Humorous and funny Fruit poems and/or funny poems about Fruit. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Fruit funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Fruit Poems.
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous,
A busty young lady from Peel
Her boobies she couldn't conceal
They were such a huge size
That she won a first prize
For the fruit men most wanted to feel
7th April 2015
I made a bit of a boob on the 2nd line - thanks Paul Callus for your advice
Poem Details | by
Fritz Purdum |
Categories:
fruit, fun, humorous, silly,
For hamburgers hotdogs and french fried potatoes
add the sweet savory sauce a gift from tomatoes
Ketchup Ketchup pour it thick
for bland foods it does the trick
Scramble eggs just to plain
Ketchup adds that sweet tang
Steak a little too dry
that's when ketchup applies
Try adding ketchup in your sauce
topping meatloaf it is boss
Beautifully red rich and thick
Ketchup is foods favorite condiment
For finger foods a tasty dip
so yummy you smack your lips
Ketchup is a sweet sensation
taste buds crave with anticipation
That magic that ketchup brings
is that flavorful wonderful zing
Poem Details | by
Doreen Ambrose |
Categories:
funny, me, me,
(A Co-worker)
Stop hatin' on me you ole crow,
Why don't you give me what you owe-
Me and that is respect you old coot,
Don't you know that I know that crows
Only pick at the best fruit,
It's as if you can see my future better than I can,
That is why you are acting like a twisted fan,
All out of control and down right vindictive,
Usually that kind of behavior is indicative,
Of someone who is jealous hearted and bitter,
Misery loves company and baby sitters,
I wish you would quit slandering my name,
You have had your fifteen minutes of fame,
Stop hatin' on me you ole coot,
Don't you know that I know that crows
Only pick at the best fruit.
Poem Details | by
Linda Alice Fowler |
Categories:
fruit, funny, humorous, kiss, lust, sleep, woman,
Snow White took an unladylike bite
of a big red apple polished bright
she snoozed quite a while
he kissed her with guile
and they shared an afternoon delight
Poem Details | by
I Am Anaya |
Categories:
fruit, funny,
Bananas
Here come the sailors of the Seventh Fleet
With their bananas ripe, ready to eat
The ladies, they like them firm
Musty one’s make them squirm
Why can’t liberty always be so sweet!
Limes
They’re green and round not yellow and curvy
Bruised or mushed never—topsy turvy!
Peeled back skin often slimy
Best citrus fresh and limey
Sailor lime-juicer’s sucked to cure scurvy
Poem Details | by
Brenda Mcgrath |
Categories:
fruit, funny, tree,
I check my little lemon tree every day with delight,
The new baby lemons are just growing out of sight.
The lemon tree lives on my patio and loves the sun,
And picking those giant lemons is such fun!
The last one picked was like a grapefruit, huge in size,
And the wonderful taste it did not compromise.
The luscious lemon went on facebook for my friends eyes,
Then it had a date with a pie, and met its demise.
Poem Details | by
Doris Culverhouse |
Categories:
funny, inspirational
Words
Spoken
From the heart
Harshness melted
Praise
Poem Details | by
David Fisher |
Categories:
fruit, funny, math,
We planted a gross of strange, cube shaped fruits
Below the soil, then waited for shoots
When summer was through
Only twelve grew
Which is what you get when you plant, square roots
Poem Details | by
Kudzai Mhangwa |
Categories:
food, fruit, fun, funny,
Zesty droplets on my tongue
Setting a blaze of many flavours
Lively explosions on in my mouth
Poem Details | by
Arthur Vaso |
Categories:
fruit, funny, humor, humorous, myth, nature,
Am I Nuts?
Chestnuts don’t grow on chests
Walnuts don’t grow on walls
Peanuts don’t come from peas
Cashews come from the fruit on trees
Pecans don’t come from peacock feathers
Pistachios fall from Pinocchio’s nose
Hazelnuts relax in the hazy sun
Macadamias are MacDonald’s big Mac nuts
Almonds are singing nuts, called the Almond Brothers
Acorns come from the unicorns tusk
Nuts are nature’s ways of making sure
We all have a little fun
The biggest nut there ever was
Surely you can see
Is the Nutty Arthur Vaso
Whom wrote these verses three
Poem Details | by
David Fisher |
Categories:
fruit, funny,
There once was a gal from Jebruit
Whom I heard knew how to mend fruit
I gave her a lemon
That she started hemmin’
But got it back in a lime suit
Poem Details | by
Reynaldo Mast |
Categories:
beautiful, beauty, creation, drink, fruit, humor, humorous, wine,
Glittering Purple
So pretty it is so sweet
Fruit of history
Glittering Purple
So pretty it is so sweet
Taste of memory
Glittering Purple
So pretty it is so sweet
Drink from grape it wines
Poem Details | by
Barry Stebbings |
Categories:
dance, fruit, humor,
You Can Never Dance A Tango With A Mango
You can never dance a Tango With a Mango
And the Damson is a drama in the Jive.
And the Grapefruit you can bet
Has not done the Rhumba yet
And that a Kumquat does the Foxtrot
Is entirely false.
The Samba when in season can be entirely pleasin’
But the Mango cannot Tango or dance the Waltz.
10/19/17
For 'Daft' contest by Kevin Shaw
Poem Details | by
Bl Devnath |
Categories:
fruit, funny,
mass of flesh
covered by grey skin
with small eyes
kitchen queen
of vegetables
house wife's choice
Poem Details | by
John Williams |
Categories:
fruit, funny,
I wandered like a lemon,
Over hill and dale,
My skin was looking yellow,
My complexion rather pale.
I rolled on down a ridge,
Just trying to get a grip,
Taking in what nature offered,
Alas, it was giving me the pip.
I started feeling seedy,
I'd been exercising for an hour,
No matter what I seemed to do
My mood remained quite sour.
Poem Details | by
Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories:
funny
He loved fruit of the vine when out to dine
It made his head whirl with feeling divine
But he got behind the wheel
Of his old automobile
Judge said jail time and hundred dollar fine
Placed No. 7 in Francine Robert's "Bottle of Wine, (fruit of the vine, when...)" Contest
June 2011
Poem Details | by
Volodymyr Knyr |
Categories:
food, fruit, humorous, people, spoken word, violence, words,
The bigger/the richer/the faster the peach,
the better the chance to catch up someone's speech.
Volodymyr Knyr
2014
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
anger, dog, humorous,
A really odd thing caught my eye
They hang on a branch way up high
Black bags in the trees
What strange ‘fruit’ are these
I wouldn’t want poop in my pie!
Why do some dog owners tie their dog poop bags on branches rather than put them in a bin?
31st January 2017
Poem Details | by
Theresa Cw |
Categories:
fun, humor,
Fruit Loops
There’s a wild woman who lives in Kamloops
She wants to have excessive wild sex groups
Folks say she doesn’t knows
She looks might dirty gross
She’s not even erotic like fruit loops.
Written: 6/11/15
Theresa Marie
Poem Details | by
Raj Napal |
Categories:
food, fruit, health, humorous, silly, symbolism, tribute,
Round with a crispy white core.
Crunch it, taste its juicy play.
Teeth strong and healthy, its lore.
Apples will keep docs away.
Play with it, throw ball, catch it.
Use as a target to train.
It is hard, good throw and hit.
Swollen eye, it can give pain.
Apple cider is best sweet.
Cider better when it’s brewed.
Cider moment, sways falls prat.
Spirit juices got to his head.
Apple crumble, sweet delight.
Custard adorns, rich flavor.
Moms use it to make nice treats.
Kids gobble It in wonder.
Apples good like wine and grape.
Tasty like strawberry.
Can cause pain like banana.
It was a forbidden fruit!
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
fruit, humorous, wisdom,
a wise man will know
finding a worm in a pear…
better than half worm
10th January 2016
Poem Details | by
Shaniki Smith |
Categories:
food, fruit, health, humor, missing, poems, sad,
Dear Fruit Fly
I don't like you
I can't stand you
Everywhere I go
You seem to be there
Staring me in my face
waiting for me to turn my back
so you can steal the food from off my plate
but today you really strike a nerve when you snatch my Eggo
That was my blueberry Eggo waffles
You and your compadres have to go
I had a enough
so here is a bus ticket
find somebody else home you can invade
Please fruit fly go away
You have over stayed your welcome
Poem Details | by
Mary Rotman |
Categories:
fruit, humorous, yellow,
Bananas
an unappreciated fruit
sentenced to banananality
because yellow
is their long suit
Poem Details | by
Brian Eatherton |
Categories:
funny
What's a policeman's favourite fruit?
Banahnahnahnah.
Poem Details | by
Jules Ross |
Categories:
desire, fruit, funny love, sensual, boy,
Boysenberry,
Boysenberry,
Sweet cherry pie,
I want to eat you before I die,
Blackberry,
Raspberry,
what have you done,
you produced an offspring
that is tasty fun.
They say you covet
the ones you see,
one day the boysenberry
will covet me.
You are perfection personified,
You are the fruit that keeps me alive,
Boysenberry, boysenberry,
how can it be,
I'd rather eat from your bush
than fruit from a tree…