Humorous and funny Poop poems and/or funny poems about Poop. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Poop funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Poop Poems.
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
body, humorous,
My turds float like choc’late marshamallows
Just lurking about in the shallows
I guess that my butt
Is truly kaput
So doctor suggests bitter aloes
I questioned such treatment regime
Doc said it may keep my butt clean
Aloe on my finger
Won’t cause me to linger
And floaters will look like whipped cream
Doc chuckled and said “Listen here
Your floaters are nothing to fear”
Poop floats cos you’ve gas
Which is passed through your ***
No treatment’s required my dear.
DISCLAIMER - THIS IS NO REFLECTION ON THE STATE OF MY BOWELS JUST NEEDED A LITTLE LIGHTHEARTED RELIEF AFTER A VERY CHALLENGING WEEK
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
friendship, humorous, me, poetry, thanks, tribute,
I post my poems on poetry soup
About farting and guys with brewer’s droop
I’ve been given a crown
And I won’t let Flo down
Be assured I’ll keep on posting my poop!
Posted in conjunction with my blog about my amazing gifts from F J Thomas
25th January 2017
Poem Details | by
John Beharry |
Categories:
bird, color, humor, red, sky, water,
Looking up into the sky
a bird pooped in my eye
as it was flying overhead
causing me to see red
It was warm and soggy
making me feel queasy
I scurried into the house
like an upset little mouse
I headed for the kitchen sink
and got there in a blink
Using the faucet spout
I tried to flush it out
When it was expelled
it had a funny smell
and the sink water
had a dirty colour
So when a bird is flying overhead
keep your head down instead
Do not look up into the sky
or you may get poop in your eye
Poem Details | by
Anne-Lise Andresen |
Categories:
dog, fun, humor,
Behavior perfect
Deep cold snow how can she poop
My small dog Kissy
If my dog could talk
I try to understand her
She drown in the snow
18.01.2016
A-L Andresen :)
Poem Details | by
Kim Radcliff |
Categories:
funny,
Poop is a smelly thing
poop is far from clean
when I poop, I poop on the pot
when I poop, I poop a lot
It's big and brown and looks like gravy
gosh it feels like I just had a baby
It's runny and smooshy , and really gross
In my family, mine smells the most.
I think I'm finished
I think I'm done
oh my goodness
it's beginning to run
oh no, this won't be fun.
Wipe and flush, I'm on the run
to play outside in the sun.
But in the yard, hiding low
I think my dog had to go
dog poo on the ground
dog poo all around
dog poo is smelly too
dog poo is on my shoe.
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
humorous,
Imagine if our poop was a pretty pink
Or smelled like a dozen red roses
Beautiful music was heard when we tooted
There'd be no need for holding noses
We'd relish the thought of soiling our whites
To show off a new shade of pink
And proud to fart Ludwig's Fifth Symphony
While sitting on the throne by the sink
It can possibly be construed as a bit unusual
To be writing a poem about poop
But pink poop deserves special recognition
So let's all just let out a big whoop!
Imagine if our poop was a pretty pink
And smelled to high heaven of roses
We'd be so proud of our load of pink magic
There'd be no need for holding noses
© Jack Ellison 2013
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous, me, poetry,
I once knew a poet named Jan
She writes when sitting on the can
Some people here at soup
Think her poems are poop
Not everyone is a Jan fan!
Contest: Sensitive Community
Sponsor Skat (but a PD contest)
02~24~16
Poem Details | by
Rico Leffanta |
Categories:
humor,
A poet posted a verse on Soup
Receiving praise from those in the loop
But Vegemite spread
To Cunningham's dread
So Jan reported the latest poop
Poem Details | by
Jessica Wheeler |
Categories:
creation, daughter, fun, funny, humor, mother, sorry,
No pushing or breaking of water
It was a c-section that brought her
But this is about
What wouldn’t come out
A poop just as big as my daughter!
Perhaps it was pain medication
To clog up and cause constipation
Nurse said I must show
They won’t let me go
Till poop- there it is- defecation!
Determined, I pulled an all-nighter.
That turd was a hell of a fighter.
And then with my tush,
Turns out I did push!
And poof! I was seven pounds lighter!
Poem Details | by
Kim Rodrigues |
Categories:
humor,
Dear Jan, I hope you enjoy :)
THE RHYMING QUEEN OF POOP
Jan sits on her throne singing
Ting-a-ling tinkling
Wrapping TP ‘round and ‘round
Hoping solids come unbound
Queen of Poop’s puckered up
But happily she rhymes whilst a back-up
Yet relief emanates with a ka-boom
And an ah-ha whisked away with TP broom.
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
body, humorous, political,
Constipated senator Ron Thump
Got frustrated whilst taking a dump
Eww what a sad minger
He used his forefinger …
and extracted it all in a lump!
9TH June 2016
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
bird, humorous,
Gliding seagull in the summer sky
Drops its load - it lands in my eye!
I remove the mess – I’m so unhappy….
Will someone please invent a seagull nappy!
Entered in Laura Loo's couplet contest
28th July 2015
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous,
I once wrote a poem about poop
Not a 'suitable subject' for soup
It’s something we all do
So I’ll write about pooh
Now a contest – Roy I’m **** a hoop!
NOT FOR CONTEST
26th July 2015
Poem Details | by
Nick Trim |
Categories:
funny,
You'll think poop is underrated
when you're sat there constipated
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous, poetry,
toilet humour
it’s a splash in the can
I dream of roses
modern Senryu 4,6,5 syllables
Contest Short form Poetry Sponsored by Andrea Dietrich
05~08~16
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
humor,
The speed of sound is directly related to
Your visit to the washroom when you need a poop
If visitors are near
Don't want them to hear
So you cough out loud when a blast is due
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
body, cancer, humorous, poetry,
So my poems may not be perfect
And some of them don’t even rhyme
I write about poop and farting
But scatology is not a crime
I don’t know a person who has never done a pooh
So I’ll continue to write poems about going to the loo
On a serious note bowel cancer has killed three of my dad’s family
So I’ll always have a vested interest on the topic of scatology
03~02~17
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous,
In Japan, friends may send you good luck
Via an image of what I’d term muck
A picture of brown poo
Like you’d flush down the loo
Such emoji’s have left me dumbstruck
https://www.dazeddigital.com/artsandculture/article/24687/1/what-does-the-stinky-poop-emoji-really-mean
The Japanese word for poo, “unko” contains “un“, which sounds exactly like the word for good luck,
10/25/21
Poem Details | by
Jerry T Curtis |
Categories:
humor,
I recently received this Soup mail
Reply To
Subject: hi
From:
Message:
Hello,
My name is miss jenny, i saw your profile and it drew my attention to write to you. I would like you to communicate me through my e-mail address
(jennyramison@gmail.com)
jenny
Thank you Miss Jenny for your offer, but I must decline, as a consolation I have decided to write a little something for you!
I got Soup mail from a girl named Miss Jenny
I'm sure she wanted more that a penny
But those picture weren't true
She's a guy sixty two
So I told her she ain't getting any
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
bird, humorous, sky,
A seagull’s just messed on my car
poop splattered the windscreen so far
it obscured my view
wet white slimy pooh
that seagull needs the abattoir!
To remove that horrible slurry
I leapt out my car in a hurry
and wiped the poop off
with an old washcloth -
clean windscreen, but seagulls should worry
To prevent seagulls having fun
I’m fitting a huge machine gun
if one poops on my car
then I’ll shoot from afar
and seagulls will be on the run!
Contest Any animal or creature Limerick
Sponsor by Charles Messina
NO SEAGULLS WERE INJURED IN THE WRITING IN THIS FICTIONAL POEM
8/31/18
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
humorous,
Nature programs are all the rage on TV
The only thing interesting between you and me
Just one specie of millions
Livings in this pavilion
Imagine all the poop in our dungarees
© Jack Ellison 2015
Poem Details | by
Trevor Mcleod |
Categories:
angst, funny, leaving, philosophy,
Poop
It's only a poem.
Don't use that word.
I'm trying real hard,
despite what you've heard.
Poop
It's gonna get better.
I won't be deterred.
I've only just started.
and won't be deferred
Poop
It has a great ending
and won't be absurd.
Not one that I wanted,
but one I preferred.
Poop
It's not very long
and won't leave you spurred.
Unless you read slower
than what I've inferred.
Poop
I've added a climax
that won't go unheard.
Unless you're much older
than what I've concurred.
Poop
I'm nearing the end;
in which I've conferred,
to leaving you something
I hope has recurred.
Poop
And now for the ending
to which I referred.
In leaving you nothing
Accept for the
BIRD
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
house, humorous, work,
My toilet was blocked, what a bummer
I texted Curtis, he’s a plumber
He got out his long rod
Gave my blockage a prod
If lucky t’will be fixed by summer!
The plumber has read a food thesis
Why faeces aren’t falling to pieces
If you go the whole hog
You will poop a bog log
Our diets needs more oils and greases!
Occupation chosen Plumber
Limerick's poetry Contest by Joseph May
syllable count 9.9.6.6.9 both poems
checked with how many syllables
1/4/19
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
funny,
In Japan, believe it or not, there's a Poop Museum!
Kids slide down into a gigantic toilet, oh what freedom
Since I was a kid
A dream which I hid
To jump with two sisters in our toilet as a threesome
Poem Details | by
Craig Cornish |
Categories:
funny,
The reporter was thrown for a loop,
Her intentions were "Just get the scoop"!
But the scoop was delayed,
Constipation betrayed-
Sadly, stuck in the shoot was the poop!