Humorous and funny Heart poems and/or funny poems about Heart. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Heart funny poems!
Written by
A.O. Taner
Categories:
beautiful, beauty, courage, cute love, dark, deep, depression, desire, destiny, devotion, dream, first love, funny love, grief, happiness, heart, heartbreak, heartbroken, how i feel, i am, i love you, i miss you, innocence, irony, jealousy, lonely, longing, loss, lost, love, love hurts, miss you, missing, missing you, night, passion, psychological, romance, romantic, sad, sad love, silence, sky, sleep, solitude, sunset, true love,
Red Light
have you ever felt like
the flashing red light on the roof,
lonely as ever
visible at night, useless by day?
in sync with its partner next door
for a quick kiss over a few flashes only
then arguing again and again
night in, night out.
have you ever felt like
the flashing red light on the roof,
not signaling a warning to keep away
but sending a call for compassion?
using the dark pauses in between
to yell the same name
over and over and over
into the emptiness of each night.
have you ever felt like
the flashing red light on the roof,
being your silent cry
only heard by your eternal love?
Written by
Mark Pringle
Categories:
allegory, funny, lost love, heart, heart,
Once Upon a Happenstance
Once upon a happenstance
I gazed, a look, and paused in trance
To dream upon a crystal palace
Her heart aglee and form to chalice
With towers true and field in view
I set a course to give tongue to
I crossed the field - anxiety smote
And walked upon this palace mote
Yet, as I firmed, my heart to pour
She drew the bridge and bolted door
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, i miss you,
To the Poet Who Broke My Heart Dw
We were ‘married’ on poetry soup
I kept my hubby right in the loop
I still rue the day
That you went away
I need to dry my tears and regroup
Loved your humour right from the start
I miss you with all of my heart
Want you to come back
Get you in the sack*
Then they’ll never tear us apart!
* In case you are wondering … Darren and I are simply amazing friends and this is a cheeky line from one of the last mails he sent me in October.
I miss you my lovely friend
2nd February 2015
Contest: A Valentine Limerick SKAT A
Written by
Donal Mahoney
Categories:
heart, sick,
Funny As a Heart Attack
A group of older men gather
once a week to talk about life
after a heart attack.
Old Len chews tobacco still
and tells jokes in a voice so low
no one can hear the punch line.
Another man asks Len
to talk louder so they all
can hear the punch line.
That’s when they discover
Len's been telling the same joke
at every meeting, over and over.
The joke’s about a loan officer
who lends a man $10,000 for a
face lift that turns out so good
the lender can’t find him.
With heart attacks in common,
the men yell “Tell it, again, Len!”
Donal Mahoney
Written by
Sara Kendrick
Categories:
funny, lovebody,
The Heart Carved On the Tree
There was a lady that I once knew
She met her love she felt was true
He carved their initials into a tree
As she leaned closely on his knee
Trouble in paradise soon they learned
When her initials he wanted to burn
Her middle name he did not know
Until on the tree he wanted to show
Her initials spelled a body part you see
For her name was Linda Elaine Greene
When he burned it into the tree
He was concerned exactly what would be
When also carved his name into the tree
His name spelled a body also you see
For his name was Armond Raymond Moran
Now what was seen Leg Loves Arm so he ran
Written by
Gail Foster
Categories:
bird, heart, humor, irony, love, myth, pain,
The Gift of Eros
The Gift of Eros
Aloft flies Eros; mischief fluttered wings
With silent rustle whisper overhead
By arrows pierced; the hearts of knaves and kings
The chilly grave, the restless lover’s bed
Blue London air, red Piccadilly light
Above the shifting crowd and constant noise
In summer heat, in neon and the night
He aims his slender bow with perfect poise
Aloft flies Eros; underneath his feet
As shadows of the Circus slowly shift
I contemplate my own love, bitter, sweet
The wound that Eros wrought in me, the gift
And as I turn my tears up to the sky
A pigeon drops an arrow in my eye
by Gail
Written by
Bill Baker
Categories:
friend, funny, heart, love, relationship, romance, romantic love,
Looking For Love
looking for love, in all the wrong places
don’t just look at all the pretty faces
look at their heart, make sure they’re real
sometimes a friend is the best deal
quit trying so hard to round the bases
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
heartbroken, humorous, poetry,
You Broke My Heart
I wrote the perfect poem, and I double-checked each line
The imagery was stunning, the picture painted was divine
My face broke into a smile with the glowing comments I received
But when I saw the ‘winner’s list’ I found my eyes were deceived
There was a massive void where my name should have been
How could the premiere contest sponsor be so bloody mean!
Contest You Broke my Heart
Sponsored by Nicola Byrne
02~11~17
Written by
Joe Flach
Categories:
funny, heart, heart,
What a Way To Go
Of course it would involve making love
If I had to choose the way that I would die
Fornicating until my heart gives out
Is something I might like to try
The mortician might have a job to do
In trying to fix the smile stuck on my face
And the cause of death on the certificate
Might result in a little disgrace
But alas, my heart seems to last much longer
Than the other required part for this act
But I am willing to keep on giving it a try
And on that you can bet as a fact
Written for the "Die A Fun Death" contest.
Written by
Regina Mcintosh
Categories:
heart, hope, humor,
Hope Remains
Hearts alive, thriving, surviving
In shadows they heal from their pain
Hearts arrive, striving, reviving
Hidden by the hopes which remain
YOUR BEST FOUR-LINE LIGHT VERSE, NO. 2 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: L MILTON HANKINS
August 24, 2021
Written by
Smail Poems
Categories:
age, angel, baseball, beauty, butterfly, caregiving, celebration, character, child, father daughter, feelings, film, fishing, flower, football, children, for her, friend, fun, funny, gender, girl, girlfriend, giving, graduation, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, growing up, growth, hair, happiness, happy, health, heart, hero,
Princesses
Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!
Written by
Jimmi Canada
Categories:
graduation, growing up, heart, history, humor, marriage, mentor, mirror, muse, myth, spiritual, spoken word, thank you,
Walk
A bulging extremity,
a feminist integrity,
a swaggering centipede,
the cops arresting me,
my dick the right size,
the bang coming out of your eye's,
the sensitivity upon demise,
the dew and dripping from the sky's,
the eagerness of eloping,
the magnitude of doping,
the honesty of groping,
scattering scorpions glowing and scoping.
Written by
Emma Anonymous
Categories:
funny, love,
Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
Absence makes
the heart grow fonder
to those closer
not those yonder
Written by
A.O. Taner
Categories:
beautiful, cute love, dedication, desire, destiny, devotion, emotions, encouraging, funny love, girlfriend, grief, heart, heartbreak, heartbroken, how i feel, i love you, i miss you, innocence, kiss, love, love hurts, math, meaningful, miss you, missing, missing you, nice, passion, recovery from, romance, romantic, sad love, senses, sensual, symbolism, together, true love, voyage, wisdom, woman, word play,
4 Love
Love is a four letter word
she whispered into his ear,
So is four, as is word
he whispered back into her fear,
Such is "you and I"
cried his heart - she could hear,
Their cheeks hugged, eyes kissed
each shedding a single tear.
Written by
Anthony Scandrick Ii
Categories:
angel, beautiful, beauty, caregiving, childhood, confusion, courage, dark, daughter, death, dedication, depression, devotion, dream, faith, fear, forgiveness, freedom, friendship, girlfriend, grief, happiness, hate, heaven, hope, humorous, imagination, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, love, miracle, passion, peace, relationship, romance, romantic, sorrow, sorry, stress, sympathy, uplifting, heart, hate, hate, heart,
Never Take Hate Outside
When you're hurt inside,
And there's no where to hide,
And there's no one on your side,
And it's killing your pride,
Inside,
Never take hate outside,
When your heart is chocking,
The heavy words never spoken,
The things that hurt you inside,
When love has died,
Inside,
Never take hate outside,
When your heart is gone,
From being alone,
And it beats a solemn tone,
When you're cold inside,
It's only a short ride,
Never take hate outside
Written by
A.O. Taner
Categories:
betrayal, boat, change, computer, confusion, cool, crazy, cute love, emotions, fantasy, funny, funny love, heart, heartbroken, hello, irony, light, loneliness, lonely, lost love, love, love hurts, parody, relationship, river, romantic, sad love, satire, soulmate, voyage, wisdom,
Boat
I had my heart put on auto-pilot,
set to navigate towards you;
the low-battery signal just came on,
I don't know what to do.
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
break up, future, hope, humorous, relationship,
Vacancy To Fill One Lonely Heart - For Contest
My Ex Husband:-
Lied to me
Was often drunk and violent
Belittled me
Spent all my money
Ran off with my best friend ...
HE’S FIRED!
Position is now vacant
the new applicant needs to be:-
Honest
Teetotal and gentle as a lamb
Stand by me through thick and thin and not put me down
Solvent enough to buy me the odd bunch of flowers or an orchid
Loyal – (the only real friends I have left are male!)
If you think you can fill this position ...
YOU’RE HIRED!
Contest: The Interview – Judy Konos
7th June 2015
Jan Allison
Written by
Richard Lamoureux
Categories:
heart, humor, lonely,
A Penny For Your Thoughts
I searched for a Penny
So I could hear her thoughts
Sadly there weren't any
My heart was left in knots
Perhaps a wooden Nickle
Or maybe a thin dime
Would help me in a pickle
So this girl could be mine
I was determined to pass Buck
For he seemed to have her ear
He possessed that Irish luck
So I cried in my green beer
This girl I wanted to hold
Was enamored with his gold
"Penny for your thoughts"
"Don't accept any wooden Nickles."
"All he had was one thin dime"
"The Buck stops here"
"Luck of the Irish"
"The one who has the Gold gets the girl!"
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
car, eulogy, humor,
''sicilia'' Your Breaking My Heart Or His Final ''Hit''
Filled plate of grilled tortellini
Killed the great James Gandolfini
This star's carcass heavy
A Ford or a Chevy
Should have been a Lamborghini
Written by
Barbara Gorelick
Categories:
family, funny
Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
very nice to me
lived far across the country
the perfect distance
Barbara Gorelick
for Dr Ram's "in-laws" contest
Written by
Jaquay Atkins
Categories:
addiction, anniversary, anxiety, art, baby, beautiful, beauty, blessing, boyfriend, class, confidence, conflict, desire, destiny, devotion, education, environment, faith, fantasy, fate, feelings, for her, fun, funny love, future, giggle, girlfriend, happiness, heart, heaven, life, light, loneliness, lonely, lost, lust, magic, strength, stress, sweet love, symbolism,
I Love You
Often, I have uttered these words to myself
Your feminity has entranced my manhood
My vision is focused on your subject matter
A quick study of a woman's psychology
I feel you with my mind, and touch you with my eyes
Senses are heightened in your very presence
Soon, I will utter the ultimate words of encouragement
Constant admiration for your hidden strengths
Instant chemistry between us has changed our biology
Soon, I will hold you tight and recite the following;
Baby, I love you
Written by
Cindi Rockwell
Categories:
adventure, funny, heart,
Never, Always, Sometimes
I never ate a dinosaur,
Though I have always felt the call.
Sometimes I crave that giant beast
Like some wild Neanderthal.
I never yet have had false teeth.
I should be more thankful, I'm sure,
But sometimes at my granny's house
Denture humor make us all roar!
I never jumped from an airplane.
I always found jumpers quite mad!
The plane's not falling, pilot good,
Sometimes for small blessings be glad!
I never told my mom good-bye.
I'll always regret that mistake.
Won't meet again til some time's passed
A future for bygones to make.
Written by
Jerica Sanchez
Categories:
boyfriend, care, dedication, devotion, faith, first love, for her, for him, gender, girlfriend, happiness, happy, heart, heaven, home, house, how i feel, humor, husband, i love you, imagination, inspiration, inspirational, kiss, longing, love, marriage, miss you, missing, poems, poetry, romance, romantic, together, words,
Forevermore
When I hear your name
My heart beats faster than usual
It's not that I am ashame
But It's just your name is too special..
Can't control the feelings
When I am with you
Can't stop smiling
When you hold me like you do
When you hug me then
I feel like I'm in heaven
You are a blessing from above
And you are the reason why I loved
I'll promise to love you FOREVERMORE..
And I will cherish you until the end of my borrowed life
And I will keep our precious memories as long as
we see each other in our next life..
Written by
Michelle Born
Categories:
change, emo, gothic, heart, hilarious, mirror, poetry,
Miserable
There are times some mat be some what miserable
To me my life isn't bad enough to say it is terrible,
I am happy and blessed with my whole world
Those whom are not happy always live in turmoil,
Misery loves company they always say
yes it is sad that others do feel this way,
My heart goes out to those but, they have to be the ones wanting to change
The negativity they have in their souls needs to be rearranged.
Written By: Unique Poetry 2015
Written by
A.O. Taner
Categories:
analogy, beautiful, beauty, break up, change, cheer up, confidence, dedication, deep, desire, destiny, feelings, for her, forgiveness, happiness, heart, hope, how i feel, humanity, humor, humorous, i love you, i miss you, imagination, inspiration, life, loneliness, longing, lost love, love, love hurts, meaningful, passion, peace, relationship, romance, romantic, sad, sad love, sensual, silence, soulmate, sunset, uplifting, woman, women,
Bright Night
the shadows of hope grow taller
on the fields of yearning souls
gently surrendering to destiny
as a bright night softly falls