go fishing in the ocean
Forgot the result of constant motion
You wouldn't believe
How much I heaved
Would give gold for a nausea potion
For the "Fishing" contest.
Written by
Dave Collins
Categories:
anger, conflict, humorous, sick, wisdom,
Diamonte Dumbmonte
Idiocracy
Irrevelant, trivial
Idiot, imbecile, moron, bastardo
Falling, vomitting, succombing
Unbecoming, reticient
Dead
Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
funny, sick,
Six Simpering Thick-Skinned Shifty Spinster Sisters
Six simpering thick-skinned shifty spinster sisters stiffly sit
Stitching sticky skid-marked scivvies of sixty sick stingy sailors.
Six sick from stitching scivvies of sixty sick scrimping sailors
Stickle over nickels; those insistent six thick-skinned spinster tailors!
For Joe Sandler's Tongue Twister Challenge Poetry Contest
Written by
Jerry T Curtis
Categories:
candy, humor, humorous, satire, sick, silly, word play,
Give Us a Lickin'
Arianna Grande (FYI The Actress was recently caught licking an un-purchased donut in a store)
You can lick my Butter finger
You can lick my Baby Ruth
And even all three musketeers
If you're in the mood
Mr. GoodBar you can lick it
Oh Henry, lick'em too
But there's one thing little Ari
You must never ever do
You can touch your tongue to Wonka
Swap spit with Almond joy
Run your lingua 'cross my mounds
Which I'm sure you've done before
Rub saliva on Godiva
You can slime my Hershey's S'mores
But never ever Ari
Touch a Donut in my store
Written by
Rhoda Tripp
Categories:
dark, eulogy, funny, giggle, humor, prison, scary,
Sick, Dark, and Scary Humor
That woman you sext...
Her husband got out early.
Ten years for murder?
Entered in contest for
Brian Strand
2 or 3 line poem.
Written 11/25/17
Written by
Al Juman
Categories:
car, humor, lust, romance, sexy, sick, youth,
Said My Car - Erotic
Said my car,
Beautiful,
drive me in lover boy,
Slowly, Slowly,
Owe-wee
This is so congenial.
Let me savor every moment.
So tight you are revving every muscle in me.
Love it!
sweating a sheen on me,
like a fresh coat of wax.
Ah, Ah, Aha-a!
This is ecstatic,
keep me parked right here.
Don't move a squint.
Wow I am in Lovers Lane.
I mean every car would want to park here
but this Garage is mines.
12/3/2013 © A. Juman The "said" Poet
Type In (A. Juman) For A relaxing and astonishing moment with all my POEMS
Written by
Lee Leon
Categories:
allegory, animal, blue, farm, funny, recovery from, sick,
Poor Ewe
When you're a sheep and feel unwell, it's also often true
When dipped into your medicine, you come up feeling blue
Blue from your woolly noggin-lid, down to your woolly socks
And inside from your woolly brain, down to your woolly hocks
So when you are a poorly sheep, and feel in poorly form
You're gonna feel off-colour, 'cos off-colour is the norm
And both insides and outsides are tinged with shades of blue
There's only one thing left to say, and that will be, "Poor Ewe!"
Written by
Matthew Wetter
Categories:
body, funny, hurt, sick,
Parasites
Bugger off Shingles!
Go away fleas! I don't need
Itchy skin disease!
Written by
T Wignesan
Categories:
humorous, sick,
Limerick: Once a Sick Sikh In a Great Hurry
Limerick : Once a sick Sikh in a great hurry
Once a sick Sikh in a great hurry
Went to see a doctor after (a) hot curry
He hurried back mid-way
You know why so don’t bray
Now (he) sees doctors only when merry.
or
Since (he) sees doctors under a lorry
or
Now he sees proctors I’m so sorry.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
Written by
Rhoda Tripp
Categories:
corruption, dark, emo, humor, humorous, natural disasters, sick,
Demon Dance
There once was an old man, a perv.
And wow! He had quite the nerve.
He pulled down his pants,
Said "Watch my demon dance."
He really threw me a curve.
Written by
Nigel Fawcett
Categories:
funny, health
Word Morph - Well To Sick
last night I really didn't feel quite WELL
I tried to shake it off with all my WILL
with window open, hands upon the SILL
I deeply breathed fresh air that felt like SILK
which did the trick for I'm no longer SICK
Written by
Sara Kendrick
Categories:
funny, health,
When I Was Sick
The Land Of Counterpane
Written by: Robert Louis Steveson
"When I was sick and lay a- bed
I had two pillows at my head
All my toys beside me lay
To keep me happy all the day"...Quoted..Robert Louis Stevenson
When I Was Sick
By Sara Kendrick
If I have missed reading you lines
Or failed to comment all the time
I have been blowing nose
And coughing crud and my breathing doesn't flow...
I sound like the evening whistle
When it is about out of steam
A wheeze so loud it messes up my dreams
Maybe in a day or two
I will be able to get back to you
Written by
Eve Roper
Categories:
allusion, funny, sick, song,
Dressed In Pink Singing a Song of Harmony
singing a song of harmony
cheerfully sung eternally
covered in pink so perfectly
my silly desire of tenacity
cheerfully sung eternally
from just drinking herbal tea
my silly desire of tenacity
pink is all I wore for certainty
from just drinking herbal tea
rushed to the emergency
pink is all I wore for certainty
embarrassed I’ll be for eternity
rushed to the emergency
covered in pink so perfectly
embarrassed I’ll be for eternity
singing a song of harmony
7/22/2016
A Monorhyme and Pantoum form with no perfect meter
Written by
Volodymyr Knyr
Categories:
dog, feelings, health, humorous, sick,
A Good Nose
A dog's, if not a doc's, good nose
is good enough to diagnose.
Volodymyr Knyr
2014
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
hate, humor, irony, nursery rhyme, sick, silly, sports,
Sports
Sports, sports,
I love sports
About as much
As venereal warts.
Written by
Volodymyr Knyr
Categories:
animal, body, health, humorous, men, sick, word play,
His ***
He whose *** is for sales
knows well why his *** ails.
Volodymyr Knyr
2014
Written by
Thomas Wells
Categories:
crazy, fun, funny, giggle, humor, humorous, sick,
Nevada Cowboy
There once was a cowboy from Nevada.
He wore a barf bag as a bandana.
When he rode on his horse,
his sickness grew worse,
and his intestines flared with melena.
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
food, funny, music, parody, sick, silly, song,
Do You Want To Eat a Peanut
You'll never know how much I gag on peanuts
You'll never know how rotten peanuts are.
Listen.
Do you want to eat a peanut
Do you promise not to heave.
Woh oo Woo oh
Closer.
Let me stuff one in your ear
So that you can hardly hear
I'm in love with Tums oo oo oo oo.
I've eaten peanuts for a week or two
Don't chew them up they come out in your poo
Listen.
Doo Wah Doo. Do you want to eat a peanut
Doo Wah Doo. Do you promise not to heave.
Woh oo Woo oh
Closer.
Doo Wah Doo. Let me stuff one in your ear
Do Wah Doo. So that you can hardly hear
I'm in love with Tums oo oo oo oo
Oo oo oo oo oo.