Funny Prose Poetry Poems - Funny Poems for Life

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Humorous and funny Prose Poetry poems and/or funny poems about Prose Poetry. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Prose Poetry funny poems!

Written by Robert Warlov
Categories: humor, irony, poetry, satire,

Main Street Laureate

(On the state of American Poetry-  A Non-Poem Poem )




I'm Poet Laureate Of Main Street.
They voted.  I won.

' came down to me and the kid whose dog craps on everyone's lawns.

His poem was about a missing red crayon; mine: the stop-sign someone stole from the corner of Elm and Main (I think I know who did it too).

Is it coincident both poems are about loss? 
Probably not. Poetry is at it's best when expressing loss.

He'll probably win the position back next year with a weepy poem about not having been chosen Poet Laureate Of Main Street.

That's fine with me, as long as he keeps that damn dog in his own yard.

Written by Liz Walsh
Categories: funny

To Be Silly With-

I would love to swim to the 'Guilamine' in the skin
Or dance on a carpet of sheer pleasure
I might like an ice-cream cone on the way
Topped with pink and golden treasure.
I would enjoy a drink made of sparkles
That might light up with yellow-red magic
My dreary grey-blue life – and then
I would anticipate with joy an umbrella
Made of silk and maidenhair fern
To be silly with –

Written by Stan Bradford
Categories: animals, funny, nature,

Who

I stepped out on my lawn tonight
To catch a breath or two
Of cool night air when with a blare
An Owl questioned "Who?".

"Well, it is I", was my reply
"And now, just who are you?"
Then in a short he did report 
Again with that same "Who". 

"You", I said, "Is who", I said
With some authority
"Now who are thee, up in that tree?"
And "Who" again said he. 

"Oh! Now I see, when uttered thee
From high up in that tree
'Who' was thy introduction
And not a question be. 

So, Who is you and I am me. 
I'm glad we talked this out. 
Come again my feathered friend
You're welcome here about."

Written by Kj Force
Categories: bird, food, holiday, humor, thanksgiving,

Paying the High Price of Gas

I feel a blockage has occurred...
It must have been all that stuffing and Turkey bird...
The gurgles, the rumbling, the passing of gas...
It’s beyond my control ,Oh dear, please let this pass...
We have guests you see...
So I don’t have the privilege to just get up and flee...
No one should ever be in this state...
And I should never have put so much on my plate... 
Cause now I’m paying and to my demise ...
The rite of passage has been denied...
I feel like I may blow up and explode...
It’s times like this when you miss the commode...

Written by John Lawless
Categories: god, humor, religion,

Oh My God

OH MY GOD!!!

Assemble all the gods we’ve built,
stand them in a line, then walk along
the corridor and ponder which is yours,
which is mine?  Dragons, stoics, satyrs,
saints, all stony faced with colored paints.
Some in regal pompous robes others missing
all their clothes.  Fierce and sullen, sour faced
one look to put you in your place, kind and
gentle, bended knee promising to set you free.
Ogre sneers on giant cats, fat and sassy spoiled brats.
These are the gods we have created.
Thank God they never met - and mated.


John G. Lawless

Written by Caren Krutsinger
Categories: food, funny, humor, humorous, husband, wife,

The Affair

“I think I’ll go out,” the husband said.
The wife let it slide for about a half hour.
Then she asked, “Where are you going?”
There was no reply, so she walked into the living room.
Immediately knowing. 

He had sneaked out, being careful to make no noise with the latch.
She knew what that meant.
She had him on a strict diet, and a locater application.
She got on her phone and looked at it.  
Immediately knowing.

As she suspected he was at the Donut Deli down the road
No doubt eating the things he was never supposed to eat.
He had had so many affairs with sweet, fried things.  
She got on her coat, determined to stop him.
Immediately knowing.

Written by Patricia Mitchell
Categories: funny,

Hot Tea

Hot Tea

Must be the aroma
The smell of my tea
Peach, Berry or Green
No caffeine for me
I drink to unwind
To sit and release
To calm myself down
To set my mind free
Someday to snuggle
My big cup and me
To savor the day
To sit under a tree
To read a good book
To write a love poem
A sip from my cup
Hot tea is the bomb

Patricia Mitchell-Nunn

Written by Alexis Karpouzos
Categories: dream, feelings, humorous, inspirational love, magic, soulmate, universe,

Where Is the Magic - Alexis Karpouzos

Where is the magic?
We all start out knowing magic. 
We are born with hurricanes 
and whirlwinds, oceans 
and galaxies inside us.
We are able to sing to birds 
and read the clouds 
and see the destiny 
in grains of sand.
But we have forgotten the magic 
and we feel without compass, 
alone and desperately, 
only selfishness, only pain, 
fear and darkness.
But, magic of love has never 
disappeared from the life, 
the love hold the life.

Written by Gerald Dillenbeck
Categories: books, humor, political,

Anna Karenina

Anna Karenina, by Leo Tolstoy,
approximately 800 redundant pages
of Kafkaesque scoffing
at relentless banalities of economic and political elitists.

Rather like transcribing often inebriated conversations
within the all-night celebration scenes
of a Republican National Party Convention,

Or, sadly, a Democratic National Party Convention
only maybe about 400 condensed
impacted pages
with the remainder quite liberally
and anti-climatically inscrutable
as planned obsolescence
and well-organized chaos.

Written by Cj Krieger
Categories: funny, philosophy, sound, bird, bird, sound, sun,

Zen Buddhist Bird

A Buddhist bird flies 
Under the eyes 
Of winter’s sun 
As I watch his flight 
Across a lonely wintry sky 
Gazing up 
At his long, long flight south 

He diverts himself 
From the chilly northern wind 
A wind 
That the sun cannot warm 

He diverts himself 
With a single thought 
As only a Zen Buddhist bird might do 
And asks 

What is the sound 
Of one wing flapping? 
-------------------------------------------------------------------
"the sound of one hand clapping"...(by J. D. Salinger) Thank you Leo

Written by Jslambert Mister Roboto
Categories: art, funny, happiness, inspirational, life, on work and working, passion, philosophy, school, teen, uplifting,

Changed My Underwear,------- and My Name

I
change my name 
like 
underwear...
fairly often, I suppose

I 
change my clothes 
like 
area codes
and Imma' damn gypsy, ya' see

I 
keep it fresh ta' death
nada
speck of blood
or 
ketchup on my attire

I 
got more rhymes 
than I got grey hairs
and 
that's an effing lot
because i got my share

I 
digg a 
hot-fire piece of passionate verse
those are 
indeed 
rare to find

YET...
if  only poets would 
unleash the fury 
instead of 
holding back
what's really 
on their mind...

I must say...
the library, 
the internet, 
the etc. etc...
would be a less stinky place...
AND, maybe 
I'd keep my name, and sever ties with 
underwear's elastic,
and just go 
APE-Spit Spastic!~

Written by Terry Reeves
Categories: beautiful, business, cool, fishing, girl, humor, imagination,

Nails

My nails grow longer in the heat,
I like to keep them short, hands and feet,
pedicure and manicure by the girls in Phuket,
they give you more, full service and yet . . . .

I don't need my shoulders or head massaged,
there's a slap on the back as their fingers emerged,
nothing too intimate otherwise I might get ********,
the personal service should be my selection.

Now there's a mask on my face, an extra they say,
don't worry, it's free, you won't have to pay,
I'm not too keen on cucumber, peer over the edge,
shouldn't be so fussy, after all it's a privilege.

I walk out of the shop, spent my last Thai coin,
can't help but notice - there's a swelling in my groin.

Written by Vicki Acquah
Categories: baseball, humorous, parody,

Annoying Game

ANNOYING GAME

Annoying Game
Cheers
quite annoying
voices mutter
quiet chatter
huddled in confusion

Boring broadcasters
feigns excitement
children watching 
not so mellow drama

The curse preventing
Felix the cat's first act
more chatter accompanies 
horrible organ music.

Resounding cheers
Greeks speaks
plays called.
"he walks the bases "
on cleats.

Dinner is served
on T.V. trays
Uncle does not move
He sits on the throne 
commandeering black
and white screens
with rabbit ears.

I wait for the final cheers
Of the win, Yes, It’s over
or the Boo's for losers
Baseball, way to ruin
a child's summer.!

Written by Terence Msuku
Categories: humorous,

My Car

My Car
If my car had a mind of it's own
(Which I think it does sometimes)
It would honk its horn in horror
As the hoodlum disguised a mechanic
Attempted to open its hood
And visit ruthless abuse upon it
It would activate its alarm
Causing alarm and despondency
Its engine would roar menacingly and it
Would keep its hood firmly 'clenched'
Refusing to let this hoodlum lay
His dirty hands on it
Its lights would flash and its siren 
Would wail
Causing the mechanic to run off
In bewilderment unsure how to fix this 'problem'

Written by Randall Smith
Categories: happiness, giggle,

A Bright Smile

I have a bright smile
And my eyes do twinkle
it's so easy and fun.
to make people wonder
As to what I have done.

Laughter and quick wit 
I also possess,
So much pleasure I get
When a smile or a giggle 
I do coax.

Just giving some fun
On a Tuesday,
Some ones blues day
But not mine.

Written by Monty Newman
Categories: funny

I Hate Shopping

I hate shopping 
but when I go shopping
I know what I’m looking for
I go to the right store
I go to the right floor
I grab it 
they bag it
and I am out the door
Shopping is an awful chore

Written by Joe Maverick
Categories: funny

Gloopier Gloop

I was finding it ''hard myself to stir'' so with inspiration i did confer..

OH!..dang confound..its writers block! so what for an antidote.? i shall

add more stock..! an input of chros, with celer and cede indeed.! that will

really flux the plot i do (soupose:) now...then..verber the radix..when..!

plop..splat.. right!  in  my  eye.! a burning liquid alubi, oh.!bother this

stew will it ever be eytem.?..hold.on a juxta minute..! ceno cogn hibit

vert..! and it..it.. seems to go..! yess i sense more rhythm..with..that..that,

..soupy flow..!

copyright Joe Maverick 2012
amended 29th 2nd 2012

Written by Gerald Dillenbeck
Categories: environment, family, humor, science,

Nuclear Family Issues

Might we be having trouble fusing nuclear energy,
as opposed to the more troubling nuclear fission's anti-energy,
because nuclear fusion is just normal everyday Business As Usual
cooperation of thermodynamically fusing nuclei?

Oh, I see,
like it's easier to notice you're having another nice healthy day
after you experience the divisive holon-caustic implosive alternative?

Yes dear.
Like visiting my lovely mother
and not your dreaded mother-in-law.

Written by Kate Moore
Categories: funny,

Trojan Horse

Black and white, in a line

Some are heavy, some are fine

Changing, creeping, cunning

Smoothly, quickly, running

Some are found, some are not

Isn't safe- destroy the lot

 

Poem written about a manual DOS scan to find Trojan virus ;)

 
My  brain is literally just full of poetry. I mean who the hell writes a poem about a Trojan while their computer is scanning?? Me.

Written by Nastoshia Siedlecki
Categories: funny

Crazy Granny

Zooming down the road
Car running over a toad
Comes speeding granny
Complaining about some Danny
Blasting her music loud
Riding by flipping off a crowd
Grandma got that 16 age inside her
You never could be so sure
Why she's always cursing at a man
Or chasing somebody with that 
frying pan
We just know grandma got them 
kicks
Chilling with all those Hicks
Getting all her nails done
Bragging about a fight she won
Just know if she's headed your way
Better jump in that pile of hay
She's a wild child
Its crazy granny

Written by Jonathan Moya
Categories: beautiful, betrayal, engagement, funny love, girlfriend, goodbye, wedding,

Bride To Be

Oh sweet bride to be 
as the flowers bloom
you snuck to my room 
in hopes of a lustful spoon
Groom anxiously awaits
as your father opens the front gates
No one will comprehend our fate 
Face to face we engage
Stockings, undergarments and satin lace
on the floor they lay 
We embrace and grind away

Written by Jslambert Mister Roboto
Categories: confusion, funny, imagination, satire, teen

Oxymoron Newsflash:

"EARLY TONIGHT, according to HEAR SAY, things got PRETTY UGLY when a SINGLE GROUP of HELLS
ANGELS became SIMPLY IMPOSSIBLE to control during an ALL OUT MINOR CATASTROPHE at the
MICROSOFT WORKS sponsored MEXI-CALI JUMBO SHRIMP Festival“.


(in a strange way, this type of wishy-washy lingo reminds me of our lovely National news)