Humorous and funny Jobs poems and/or funny poems about Jobs. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Jobs funny poems!
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
humorous, jobs,
Take This Job and Stuff It
I worked in a bowlin' place settin' pins,
Tryin' not to let a ball break my shins!
In those days of yore, pins were set by hand,
And you had to hustle to beat the band!
I was around fourteen when I was hired,
And was around fourteen when I was fired!
The boss man paid me fifty cents per hour,
'Til one night our relationship went sour!
I advised him where he could stuff the job!
Said he, "Find another line of work, Bob!"
Couldn't face workin' there 'til I retired.
Found work pumpin' gas when I was rehired!
8 November 2014 - Entry for Sara Hendrick's "Jobs" Contest
Written by
Volodymyr Knyr
Categories:
business, funny, humorous, jobs, success, work,
The Best Job
Your own successful biz,
that's what your best job is!
Volodymyr Knyr
2014
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
humorous,
Snow Job
Washington is to get a foot of snow!
That is nothin' new as far as I know.
I will shed no clamant tears.
They gave us snow jobs for years!
Methinks that a pertinent quid pro quo!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
Written by
Nitesh Aggarwal
Categories:
childhood, education, funny, teen,
Job Interview
There once was a boy, named Abdul;
Went to get a job, fresh out of school.
All dressed up like July,
With a bow and a tie;
But left his fly open, what a fool!
Written by
Ralph Taylor
Categories:
funny, mystery
Snow Job
Got a stupid question, driving me beserk!
The reason I am asking is, because I'm such a jerk
When we get lots of snow,
I'm curious to know,
how does the plow driver, make it in to work?
Written by
Ralph Taylor
Categories:
funny,
Worlds Toughest Job
I see the worlds toughest job, every night,
and the woman, that does it just right!
If you're wondering who can she be,
she appears on TV
It's none other, than "Wheels" - Vanna White!
Written by
Roland Fleming
Categories:
christian, faith, funny, god, happy, humorous, life, song, song-uplifting, work,
Quit My Job, Smashed My Car
Quit my job, smashed my car
My back does throb, need to learn guitar
So I can make, a silly song
And I can sing, it all day long
About how, my God is strong
So that even now, nothing’s wrong
Even though, I quit my job
smashed my car, my back does throb
Life is hard, but I’ve got God
So I won’t let any thought
Any worry or fear
Convince me you’re not near
Even when, I quit my job,
Smashed my car, my back does throb
Life is hard, but I won’t sob
I need to learn guitar
Written by
Poetprentice Dupins
Categories:
bible, creation, funny, irony, jesus, silly, work,
Dear Adam and Eve, You Had 1 Job, That's All
Work, work, work, work, work
Work, work, work, wor, wor
Wor, wor, wor, wor, wor, wo
Wo, wo, wo, wo, woe is us.
The irony of the fall of man:
Them yielding to Eden’s free and tempting fruit,
Now cursed us to labor for our fruit.
They should’ve had a hamburger.
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
fun, humorous,
The Right Tool For the Job
If I have a job to do I find a useful tool
For screwing in a screw I use a screwdriver
For banging in a nail I need a hammer
When I need something really hot I use a soldering Iron
When I want to remove wallpaper I use a stripper
If my tap is stuck and needs turning on I use a spanner
If I want to see sparks fly I use an electric screwdriver
If I want affection I head for my husband ….
He’s bound to have the right tool for the job
Jan Allison
10th July 2014
Written by
Poet. Undertaker
Categories:
humor,
Job Search
Once there was a man called Franklin Job
His finding “The more you sharp the easy the job”
For good drawing in pencil of doll
For rational thinking benefiting all
Bloody this guy is for fine- arts and nuts .crazy Job!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
body, how i feel, humorous,
Teenage Nose Job
Nose job
nasal piercing; yeuk!
more suitable for cattle
what a silly moo!
Written after I saw a teenager with a large metal ring through her septum. I can understand ear piercing but the thought of a stud or ring in my nose ... yeuk, but each to their own
3/7/18
Written by
Bill Lindsay
Categories:
anger, career, change, funny, jobs,
I Didn'T Get the Job
Dear Sir or Madam,
I
am
afraid
that we
are not able
to offer you the
position, but we do
thank you for allowing us
to complete your background
check; it was absolutely hilarious.
Written by
Ben Byrum
Categories:
career, clothes, funny, memory,
Job Fair Woesxxx
I showed up to a job fair
And was unaware of one fact.
This one fact lead to my demise,
Not to anyone's surprise.
I walked up to a company, shook a hand, and gave him my piece;
And what he said next did not put me at peace.
"Look down, young man, and zip up your pants."
I looked down, and what I saw put me in a trance.
White boxers exposed through that space -
I am just thankful the man showed me grace!
I zipped up my pants, shook his hand, and blended back in with the mob.
You probably know by now, but I did not get that job.
Written by
Cheryl Hoffman
Categories:
humor, weather, work,
His Weather Job
His new job required peppiness
and to be conscientious
with calculator in hand
running all over the land
counting pollen which was quite tedious
6-16-18
Written by
Nick Armbrister Jimmy Boom Semtex
Categories:
england, humor, jobs, work,
Crap Night Job
Crap Night Job
I was on the dole for a year plus when they gave me a job, a crap one on nights doing peace work. Get paid for what I did, I fell asleep on my first night. How boring!
Got fired on the spot. Back on the dole, what joy! Got a bollocking at the joke shop due to falling asleep, well you never listened to me would you, you cents. I can’t sleep in the day.
So I do my poem for you, how crap you all are. Buy my book and read about yourself. I suppose you’ll give me a crap job on days moving boxes from A-B but I don’t give a frig, it’ll pay for my vodka and tattoos.
And I’ll tell the lads of this poem for my crap night job and the cents at the joke shop!
Written by
Njeri Hunjeri
Categories:
humor, poets,
It's a Tough Job Being a Poet
Because
A poet
Has
More
Than
One
Job
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
humor, political,
Mister Trump's New Job
Trump quit his jobs at McD's flippin' beef
And drivin' a garbage truck both so brief
When Donald was asked why
He was quick to reply
Got my job back as Commander-In-Chief
Written by
Pat Adams
Categories:
character, humorous, imagery, people,
The Job Application
The Job Application
The application asked for responsibility
I wrote I am and my last boss would agree
All last year long
When it went wrong
He said the responsible one was me!
Written by
Caren Krutsinger
Categories:
10th grade, 11th grade, 12th grade, 9th grade, change, funny, jobs,
Gemini Seeks a New Job Daily
Gemini seeks a new job daily
In summer she might be a disc jockey or a landscaper
In winter possibly a substitute teacher or a nurse.
Fall is for growing pumpkins, so she becomes a grower.
Spring is for releasing dogs from pens, so you will find her
at the animal shelter.
If you cannot amuse her,
confuse her or bamboozle her,
you will not keep her long.
Gemini seeks a new job daily.
Written by
Muhammad Safa Thajudeen
Categories:
community, culture, fashion, humorous, jobs,
In Web My Job
Hunting for a theme in the jungle of mind a job,
Penning the themes into beautiful poems a job,
Copying,pasting and submitting each and every job,
Rating and commenting,not one two different jobs,
Winning or loosing but competing in contests a job,
Who said that,I do no job?
In a mess very heavy to handle,more not less my job,
From dusk to dawn engaged I in my job,
For a World wide,multi national,I'm doing job,
World wide Chinese,very smart in mob,doing all sort of jobs,
Chinese not given,what smart I'm performing job?
Who said that,I do no job?
I always engaged,no wage,web is the employer for my job,
Who said that,I do no job?
Written by
R J. Elless
Categories:
humorous,
Boob Job
It's Tit's
Which Tit's
Those Tit's
Switch Tit's
So, schedule a Doctor
Postpone the Benz
Two brand new Boob's
Are money well spent.
Written by
Cheryl Hoffman
Categories:
humor, work,
My Imaginary New Job Rescinded
I finally got my job being outside with mother nature
but my distractions put too many folks lives in danger
while sneezing and wheezing I'd hear a sudden "help!"
folks being chased by a moose or bear with a yelp
So my boss and I talked about the job issues
him telling me it has a lot to do with your tissues
I'm letting you go but it's your allergies I'll wager
making you not cut out to be a heroic forest ranger!
2-18-18
Written by
Cheryl Hoffman
Categories:
humor, work,
The Mummy's First Job
He pounded the pavement feeling crummy
his job outlook not very sunny
then he saw a sign
help wanted come inside
becoming a crash test mummy dummy.
10-22-17
Written by
Jodie Steward
Categories:
funny, on work and working, work, me,
Sour Job
Can't deal with this job no longer
Nor the constant daily stress,
Never much appreciation shown
Not even from customer's none the less.
Its always do this or that
No kindness do they show,
If only they could read my mind
How hard for work it is to go.
There's just to much to handle
I don't have a big enough crew,
All the responcibility and hassle
If only at first I had knew.
But i've given them my notice
Their wanting me to stay,
I told them their only option
Thats to give me more pay.
Don't beleive they will do it
WIth money their rather tight,
So, I'll shake their hand and smile
Say good luck finding Mr. Right.
Written by
Jimmy Anderson
Categories:
music, giggle,
My Job Is??
No need for a C.D.
You enjoy listening to me.
You giggle at my personality.
Inside a booth or a marquee.
My choice of music pure energy.
I make you move your body.
I set your spirit free.
No this is not an E.V;P.!