Humorous and funny Football poems and/or funny poems about Football. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Football funny poems!
Written by
John Pen
Categories:
football, fun, funny, humor, humorous, soccer, sports,
World Cup 2014
Pain in Spain
Bland England
Shame in the game
Who do you blame
When your approach is lame
Three lions or three blind mice?
I wonder
Written by
Smail Poems
Categories:
age, angel, baseball, beauty, butterfly, caregiving, celebration, character, child, father daughter, feelings, film, fishing, flower, football, children, for her, friend, fun, funny, gender, girl, girlfriend, giving, graduation, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, growing up, growth, hair, happiness, happy, health, heart, hero,
Princesses
Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!
Written by
Carolyn Devonshire
Categories:
football, humor, sports,
Eulogy For a Quarterback's Reputation
We're angry! What sports fan can blame us?
There hasn't been one loss for Jameis
But off-the-field ruckus
Makes sportscasters muck us
Once famous, now Jameis just shames us
*Written about former FSU quarterback Jameis Winston's run ins with the law.
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
football, humorous,
Big Stud-On-Campus
He was the big stud-on-campus, was Todd,
Until he was nabbed smokin' somethin' odd!
Coach booted him from the team.
Up in smoke went Mommy's dream,
Of Todd being on a pro-football squad!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
Written by
Elton Camp
Categories:
humor,
A Wedding During Football Season
A Wedding During Football Season
By Elton Camp
It has often wisely been said
Football season’s no time to wed
Let’s make one thing quite clear
It’s only four months of the year
So a wedding on the day of a game
Is so incredibly selfish and lame
Your wedding may be significant to you
But football games are important too
Those tickets are incredibly hard to get
So when nobody attends, don’t have a fit
Far down the list your wedding does rate
You need to get your priorities straight
Rather than put your friends on the spot
If you must wed then, use the parking lot
During halftime, the ceremony can be done
A tailgate reception is elegant and fun
Written by
Carolyn Devonshire
Categories:
funny, sports, football,
Football Mania Victim's Hysteria
“Woe is me,” when football season closes
Crimson Tide lost in a sea of roses
Tampa Bucs, Tide, Seminoles
To “off” my remote just strolls
I’ll use TM for football osmosis
My Coach Bowden-signed football is glass-encased
How do I endure the trauma I’ve faced?
With my pompoms cast aside
“Six-month drought!” I cried
“It would hurt less to have my face replaced.”
*Entry for Susan’s “Drama Queen” contest.
Written by
Jimmy Anderson
Categories:
funny
Football My Fav
There once was a sports game called football.
Where the players knew how to trip and fall.
They were clumsy it's true.
You see they wore Panther's blue.
And the coach never knew what to call.
*for Royal Trevino's "My favorite sport (Limerick)" contest
Written by
Thomas Martin
Categories:
football, funny, humor, husband, men, wife,
Football and Spouse
football
is all
crowd roars
kick soars
a pass
at last
man cave
men crave
cold ones
at once
demand
she panned
but serve
the beer
and chips
for dips
hubby
must pee
walks out
on lout
and shops
till drops
lonely
lady
returns
and learns
the lout
passed out
flat beer
oh dear
the game
now tame
half time
her time
clap hands
to bands
the game
what game!
Written by
Andrew Battaglino
Categories:
funny, humor,
Football Fan
There once was a football fan from Philly
Who was known for being very silly
During the Eagles Super Bowl win
He dipped his chicken wings in gin
And gulped down Bud Light, dilly dilly
Written by
John Williams
Categories:
football, humorous,
The Hayne Plane
The Hayne plane took America by storm,
The Yanks soon realised he was not the norm,
He dodged through gaps
As he downed his flaps,
The opposition looked quite forlorn.
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
football, giggle,
Drowning In a River of Tears
Germany scored seven goals, poor Brazil is awash with tears
Guess they won’t need any rainfall for at least a hundred years
Jan Allison
9th July 2014
Written by
Stanley Harris
Categories:
celebrity, crazy, football, goodbye, hilarious, surreal,
Richer Than Rich
Richer than rich!
By Stanley Russell Harris
The new mad Author
& A Poetry Soup honourably mentioned poet
Has football gone completely mad!
A sport of all now to be had!
Boys and girls play it today.
I wonder, is it for the pay?
Talk is now, if one does go.
To China, that’s overseas, you know.
If here you have made your name.
There you would be one of fame.
I mean a million pounds every week!
No doubt one will work, so to speak.
But kicking an air filled ball.
Ain’t worth one million pounds at all!
Still, if I was offered a payment so.
Off I would blinking go.
I’d write a verse every day!
Rest of the time I’d count me pay.
lol (The new mad Author)
Written by
Gregory Richard Barden
Categories:
celebrity, football, humorous, sports, word play,
The Goat
In the summer, some fans climb the walls
For a game that's been played many falls
And a player named Brady
Many folks found as shady
For some shifts in the size of his balls ...
An inspection made by Le Gendarme
Thus concluded, no cause for alarm
'Twasn't balls, frankly stated
Haters hopes were deflated
For the sake ... of his glorious arm!
~ 1st Place ~ in the "Celebrity Limerick" Poetry Contest, Tania Kitchin, Judge & Sponsor.
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
car, drink, football, humorous,
Rooney You Looney
A player whose name rhymes with Clooney
Got drunk and then drove - what a loony
Spent the night locked in jail
When released he looked pale
The outlook for him may be gloomy
He’ll get whacked with an enormous fine
But his club won't force him to resign
It would make much more sense
losing his road licence
and he stops drinking lager and wine!
Yesterday UK footballer Wayne Rooney got stopped for drink driving
09-02-17
Written by
T Wignesan
Categories:
england, football, humor, military, scary,
Limerick Crochetes: Once Warrior Fifteen From Down Under
Limerick crochetés: Once Warrior Fifteen from down under
Once Warrior Fifteen from down under
Trained so hard Hakka to outclap thunder
Scared s..t off rivals
To reach the Finals
At Twitch-in-Ham where Prince roared like Pauper
Anthems sweet lulled the cheery spectator
World hushed to watch Black Hakka Warrior
Earth shook hearts thumped shrieked gulls
Petrified spell-bound rivals
Warrior lungs burst Cup won by neither
Big-money football magnates cheered together
At last World will look up to footballer
American rivals
Or Pelé-fan Bra-zil’s
Hakka now sole weapon of US soldier
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2015
Written by
Julie Grenness
Categories:
addiction, depression, feelings, football, humorous,
Pfs
Why do men sit there sulking alone?
Is it worse than Premenstrual Syndrome?
If PFS worse for men?
Indeed, by PFS. what is meant?
Why, it's Post Football Syndrome!!
Don't say it's only a game, Oh no!
Round here, that's blasphemy,
Or, let's say, utter heresy,
SHHHH, let's tiptoe away.....
Dodging his tantrums today....
Find something else to do,
How does PFS affect you?
Why do men sit sulking alone?
Easy, it's Post Football Syndrome....
SSHHHH......
Written by
Charlie Knowlton
Categories:
autumn, birthday, football, funny, humor, november, weather,
Born In November
Birthdays, 1957-`66.
Brown and gray, dead leaves allastray,
stalks wither in mourning, pumpkins slayed.
Dark at 5, little time to play,
clocks retreat, set back to save.
A gift wrapped football! Surprise! Again?
What`s that make Ma?, 9 or 10?
Just finish your cake and when you`re through,
homework then bed, tomorrow there`s school.
Birthdays in Autumn,
of which I'm a member.
70 in a row now,
all in November.
Written by
Julie Grenness
Categories:
drink, football, fun, funny, happy, men, universe,
Paradigm Shift
PARADIGM SHIFT.
Here is my version of a paradigm shift,
Socratic questions if you get my drift!
Why did God make the Universe elliptical?
To make an Aussie football, not spherical!
Why did God make football? See here,
To make men miserable, my dears!
Why did God make beer?
To make men happy, my dears!
So, some intelligent chappies here,
Taking beer to the football, no fears,
Now they're miserable and happy dears!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
football, humorous, sports,
Bad Loser Footles
HE MISSES THE PENALTY
Acts cool -
Looks fool
It's wide
Off side!
He moans
Then groans
Blues score
Fans roar
Last place
Sour face
03~19~17
Written by
Panagiota Romios
Categories:
car, football, humor,
Feline Football Haiku
Feline Football- English Haiku
Cat on all fours crouched.
Grape football hit with
swift paw.
Punt, calico wins!
October 8, 2019
English Haiku
5 syllables-line 1
7 syllables-line 2
5 syllables-line 3
Written by
Karen Edwards-Gregory
Categories:
adventure, anxiety, aubade, happy, hilarious,
Football Mania 2018
World Cup - 2018
Football season
Football fever
Glued to the television
Moments of anxiety
Nail biting
Edge chair sitting
Cussing the players, the referee
Despair, heart wrenching, disappointment
Then
Screaming, shouting... G O A LLLL!!!
Pandemonium, jumping, dancing,
Pans knocking, horns blowing
Hilarious with joy
My team won
Ouch!
Silence
Sad face, tears, disbelief, anger, mixed emotions
My team lost
Football season
Football fever
Written by
Lu Loo
Categories:
football, humorous,
Brady and His Footballs
Have you ever heard of that famous Tom Brady?
His deflated balls can’t even chase off the ladies.
But he’s a legend that football has seemly created,
so I named my puppy Brady...but his balls not deflated.
Celebrity or Famous Person Clerihew Poetry Contest
Tania Kitchin
March 26, 2019
Written by
Katherine Stella
Categories:
celebration, football, funny, humor,
Oh Dear
oh dear what can the matter be
come now and let's try and see
was it the patriots loss
or eagles touchdowns toss
this time was glad to see all stand
singing our anthem and holding hands
2/6/18
for oh dear what can the matter be contest
gl all
Written by
Alkas Poetry
Categories:
allegory, allusion, humorous, metaphor, truth,
Hyper Stars of Football
Pel é killed the game and ate the ball
Garrincha held the ball and did bawl
coming, going what the hell
Zico played ball through smell
Bileira my cousin made rivals crawl
Written by
Julie Grenness
Categories:
football, health, hilarious,
Fat For Football
Yes, nostalgia does exist,
I reminisce on slimmer hips,
As I look at us today,
All I really want to say,
Is, we got fat for football, eh!