Humorous and funny Santa poems and/or funny poems about Santa. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Santa funny poems!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous,
Santa Claus Clerihew 2
In the chimney Santa got stuck
Sorry kids you’re out of luck
Guess you’re going to have to wait
Till Santa is thin and loses some weight
Jan Allison
4th December 2014
Not for Contest
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous,
Santa Claus
Poor fat old Santa Claus
Had smelly grey dirty drawers
His wife boiled them in the wash
They’re baggy now, so his balls don’t squash
12~04~14
Contest: Christmas Clerihew
Sponsor: Andrea Dietrich
~awarded 2nd place
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous,
Santa Is Coming
Santa comes but once a year
Impotence his greatest fear
He fills up his sack
Slings it on his back
Hope he wont drop his load here
Mrs Claus was in great distress
She wants sex she does confess
Santa saw his GP
Saying please help me
We need to sort out this mess
The doc prescribed some blue pills
They cured Santa of his ills
Now back in the sack
Not flat on their back
Now they are getting their thrills
11~22~14
Contest: What’s up with Santa
Sponsor Jerry Curtis
Written by
Kash Poet
Categories:
funny,
Santa With Running Nose
Santa's red cap is turning blue
his nose running with Christmas flu
and the Doctor's advice
was "it will be nice,
wrap the gifts with natural glue."
Written by
L Milton Hankins
Categories:
childhood, christmas, humorous,
Atlanta Santa
imagine me
upon his knee
a little child so meek and mild
thrilled to visit our dear Santa
in the heart of old Atlanta
such a precocious little child
thrilled to visit our dear Santa
in southern Georgia warm and wild
not in the least my mind beguiled
in the heart of old Atlanta
imagine me
thrilled to visit our dear Santa
a little child so meek and mild
in southern Georgia warm and wild
upon his knee
upon his knee
imagine me
THIRD PLACE WINNER
written December 1, 2021
for "Meditative Ballad" poetry contest
sponsored by Emile Pinet
syllables checked by HMS
rhymes check with Rhymezone.com
Written by
Paula Goldsmith
Categories:
fun, giggle, travel, uplifting, water, world, youth,
Santa Got Stranded in Florida - POTD
Santa and reindeer's were very tired,
they had one more area left to do.
This last place was very big,
it's name was Florida.
They must come in over land,
hitting the water they will make a huge splash.
Rudolph must see the tall lighthouse,
a bright light lighting their way.
It was a hard landing on the sand,
the sled broke.
Sunny Florida with warm temperatures,
a great place for Santa to be stranded.
Written by
Seren Roberts
Categories:
humor,
Santa Sleeps
Santa snores
Chin bobbing
Teeth whistling
Elves laughing
At the sight
Rudolf snorts
Awakened
By the noise
In bad mood
Contest sponsored by Charles Messina
Charlieku 3-3-3 contest
Penned 16/12/2018
Written by
I Am Anaya
Categories:
humor,
Santa Superhero
Santa’s a superhero thanks to Sienna
She’s made a Marvel with her old school penna
So let’s not stop with Putin
When it’s Trump we’ll be bootin
Next elections, he and his orange henna
Santa in red tights and a fur lined cape
His new Marvel powers no villain can escape
Trump, don't mess with the jolly man
He'll kick your orangutang can
And leave you but an empty shell of an ape
Written by
Subimal Sinha-Roy
Categories:
child, christmas, humorous,
Santa and Christmas Tree
My small grandson heard friends say in fun spree,
Santa can change to what he wants to be.
He asked me, face worried stiff-
who would bring him his gifts if,
Santa decides to become Christmas tree.
November 23, 2019
Syllable count : 10/10/7/7/10
Checked in howmanysyllables.com
Contest : Holiday Themed Limerick
Sponsor : Tania Kitchin
Written by
Curtis Moorman
Categories:
funny,
Santa Claus
Santa Claus, should he really exist
Would have every Soupers name on his list
He'd make sure none of us were miffed
And provide for each a special gift
Written by
Arlene Smith
Categories:
christmas, funny, silly,
Santa Clause
On Cristmas Eve, comes Santa Clause,
stuffing tons of cookies in his jaws.
It's no wonder he's Jolly and fat;
I would be too, if I ate like that.
Written by
Anne-Lise Andresen
Categories:
funny, truth,
- Santa Claus In November -
Already now begins Santa to receive many Christmas wishes
10286 letters arrived in his mailbox today ....
Oh ... so many to read - poor old man
Do you still believe in Santa Claus ..... I hope you do
If or when you stop believing in Santa Claus .....
will your Christmas gifts only include wool socks or underwear
12.11.2013
A-L Andresen :)
Written by
Sandra Haight
Categories:
christmas, funny,
What's Up With Santa
He arrives at the party tonight
In his outfit of red, black, and white
Turns to skinny- not round
Pillows fall to the ground!
Ho-Ho Santa, now a Ha-Ha sight!
Written by
Mazhar Butt
Categories:
assonance, character, funny, humor, smile,
Santa
As thin as a thistle Santa in chimney got stuck
In the passage heavily blocked by years of muck
struggling through the soot
Santa fell down like a coot
And came out looking like a dark fancy duck.
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
christmas, food, humor,
Watch Your Diet, Santa
On his annual flight about the earth,
Santa continues to expand his girth!
'Tis due to cookies and milk,
And other treats of that ilk,
That he samples from Botswana to Perth!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
Written by
Trevor Mcleod
Categories:
angst, children, funny, holiday, me,
I Do Believe In Santa Claus
I do believe in Santa Claus.
Although I'm scared he'll see my flaws.
I think he knows I pick my nose
and play with jam between my toes.
He probably knows I bite my nails
and burp and fart to no avails'
But what I know for sure is strange.
That I am stubborn and will not change.
I do believe in Santa Claus
who sees me when I'm sleeping.
And hide beneath my pillow
when I think that he is peeking.
I know I've made the naughty list
and even changed my name.
Unless he knows my old address
and holds me to my shame.
I do believe in Santa Claus...
but I am cautious just the same.
Written by
Katherine Stella
Categories:
funny, seasons, visionary,
That Sneaky Santa {alliteration}
Sexy Sally saw Santa sneaking snacks
Cakes cookies coke cola cold cuts
Belly bouncing busting buttons badly
Flop flop Fizz fizz feeling full
looking like lazy lounge lizard
T.V. televised the terrible truth that
man made mistake mocking magic
while watching wild woman wander
Happy Holidays To All
HO HO HO LOL
Written by
Sara Kendrick
Categories:
funny, baby, baby, candy, me,
Santa Baby
Santa Baby won't you give me some candy tonight
Santa Baby won't you let sit on your lap snuggle
Up close and kiss goodnight
Santa Baby I need some Christmas lovin' you see
Santa Baby how neat that you came in a box
Spruced up just for me..
Santa Baby won't you give me some candy tonight...
Nite Nite....
In honor of Carolyn..
You know..
Written by
Paula Goldsmith
Categories:
christmas, easter, humor, money,
Mr and Mrs Santa
Why was Santa dressed like the Easter bunny, he wanted to run away with his honey. Mrs. Claus had a red nose that was funny, when she took off with the money.
Date Written: 12/22/2021
5 Place
A Funny Christmas Themed 4 liner Contest
Sponsored by: Tania Kitchin
Written by
Rhoda Tripp
Categories:
animal, christmas, funny, holiday, humor, humorous, kid,
Dear Santa, I Want
Dear Santa, I want a guinea pig,
One that can handle his sup.
I'd like one that can overeat,
And doesn't sleep belly up.
And, Dear Santa, our toilet won't flush,
It's really quite a wonder,
So could you bring for my mom,
A brand new toilet plunger?
Written 12/3/17
Contest: Dear Santa, I want...
Hosted by Kevin Shaw
Written by
Charles Messina
Categories:
humorous,
Oh No - Santa Got Mucked
The stars and the moon...glowing bright
Poor Santa...had lost his eyesight
Had a bit of bad luck
When he stepped into muck
Before, he took off...at midnight
The outhouse door...swinging ajar
His glasses, left home...on the bar
So, the reindeer won't sleigh
Because, he smells...that way
So Santa, drove home...in his car
Christmas Limerick (new or old) Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Carolyn Devonshire
Syllable count (88668) - (88668)
Written by
Wren Rushing
Categories:
christmas, humor,
Santa Made the Naughty List
Santa used our bathroom Christmas Eve.
And oh the Yule log did he leave.
Being in a rush,
he did not proper flush.
I believe it was the worst gift I received.
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
christmas, health, humorous, satire,
Bad Santa
Bad Santa won’t wear safety clothing
so the reindeer will not pull his sleigh
They ignore him and treat him with loathing
since he’s refusing to work Christmas Day
I think parents across the whole nation
should all take naughty Santa to task
His behaviour has caused aggravation
he should be wearing his gloves and a mask
News from the Elf and Safety advisor
is that as Santa’s brushed off good hygiene
He must be immunised by “Pfizer”
to protect him from Covid Nineteen!
Christmas Rhyme only 8 - 12 lines - Premium Prize Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin
12/22/20
Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
funny, holidaytime,
Santa Scrooge
(an oldie "light" sonnet)
The Santa that I know is not so nice.
If there's a gift I tell him that I'd like,
he only will complain about the price,
and when December comes, he goes on strike!
For Santa is no sweet and jolly gent.
For instance, when it's time to do the tree,
he hates to have to bring it from the basement;
I trim it then without the grumble-bee.
It hurts my back to put up outside lights,
But I don't bother my "dear" Claus for that.
And so our house stands naked through the nights
of Christmas time ‘cause Santa is a rat!
My Santa Baby's great at subterfuge.
So ho, ho, ho for me. I married Scrooge!
Written by
Tom Cunningham
Categories:
humor,
Santa Tries It On
Ol' Claus was drunk from strong bourbon whiskey
Then touched Rudolph and tried to get frisky
Rudolph said no way
Us deer's are not gay
And placed a hoof print on his fat hiney...
Written 14th of December 2021
I Need a Good Laugh: XMAS LIMERICK CONTEST
Sponsored by Andrea Dietrich