Humorous and funny Red poems and/or funny poems about Red. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Red funny poems!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, valentines day, roses are red,
My Funny Valentine
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I’m up for a quickie
Do you fancy one too?
13th February 2015
Written by
P.S. Awtry
Categories:
goodbye, humor, moving on, red,
Red-Dress-Fabulous Goodbye
Oh no! What are YOU doing here?
I haven’t seen you in a year!
But I’m sure it’s perfectly clear,
I’m still red-dress fabulous, Dear!
You thought you could steal my spotlight?
You sauntered in like it’s your right.
But now you know, it's no fair fight—
I’m red-dress fabulous, tonight!
Surely you see, it’s my parade!
You’ve been upstaged. You’ve been out played!
And now your welcome’s been overstayed,
there in my red-dress-fabulous shade!
It's getting late and you should fly-
I bid you, red-dress-fabulous Good-bye!
January 15, 2019
Poem of the Day ~ January 17, 2019
Written by
John Beharry
Categories:
bird, color, humor, red, sky, water,
Bird Poop In My Eye
Looking up into the sky
a bird pooped in my eye
as it was flying overhead
causing me to see red
It was warm and soggy
making me feel queasy
I scurried into the house
like an upset little mouse
I headed for the kitchen sink
and got there in a blink
Using the faucet spout
I tried to flush it out
When it was expelled
it had a funny smell
and the sink water
had a dirty colour
So when a bird is flying overhead
keep your head down instead
Do not look up into the sky
or you may get poop in your eye
Written by
Poet Destroyer A
Categories:
addiction, art, funny,
Red Bull
~ADHD~
Beautiful Coffee spree
Close your eyes and fell high like a tree
Nothing beats the sugar in my energy
I can't live my life caffeine free
Somebody stop me!!!!!
:)
Written by
Jackson Labaugh
Categories:
age, arabic, assonance, beach, bird, giggle, judgement,
Haiku For the Color Red
As heat bursts around,
silence lets me ponder on,
where I left my phone.
Written by
A.O. Taner
Categories:
beautiful, beauty, courage, cute love, dark, deep, depression, desire, destiny, devotion, dream, first love, funny love, grief, happiness, heart, heartbreak, heartbroken, how i feel, i am, i love you, i miss you, innocence, irony, jealousy, lonely, longing, loss, lost, love, love hurts, miss you, missing, missing you, night, passion, psychological, romance, romantic, sad, sad love, silence, sky, sleep, solitude, sunset, true love,
Red Light
have you ever felt like
the flashing red light on the roof,
lonely as ever
visible at night, useless by day?
in sync with its partner next door
for a quick kiss over a few flashes only
then arguing again and again
night in, night out.
have you ever felt like
the flashing red light on the roof,
not signaling a warning to keep away
but sending a call for compassion?
using the dark pauses in between
to yell the same name
over and over and over
into the emptiness of each night.
have you ever felt like
the flashing red light on the roof,
being your silent cry
only heard by your eternal love?
Written by
Valerie Bellefleur
Categories:
funny, roses are red,
Valentine Rejection
Roses are red and pink and yellow
Go find yourself another fellow
You promised you'd lose a ton of weight
By February of 2008
I don't want a gal in a size forty dress
If I wanted a monster, I'd visit Loch Ness
So very good wishes on this Cupid's Day
Go look for a guy who cares not what you weigh
Written by
The Grahamburglar
Categories:
color, fun, funny, insect, nature, red, silly,
The Streaker
I peeked under a clover flower
and saw a ladybug in the shower
She turned bright red across her shell
and in her wrath began to yell.
Although her rage was crystal clear,
her voice was just too soft to hear
so I got closer to the ground
in hopes that I could hear the sound
and understand her tiny scream,
which swirled in the shower steam.
As I got close to listen hard
she jumped and flew across the yard.
But she was wet, and in a hurry
and somehow in the crazy flurry…
I think she simply just forgot,
she wasn’t wearing a single spot!
Written by
George Aul
Categories:
humor,
Red Light
Love is never having to say, "My dearest, slow down on the chocolates!"
For "Roses are Red - One Liner" contest by Alexis Y.
Written by
Poet Destroyer A
Categories:
funny, nature, roses are red,
Roses For You-
Roses for you!
**
petals all over
sexy, sexy as can be
press the flesh tonight
**
my roses are black,
did I forget the water
dry flower bed!!
**
my roses are red,
give me a kiss, sweet as you
potion pucker lips
**
flowers for the dead
roses running through my head
zombies are blue.
**
ouch! ouch! prickly thorns
rose blood, falling all around,
snake under my bed
**
I did not mean it
I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!
here have 2 roses
**
baby bash, ice cream
only In America
roses in demand
by;pd
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
humorous, military,
How the Red Baron Met His Doom
Alas, the famed Red Baron bit the dust.
His last flight in his Fokker was a bust.
Some thought Snoopy shot him down,
But t'was a dude named Roy Brown,
Leaving Charlie Brown and his friends nonplussed!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved
NOTE: There is controversy to this very day about who and how the
Red Baron actually died. Canadian pilot Roy Brown claimed he shot
him down but there is some evidence that he may have been hit by a
rifleman from the ground. Here's hoping this will keep you awake at
night worrying about it!!!
Written by
Lawrence Ingle
Categories:
funny,
Redneck Red Rhyme
RED ON THE HEAD,
LIKE A WEENIE ON A DOG,
LIKE A NOODLE ON A POODLE,
LIKE KETCHUP ON A LOG,
Written by
Ngoc Nguyen
Categories:
humor, love, romance, wisdom, women, youth,
Lavender and Lovely, Red Roses
Like lavender and lovely, red roses,
they’re meant for your immaculate sweethearts
and their fine, little, delicate noses;
not to damage the most sensitive parts,
or overwhelm the olfactory senses,
bedaub with the finesse of the fine arts,
as love’s a game of great consequences.
Lovers choose on the mere whiff of a scent;
so smell good, or lead to major offenses.
Too much perfume is wholly unpleasant:
a little hint on the neck and the wrist
is enough to smell attractively fragrant;
then don’t offend like a face striking your fist,
if you heed these lines you'll get the main gist.
Written by
Khaleel Graham
Categories:
funny, red,
Anger
A man turned red with rage,
He was going through an angry stage,
He saw a black man named Ray,
Get hung by the KKK,
And he just had to flip the page
A man turned red with rage,
He was going through an angry stage,
He saw a Jew named Joshy,
Get killed by a Nazi,
Then he just had to turn the page
Then he saw a Japanese man named Sukai,
So he thought this page was okay,
Then he saw a plant go boom,
And everyone went zoom,
So he just had to throw the book away
Written by
Elton Camp
Categories:
humor,
The Red-Faced Sunday School Teacher
The Red-Faced Sunday School Teacher
By Elton Camp
The Sunday school lesson she must teach
Jesus to Lazarus inside his tomb did reach
About the great love it did take
From death his friend to awake
So to be sure to reach the childish heart
A question asked prior to the lesson start
“Who can tell what “resurrection” does mean?
A little girl to answer seemed to be very keen
“I’m not exactly sure, but I know one main thing.
If it lasts more than four hours, to a doc you bring.”
The teacher stammered and her face turned red
She was unable to reply to what the child said
From the room, she carefully slipped away
“As teacher I resign,” to the pastor she did say
Written by
Katherine Stella
Categories:
adventure, black african american, childhood, dedication, family, fantasy, children, funny, history, imagination, inspirational, life, passion, people, seasons, thank you, uplifting, visionaryhalloween, red,
My Boo
< halloween haunting's
black shoe polish foundation
ruby red lipstick
pillow stuffed under big dress
red white bandana for hair
spatula in hand
eggbeater in dress pocket
pillowcase for loot
daddy's boots causing blisters
aunt jemima memories
Entry For
Paula Sweanson's
Halloween Of Tears Past
GL AL
Tribute To Childhood Memories
Written by
Gerard Keogh Jr.
Categories:
anniversary, confusion, funny, places
Red Cheeks. ( Both Sets.)
After tossing back too many shots,
My tummy got tied up in knots.
But the outhouse fell down,
now a king with no crown,
I cover up where I must: "Thank You Scotts'!"
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
earth, earth day, funny, humor,
The Next Red Hot Real Estate Market
Earth's death seems to be in our stars
End comes from the greed planet's scars
But the rich have reach
And will visit the beach
Near estates they've purchased on Mars
Written by
Cona Adams
Categories:
bird, humor,
Red Robin
With scarlet breasts
and charcoal backs
they came today
like jumping jacks
and brought our lawn alive.
They passed on by
the seed in place
plus water bath
to pace their chase
in groups of four or five.
I watch one hop
through still-green grass
ignoring me
on every pass
to bob head for his food.
That oil-well bob
to pull with beak
the hapless worm
into his cheek
is uncommonly rude.
Written by
Allié-Marie Smith
Categories:
food, funny, roses are red,
Cookie
Roses are red,
Violets are pleasant.
You're getting a cookie
Instead of a present.
Written by
Samantha-Jane Smith
Categories:
funny, roses are red,
How I Would Make a Sweet Revenge Poem
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
What the h***
Happened to you?
Written by
Sonia Walker
Categories:
humorous,
I Wore My Red Scarf Today
I wore my red scarf today,
feeling sassy and full of play,
I am the epitome of a drama queen,
wherever I am there is always a scene
as I walk down the street foxy and lean.
Written by
Peter Dome
Categories:
animal, creation, garden, humor, insect, nature,
Red Bug
Red bug
*spotted *
on leaf.
Lady bug.
Peter Dome.copyright.2013.Dec.
Written by
William Robinson
Categories:
animals, children, funny, people, red,
****-A-Doodle-Ooo
A noisy, Rhode Island Red rooster
Awoke, from his dreams, Simon Schuster.
Simon got mad as heck
And adjusted Red's neck.
Now Red doesn't crow like he uster.
Written by
Allié-Marie Smith
Categories:
funny, roses are red,
Poor Horse
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Horses that lose races
Are turned into glue