Humorous and funny Jobs poems and/or funny poems about Jobs. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Jobs funny poems!
Written by
Charlie Knowlton
Categories:
funny, jobs, work,
Senryu Traffic
bent over the wheel
the plumber rolls down his window
just a crack
Written by
Pat Adams
Categories:
humorous, identity, jobs,
What They Do
Carpet layers have to be on the floor
Deep sea divers love to go down
Computer gamers can't seem to stop
Taxi drivers are all over town
A dentist will do it till it hurts
A sailor sure likes a big swell
A hunter will do it with a bang
While a gymnast will dismount well
Lawyers reach into their briefs
A trash man holds on to his nose
Painters always use longer strokes
A ballerina stands on her toes
Salesmen have learned to use their mouth
While students try to use their head
The police will go on a big bust
And a maid always cleans the bed
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
career, funny, humor, hyperbole, jobs, success, work,
Will Do Chores
I can do this, I can do that
I can do anything, splicketty-splat.
I'm quite the expert, and certainly quick
Excellent service here, licketty-click.
Your toaster won't roast'er?
Your car needs repair?
I'll fix your teepee,
your sofa and chair
I'll cure your doggy
of fleas, lice, and pox
I'll wash your diapers,
your windows, your socks.
I'm inexpensive, and fast as a wink
Available any time, blinkity-blink.
Written by
Paula Goldsmith
Categories:
humor, imagination, jobs, life, night, school, summer,
School Story
Alphabet learned
Before school
Counting too
Doing homework
Everyday
Frustrations
Guided
Her
Imagination
Jump rope
Kicked and
Laughed
Mostly
Night dreams
On to
Prom
Queen crowned
Rest some
Summer is here
Tomorrow
U
Visit jobs
Working now
X-raying bones
Ya-hoo I made it
Zoom through life.
Date Written:5/20/022
Written by
Caren Krutsinger
Categories:
funny, jobs,
The Boss Is Coming
She is no Simon Le’gree, but she should be. It would be easier.
She is way too lenient, if you ask me.
But yesterday she was too strict.
Click. Click. Click.
Conversation ceases.
Act normal.
Sure. Yeah. Uh-huh.
Yes, that sounds fine. Sure, I can do that.
Click. Click. Click.
What did she want you to do?
Are you going to do it?
Never mind. It’s a bad idea, I do not have to take orders from her.
She is not really our boss anyway. She just thinks she …
Click. Click Click.
Okay, Mrs. B, sounds good. Sure, no problem.
Click. Click. Click.
Are you going to do it now?
Maybe.
Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
humorous,
Footle Odd Jobs
Complaining Hitman
Sniper
Griper
Internet Detective
Hacker
Tracker
Welcomers at Adulterers Anonymous
Cheater
Greeter
Umbrella-carrying Pilot
Drier
Flyer
Male Greeter
Hello
Fellow
Elderly Au Pair
Granny
Nanny
April 13, 2022
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
celebration, humorous, jobs,
Swagger
Ted breezed into the house like he owned the place
with an cocky smirk plastered all over his face
I know that look son; just tell me what you’ve done -
you’ve not robbed a bank and now you’re on the run’!
He puffed out his chest and strutted with a swagger
then jumped on the table and danced like Mick Jagger
He said, mum don’t fret, there won’t be a lynch mob -
I’ve just had an interview and got my very first job!
Swagger Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Line Gauthier
9/5/19
Written by
Bill Baker
Categories:
basketball, clothes, feelings, games, humor, jobs, loss,
Laughingstock
I made the bet on who’d win the game
the Bulls looked great; my team played quite lame
dressed in clown’s clothes
with a red clown nose
the whole office will laugh without shame
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
humorous, jobs,
Take This Job and Stuff It
I worked in a bowlin' place settin' pins,
Tryin' not to let a ball break my shins!
In those days of yore, pins were set by hand,
And you had to hustle to beat the band!
I was around fourteen when I was hired,
And was around fourteen when I was fired!
The boss man paid me fifty cents per hour,
'Til one night our relationship went sour!
I advised him where he could stuff the job!
Said he, "Find another line of work, Bob!"
Couldn't face workin' there 'til I retired.
Found work pumpin' gas when I was rehired!
8 November 2014 - Entry for Sara Hendrick's "Jobs" Contest
Written by
Timothy Hicks
Categories:
humorous, jobs,
Careful What You Wish For
There once was an ambitious man named Eddie,
who wanted a job in the traveling industry.
The genie granted his wish,
but Ed never expected this;
an employer's note saying, "Welcome to the DMV!"
Written by
Joyce Johnson
Categories:
funny
Jobs Wanted
The
American
Idle
won hm
Written by
Warner Baxter
Categories:
funny, hilarious, humorous, jobs, rude, society, star,
Hedgehog - Adult
I ONCE MET A MAN IN ****
WHO’S TOOL WAS BIGGER THAN CORN
NO TWITTER NOR BLOG
THEY CALLED HIM HEDGEHOG
HE HUFFED PUFFED AND BLEW HIS OWN HORN
Written by
Volodymyr Knyr
Categories:
business, funny, humorous, jobs, success, work,
The Best Job
Your own successful biz,
that's what your best job is!
Volodymyr Knyr
2014
Written by
James Fraser
Categories:
funny, girl, humor, imagery, jobs, people, places,
Lathered To Leathered
Hey barber, give me a shoe and a shine
As he's lathered he feels just fine
Then he views the shoe shiner
Wow, what breasts, nothing finer
My hands on them I wish they were mine
Young lady, let's spend time in a motel room
Get to know each other, vroom vroom
I'm married, och, you'll be fine
I'll pay, say your working overtime
You tell him, the barbers my groom
.
Challenged to write this based on a joke!
Written by
Timothy Hicks
Categories:
humorous, irony, jobs,
Daydreaming At the Pizzeria
She said it so matter-o-factly,
that girl, Morgan Kay Ackley.
"One day it will be so
I'll be rolling in the dough!"
But being a pizza maker what do you mean exactly?
NOTE: This was another funny story at work. Not exactly my joke, but I turned into a limerick for laughter's sake. A girl was telling me about how she's be famous one day... how she'll be "rolling in the dough"... and I was like, "aren't you doing that already?"... Ooohh good times they were... good times.
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
fishing, humorous, irony, jobs, time,
What Irony - a Real Fisherman's Tale
He wanted to go and catch scallops
gets into a boat called a shallops*
He didn’t look at the time
And had committed a crime
It’s into the court he now gallops
Five thousand pounds he’s now got to pay
A ‘timely’ error on the said day
This ‘scallop advisor’
Just should have been wiser
This fishy story won’t go away!
Poem based rather ironically on a TRUE story in the Manx press today
http://www.manxradio.com/news/isle-of-man-news/scallop-advisor-fined-for-illegal-fishing
*a little poetic licence about his boat but a Shallops is a sailing boat used for coastal fishing
15th January 2018
Written by
Warner Baxter
Categories:
body, dance, funny, girl, jobs, lust, sexy,
Downtown - Adult
DOWNTOWN WHERE GIRLS DANCE ON POLES
FOR A PRICE THEY’LL BARE THEIR SOULS
THEY’LL SIT ON YOUR LAP
YOU’LL GO FAP FAP FAP
UNTIL YOU LOOSE YOUR CONTROL
Written by
Gorlum Gorlum
Categories:
crazy, funny, health, humor, jobs, psychological,
Limerick: Shrinks, Part 2
Once attending professional course
Shrinks attempted to fix mind flaws
They gorged on cocaine
But primitive brain
Has failed to achieve sacred pause
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, jobs, word play,
Name Fame Bawdy - For Mike Gentile
A newbie has just hit the scene
She’s sassy, and sings like a dream
Her name kinda rocks
She’s called Fonda Cox
It’s perfect cos she’s a drag queen!
Thanks to Mike Gentile for his comment on my Poem of the Year poem, which has inspired me to write this one
05/17/22
Written by
Diane M Quinlan
Categories:
career, how i feel, humorous, jobs, work,
My Interview With Myself
career, how i feel, humorous, jobs, work
For Contest---
My Interview With Myself ©
Do you like yourself?
Yes better than most I know now!
Are you intelligent to learn the work?
I am best with ‘hands-on’ trial and error!
Would you hire yourself?
That is a hard question!
I would have to say yes and no.
What score would you be if given?
Out of ten being the highest?
I would say ‘mid-stream’
Well than you just drowned!
Didee/Diane M Quinlan
June 14, 2015
Written by
Warner Baxter
Categories:
blessing, funny, humor, jobs, prayer, satire,
The **** Star Prayer
Lord,
We do give thee thanks for the abundance
That is ours in glorious nudity
Even though some of it is saline
And some with silicon
Bless each and every one
~~~
Tell your mind what your body
already knows
~~
Understand this,
They wanna be you, they wanna be just like you
Because right now, you are the sexiest
Woman on God’s green Earth
Amen
?
NOTE: This piece is NOT about ***********, it is a satire, a humorous jab at
the Industry
Please enjoy with this in mind or skip over it completely Thank you
Written by
Henry Victor
Categories:
adventure, character, giggle, house, jobs, sound, wife,
Noise and Ooze
my commode has been making noise
that my wife tried to fix it
only to make it worse
and now it started leaking too
by the time i saw it
the washroom was flooded
and i’m no plumber to fix it
neither am i an idiot to avoid it
so, i did with manly mettle, mettle with it
and tightened, at the end, the right nut
for both the noise, and the ooze to prevent
we did leave home thereafter
i, carrying a washroom in ooze
while my wife, walking in perfect poise
Written by
Jerry T Curtis
Categories:
humorous, jobs, life,
Monster At Heart
I am just a Zombie
And I feel a little balmy
Until I get some coffee in me
Then I dress a little slummy
Kind-a like an ancient Mummy
As I sit and watch, morning TV
I'm just a monster at heart
When I scratch my scapula
I make a perfect Dracula
My arm, hiding half of my face
I look into the mirror and
I see a hairy man
Then shave until the Werewolf's erased
I'm just a Monster at heart
I'll never be on time
Walking like I'm Frankenstein
But I hate this stupid job anyway
So, I will be less physical
And make myself in visible
Then quit this job and just slip away
I'm just a monster at heart
Written by
Stephanie Allen
Categories:
funny, jobs, work,
Please Hold
“Thank you for calling….”
Is what’s trained to be said
But when they get irate and lewd
I feel like hanging up instead.
This person’s always right, that person’s never wrong.
Mr boss sir, your breath is oh so strong!
they’re mean and crass, just downright rude
I might just be naughty and get the big boss sued.
I give picture perfect smiles,
the really artificial Kind
Welcome and please come again,
you just died ten times in my mind
Just got off the last call and I don’t mean to be crude
But goodbye till tomorrow, the next complaint I’ll elude
A collaboration with Niketa McKenzie/Sean Solomon/Stephanie Allen
Written by
Bill Lindsay
Categories:
anger, career, change, funny, jobs,
I Didn'T Get the Job
Dear Sir or Madam,
I
am
afraid
that we
are not able
to offer you the
position, but we do
thank you for allowing us
to complete your background
check; it was absolutely hilarious.