Funny Poems About Life or Life Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Life poems and/or funny poems about Life. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Life funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Life Poems.

Poem Details | by Poet Destroyer A |
Categories: adventure, animal, beautiful, blessing, celebrity, funny, life,

The Squirrel

~My Nutty Squirrel Poem~

Up in a tree, on a branch
Now you see me, now you don't!

Sneaky and fast, I'm adorable
Now, why would you hunt or shot me for fun?
Do you like, how fast I run?
I'm not just another chipmunk 
Stuffing my face with nuts,
I'm classy and beautiful, 
The  best  part  of   nature.....

Red pointed ears, I hear you drawing near.
Chuckle, chuckle, caffeine free
I saw you looking at my fine coat.
Fluffy and curious, touch me and I'm Calling PETA!
See YA---  Life Is Beautiful!!!
I'm stuffing these nuts back into my mouth 
and Jumping onto another tree :) The End
........
Love The Squirrel from another World.  
Love LINDA

Poem Details | by Daniel Turner |
Categories: age, humor, life,

Sucker Punched

I can't recall exactly when
Life swung and hit me on my chin
I"m ashamed to say, it knocked me cold
When I came to, I woke up old

While I was out, I had a dream
Of juggling on a balance beam
While jumping hoops, upon one leg
And one wrong move, cost one nest egg

Was it yesterday or the day before
I had it all but wanted more
When days were long and fears were short
Carouse by day, at night cavort

Yesterday, less was more
It must have been the day before
I wish I'd seen life's sucker punch
'cause now my memory's out to lunch


          by Daniel Turner


Poem Details | by Eric Nolan |
Categories: funny, happiness, life, satire, upliftingme, me,

My Butt Crack

My butt crack 
Is quite a split 
It supports the rest of me 
when I sit 
you thought I was gonna say something else didn't you ?

My butt crack 
Is a marvel to behold 
It was cute when I was young 
but now offensive since I'm old 

My butt crack 
Is pretty darn straight 
can you imagine if it was crooked 
pretty weird sight I would rate 

My butt crack 
Is funny to me 
when I bend over in my jeans 
It peeks out 
for you to see 

My butt crack 
wanted me to write this today 
for no other reason 
then just to say......................

I gotta split 


LOL 

Eric (and sometimes not)

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: humorous, life,

Wine Connoisseur - For Contest

No one wants to be left on the shelf for years Guess you could say I’ve popped my cork Now I’m fully mature with a rich full body I could be described as a little fruity with a hint of spice Please don’t keep me bottled up Just give me time to breathe Contest :- A wine Connoisseur Sponsor: Chase Trevi 08~14~15

Poem Details | by Jslambert Mister Roboto |
Categories: allegory, fantasy, father, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, health, hope, husband, imagination, life, love, passion, people, places, romance, social, wife,

Viagra Falls

There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'

but when it got little 
his pills became skittles   
until he O.D.'d on Viagra

© ~JSLambert  2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!


Poem Details | by Mary Nagy |
Categories: angst, daughter, family, funny, happiness, life, love, car,

Princess Needs a New Car

Princess just wants a new car.
I have told her that hers will go far.
'Oh, it's really not cool
driving this crap to school.'
'Do I need that emotional scar? '

'The kids will all laugh at the rust.
When we race, I'll be left in the dust! 
I will save up some cash
then we'll make a mad dash
to the car dealer surely you trust'.

'He will make us a wonderful deal
and I'm sure you will know how I feel.
I will love you so much, 
My siblings... I won't touch.
Just get me behind a new wheel'! 

Now she'll be cruisin in style.
She'll be happy for only awhile.
There will always be better
and we'll try hard to get her
a car that will make princess smile.

Poem Details | by Sabina Nicole |
Categories: funny, life,

This Laundry Never Ends

Oh laundry, how relentless you are in this house,
It’s as if I were a polygamist’s spouse.

By: Sabina Nicole

Poem Details | by Moonbee Canady |
Categories: daughter, family, funny, happiness, life, love, mother, nature, nostalgia, peace, people, seasons

Its Raining...

Its Raining…

God’s Cleansing Tool
Cloud-Concerto… How Cool !
Plop-Plop Plopping into Pothole Pools
On the Grass, Pavements and On My Own-Sweet- Fools…

who, don’t have Sense enough, to get out of the Rain…
… I think I’ll go Join Them… Again

                               Amen

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: humorous,

From Life of a Cat

From Life of Cat

From life of a cat what can we learn?
Never have seen one wearing a sunburn
Our cat we do have that does exist
Seems to think he is a ventriloquist.

Took meow test and great grade he made;
To write poems even tried to persuade
Sweet and low chariot was met by a meow
And what I am about to learn no one knew.

In our house, cat has a humble place to live
Sufficient food and water to him, we will give
But when he wants to eat by himself alone
He likes ice cream served on a crunchy cone.

James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
So where is the cat poem contest at?

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: humorous, life,

When Tomorrow Never Comes

It’s said tomorrow never comes Believe me it’s so true I’ve got a massive list Of jobs I’ve got to do... Tomorrow! I should not put off jobs Until a rainy day Unfortunately my tardiness will just add to the delay I promise I will get them done ... Tomorrow! 6/2/19

Poem Details | by Clive Culverhouse |
Categories: fun, humorous, life, people, science, truth, world,

Many Coffees Go Cold - Reality Explained

the things you both see
you all see 
is merely a continuity safeguard 
one of the laws written in to prevent chaos
we can't have multiple lifeforms occupying the same space all seeing and experiencing something different
it just wouldn't work
so we've set impulses to align where and whenever possible
sure as hell easier when you lot are on your own
takes a heap of pressure off the system
that way we suspend everyone else
they're not needed
you don't surely think they're individually living do you
no, just on hold, paused 
until you're no longer on your own
then we have our work cut out again
and many coffees go cold


Poem Details | by Anne-Lise Andresen |
Categories: fantasy, humorous, life,

- Ice Cold Champagne -

Do you remember old aunt Julie
In a hurry she opened all the windows
Even in the middle of the winter,
rain or storm
She suddenly needed to have fresh air
Breathed like a whale
The face changed color
Her cheek, ear and throat became deep red
Talked louder than normal
She was a comic figure

We were just young children
did not understand
The years go by ...
we are there ourselves
Hormonal hot flashes
I'm smiling by the old memories
Aunt Julie's advice was;
No estrogen supplements or pills ... but ... 
...... Ice cold champagne ......











   04.08.2017
- Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
- Copyright © All Rights Reserved

Poem Details | by Poet Destroyer A |
Categories: adventure, caregiving, celebration, confusion, desire, feelings, funny, humor, identity, life, october,

Sweet and Salty -Libra Tale

LIBRA  TALE

Sweet and Sour hectic sign
Love me, trust me, the stars align
   Balance of truth and dare
   Good and Evil, full of care 
Blind when it comes to blood line


 
:) PD

Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: adventure, dedication, freedom, home, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, metaphor, mystery, nature, nostalgia, people, political, sad, satire, social, sorrow, spiritual, success, time, travel, uplifting, urban, visionary, war, write,

The Internet: Rtrn

A void of Facebook
Creativity dies here...
Procrastination!

Poem Details | by Carol Sunshine Brown |
Categories: funny, life,

Jokers Lament

eyes of deepest blue
lips sweet as maple syrup...
his dog loves him too

Poem Details | by Carol Sunshine Brown |
Categories: family, funny, history, life,

The Brown Tree

All the nuts fell to the ground
The sane ones on branches hang
Long line from many countries
My family tree

Poem Details | by Joseph Spence Sr |
Categories: adventure, funny, imagination, life, nature, science, visionary,

Don'T Disturb the Hive

Run, jump, scream, duck, dodge and leap 
Try to stay on your running feet 
Honey in the hive 
The bees are alive 
Run, jump, scream, don't fall and leap!

Poem Details | by Vince Suzadail Jr. |
Categories: funny, life, me, me,

Another Criminal Act

Before sentence is passed, please hear my plea
I promise to be the man that I should be
Don't give me death. Please be kind
I have a family I don't want to leave behind.

I was unaware at the time
That what I did was a horrible crime
So now I feel like a louse
Please don't kick me out of the house.

I know what I do now is totally right
I am surrendering without a fight
And with head bowed I know it's time
For me to pay for my crime.

From now on I will go straight
When I start snacking very late
The last thing I do after finishing my drink
Is put the damn dishes in the sink.

Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: funny, imagination, introspection, life, nature

Just Desserts For Unfaithful

.
  Any pretty woman turned his head
  He liked them all so it is said
  Then one day to his surprise
  They no longer caught his eye
   His sexual desire totally died

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: fantasy, humorous, space,

Is There Life On Mars

Two Martians went on a blind date They agreed to meet at half eight Dressed as harlequins They looked like two twins Them meeting was just down to fate They sat down and ordered some beer Drank it up and were soon full of cheer They went to a star Which wasn’t too far And agreed Mars had no atmosphere They decided to visit our earth Most earthlings gave them a wide berth A photo was taken The image is makin’ A fortune - just think of its worth! Both settled in the US of A Martians friends came on a holiday Wearing such clever disguise They look like regular guys Area 51 is where they stay Subject Mars – Joe Maverick 07~05~15

Poem Details | by Xavier Keough |
Categories: funny, life, loss,

Oh, Toilet Bowl

Oh, toilet bowl
Did you hear me in the hall
Talking to that bastard wall
Asking who moved the door

Oh, toilet bowl
Don’t ever have gin and tonic
Cause inebriation is quite ironic
When lost in your own home
 
Oh, toilet bowl
So accessible and cool
Forgive my 90 proof drool
Irony is about to surface

Oh, toilet bowl
We're no longer alone
I’m talking to Ralph
on your big white phone
He says he’s sorry

Oh, toilet bowl
My porcelain gold
If I may be so bold
Meet my bottom

Oh, toilet bowl!

Poem Details | by Johnette Loefgren |
Categories: funny, life,

On a Diet

sugar substitute
low fat carbohydrate free
feed it to the cat

Poem Details | by Joanna Davis |
Categories: culture, encouraging, family, food, funny, happiness, health, inspirational, life, people, uplifting,

Soul Food

Bagels and baguettes
Bap or fried bake,
The fruits of the flour
are easy to make

Chollah, chapatti, 
Cinnamon bun.
These global delights,
make eating such fun.

Filled with Caribbean sweet meat
like Guava jam,
Scottish smoked salmon; 
Or Danish roast ham.

Add a fresh fruit salad,
Some sparkling wine,
A candle, red roses and  
you’re ready to dine.

Joanna Davis

Poem Details | by Mark Goodson |
Categories: funny, health, life, hair,

The Wisdom of Wine and Gin

My hair has receded and my belly grown fat
There’s hair growing in my ears and I don’t like that
My joints ache all the day and I have troubles with peeing
I’m tired all the time and have glasses for seeing
Gravity has taken over putting life in a downward spin
No wonder I enjoy drinking a little wine and gin

Poem Details | by Arthur Vaso |
Categories: humorous, life, love, romance,

James Bond the Poet

Double oh Sevens
The gamble of dangerous men
Poets who carry guns
To shoot out the hearts
Of unsuspecting ladies
A single word, a bullet
That can wound or kill the love
Of any careless romance
Yet they fall at the feet
Of mystery and sweet words
And later in the evening
Tears flow from ladies of sadness
Left alone among the sheets of love
The Spy, he could save the world
Yet save not one single love
He grew old and alone
His last thought among the living
I die a lover, and never felt love