Humorous and funny Poems poems and/or funny poems about Poems. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Poems funny poems!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
body, humorous,
Chocks Away - Poop Poem Warning
My turds float like choc’late marshamallows
Just lurking about in the shallows
I guess that my butt
Is truly kaput
So doctor suggests bitter aloes
I questioned such treatment regime
Doc said it may keep my butt clean
Aloe on my finger
Won’t cause me to linger
And floaters will look like whipped cream
Doc chuckled and said “Listen here
Your floaters are nothing to fear”
Poop floats cos you’ve gas
Which is passed through your ***
No treatment’s required my dear.
DISCLAIMER - THIS IS NO REFLECTION ON THE STATE OF MY BOWELS JUST NEEDED A LITTLE LIGHTHEARTED RELIEF AFTER A VERY CHALLENGING WEEK
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous,
Simply the Best Poem I'Ve Ever Written
OOPS - I must have used invisible ink
Happy April Fools Day to you all
Hugs Jan ***
1st April 2015
Written by
Lycia Harding
Categories:
food, fun, humorous, poets, tribute, words, writing,
Andrea's Poem Buffet - Tribute Limerick
A Lyrical Chef we'll call 'Dre',
whips up Writes for her Poem buffet.
She bakes Words into Rhyme
and roasts Prose in the time
it takes most just to cook a Cliché!
************************
This limerick was written for
my Soup buddy Andrea Dietrich.
Thank you for your positive
input and excellent support -
you are appreciated!. xoxo
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous,
This Poem Really Sucks
Mummy
Dummy
11~07~14
Sponsor Jerry T Curtis
This Poem really S****s
Thanks for my first ever negative comment
That is terrible.... J/K ....hugs Tim
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
fantasy, for her, fun, humorous, poetry, , cute,
Any Poem For Pd
Oh PD Linda’s a wily sly fox
She wants us to think outside the box
But I should be in bed
Rest my poor aching head
I have joined the school of hard knocks
I can’t think of a pesky line to write
For Linda’s entertainment and delight
But my muse has now flown
My poor brain's turned to stone
Will someone help me with my plight?
Oh what on earth am I going to do -
I wish that we had a new local zoo
I’d see a cute unicorn
That was recently born
Linda - I’ll think of a poem for you!
Any poem #38 sponsored by PD
03~31~16
Written by
Caren Krutsinger
Categories:
funny, humorous, nonsense,
A Racy Poem So Watch Out
My thumbs ran off today.
I knew they were in love
And I suspected they might be compelled to be alone, together.
However….
It makes opening cans rather tough.
Turning the key in the ignition is nigh onto impossible.
I had trouble picking up my fork for my eggs.
But do they care?
Heavens no.
They are selfishly in love, those two.
Gone away on a clandestine holiday.
Thank goodness I have an I-phone instead of a rotary one.
I do not even have to use my thumbs to hold it down while I dial.
They are in the next room, moaning and stuff.
Like newlyweds do. I hate to disturb them,
So here I sit, twiddling nothing.
Written by
George Yiorgos Stathakis
Categories:
humorous,
My Stupid Poem
I love the word 'stupid'.
I really do!
By using this word
I can denote
actions
that are illogical
lack common sense
appear absurd
or …. are just plain 'stupid'.
I do not use the word 'moron'.
(The word 'moron' is defined in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary as "a foolish or stupid person")
I also don't use 'idiot'.
(The Oxford Dictionary defines 'idiot' as "a stupid person")
No
just 'stupid'
just the action or actions
nothing else
nothing more.
(I hope this poem is not stupid)
Written by
Victoria Anderson-Throop
Categories:
funny,
Tale of Two Citizens Contest Poem To, Too, Two
Tale of Two Citizens
The pair of bi-sexual two-timing women left the duplex, too drunk to board the Twin Cities 2:22 .
Double crossed on the two way street, the duo fled New York, clutching the Tale of Two Cities.
Written by
Michael Wise
Categories:
happy, humor, light,
Not a Long Poem
I'm making this brief
to spare you the grief
of having to scroll even once
You see by the title
that this here recital
ain't one of my long-winded stunts
It's not a long poem
there's no need to roam
all over the place for your fix
If rhythm's your need
you'll be happy indeed
that I tossed this one into the mix
Now I'm almost done
and I hope you had fun
with this humorous roadside attraction
So please hurry back
for a quick rhyming snack
and eat to your sweet satisfaction
3/10/19
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, me, poetry,
WARNING THIS POEM CONTAINS TOILET HUMOUR
A poet, that's me I'm called Jan
Was NEVER a poetry fan
Now two books bear my name
Not for fortune or fame
I'll pen poop whenever I can!
If ever I am stuck for words
I resort to write about turds
Brown things that you poo
When you're sat on the loo
Poop poetry's not just for nerds!
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
desire, humor, poetry, word play,
'Poem of the Day'
My aspirations mock me
my 'poetry's' prose
When I 'sink' "I've 'got it now"
ze toilet overflows
My metaphor's hum-drum, similes stale
my allusions as delicate as Moby the Whale
My plots are just schemes, so are my themes
at night they turn dreams into screams...
Oh, how I wish just for once I could say ~
I've really truly penned 'Poem of the Day'
Written by
Michael J. Falotico
Categories:
funny
"a Bent Poem"
Let the paper blow in the breeze..
Maybe the words will move for a tease..
The end is the beginning for a new start..
And now the middle is the end not so smart..
Sentences that blur together for a rhyme..
Must put this to rest before I run out of time..
Let the message be told to those who hear..
Don't write when your tired or just had a beer..
Written by
David Crandall
Categories:
humor, memory, poetry,
Another Week, Another Poem
Another week, another poem to write and tweak,
Another truth to try to speak,
Another thought I hope to tame -
Or maybe, I should focus on...remembering my name.
Written by
David De La Croes
Categories:
family, giggle, granddaughter, grandfather,
I Wish - Poem For My Granddaughter
I wish I could look at a flower through your eyes
and discover why you are so fascinated by it.
I wonder why your eyes glisten
when you look at the stars,
and why you smile at the moon.
I wish I could find out what triggers you
to jump and skip, or giggle with glee
and I strain my ears to hear the silent melody
which causes you to break out in song.
I wish I could embrace someone so firmly
as you do when you jump up to greet me.
I wish I were like you when I was a child.
Written by
David Dowling
Categories:
art, food, funny,
A Poem About Apples With a Title Longer Than the Poem Itself
apples.
Fruit for thought!
Written by
Doris Culverhouse
Categories:
funny
Just a Test Poem
Cody-sun feet of parmesan.
Written by
James Study
Categories:
celebration, funny, work,
Retirement Poem
This is the day you hang it all up
We drink to you from a paper cup
From the boss not a tear
Let the door hit your rear
For his office you did corrupt
Hunting and fishing ahead for you
Play cards drink beer if you want to
Excuse if I enquire
What's new when you retire
How will we know the day you do
The future I see one change real soon
The company I see a major boon
Toilet paper and stock
Towels and soap not lock
Big jump in supplies for the wash room
I don't want to seem a bit lofty
For real I'm just a big softy
Something you should know
We will all miss you so
Cause you made the best pot of coffee
Written by
David Dowling
Categories:
art, food, funny, philosophy, visionary,
A Poem About An Apple That Is Sure To Disappoint the Reader
I see an apple.
There it is.
Written by
Peter Dome
Categories:
hair, humor, humorous, imagination, school,
The Nit Nurse An Itchy Poem
The Nit nurse would come around once a month
To my primary school usually after lunch
We'd all queue up in a line
All the kids and friends of mine.
One by one the nurse would examine our hair
Once in a while the scruffier one's in the class
Were given a brown paper bag and letter for their mum
And told to run home fast.
You could say I was a bit slow
But it took me years before I got to know what was in that
Brown paper bag.
I never got one myself
My hair must have been in perfect health
But I don't know why but I'm suddenly beginning to itch
I swear and it's not just my hair
Do you feel itchy now too?
OOh.
Peter Dome.Copyright.2015.May.
Written by
Rizo Ale
Categories:
animal, cat, children, funny, silly,
Fuuny Cat Poem For Kids
Here kitty kitty,
let's play hide and seek.
Hey, kitty?
Oh, you are asleep.
Come kitty,
give me a hug.
Where are you, kitty?
Oh, you are taking a nap.
Good night my kitty.
Now, you are up?
Listen my kitty,
Don't be such a cat.
Written by
Rita A. Simmonds
Categories:
beach, child,
Funny Beach Poem For Kids
I saw you playing on the beach,
the sky so blue but out-of-reach.
You started throwing sand so high
it hit the sun right in the eye!
He pulled the clouds around his head
like fluffy pillows from a bed.
Then rain poured down from darkened sky;
You didn’t mean to make him cry.
Written by
Anthony Beck
Categories:
education, humorous, irony, soccer,
Ode To Dyslexics -- a Soccer Poem
Woe is us, we wretched Dyslexicons,
We visionary thinking paragons,
We the summer-school-room-dwelling patsies,
We the ostracized by Spelling Nazis.
(sorry, lied about the soccer)
Written by
Liz Labadie-Reilly
Categories:
children, funny,
Kids Funny Bee Buzz Poem
A KIDS FUNNY BEE BUZZ POEM
The fuzzy, wuzzy bumble bee
a fussy, hussy bee was he
because he lost his buzz you see
in a muggy, buggy mushroom tree
On mushrooms bitter, boggy black,
he planned an aerial attack,
but bouncing, pouncing skills he lacked
and failed to get his bee buzz back.
Now this fumbling, stumbling bumble bee
searched helter, skelter frantically
for a bigger bee to help him free
his bee buzz from the mushroom tree.
But no bee ever came around,
searched high and low, tree and ground,
but his buzz was never found,
a buzzless bee without his sound.
POOR FUZZY, WUZZY BUMBLEBEE
Liz Labadie-Reilly
October 18/2015
Written by
Andrew Rymill
Categories:
art, funny, imagination, inspirational, introspection, mystery,
Poem Pinata
Please strike
the piñata
i have made for you
out of the stripes of paper
and the glue,
In the midnight hour
i have labored long
on this plump pig
of collaged letters.
with corrugated metaphors
Sightless Find the weakest point.
let that guide
your hand
the transparent rose
cellophane
wrapped candy
shall flow
in libation of sound
pour down
like a quirky rainstorm
bouncing
like silver
coins
on the sidewalk
of your mind.
Written by
Samuel Durant
Categories:
humorous, poetry,
The Poem With No Title
This is the poem with no title.