Humorous and funny Jesus poems and/or funny poems about Jesus. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Jesus funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Jesus Poems.
Poem Details | by
Dan Keir |
Categories:
allah, angel, angst, confusion, dream, education, faith, freedom, god, happiness, health, heaven, history, holocaust, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, jesus, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, miracle, nature, on writing and words, pain, peace, people, philosophy, political, prayer, recovery from..., religious, sad, spiritual, stress, success, sympathy, teacher, time, write,
Beauty of nature
Why condense it down to God?
Isn’t life enough?
Poem Details | by
Dan Keir |
Categories:
allah, angel, angst, courage, dream, education, faith, fantasy, fear, funny, god, heaven, history, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, jesus, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, love, miracle, mystery, nostalgia, on work and working, parody, passion, peace, people, philosophy, political, prayer, recovery from..., religion, religious, spiritual, stress, success, sympathy, teacher, time, write,
Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?
Poem Details | by
Poetprentice Dupins |
Categories:
bible, creation, funny, irony, jesus, silly, work,
Work, work, work, work, work
Work, work, work, wor, wor
Wor, wor, wor, wor, wor, wo
Wo, wo, wo, wo, woe is us.
The irony of the fall of man:
Them yielding to Eden’s free and tempting fruit,
Now cursed us to labor for our fruit.
They should’ve had a hamburger.
Poem Details | by
Deborah Turner |
Categories:
christian, funny, giggle, inspiration, inspirational, jesus, joy,
Look, to your left a pot of gold, this is not real.
Well, look to your right a pot of silver, this is not real also.
Then, look down money all around, this is not real.
On the other hand, Look! Look! Up at the sky Christ lives, now this is what is really real.
God Bless
Poem Details | by
Chukwuemeka Mbah |
Categories:
allah, allegory, angel, baptism, boyfriend, business, christian, devotion, funny, jesus, spiritual,
On earth on a Mission
purpose redefined with singleness of vision
clarity came cause i sat to look
through the pages of the book
Some days skipped with nothing to dine
some nights slept with nothing to wine
yet more nourished than a royal cook
for i am best fed from the pages of the book
When I lost focus and fell
drowning in the depths of the well
yet I was lifted by an unseen hook
as i flipped through the pages of the book
What about you my dear friend
when the terrestrial race comes to an end
and death vomits all that it ever took
will your name be found on the pages of the book
Poem Details | by
Vincent Caruso |
Categories:
faith, funny, mystery, parody, me,
Jesus, tell me what
heaven, hell, and God are like.
Like, quiz me on it.
Poem Details | by
Daniel Sweatt |
Categories:
blue, flower, funny, halloween, jesus, love, roses are red,
Roses are red, violets are blue, did you know that Jesus loves you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, on Halloween the ghost says boo.
Roses are red, violets are blue, what’s better, a red rose or a blue violet, anyone have a clue?
Roses are red, violets are blue, indeed every word in the Bible is true.
Roses are red, violets are blue, don’t forget to go to the store and get my Mountain Dew.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I am in quarantine with nothing to do.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I am out of rhymes but I will be back again in no time.
Poem Details | by
Just That Archaic Poet |
Categories:
christian, death, god, humorous, jesus, religion, satire,
I twice am Christ, self-loved and prized;
Above the Earth, to lift -Arise!
The Devil's deeds seem sweet indeed
(By them, truly, am quite enticed!)
A magic Martyr- now crucified,
To my own great feigned dismay
A Crown of Horns; the King of Lies!
(The Romans make such grand displays...)
If but one of you would thus believe,
Repeat the Gospel, and for me grieve
A lesson to learn should I not return:
There can be nothing that's good about being
misunderstood-
You could be nailed the same as me!
Poem Details | by
Dominique Webb |
Categories:
faith, funny, future, gender, god, history, time,
Jesus came along when the god meme had become dietary
The next step was to make god into a man, not a woman,
Where is Jessica?
Poem Details | by
Ann Foster |
Categories:
dog, friend, friendship, humorous, jesus, peace, trust,
Woof
Translated: small package
Four legs, four paws, big jaws,
fancy ears and a long tail.
My dog is from the pound.
What did I expect?
He is six foot at the shoulder,
Reads books, on Saturday nights.
But, sadly he won’t eat generic brand fudge cycles.
Only the best bunny ice-cream will do.
He was tiny really, just a bitty thing.
Slowly, slowly… Overnight! Life became all too real.
We laugh and talk, and it does not matter, now…
I work two jobs to bring home the bacon, and eggs and
chow and a cow, and, but still.
The surprise of my life, was a furry friend,
that gives more than I can.
God loves dogs,
big, and tiny, whiny small,
all.
Poem Details | by
Tony Bush |
Categories:
allegory, funny, people, philosophy, jesus,
I found Jesus in a cereal box,
flakes tumbled inconsistently,
pauses between each one,
and in one such pause fell
Jesus.
Shrink-wrapped, sermonising,
gape-mouthed,
prayer-clasped hands,
head-cocked
and bright haloed.
Sadly, I traded him
for he had less hit points
than Pikachu.
When all you receive
are scraps from the
table of life,
finding Jesus is no big deal,
when more hit points
are your real salvation…
Amen.
Poem Details | by
Alfonso II Warally Ngengethe Mussabwa Chris |
Categories:
12th grade, christian, education, humor, jesus, religious, student,
I remember when I was in school,
The weather was so cool
Our teacher of religion said," Jesus is God"
One pagan colleague objected ," He is not God."
Teacher was not happy to hear that word
Then I said loudly ," He is the Lord of lords."
All Christian students clapped their hands
Teacher was so happy and called her friends.
Jesus Christ is yesterday, today and forever
Our best teacher , strength, authority , power,
Our saviour, redeemer , Consolation,
Revelator, protection and solution.
We adore and worship Him daily
He is goodly , peacefully and kindly.
May 06/2023
Written for poetry contest
sponsored by Sotto poet.
Form: COUPLET
Poem Details | by
Tate Papworth |
Categories:
funny, humor, humorous, jesus, song,
Sneezing fit on the freeway.
Carrie Underwood's 'Jesus, Take The Wheel' playing on the radio.
It's nice when things work out.
Poem Details | by
John Beam |
Categories:
absence, allusion, christian, feelings, humorous, jesus, life,
a tasteless stone soup everyone puts in a stone offering nothing
Poem Details | by
Trevor Mcleod |
Categories:
angst, funny, love,
A girl for Jesus. A story untold.
Except for the rumor; he's kept and controlled.
An opposite lover; one evil I'm told.
Who keeps him in line with hands that are cold.
You're prayers keep him busy.
In answering each one.
Though it's really his honey.
He longs to be from.
So ask him forgiveness.
For everything done.
And wait for his answer.
That Several may come.
His time is not money.
Or luck as we know.
But a curse; to a cry; o'ver someone; to crow.
And if you feel sorry. Pitty him some.
Remember he loves her; no matter where from.
Behold a great halo.
Some say overdone.
For if you look closely.
Surrounding someone.
Poem Details | by
Beata Agustin |
Categories:
character, christian, faith, god, humor, jesus, perspective,
There was an infidel* in his vain mind
who accused God as unfair to mankind
along his schemer’s route
with awful gloomy pout…
then a blind child sharing gifts… he did find.
*1Timothy 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
March 4, 2021
Edited on February 21, 2023
5th place, "Put Your Best (ONE) Limerick Forward (be like Rico Leffanta)" Limerick Poetry Writing Contest
Sponsored by Andrea Dietrich; judged on 3/13/2023.
Poem Details | by
Rico Leffanta |
Categories:
humor, jesus, wine,
When Jesus turned water into wine
Some of the guests were heard to whine,
"It's such a waste
For us who taste!
Diluted Sherry is Philistine!"
n.b. Oenologist="wine snob"
Poem Details | by
Rico Leffanta |
Categories:
humor, jesus,
Jesus went to a Wishing Well
And flung a coin straight down to Hell
Then his wish came true:
The water turned blue
And temperatures cooled for a spell
(With Trump as our mentor,
it is SO easy to tell lies!)
Poem Details | by
John Beam |
Categories:
anti bullying, christian, humor, jesus, wisdom,
Do you know how to recognize a sheep from a sheep in wolf’s clothing? Look at its grin
Poem Details | by
Jeff Kyser |
Categories:
humorous, jesus,
When Jesus stopped in for a bite,
The barkeep near fell out with fright:
“I’ve got some goat cheese,
But no fish and chips, please!
Last time, that was it for the night!”
Poem Details | by
Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories:
hair, humorous,
The Good Book states that Jesus knows the number of hairs on your head,
And I assume He also knows the color be it blonde, purple or red.
I would also presume that His calculations are somewhat lessened over all,
Considering those members of His flock who are as bald as a bowling ball!
(Matthew 10:30 & Luke 12:7)
Poem Details | by
Vladimir Tumanov |
Categories:
bible, christmas, humor, humorous, jesus,
Some people possess the proclivity
to build every Yule a Nativity.
They illustrate praying,
portray homage paying.
That’s it. There’s no other activity.
Poem Details | by
Anil Deo |
Categories:
analogy, humor, jesus, science, wisdom, words, writing,
Common Wisdom is not really either. For example ..
1. Let the past bury the past
Can not be done that way.
Use funeral parlors, or celebrate a dead person's with memorial
When Jesus said similar words, "it was to rebuke a procrastinator, "Let the dead bury the dead." The living dead make much of human traditions including ceremonial matters. Real life is in God, his living word. Not in idols!
2. What goes around, cones around.
How much time you have?
If it's a shooting star, comet, quasar, or even an Everest climb, you need intervals at the very least.
Poem Details | by
Anil Deo |
Categories:
bible, business, god, humor, jesus, jewish, violence,
Why was Jesus a Leftist? please extrapolate.
In John 2, Jesus overturns the money-changers' tables
In Mark 11, and Matthew 23, He cleansed the Temple of trade
He got to the City, took a left turn, not right to Roman garrisons
Jesus made a left, upset trade, earned his stripes as a LEFTIST.
Smith Wigglesworth, on the Bible, the only book he learned to read at 23: "When I read the newspaper I feel dirtier than I went in. When I read the Bible I feel cleaner than I went in. And I like feeling clean."
Poem Details | by
Anil Deo |
Categories:
funny, funny love, hilarious, humor, humorous, irony, jesus,
I
I give thanks to The LORD six days a week. I forget which days I forget!
II
Little Jack Horner refused to sit in the corner: I may be little, he said, but I have a right to free pie