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Funny Poems About Iambic Pentameter
Humorous and funny Iambic Pentameter poems and/or funny poems about Iambic Pentameter. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Iambic Pentameter funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Iambic Pentameter Poems.
Poem Details | by
Jacob Cra |
Categories:
kids, funny, teacher,
I just can't stand poetry!
It badly boggles my brain!
I'm supposed to learn to rhyme!
But uck! You think I'm not sane?
I just can't stand poetry!
With its assonance and stuff!
"These three fleas fly in the breeze,"
I have really had enough!
I just can't stand poetry!
With metaphors I am through!
I'm becoming quite outraged!
A beast I'm turning into!
I just can't stand poetry!
Using similes? The worst!
I think we both can agree,
it's like being in jail! But worse!
I just can't stand poetry!
Personification's dumb!
I think my head will explode!
BOOM! Oww... that wasn't so fun!
I just can't stand poetry!
But I HAVE TO preach it... Grr!
I wish I had not applied
To be an English teacher!
Poem Details | by
Rob Carmack |
Categories:
animal, best friend, dog, humorous, love, pets, thanks,
Your dad, a Dachshund once stuck in Chihuahua.
The best of both in you, with that expectant
Confusing carpets for the lawn enigma.
I know….the raining….getting wet….you can’t.
As coldness chills the room, a sheet for you.
The perfect tucking of in, but you moved!
I ponder, just how crazy is my Boo?
The sheet’s thread count too low to be approved?
Your dance in circles, spinning on the floor.
Rewards and treasures known upon the racks.
Induced by meals and that one pantry door.
In such a fury, choking on the snacks.
I know what God’s book says, I’ve searched it whole.
But still, I hope you have a little soul.
11.14.14
Poem Details | by
Gene Bourne |
Categories:
allusion, confusion, dedication, emotions, feelings, first love, funny, funny love, humorous, relationship, social,
No, we weren't a couple one expected.
"What could she be thinking", one reflected.
Yet we held an undefined attraction;
Some subconscious neuron interaction.
After weeks we gathered our composure
Time to face my parents' first exposure.
True, your looks were just a bit off kelter(sic).
Poets often live at homeless shelters.
Mother stiffened, held her throat, and gasped.
Father never moved, in shock perhaps.
Then we vowed to do what we must do.
Freight trains leave at seven, ten and two.
Gene Bourne
03-19-14
.
Poem Details | by
Michael F Lewis |
Categories:
animals, funny,
The eucalyptus sting that burns my nose
And eyes is not enough to mask the tide,
Of eloquent free speech and purple prose,
Delivered from armchairs set side by side.
Although they are so far, they sound so close,
For sounds like ghosts traverse double wide.
From sounds within and noise without my room,
I toss and turn and find I cannot hide,
And from below the stench of death’s perfume,
From some wild thing (or tame) that lately died,
With pier and beam and axles for a tomb,
The lucky beast escaped the double wide!
Michael F Lewis
04/01/09
Poem Details | by
David Fisher |
Categories:
childhood, humorous,
I went to the Dentist to pull a tooth
And patiently sat in the waiting booth.
All the kids stared at my giant bucktooth;
Needless to say they were very uncouth.
My Dentist, who only worked on us youth,
With all her might pulled out a real shark tooth.
Honest, I’m not fooling; I’ll show you proof.
It’s the size of a great whites’, that’s the truth.
When I was done, I thought it’d be a goof
To show it to my mom, whose name is Ruth.
And don’t you know it she went through the roof,
Just like when I called her, long in the tooth.
Poem Details | by
David Fisher |
Categories:
food, funny,
One day, a convict got away, and went out on the lam.
And on the sly, he did buy, his very own kitchen cam.
Wanting to glow, in a reality show, though not a ham.
This jailbird, much preferred, to star in the Joy of Spam.
For Rhyme Battle contest
Poem Details | by
Bill Lindsay |
Categories:
feelings, funny love, passion, romantic,
Alone, she sat quite still,
her gaze full fixed ahead.
Enrapt by visions fed,
scarce breathing e’er she will
disturb perceptions’ fill; quiescent as tho’ dead.
Into the room he crept,
his probing arm around
her body, no more bound,
so quickly was she swept.
As fingers so adept, respiring without sound.
Too soon was reached his goal;
TV remote control.
Poem Details | by
Curtis Forsythe |
Categories:
humor, satire,
The moderns say iambic verse is dead-
to be cool you must write freestyle instead.
Iambic pentameter in rhyming verse
is targeted now as the very worst.
Even the Bard could not write this today-
and not have some trash him to his dismay-
though all formal poems and rhythmic feet
the mods now consider as obsolete.
Iambic rhyming verse is trite they say
badly outdated and has had its day.
Made the butt of jokes and slanderous mirth-
pendulums swing, it will have a new birth.
But it’s not how packaged that makes it right
or that makes a poem clichéd and trite.
Because it’s content that determines this-
iambic rhyme, free style, or any other tryst
Poem Details | by
Pang Xiong |
Categories:
funny, passion, romance,
Inspired by shall I compare thee to a summers day (Sonnet 18)
Shall I meet thee on a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely than my usual mate.
Rough winds do shake your darling buds of May,
But summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of Helen shines,
And often the shade of my deception dims;
But Helen’s keenly watching sight declines,
By chance, or God’s allowance of my whims.
But thy infernal summer shall soon fade
And lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
And death shall brag thou serv'est as his maid,
Thine face shall host eternal lines that grow’st
So long as man can breathe or eyes can see,
So shall fair maidens congregate to me.
Poem Details | by
Donald Meikle |
Categories:
confusion, funny, on work and working, on writing and words, parody,
What caused and made me try this cryptic voice
Did I or did I not have any choice
is Time so cruel to teasingly disgrace
The weaponry I choose to seal my fate
Silence is so easy to embrace and use
I could yet stay a shy reclusive muse
If not for this my desperate attempt
at words of rhymed intention
Alas Alack this stolen time
I'd saved to spend
in quiet contemplation
Poem Details | by
Ron Porter |
Categories:
funny
Her eyes drip down scorn
Like pus from running sores
Every word edged and barbed
To rip and rend and tear
She lives to laugh at suffering
But oh she has such pretty hair
Poem Details | by
Mariana Pavlich |
Categories:
animals, funny, people, pets, places, sea, seasons, sea, sea,
Whooosh! Brrrrr...icy!..North wind in a steady gale blowing hard.
Whipping up the green sea into a jade and white peaked frenzy.
The water turning to an ultramarine blue on the misty horizon
Dappled clouds echo a scaly sea pattern in the lavender sky .
The cool Winter sun shyly peeking through the cloudy canvas.
Walking with the wind a woman with a whippet braces bravely.
Facing the salt spray and a wild sea the wind carries her along.
Burnt sienna sponge corals daley with red rubber spike corals
Empty crab shells crunched under moon crescent horse shoes
Poem Details | by
Gene Garrett |
Categories:
funny
Spectacles
A blurry word is a pest,
a missed meaning a chore.
But lost specks are best,
when never found ever more.
And not spotted by my darling
perched up high in my mane
after an unrightously load roar
and a heaping pile of disdain.
Specs not found by my love
sitting atop my fuzzy head
is a gift from the heights above
That I pray for instead.
Poem Details | by
Frank Cravein |
Categories:
funny
Lazy is as lazy does
we all fight and die because
we're lazy people all the way
so get off the stupid couch today
Be like Gerad and lose some weight
eat low fat and stop the hate
do your laundry, mow the grass
or I'll come and kick your ... butt!!!
Poem Details | by
Sara Kendrick |
Categories:
funny,
Meter, meter I am going to meet her
See her, see her, I am going to see her
Greet her, greet her, I am going to greet her
Treat her, treat her, I am going to treat her
Please her, please her, I am going to please her
Leave her, leave her, I am going to leave her
What kind of meter is this would you say?
I guess the fickled kind....
Poem Details | by
Sarah Cassleman |
Categories:
fantasy, funny
If you rub my lamp,
You might get a cramp.
Three wishes I give you,
Nothing like voodoo.
First wish,
just not a fish.
Second way,
Nothing to betray.
Third is a charm,
But not to disarm.
The way these work,
I'm not a clerk.
There's nothing I wouldn't do,
Since when is a genie blue?
Poem Details | by
Dale Gregory Cozart |
Categories:
humor, poetry,
How can I write one?
Syllablistic seizures
crouch in dark corners.
Poem Details | by
Sarah Cassleman |
Categories:
funny
Deception stuck
Just my luck.
Money I still ponder
And yet I will wonder.
Something seems phony
But it's not the alimony.
What alimony?
Was his testimony.
Poem Details | by
Frank Cravein |
Categories:
funny
One whole in the top and two in the other,
Always given by your mother.
Silk or cotton, you’ll never know,
Yet you’ll never want to show.
They can be warm or breezy free,
High on your thigh or down to your knee.
Wear them inside or by the dock sirs,
You guessed it right, they are your boxers.
Poem Details | by
Curtis Forsythe |
Categories:
angst, humor,
Murphy and His Law
Murphy’s Law, one might recall
expressed in simplest form-
states if failure is possible to befall-
it eventually will and that’s the norm.
I have personally tested Murphy’s Law-
so to this much I can stipulate-
it has to be responsible for all,
more so even than simply fate.
For me it seems change is inevitable-
except from a vending machine-
and either/or choices turn out regrettable-
although the odds to be right are even.
As for Murphy’s Law I can see no reason
why it was passed or is even needed-
so I am thinking maybe to start a petition-
demanding the damned thing be repealed.
Poem Details | by
Asif Andalib |
Categories:
children, funny, science, uplifting
Sing: Techno Boy! Techno Boy! Techno Boy!
He only creates and doesn’t destroy!
Here comes the super-truper Techno Boy!
Sing: Techno Boy! Techno Boy! Techno Boy!
All gadgets and sci-fi things are his toy!
Here comes the super-truper Techno Boy!
Sing: Techno Boy! Techno Boy! Techno Boy!
The smiley face who gives people only joy!
Here comes the super-truper Techno Boy!
Poem Details | by
Donald Meikle |
Categories:
funny, parody, passion, people,
A twice a two ton quantity to strain
Of qualities of mercy self contained
It rested somewhat royally for years
Enthroned in hearty comfiture of tears
A tribute to the reigning god above
In shards of unrequited love
Blest twice or thrice or was it four
Before it spilt onto the floor
A flood of rhyme in timely spacing words
Bursting at the seams on wasted nerds
Who spend their lives in endless recitation
Finding meaning so demeaning
Without any hesitation
And finding as they wallow
It gets ever hard to swallow
Why Lawd o’mercy me
It’s so absurd