Humorous and funny Sexy poems and/or funny poems about Sexy. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Sexy funny poems!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
farm, humorous, sexy,
Mary In the Dairy
A curvaceous lady named Mary
Just loved having sex in the dairy
When smothered with whipped cream
Her beau would lick her clean…
His Calorie intake was scary!!!
14th June 2016
Written by
Skat A
Categories:
fantasy, funny,
Sexy Who'
"Sexy Who"
*Summer*
sand, oozing through toes
water down my swimsuit piece
how I love the sun
*Summer*
new sun-rays run my soul
wind swims around my pale skin
sunburn, ouch!
*Dizzy*
strong & Long Lasting
The Viagra moment fades
power by the sun
*Jerk Around*
secret moment
Vixen photos of my youth
rock hard & bigger
~SKAT~
Written by
Jerry T Curtis
Categories:
food, funny, humorous, nonsense, romance, sexy, silly,
A Fine Flavor Between Lines
Is it Love
a simple bowl of ice cream
sweating from the heat
cherries on the top
huddled 'round and looking sweet
two little wooden paddles
pretend that they are spoons
as we sit beneath the stars
in the savor of the moon
your lips are all I see
as they caress them with a passion
the cherries on your tongue
in a delightful playful fashion
with our eyes intent and focused
in a stare of solemn trust
Is this ice cream truly love
or is it merely cherry lust
Written by
Verlena S. Walker
Categories:
freedom, funny, sexy, teacher, technology, teen, teenage, together, vanity,
Having Sex - Footle
buck wild
rodeo style
_______________________|
PENNED ON AUGUST 14, 2014!
Written by
Cecilia Macfarlane
Categories:
friendship, funny, halloween,
Sexy Nun
Sister, sister sitting there so sweet
Looking so virtuous, acting discreet.
Any male would eagerly bow at your feet
You have no idea of your allure, you're without conceit
Are you offering up a trick or a treat?
Only then will this Halloween finally be complete
Ready your answers to God when you do meet
For nuns of your stature are becoming obsolete!
For my girlfriend who dressed up as a sexy nun.
Written by
Richard Lamoureux
Categories:
cute love, funny, longing, sexy,
Mama Warned Her
She expected very little from the guy
A lesson she had learned long ago
Guys are after just one thing
It always started
With just one
Kiss
Then look out
For wandering hands
He would unbutton her top
Then next he would remove her brasier
She was so excited...she could hardly wait !
Non Rhyming version of Andrea's new form.
Written by
Rob Carmack
Categories:
giving, humor, humorous, lust, passion, sexy, tribute,
Spitters Are Quitters
Always salty and usually bitter
help encourage the spitter —
still better than the wonts
and those dreaded donts —
saved by the tolerable quitter.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Written: 05.08.21
Contest: Quitters Never Win
Sponsor: Margarita Lillico
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, poems, sexy,
Bawdy Titillating Titles - Inspired By But Not For Contest
Dirty old man
In the mood …
She's feelin hot hot hot
fancy a quickie?
Cross dressing
Lingerie
We should have seen the signs
What can go wrong when wearing a thong
Long and hard
What a whopper
Naked
Ecstasy
Wet dreams
moan moan moan
Hold on darling - I'm coming
This time YOU didn’t come second
Tell me why!
I was finding titles for Laura Loo’s contest and these are all original titles from some of my old poems…. I do worry about my muse!!
06-10-17
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
age, body, humorous,
Sexy Sue
Sue lies in her bed
boy she’s feeling HOT HOT HOT
dratted menopause!
04~08~17
Written by
Sebastian Aaron Baez
Categories:
humor, sexy,
Premature Interaction
freaky
free week to be kinky
touch me
feel me
fervently
frequently
finger suck my pinkie
super freaky
superbly kinky
slowly
seductively
touch me
feel me
fervently
frequently
finger suck my pinkie
creamy substance
oozing
from my twinkie
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
funny, giggle, humor, lust, passion, sexy, woman,
Jan's Halloween Dream
Jan's spouse said she's gilding the lilies
For treating herself to new frillies
All the neighbours got hot
When they saw what she bought
And that really gave Jan the willies!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
giggle, humorous, sexy,
Just a Gigolo
A young gigolo called Timothy
Gave sex for an exorbitant fee
But his passionate style
Sure made all ladies smile…
(I’m hoping that he’s got room for me!)
02~13~17
Written by
Anil Deo
Categories:
allusion, cheer up, fun, humor, sexy,
Adding Limerick: From Reply To April 2 Jan Allison's Wee Man
But Jan, is this a Limerick trick?
Your family, truly, has no Dick and no Rick ...
I could have sworn
Since I, too, had been born
my family had to have had one Mr. Dick!
(c)Deo.I could not bring myself to declare it as clearly last week. Now Good Friday gives way to naughty Saturday ... have at it. Shalom.Smile: Jesus is not a prude, but He does have standards (No adultery, for one. Have limericks though)
Written by
Mike Gentile
Categories:
fun, humor, humorous, men, sexy, woman,
Vi Agra
Her last name was Agra, I saw on the bar
My nerves told me, I wouldn’t get very far
But then I did spy
Her first name was Vi
I worried no more as we walked to my car
A name like Vi Agra can make a guy think
Or run like Niagara gone over the brink
But one thing’s for sure
She won’t be a bore
Le’s hope it’s not over before I can blink!
Written by
L Milton Hankins
Categories:
humorous, sensual, sexy,
She Was a Flirt - Bawdy
A pretty winsome lady from Troy
Liked a remarkably handsome boy
She started to flirt,
By lifting her skirt
So he showed his retractable toy.
May 30, 2021
Written by
Deb Wilson
Categories:
funny, garden, sexy,
The Cougar With the Green Thumb
There once was a cougar named Rose
who kept the young men on their toes.
Working in her garden
they'd say "beg your pardon
I'll bet you could use a good hose!"
for Bawdy Limericks Two contest
sponsored by Roy Jerden
Written by
Volodymyr Knyr
Categories:
body, humorous, people, relationship, sexy, woman, women,
A Skin Peel
The thorougher the skin peel,
the stronger the sex apeal.
Volodymyr Knyr
2014
Written by
Robert Candler
Categories:
angel, beauty, blue, body, cute love, desire, feelings, giggle, girl, hello, hope, humorous, lust, relationship, romance, sexy, song, sweet, together, uplifting, woman,
Please Help Me, Re-Lyric
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
You're just so damn sexy,
That's why I'm hittin' on you.
You don't have to love me,
Some good sex will do.
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
Yes, you turned me on
When I saw you walk in...
The face of an Angel,
A body just made for Sin.
Now, I may be real horny,
But one thing is true:
What would satisfy me, Girl
Would be to satisfy You.
So please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You;
And I hope that you're fallin'
In Lust with me too;
But if not, then please fake it,
Please don't leave me "blue"...
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
Written by
Robert Candler
Categories:
confusion, home, humorous, husband, marriage, sexy, wife,
Quandary - a Husband's Haiku
The dishes are done,
Kids are asleep and dreaming.
Want to watch T.V.?
Privacy at last.
The kids will not disturb us.
Want to hug and smooch?
The dishes are done.
No one will disturb us, but
She's got a headache.
Whatever I did,
It must have been bad, because
She keeps saying, "No."
Written by
Reginald Telemacque
Categories:
hilarious, horse, metaphor, race, sexy, sports, word play,
Horse Racing
She opened her legs then hopped up on it
She gripped it tight then sat down on it
He started to move so she began to ride it
She loved the feeling cuz she enjoyed it
She pulled out the whip to show that she was master
And when she swung it he began to go faster
She started to scream at the top of her voice
For the way he made her feel her voice got so hoarse
After a thirty minute run he started to tire
For this horse was no longer young he was ready to retire
Written by
Shane Cooper
Categories:
funny, husband, mom, sexy,
A Night Without the Kids
Yummy
Mummy
Chubby
Hubby
Jumping
Pumping
Moaning
Groaning
Huffing
Puffing
******
Sarcasm
Wants more
Loud snore
Written by
Flora Mae Gudez
Categories:
creation, high school, hilarious, humorous, my children, sexy, woman,
Behind the Selfies
I have a very brief confession
that I have to make.
It's about the selfies
and it'll make you break.
I only wear glamorous tops
during my homemade shots,
Since bottoms aren't seen
And only the face is on screen.
I give all my efforts
In putting some makeups
Just to look pretty on my selfie
And wrote on it -- hashtag no makeup.
I put on my lipsticks
And do the sexy duck face,
Then captioned the output with bible quotes
Though it doesn't relate.
Mom wondered
Why I locked myself in my room.
Oh please, I was just doing a selfie
and surprisingly came out well groomed.
Written by
Rob Carter
Categories:
humor, humorous, love,
Sexy Redhead
Daphne, I love you
in your purple dress
You're my favourite of the gang
to that I must confess
Your blonde friend just makes traps
and the brainy one is nerdy
The canine and the skinny one
eat huge burgers quite insanely
Your role is kind of quirky
but you're prettier than the others
I don't know who to thank for that
perhaps the animators
Written by
James Fraser
Categories:
appreciation, for her, funny, humor, life, sexy, work,
Advice Adviser
I'm retired but do I still have a life
Yes, sexual adviser I am to my wife
But if I say try this
It'll be totally bliss
If I desire I'll ask for your advice
.
Challenged to write on the back of a Joke!
Written by
Volodymyr Knyr
Categories:
animal, humorous, men, people, poverty, relationship, sexy,
The Poor
He's poorer, who rapes
poor apes.
Volodymyr Knyr
2014