Humorous and funny Life poems and/or funny poems about Life. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Life funny poems!
Written by
Poet Destroyer A
Categories:
adventure, animal, beautiful, blessing, celebrity, funny, life,
The Squirrel
~My Nutty Squirrel Poem~
Up in a tree, on a branch
Now you see me, now you don't!
Sneaky and fast, I'm adorable
Now, why would you hunt or shot me for fun?
Do you like, how fast I run?
I'm not just another chipmunk
Stuffing my face with nuts,
I'm classy and beautiful,
The best part of nature.....
Red pointed ears, I hear you drawing near.
Chuckle, chuckle, caffeine free
I saw you looking at my fine coat.
Fluffy and curious, touch me and I'm Calling PETA!
See YA--- Life Is Beautiful!!!
I'm stuffing these nuts back into my mouth
and Jumping onto another tree :) The End
........
Love The Squirrel from another World.
Love LINDA
Written by
Daniel Turner
Categories:
age, humor, life,
Sucker Punched
I can't recall exactly when
Life swung and hit me on my chin
I"m ashamed to say, it knocked me cold
When I came to, I woke up old
While I was out, I had a dream
Of juggling on a balance beam
While jumping hoops, upon one leg
And one wrong move, cost one nest egg
Was it yesterday or the day before
I had it all but wanted more
When days were long and fears were short
Carouse by day, at night cavort
Yesterday, less was more
It must have been the day before
I wish I'd seen life's sucker punch
'cause now my memory's out to lunch
by Daniel Turner
Written by
Eric Nolan
Categories:
funny, happiness, life, satire, upliftingme, me,
My Butt Crack
My butt crack
Is quite a split
It supports the rest of me
when I sit
you thought I was gonna say something else didn't you ?
My butt crack
Is a marvel to behold
It was cute when I was young
but now offensive since I'm old
My butt crack
Is pretty darn straight
can you imagine if it was crooked
pretty weird sight I would rate
My butt crack
Is funny to me
when I bend over in my jeans
It peeks out
for you to see
My butt crack
wanted me to write this today
for no other reason
then just to say......................
I gotta split
LOL
Eric (and sometimes not)
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, life,
Wine Connoisseur - For Contest
No one wants to be left on the shelf for years
Guess you could say I’ve popped my cork
Now I’m fully mature with a rich full body
I could be described as a little fruity with a hint of spice
Please don’t keep me bottled up
Just give me time to breathe
Contest :- A wine Connoisseur
Sponsor: Chase Trevi
08~14~15
Written by
Jslambert Mister Roboto
Categories:
allegory, fantasy, father, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, health, hope, husband, imagination, life, love, passion, people, places, romance, social, wife,
Viagra Falls
There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'
but when it got little
his pills became skittles
until he O.D.'d on Viagra
© ~JSLambert 2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!
Written by
Mary Nagy
Categories:
angst, daughter, family, funny, happiness, life, love, car,
Princess Needs a New Car
Princess just wants a new car.
I have told her that hers will go far.
'Oh, it's really not cool
driving this crap to school.'
'Do I need that emotional scar? '
'The kids will all laugh at the rust.
When we race, I'll be left in the dust!
I will save up some cash
then we'll make a mad dash
to the car dealer surely you trust'.
'He will make us a wonderful deal
and I'm sure you will know how I feel.
I will love you so much,
My siblings... I won't touch.
Just get me behind a new wheel'!
Now she'll be cruisin in style.
She'll be happy for only awhile.
There will always be better
and we'll try hard to get her
a car that will make princess smile.
Written by
Sabina Nicole
Categories:
funny, life,
This Laundry Never Ends
Oh laundry, how relentless you are in this house,
It’s as if I were a polygamist’s spouse.
By: Sabina Nicole
Written by
Moonbee Canady
Categories:
daughter, family, funny, happiness, life, love, mother, nature, nostalgia, peace, people, seasons
Its Raining...
Its Raining…
God’s Cleansing Tool
Cloud-Concerto… How Cool !
Plop-Plop Plopping into Pothole Pools
On the Grass, Pavements and On My Own-Sweet- Fools…
who, don’t have Sense enough, to get out of the Rain…
… I think I’ll go Join Them… Again
Amen
Written by
James Horn
Categories:
humorous,
From Life of a Cat
From Life of Cat
From life of a cat what can we learn?
Never have seen one wearing a sunburn
Our cat we do have that does exist
Seems to think he is a ventriloquist.
Took meow test and great grade he made;
To write poems even tried to persuade
Sweet and low chariot was met by a meow
And what I am about to learn no one knew.
In our house, cat has a humble place to live
Sufficient food and water to him, we will give
But when he wants to eat by himself alone
He likes ice cream served on a crunchy cone.
James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
So where is the cat poem contest at?
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, life,
When Tomorrow Never Comes
It’s said tomorrow never comes
Believe me it’s so true
I’ve got a massive list
Of jobs I’ve got to do...
Tomorrow!
I should not put off jobs
Until a rainy day
Unfortunately my tardiness
will just add to the delay
I promise I will get them done ...
Tomorrow!
6/2/19
Written by
Clive Culverhouse
Categories:
fun, humorous, life, people, science, truth, world,
Many Coffees Go Cold - Reality Explained
the things you both see
you all see
is merely a continuity safeguard
one of the laws written in to prevent chaos
we can't have multiple lifeforms occupying the same space all seeing and experiencing something different
it just wouldn't work
so we've set impulses to align where and whenever possible
sure as hell easier when you lot are on your own
takes a heap of pressure off the system
that way we suspend everyone else
they're not needed
you don't surely think they're individually living do you
no, just on hold, paused
until you're no longer on your own
then we have our work cut out again
and many coffees go cold
Written by
John Lawless
Categories:
humor, life,
One Sock
one sock
three toes showing
darn it
John G. Lawless
©10/18/2019
Written by
Anne-Lise Andresen
Categories:
fantasy, humorous, life,
- Ice Cold Champagne -
Do you remember old aunt Julie
In a hurry she opened all the windows
Even in the middle of the winter,
rain or storm
She suddenly needed to have fresh air
Breathed like a whale
The face changed color
Her cheek, ear and throat became deep red
Talked louder than normal
She was a comic figure
We were just young children
did not understand
The years go by ...
we are there ourselves
Hormonal hot flashes
I'm smiling by the old memories
Aunt Julie's advice was;
No estrogen supplements or pills ... but ...
...... Ice cold champagne ......
04.08.2017
- Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
- Copyright © All Rights Reserved
Written by
Poet Destroyer A
Categories:
adventure, caregiving, celebration, confusion, desire, feelings, funny, humor, identity, life, october,
Sweet and Salty -Libra Tale
LIBRA TALE
Sweet and Sour hectic sign
Love me, trust me, the stars align
Balance of truth and dare
Good and Evil, full of care
Blind when it comes to blood line
:) PD
Written by
Dan Keir
Categories:
adventure, dedication, freedom, home, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, metaphor, mystery, nature, nostalgia, people, political, sad, satire, social, sorrow, spiritual, success, time, travel, uplifting, urban, visionary, war, write,
The Internet: Rtrn
A void of Facebook
Creativity dies here...
Procrastination!
Written by
Carol Sunshine Brown
Categories:
funny, life,
Jokers Lament
eyes of deepest blue
lips sweet as maple syrup...
his dog loves him too
Written by
Carol Sunshine Brown
Categories:
family, funny, history, life,
The Brown Tree
All the nuts fell to the ground
The sane ones on branches hang
Long line from many countries
My family tree
Written by
Joseph Spence Sr
Categories:
adventure, funny, imagination, life, nature, science, visionary,
Don'T Disturb the Hive
Run, jump, scream, duck, dodge and leap
Try to stay on your running feet
Honey in the hive
The bees are alive
Run, jump, scream, don't fall and leap!
Written by
Vince Suzadail Jr.
Categories:
funny, life, me, me,
Another Criminal Act
Before sentence is passed, please hear my plea
I promise to be the man that I should be
Don't give me death. Please be kind
I have a family I don't want to leave behind.
I was unaware at the time
That what I did was a horrible crime
So now I feel like a louse
Please don't kick me out of the house.
I know what I do now is totally right
I am surrendering without a fight
And with head bowed I know it's time
For me to pay for my crime.
From now on I will go straight
When I start snacking very late
The last thing I do after finishing my drink
Is put the damn dishes in the sink.
Written by
Sara Kendrick
Categories:
funny, imagination, introspection, life, nature
Just Desserts For Unfaithful
.
Any pretty woman turned his head
He liked them all so it is said
Then one day to his surprise
They no longer caught his eye
His sexual desire totally died
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
fantasy, humorous, space,
Is There Life On Mars
Two Martians went on a blind date
They agreed to meet at half eight
Dressed as harlequins
They looked like two twins
Them meeting was just down to fate
They sat down and ordered some beer
Drank it up and were soon full of cheer
They went to a star
Which wasn’t too far
And agreed Mars had no atmosphere
They decided to visit our earth
Most earthlings gave them a wide berth
A photo was taken
The image is makin’
A fortune - just think of its worth!
Both settled in the US of A
Martians friends came on a holiday
Wearing such clever disguise
They look like regular guys
Area 51 is where they stay
Subject Mars – Joe Maverick
07~05~15
Written by
Xavier Keough
Categories:
funny, life, loss,
Oh, Toilet Bowl
Oh, toilet bowl
Did you hear me in the hall
Talking to that bastard wall
Asking who moved the door
Oh, toilet bowl
Don’t ever have gin and tonic
Cause inebriation is quite ironic
When lost in your own home
Oh, toilet bowl
So accessible and cool
Forgive my 90 proof drool
Irony is about to surface
Oh, toilet bowl
We're no longer alone
I’m talking to Ralph
on your big white phone
He says he’s sorry
Oh, toilet bowl
My porcelain gold
If I may be so bold
Meet my bottom
Oh, toilet bowl!
Written by
Johnette Loefgren
Categories:
funny, life,
On a Diet
sugar substitute
low fat carbohydrate free
feed it to the cat
Written by
Joanna Davis
Categories:
culture, encouraging, family, food, funny, happiness, health, inspirational, life, people, uplifting,
Soul Food
Bagels and baguettes
Bap or fried bake,
The fruits of the flour
are easy to make
Chollah, chapatti,
Cinnamon bun.
These global delights,
make eating such fun.
Filled with Caribbean sweet meat
like Guava jam,
Scottish smoked salmon;
Or Danish roast ham.
Add a fresh fruit salad,
Some sparkling wine,
A candle, red roses and
you’re ready to dine.
Joanna Davis
Written by
Mark Goodson
Categories:
funny, health, life, hair,
The Wisdom of Wine and Gin
My hair has receded and my belly grown fat
There’s hair growing in my ears and I don’t like that
My joints ache all the day and I have troubles with peeing
I’m tired all the time and have glasses for seeing
Gravity has taken over putting life in a downward spin
No wonder I enjoy drinking a little wine and gin