Humorous and funny Shopping poems and/or funny poems about Shopping. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Shopping funny poems!
Written by
Sidney Beck
Categories:
funny,
Shopping Together
SHOPPING TOGETHER
We went to the wood shop together
To select for the job the right timber -
Ooh, - laths, two-by-ones, maybe plywood ?
She was unmoved - finished, unfinished, one-side-good ?
Mmmm, - beech or oak or pine?
See the fine line and polished shine ?
She felt little emotion for my dowelling,
Any more than paper towelling.
She heard no timbre in struck timber,
No note she could remember :
It sent her to slumber
To encumber her mind with lumber -
It was all so much mumbo jumbo.
Standing with arms akimbo
No matter where she stood
It was just wood, wood, wood, wood.
Written by
James Marshall Goff
Categories:
humor
Shopping For Bread
This should be easy
Store Baked? (assumes better)
Brand Name? (assumes integrity)
Store baked:
39 lines of ingredients
4 of those lines real food
Brand names:
Same as above, but
Ahhh!
Found!
A brand from Milwaukee
(rye)
4- lines
Edible ingredients!
Nice slice of spam
Perfect!
11/27/13
Written by
Monty Newman
Categories:
funny
I Hate Shopping
I hate shopping
but when I go shopping
I know what I’m looking for
I go to the right store
I go to the right floor
I grab it
they bag it
and I am out the door
Shopping is an awful chore
Written by
Barbara Gorelick
Categories:
angst, funny
Christmas Shopping
I bravely went Xmas shopping at the mall
Took my plastic, trying to buy gifts for all
I started to sigh
then began to cry
Ill be paying for this junk until next fall...
For Carolyn's contest
Written by
Liberty Robbins
Categories:
funny, love, car,
The Evil Shopping Cart
In car seats sitting in a parking lot, grocery store
We witnessed a most ghastly gore
An out of control shopping cart
On a path toward my car door
I yelled, “WHAT DO I DO?!”
When in a panic
One often has no clue
I panicked and raced
To get keys into place
But they landed
Jingling to the floor
You said, “HURRY!!!!”
I tried my best to scurry
Relieved when the key and ignition
Made love
I threw it in reverse
For the cart wasn’t to be coerced
When we escaped
Feeling like heroes, caped
We put the groceries on the counter
And made love for an hour
Written by
Gregory Stomboly
Categories:
funny,
Shopping List
Bananas and green beans,
a lot of other healthy things.
I’ll probably get some soda pop
and I think we need a new wet mop.
If the cart has room for a new TV
I’ll splurge and get one just for me!
Frozen pizza is on my list
and 3 2-liters of Sierra Mist.
I can’t forget shampoo and soap,
That’s all my shopping for today…
Written by
Gail Debole
Categories:
funny, humorous, silly,
Bogo Shopping Coup
Written by Gail DeBole
on May 11, 2017
“Buy One, Get One,” said the sign.
I ran to get them first.
Four of them would be mine.
I opened up my purse.
And just some minutes later.
I had paid for only two.
No feeling any greater
Than a BOGO shopping coup.
But later after leaving
I became quite self-amused.
It was hard believing
My coup was four men’s left shoes.
Written by
Anais Vionet
Categories:
11th grade, boyfriend, environment, funny love, high school, humor, teen,
Shopping Lists
*(a poem in Senryus)*
You don’t have to count,
when you lose a boyfriend, you
know. There was just one.
He was gone before
I knew it - he wasn’t, you know,
tied up or anything.
For a moment I
toy with saying, “Alexa, add
rope to my shopping list."
In High School boyfriends
come and go - it's like shopping
- where you return things.
Written by
Michelle Faulkner
Categories:
funny, giggle, girl, nonsense,
The Shopping Queen
There was a young lady from Wales
With an eye for bargains and sales
All discounts she would scoff
'til 50 percent off
Then profit from all the resales!
Written by
Kim Rodrigues
Categories:
humor,
Window Shopping At the Gym
WINDOW SHOPPING AT THE GYM
pomp flex
smooched pecs
glass necks
slaked sex
stocked Adonis pomp flex smooched pecs wink
gym’s monstrous blown glass necks, slaked sex drink
5/7/2017
Tyburn Form
Humor
Written by
Sara Kendrick
Categories:
funny, imagination, life,
Grandma Shopping
Discount strip mall far away
One store in mind to search yea
A shoe store that has real styles
Get lost there awhile
Up and down rows more rows_shoes
Danity, fancy, delicate_choose
One catches eye_stilettoes
Try maybe safely
One pair with those high high heels
Sit down slip one on sit still
Lovely shoes beauty to see
Stand up fall on knees
Dodoitsu is suppose to be either about love or humorous
I hope this one gives you a chuckle...
Had written for Linda-Marie's contest
but realized I had left the most important part out..
Written by
Vermillion Scythe
Categories:
car, funny, humor, humorous,
Blue Car Shopping Cart
The blue car right there
looks just like a shopping cart
I love plastic pies
Written by
Subimal Sinha-Roy
Categories:
christmas, humorous, tree,
Christmas Shopping Spree
This old lady bought a big Christmas tree
Size could be a problem she didn’t foresee
In the room she couldn’t take it
On the lawn she let it sit
She was out of mind while on shopping spree.
__________________
November 27, 2022
Syllable count : 10 10 7 7 10 (HMS)
Rhyme checked with rhymezone.com
Contest : A Funny Christmas Or December Holiday Limerick
Sponsored by : Tania Kitchin
Written by
James Foulk
Categories:
funny
Shopping Malls
Shopping malls, where
people gather,
shop, then go
crazy.
wrote 9-9-08
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
clothes, fantasy, giggle,
The Potus Went Shopping
Wearing just mask, gloves and a Yankees cap
The POTUS went shopping, caused quite a flap
Bought himself a small gift
Ever practicing thrift ~
A teeny-weeny bikini, sans straps
Written by
Carol Mitra
Categories:
funny,
Shopping With Ruby
I spent my day shopping with Ruby
I find her an absolute pain
We walked into a chain store
And she bumped into an old flame.
Wayne was a chatter box from Spain
He followed Ruby around the store
And jumbled up my name
That really got my goat, and drove me insane.
Ruby ran from lane to lane exclaiming his name
She bumped into a trolley and her foot had a sprain
With support from the old flame and me
The whole day turned out to be a drain.
She insisted she carry on shopping
As she said there was no one to blame
We grew tired of being her crutch
This was going to be a long day, what a shame.
Written by
Tania Kitchin
Categories:
humor,
Holiday Shopping
Pam wore shoes that gave her a six-inch lift
While out shopping for a holiday gift
Carrying the dishes she found,
breaking, as she fell to the ground
Now she knew wearing heels was not too swift!
Written by
Liz Archer
Categories:
fun, funny, poems, poetry, uplifting,
Shopping Slots
I logged on the world wide web today
I tried ocado, it said go away!
I went to Waitrose and Tesco too
I had to wait so long
that I went to the loo
I came back
and had a snack
and watched the queue go down
eventually I got on to Asda
I booked a delivery slot
and loaded my trolley
by the time I checked out
I felt rather jolly!
(I wrote this one a good year ago!)
Written by
L Milton Hankins
Categories:
anxiety, christmas, giving, humor,
Last Minute Shopping
Cars are bustlin’ and people are hustlin’,
The avenues are backed up with shoppers
Last minute hunters are getting frantic,
Christmas Eve comes on Friday of this week
One must come prepared for all the panic,
As Impulse buying is on the increase
With buyers getting more and more frantic,
The hubbub will last for another week
The helter-skelter probably won’t stop
And, I’m not going to last-minute shop!
written December 22, 2021
[pardon me, but I took some liberties
with the rhyme for a traditional dizain]
Written by
Kurtis Scott Aka Curtis Futch Jr
Categories:
adventure, education, funny, money,
Shopping Cart Can Man
its money some think it funny
to see this man
withhis hands
picking up cans
well its money honey
its in plan
SHOPPING CART CAN MAN
Written by
Subimal Sinha-Roy
Categories:
humorous,
Shopping Spree
This old madam bought a big Christmas tree,
size could be problem she did not foresee.
Low level door frame it hit,
on dewed lawn she let it sit.
She dodged mind’s radar while on shopping spree.
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
giving, humor, insect, stress, time,
Only Ten Shopping Days 'til the Locusts
Only ten shopping days ‘til the locusts arrive
What on earth should I buy them
I’ve scoured the stores, and what’s more
Amazon, Tik-Tok and E-bay
But ‘gifts for locusts’ brings up very few items
so I’m conducting a mini-plebiscitum
Asking cockroaches, spiders and scorpions
if I should text ‘em or a love poem write ‘em