Funny Horse Poems - Funny Poems for Life

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Humorous and funny Horse poems and/or funny poems about Horse. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Horse funny poems!

Written by Mike Martin
Categories: horse, humor, humorous, summer, sun, sunset,

The Gift

Deep in the wilde of the Cypress mound on the lower Graburn run
The air is cool and clear by far for the eye of the setting sun

A ride along the turning valleys sight above the plain
The break of eve the sun is sank the day all ends aglow

Made for all by the hands of many of earth and tree and branch
Unwaving hospitality Historic Reesor Ranch

www.facebook.com/historicreesorranch

Written by Sara Kendrick
Categories: animals, funny, imaginationcar, car, horse,

Three Hundred and Fifty Horses

There was a man who had a horse
Means of friendship and transportation of course
Everywhere the man did go horse was there for show
This horse began old to grow

To the used car lot the man did go
Selecting a car with many horses you know
Not knowing it was a lemon he bought
Now on the car he constantly sought

Parts to replace what would not go and
On one side the man would stand
Peering into the broken car with plan
On a stump on the other side

The horse would stand trying to guide
His friend on where the problem did lie
Also he was studying the working parts
Trying to figure out how all those horses fit inside

Written by Michael Wise
Categories: family, food, horse, humorous,

My Sweet Aunt Mabel

There is my sweet Aunt Mabel
sitting across the table
ever since her divorce
she eats like a horse
so we put her up in a stable

Written by Kim Rodrigues
Categories: dance, funny,

WE LL RIDE A HORSE DOWN ROCKY PATH

We’ll Ride a Horse Down Rocky Path

We’ll ride a horse down rocky path
Fall in love in the aftermath
Well do-si-do and do it right
Me and honey can dance all night

Roll away to a half sashay
‘neath the moon’s where we’re apt to stay
We promenade around fig leaves
with rolled up jeans and shorter sleeves

Hanging out in the doghouse tree
I circle left and she don’t leave me
Promenade with a giddyup
Be home in time for kiss-make-up.

Allemande left as we make things right.
all things beautiful, all things bright.
Weave the ring, a forever link
All ‘lone till life turns blue and pink

Written by Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories: horse, humorous,

A Horse-A Horse: My Kingdom For a Horse

A horse!  A horse!  My kingdom for a horse!

Wast penned by The Bard of Avon of course!

Richard's steed Surrey lay dead

Slain by a crossbow 'tis said

Dick pled for another 'til he was hoarse!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved

(Not for the contest)

Written by Reginald Telemacque
Categories: hilarious, horse, metaphor, race, sexy, sports, word play,

Horse Racing

She opened her legs then hopped up on it

She gripped it tight then sat down on it

He started to move so she began to ride it

She loved the feeling cuz she enjoyed it

She pulled out the whip to show that she was master

And when she swung it he began to go faster

She started to scream at the top of her voice

For the way he made her feel her voice got so hoarse

After a thirty minute run he started to tire

For this horse was no longer young he was ready to retire

Written by Arthur Vaso
Categories: abuse, bird, dream, horse, humorous,

To Tame a Shrew

TO TAME A SHREW


Tunke Tunke Tunke
I dragged her along and into the trunk
Clunk clunk clunk, 
I hear some screaming from the Tunke

I drove away, in my brand new Lex
Avoiding both grammar and spelling checks
Safely away, I saved the day
Off I am to the road by the bay

Tunke Tunke Tunke
Her crass verse I too stuffed in the trunk
Drunk drunk drunk
How else does one explain a skunk in the trunk?

So by the bay, I opened me trunk
Someone is gonna be going for a dunk
I unloaded the cargo chapter and verse
At the bottom of the lake let’s see her converse

Written by Timothy Hicks
Categories: character, child, funny, horse,

Haiku 44

This haiku has been deleted due to possible publication.

Written by Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories: humorous,

Charlie Horse

There once was a feller named Charlie Horse,

   Who was unmercifully teased of course.

      But he took it all in stride,

         With a modicum of pride,

            Damning his zany name 'til he was hoarse!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved

Written by Mark Toney
Categories: fun, horse, humorous, poetry, word play,

Hipster Cowgirl and Cowboy

Woman
Whoa, man!

Written by Kim Shaw
Categories: horse, humor,

Lord Fartwither's Horse

I must pity Lord Fartwither's horse

as it struggles to just stay the course

both his nostrils he flares

as he bites and he glares

For Lord Fartwithers butt was the source!

Written by Pam Deremer
Categories: fun, horse, humor,

Carousel

loud organ music plays


painted horses mounted on poles


buy a ticket to ride


            P.R.Deremer

Written by T Wignesan
Categories: crazy, humor,

Limerick: Once a Dark Horse In a Handicap

Limerick : Once a Dark Horse in a handicap

Once a Dark Horse in a handicap
Led head, tail and hoof in the last lap
All eyes on winning post
Cameras clicked the most
Horse lost in the negative, so clap !

© T. Wignesan – Paris,  2013

Written by Just That Archaic Poet
Categories: baby, fun, horse, humorous, marriage, words,

The Fool

Naught to say I shan't disparage
A cherub in its stroller
Laugh at married horse-drawn carriage: 
Denounce a Holy-Roller!

Point my fingers in their direction,
And have a hearty chuckle!
In Truth it is my own reflection-
One which leaves me puzzled...

No one should suffer ridicule,
By the words bled from my tongue...
But in the end, I am the Fool
Who should never make the fun!

Written by James Edward Lee Sr.
Categories: analogy, animal, food, funny, metaphor, poetry,

Donkey Horse Hen Rooster On the Lamb Chickens Leap Fly Jump Popeye's Chicken For Lunch

There once was a donkey
He was married to a horse
Donkey was to stubborn
So the donkey got a divorce

Cleaver was the ways of the hen
She married a bucking rooster
He took her by the wing then
Tried to seduced her

Don't want no green eggs N ham
Don't want to go on the lamb
I am, I am horsey running away
Chickens can't fly they may leap and jump
Think I'm gonna have Popeye's Chicken for lunch, :) ha! ha! Ha!

4/11/18
WRITTEN BY JAMES EDWARD LEE SR.

Written by Roy Pett
Categories: funny, hello, horse, ireland, race,

Grey Diamond

There was a young jockey from Ireland 
Booked to ride the race horse, grey diamond
he wanted to be seen
painted grey diamond green
and kissed the Blarney Stone for Ireland.

15/03/2017.

Written by Allié-Marie Smith
Categories: funny, roses are red,

Poor Horse

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Horses that lose races
Are turned into glue

Written by Robert A. Dufresne
Categories: funny, horse,

Thoughts By a Horse Owner

Thoughts by a Horse Owner

A farmer milks a cow for all it’s worth …but
    a horse milks a farmer for all he’s worth!

Horses are an expensive proposition to say the least.
Try lavishing your love on another beast.
When you look upon a star and make a wish,
much cheaper to buy a little goldfish.
then if you can’t afford it
when your dream comes true,
just flush it down the loo.
Or if you’re into recycling, eat the little guy…
And for crying out loud,
quit wishing towards the sky!


Answer to Doris Culverhouse’s invite for a silly poem.
There you go Doris! : )     ...(but I mean it!)

Written by John Williams
Categories: funny,

My Jenny Horse

Now I think I have to concede
My Jenny horse eats too much feed,
Loves her chaff, loves fresh grass,
But through the barn door she can't pass,
Clearly a case of food stampede..

Written by Kate Moore
Categories: funny,

Trojan Horse

Black and white, in a line

Some are heavy, some are fine

Changing, creeping, cunning

Smoothly, quickly, running

Some are found, some are not

Isn't safe- destroy the lot

 

Poem written about a manual DOS scan to find Trojan virus ;)

 
My  brain is literally just full of poetry. I mean who the hell writes a poem about a Trojan while their computer is scanning?? Me.

Written by Doris Culverhouse
Categories: funny, holidaytree, tree,

Gift Horse(Second Hand Christmas Tree)

Christmas tree full of lights
What is the problem with your center?
darkness, darkness just like nights

starless, lightless tree center
unholy curses escape, unholy lips
murderous thoughts enter

branches remove and assemble tips
try and connect an electrical
circuit, help, help light the eclipse

unoriginal, typical, abnormal deal!!