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Funny Poems About Natural Disasters
Humorous and funny Natural Disasters poems and/or funny poems about Natural Disasters. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Natural Disasters funny poems!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, lust, natural disasters,
Oops - It's a Bit of a **** Up
Ted enjoys a quick roll in the hay...
He’s sleeping with his buxom P A
She confirmed she’s with child
Ted baulked, then got quite riled
I wonder what his wife’s got to say!
5/26/18
Written by
Jslambert Mister Roboto
Categories:
caregiving, childhood, confusion, family, father, children, funny, happiness, holiday, husband, imagination, life, mother, natural disasters, nature, parody, people, places, satire, social, son, teen, wife
Redneck Father's Day------
***NOTE~TO BE READ WITH A RIDICULOUS "SILKY SOUTHERN DRAWL" (have fun:)***
"Storm over yet...?"
"Well hay'ell ye'ah!
woo-hoo!
sum'body git me a da'gumm cole beer.
whadda'bou that boy th'er?
sum'body git him'a cole beer too!"
"Diddy! that boy ain't nothin' but 8 years old!"
"Wha'choo sayin?
wha'th'a?
na'I don't give a jolly'durn, if he ain't nuttin but 8 year'owed!
shoot!
'dat boy dun' sat him thr'ew a big ol', storm!
torna'durr warnin' too!
he gonna have him'a cole burr;
on me!"
my treat!
mama, git him'a cole burr!
ro'tt now;
ya'here?
besides...
ta'days father's day!"
© 2011 ~JSLambert Esquire
Written by
Lawrence Ingle
Categories:
funny, natural disasters, pets
Monkey Poo
Monkey see....monkey do...
Monkey took a poo poo...
Monkey pooed on my arm..
on my shirt...icky warm...
Monkey poo rings my alarm!
Monkey monkey...look at you!
Get this off...it's from your wah-zoo!!
Eep! eep! eep! said the monkey!
Then he squeezed his nose...
'cause it smelled funky!
Written by
Brittany Reynolds
Categories:
funny, natural disasters, nature, on work and working,
Stereotype Enforced By a Storm
While I appreciate the vacation
it would have been better if it were paid.
Funds lessened by nature’s aggravation,
lends credence to the starved artist charade.
Written by
Leanne Tuftytift
Categories:
animal, cheer up, giggle, good night, natural disasters, romance, true love,
Lean On Me
Leanne loves milking her cows
Everyday she dreams of those cows when she is away
A noise she hears
Nay says the horse, Nay says the cows
Nay says Linda, Nay says James
Everyday she hears voices
LEANne on me.....
Please bare a moment to pray and have thought for the dairy farmers in the world :-(
Written by
Isaiah Zerbst
Categories:
dog, funny, humor, natural disasters,
A Pleasant Trip
I stepped out the door to feed Doggy
The day was so beautifully foggy
I tripped on his dishes
And swam like the fishes
And now all my dress clothes are soggy!
Written by
Dan Keir
Categories:
adventure, freedom, history, holiday, home, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, journey, life, love, metaphor, natural disasters, nature, nostalgia, passion, philosophy, recovery from..., space, stress, travel,
Le Vacance Pretentieuse: Storm Part V
The English weather:
Rainclouds follow us from home
There is no escape.
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
animal, funny, hilarious, natural disasters, rude, silly, water,
The Never Song
Never stand behind a hippo!
Never stand behind a hippo!
Never stand behind a hippo!
Projectile diarrhea!
Written by
Shanity Rain
Categories:
beauty, birth, celebration, creation, culture, fish, future, god, history, humor, image, imagination, immigration, inspirational, life, magic, miracle, mystery, mythology, natural disasters, nature, night, nostalgia, ocean, old, science, sea, technology, voyage,
New Aquatic Species
Science in all fascination has discovered a species aquatic
Theorizing this new yet old species remained hidden as Merman
only to live in secret at the oceans floor the mermaid a tribe indigenous
once said to be myth yet all proof and technology film does not lie
Tsunamis has given the ocean a true glance of the man with webbed hands
The species communes with dolphins will be under a microscope to analyze ?
" The World is not ready to see what I have " Jacques Cousteau ~
to be entered in The Science contest ~
Written by
Barbara Gorelick
Categories:
funny, natural disasters
A Naked Dream
I always wanted to play chess
But not in a state of undress
My doctor was there
He tried not to stare
Then told me my body's a mess...
Written by
Daniel Cwiak
Categories:
funny, introspection, natural disasters, sports
Umpf. . . Umpf
Umpf . . . Umpf . . . Squeeze . . . Squeeze
Tuck that flab in there, if you please!
"This swim suit is too small, I fear...
Or did I think the same last year?"
Just one thing...REMIND YOURESELF NOT TO SNEEZE!
Written by
Duncan Mitchell
Categories:
animal, destiny, funny, health, natural disasters,
If a Tortoise, If a Turtle
Dedicated to my favourite poet - Shelley
If a tortoise, if a turtle
You are never going to hurtle
Witness how your limbs are placed
Splayed east to west, all carapaced
what if some meat-eating moron,
Jonesing for a snack to gnaw on,
sees you sumo-stepping by
thinks "Hey look - a fresh meat pie"?
Running will beget disaster
You beat a hare so now you're faster?
You let your tasty bits protrude
and pretty soon they're getting chewed
No! Stop to suck your vitals in,
and hope he likes his toothy grin
Cause it's going to get busted
your gooey filling's well encrusted
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
animal, funny, natural disasters, political,
What Happens When There Is No News Drama
While the media loves Donald Trump
His mind is an acrid waste dump
He speaks from his ***
His mouth passes marsh gas
Thus he's known to us as Donald Rump
This idiot/moron was the leading story on the news shows for this Sunday. This is a total waste of time and is mostly about TV ratings. Go Bernie Sanders (the Trump antithesis)!!
Written by
John Fenn
Categories:
fantasy, funny, imagination, loss, natural disasters
Sock Monster
The sock monster climbs up the waste pipe
And into your washing machine
He’ll hide up in a corner
To ensure he can’t be seen.
Then when you put you clothes in
And you’ve set the washers clock
He’ll dive into your washing
And select a single sock.
This special prize, he’ll carry off
To his secret monster lair
And share this tasty morsel
With his monster wife so fair.
© John W Fenn 03-12-2008
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
autumn, endurance, funny love, grandfather, lust, natural disasters, sensual,
Pinch An Ear
O help me! I've fallen
And I can't get it up!
I'm stuck here acrawlin'
Up a Double-D cup
Now don't let us dicker
I am over the hill
Just be a mite quicker
Slipping me that blue pill!
Written by
Mike Martin
Categories:
humor, native american, natural disasters, nature, rain,
Rain Dance
Rain dance, rain dance, clothed or bare
It makes no difference what you wear
If you need rain, do not despair
A little rain dance here or there
But please be careful if you do
And don’t be carried away
You might wind up in a canoe
And have a lousy day
Written by
Rhoda Tripp
Categories:
corruption, dark, emo, humor, humorous, natural disasters, sick,
Demon Dance
There once was an old man, a perv.
And wow! He had quite the nerve.
He pulled down his pants,
Said "Watch my demon dance."
He really threw me a curve.
Written by
Connie Marcum Wong
Categories:
food, funny, natural disasters,
Four Alarm Cook - Etheree
One
day I
thought I would
boil some eggs so
I put them on the
stove on high heat, being
the impatient lass I am.
I got distracted in the yard.
The eggs blew up and the pan almost
melted. That’s why my husband is the cook!
For Susan Burch's Contest "Ridiculous Self Exaggerations"
Written by
Misty Hoot
Categories:
family, funny, hope, natural disasters, inspirational, love, people, uplifting,
Go Saints!
Your team catches the ball, runs the ball, and sometimes get a touchdown.
This team of black and gold brought the joy and pride back to their hometown.
You make us proud to call you our own.
Your team spirit you've realy shown.
I stand in the crowd as they scream so proud.
Go Saints!
Fans faces are covered in gold and black face paints.
You beat the enemy.
So far you' ve won all three.
I can't wait for your next game!
You'll put the other team to shame.
If you ask us how we feel about our team we have no complaints.
All we have to say is GOOOOOOOOOO Saints!
Written by
Jean Murray
Categories:
giggle, i am, natural disasters, sorry,
Congratulations Idiot
Consternation
On my face.
Now I
Grasp the
Realisation.
All the
Times I
Uttered the word.
Little did
I realise until
Only on re reading I
Never got the
Spelling right .
I am a
Dittering fool.
I never
Once used
The spelling tool.
Written by
Jimmy Anderson
Categories:
animals, funny, history, loss, natural disasters
Dinosaurs
Ya gotta love them.
Huge, wild, extinct, Flintstone's bus....
Tyrannosaurus.
Rex was his last name.
He disappeared all the same....
Ice age was to blame!!
Triceratops too.
And if he ever said boo...
Would scare even you!!!
*For SKAT's "Dinosaurs" contest
Written by
John Lawless
Categories:
age, dance, humor, natural disasters,
That Imperious Urge - For Contest
That Imperious Urge
He said the Golden Years are all the rage
Aye, it was more a shuffling two-step dance
thus did I run to greet this coming craze
of those just old enough to take the chance.
Classes I assumed would teach the Rumba
my glasses and my hearing aid – but props
bones that clatter in pursuit of Zumba
gyrations fear – the racket will not stop.
Trapped amid memories in the attic
my doctors say I must stay hydrated
now that I’m a homebound geriatric
my bladder feels constantly inflated.
Thus do I stand and wait for water flow
to quell the urge that said I had to go.
9/16/2016
submitted to – Which of the Four Would You Choose – Poetry Contest
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
funny, natural disasters,
A Deadly Weapon
Sometimes I fart like an AK-47
People run for cover in fear
With panic on their distorted faces
They can tell my end is near
Not from a fear of death they run
It's the indescribable odour
Something must have died in there
Smells like a backend loader
No need to fret no need to worry
An air freshener should do the trick
If that doesn't work maybe try
Burning some incense sticks
Bottom line is, it's all about bottoms
And mine's the one in question
The AK-47 thing is meant to alleviate
Unwanted traffic congestion!
© Jack Ellison 2012
Written by
Demi Ran
Categories:
depression, funny, happiness, health, life, natural disasters, nature, people, sad, war,
Sweet Love O' Mine
I bought a burger yesterday
It was very dry like the seagull bay
I pilled a lot of ketchup on it
and still dry it remained
I was very dissappointed
as i look at the dry damned thing
I ran to the toilet
and let out a HUGE
BLEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHH
As chunks of the dry burger fell out of my pie hole
Landing into the toilet
Making dookie plop noizes
I'm done
Written by
Mark Hughes
Categories:
humor, natural disasters,
There's a Pill For That
Poor old cooter
with a limp pee shooter
Feeling no levity
his battle versus gravity
Doc says if you will
just pop this little pill
Life has returned to great
now that things are back to straight.
I hope this is not offensive to anyone!
Certainly not my intention.
Seeking humor in a man's misery.