Humorous and funny Fruit poems and/or funny poems about Fruit. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Fruit funny poems!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous,
Juicy Fruit
A busty young lady from Peel
Her boobies she couldn't conceal
They were such a huge size
That she won a first prize
For the fruit men most wanted to feel
7th April 2015
I made a bit of a boob on the 2nd line - thanks Paul Callus for your advice
Written by
Fritz Purdum
Categories:
fruit, fun, humorous, silly,
Ode To Ketchup
For hamburgers hotdogs and french fried potatoes
add the sweet savory sauce a gift from tomatoes
Ketchup Ketchup pour it thick
for bland foods it does the trick
Scramble eggs just to plain
Ketchup adds that sweet tang
Steak a little too dry
that's when ketchup applies
Try adding ketchup in your sauce
topping meatloaf it is boss
Beautifully red rich and thick
Ketchup is foods favorite condiment
For finger foods a tasty dip
so yummy you smack your lips
Ketchup is a sweet sensation
taste buds crave with anticipation
That magic that ketchup brings
is that flavorful wonderful zing
Written by
Doreen Ambrose
Categories:
funny, me, me,
Crows Only Pick At the Best Fruit
(A Co-worker)
Stop hatin' on me you ole crow,
Why don't you give me what you owe-
Me and that is respect you old coot,
Don't you know that I know that crows
Only pick at the best fruit,
It's as if you can see my future better than I can,
That is why you are acting like a twisted fan,
All out of control and down right vindictive,
Usually that kind of behavior is indicative,
Of someone who is jealous hearted and bitter,
Misery loves company and baby sitters,
I wish you would quit slandering my name,
You have had your fifteen minutes of fame,
Stop hatin' on me you ole coot,
Don't you know that I know that crows
Only pick at the best fruit.
Written by
Linda Alice Fowler
Categories:
fruit, funny, humorous, kiss, lust, sleep, woman,
Snow White
Snow White took an unladylike bite
of a big red apple polished bright
she snoozed quite a while
he kissed her with guile
and they shared an afternoon delight
Written by
I Am Anaya
Categories:
fruit, funny,
Bananas
Bananas
Here come the sailors of the Seventh Fleet
With their bananas ripe, ready to eat
The ladies, they like them firm
Musty one’s make them squirm
Why can’t liberty always be so sweet!
Limes
They’re green and round not yellow and curvy
Bruised or mushed never—topsy turvy!
Peeled back skin often slimy
Best citrus fresh and limey
Sailor lime-juicer’s sucked to cure scurvy
Written by
Brenda Mcgrath
Categories:
fruit, funny, tree,
My Little Lemon Tree
I check my little lemon tree every day with delight,
The new baby lemons are just growing out of sight.
The lemon tree lives on my patio and loves the sun,
And picking those giant lemons is such fun!
The last one picked was like a grapefruit, huge in size,
And the wonderful taste it did not compromise.
The luscious lemon went on facebook for my friends eyes,
Then it had a date with a pie, and met its demise.
Written by
Doris Culverhouse
Categories:
funny, inspirational
Fruit of the Tongue
Words
Spoken
From the heart
Harshness melted
Praise
Written by
David Fisher
Categories:
fruit, funny, math,
Gross Fruits
We planted a gross of strange, cube shaped fruits
Below the soil, then waited for shoots
When summer was through
Only twelve grew
Which is what you get when you plant, square roots
Written by
Kudzai Mhangwa
Categories:
food, fruit, fun, funny,
Ode To a Lemon
Zesty droplets on my tongue
Setting a blaze of many flavours
Lively explosions on in my mouth
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
fruit, funny, humor, humorous, myth, nature,
Am I Nuts
Am I Nuts?
Chestnuts don’t grow on chests
Walnuts don’t grow on walls
Peanuts don’t come from peas
Cashews come from the fruit on trees
Pecans don’t come from peacock feathers
Pistachios fall from Pinocchio’s nose
Hazelnuts relax in the hazy sun
Macadamias are MacDonald’s big Mac nuts
Almonds are singing nuts, called the Almond Brothers
Acorns come from the unicorns tusk
Nuts are nature’s ways of making sure
We all have a little fun
The biggest nut there ever was
Surely you can see
Is the Nutty Arthur Vaso
Whom wrote these verses three
Written by
David Fisher
Categories:
fruit, funny,
Gal From Jebruit
There once was a gal from Jebruit
Whom I heard knew how to mend fruit
I gave her a lemon
That she started hemmin’
But got it back in a lime suit
Written by
Barry Stebbings
Categories:
dance, fruit, humor,
You Can Never Dance a Tango With a Mango
You Can Never Dance A Tango With A Mango
You can never dance a Tango With a Mango
And the Damson is a drama in the Jive.
And the Grapefruit you can bet
Has not done the Rhumba yet
And that a Kumquat does the Foxtrot
Is entirely false.
The Samba when in season can be entirely pleasin’
But the Mango cannot Tango or dance the Waltz.
10/19/17
For 'Daft' contest by Kevin Shaw
Written by
Reynaldo Mast
Categories:
beautiful, beauty, creation, drink, fruit, humor, humorous, wine,
Grape Wine Drink
Glittering Purple
So pretty it is so sweet
Fruit of history
Glittering Purple
So pretty it is so sweet
Taste of memory
Glittering Purple
So pretty it is so sweet
Drink from grape it wines
Written by
John Williams
Categories:
fruit, funny,
The Lemon
I wandered like a lemon,
Over hill and dale,
My skin was looking yellow,
My complexion rather pale.
I rolled on down a ridge,
Just trying to get a grip,
Taking in what nature offered,
Alas, it was giving me the pip.
I started feeling seedy,
I'd been exercising for an hour,
No matter what I seemed to do
My mood remained quite sour.
Written by
Bl Devnath
Categories:
fruit, funny,
Potato
mass of flesh
covered by grey skin
with small eyes
kitchen queen
of vegetables
house wife's choice
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
anger, dog, humorous,
Strange Fruit
A really odd thing caught my eye
They hang on a branch way up high
Black bags in the trees
What strange ‘fruit’ are these
I wouldn’t want poop in my pie!
Why do some dog owners tie their dog poop bags on branches rather than put them in a bin?
31st January 2017
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
funny
Fruit of the Vine
He loved fruit of the vine when out to dine
It made his head whirl with feeling divine
But he got behind the wheel
Of his old automobile
Judge said jail time and hundred dollar fine
Placed No. 7 in Francine Robert's "Bottle of Wine, (fruit of the vine, when...)" Contest
June 2011
Written by
Volodymyr Knyr
Categories:
food, fruit, humorous, people, spoken word, violence, words,
A Peach and a Speech
The bigger/the richer/the faster the peach,
the better the chance to catch up someone's speech.
Volodymyr Knyr
2014
Written by
Theresa Cw
Categories:
fun, humor,
Fruit Loops
Fruit Loops
There’s a wild woman who lives in Kamloops
She wants to have excessive wild sex groups
Folks say she doesn’t knows
She looks might dirty gross
She’s not even erotic like fruit loops.
Written: 6/11/15
Theresa Marie
Written by
Raj Napal
Categories:
food, fruit, health, humorous, silly, symbolism, tribute,
Apple
Round with a crispy white core.
Crunch it, taste its juicy play.
Teeth strong and healthy, its lore.
Apples will keep docs away.
Play with it, throw ball, catch it.
Use as a target to train.
It is hard, good throw and hit.
Swollen eye, it can give pain.
Apple cider is best sweet.
Cider better when it’s brewed.
Cider moment, sways falls prat.
Spirit juices got to his head.
Apple crumble, sweet delight.
Custard adorns, rich flavor.
Moms use it to make nice treats.
Kids gobble It in wonder.
Apples good like wine and grape.
Tasty like strawberry.
Can cause pain like banana.
It was a forbidden fruit!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
fruit, humorous, wisdom,
Wisdom
a wise man will know
finding a worm in a pear…
better than half worm
10th January 2016
Written by
Shaniki Smith
Categories:
food, fruit, health, humor, missing, poems, sad,
Dear Fruit Fly
Dear Fruit Fly
I don't like you
I can't stand you
Everywhere I go
You seem to be there
Staring me in my face
waiting for me to turn my back
so you can steal the food from off my plate
but today you really strike a nerve when you snatch my Eggo
That was my blueberry Eggo waffles
You and your compadres have to go
I had a enough
so here is a bus ticket
find somebody else home you can invade
Please fruit fly go away
You have over stayed your welcome
Written by
Brian Eatherton
Categories:
funny
Favourite Fruit
What's a policeman's favourite fruit?
Banahnahnahnah.
Written by
Mary Rotman
Categories:
fruit, humorous, yellow,
Randomling 6
Bananas
an unappreciated fruit
sentenced to banananality
because yellow
is their long suit
Written by
Jules Ross
Categories:
desire, fruit, funny love, sensual, boy,
Boysenberry
Boysenberry,
Boysenberry,
Sweet cherry pie,
I want to eat you before I die,
Blackberry,
Raspberry,
what have you done,
you produced an offspring
that is tasty fun.
They say you covet
the ones you see,
one day the boysenberry
will covet me.
You are perfection personified,
You are the fruit that keeps me alive,
Boysenberry, boysenberry,
how can it be,
I'd rather eat from your bush
than fruit from a tree…