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Funny Poems About Father Daughter
Humorous and funny Father Daughter poems and/or funny poems about Father Daughter. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Father Daughter funny poems!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
father daughter, health, humorous,
Sugar Daddy - Two Lenses
Childhood Days
I’d heap spoonfuls of sugar in my tea
I wouldn’t drink it without it you see
That sweet syrupy drink
Wasn’t poured down the sink
Every single drop was supped up by me!
Adulthood
Dad’s diabetes made me think -
Did I need to sweeten my drink
So I cut sugar out
And I don’t have a doubt
I’m slimmer and I’m in the pink
Contest: Two Lenses
Sponsor Sara Kendrick
02~20~16
Written by
Caren Krutsinger
Categories:
12th grade, family, father daughter, humor, humorous, mother daughter, relationship,
My Princess
When I grow up, will I still be princess?
Of course, says glowing daddy.
A roll of the queen’s eyes.
Written by
Smail Poems
Categories:
age, angel, baseball, beauty, butterfly, caregiving, celebration, character, child, father daughter, feelings, film, fishing, flower, football, children, for her, friend, fun, funny, gender, girl, girlfriend, giving, graduation, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, growing up, growth, hair, happiness, happy, health, heart, hero,
Princesses
Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!
Written by
John Posey
Categories:
dad, family, father daughter, humorous, sister,
Daddy's Mantel Clock
Daddy had a mantel clock on that shelf above the fire.
I remember how it sometimes seemed to call my Sis a liar.
Sis would be out on a date and the wheels of time would turn
My dad, it seemed would always be awake when she returned.
Now Daddy was quite strict on Sis – at nine she must be in.
And she was in real trouble if it was as late as ten.
“Darlin’, what’s the time?” he’d yell as she slipped in..
“Daddy, it’s about nine,” she’d shout, as that old clock struck ten.
Written By John Posey
12/25/12
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
child, christmas, conflict, father daughter, humorous, parody,
Parody of the Beatles Song - Yesterday
Christmas Day
Pa threw all my new toys away
Now my friends won’t want to come and play
Cos I was naughty yesterday
Suddenly
All the gifts disappeared from ‘neath the tree
Now the carpet’s bare for all to see
Pa snapped at me so suddenly
Why I had to drown our old cat
I cannot say
She fell in the loo so I flushed
the cat awayyyyyyyyyyy
Christmas Day
Pa threw all my new toys away
Santa delivered them on his red sleigh
But when Pa is mad, there’s no leeway
Purely Fictional write inspired by hearing Yesterday on the radio
09-11-17
Written by
Dialectic Crisis
Categories:
angst, father, father daughter, father son, funny, integrity, silly,
Existentially Deconstructing the Knock-Knock Joke Into the Perfect Moral Tale
"Knock-Knock!" - Who's there?
"Diaphragms!" - Diaphragms who?
"Diaphragms...Don't always seem to work...
...I don't know how else to tell you this...
...So I am just gonna say it
as politically correct
and incorrectly apolitical
as I've been reprogrammed to speak
by The Disney Company:
"Luke, I am your sperm donor!"
- I sure hope I don't disappoint you as much
as George Lucas disappoints God and such..."
Written by
David Smith
Categories:
anxiety, beautiful, education, father daughter, growing up, horror, humor,
Hopes For My Daughters
I have two daughters beautiful and smart,
I knew that from the start.
Equality with men
I know is important to them.
I just hope they are not in a hurry
To marry.
As I don't know many men who can be
Right 50 percent of the time like me.
And if they by chance marry some swine,
Will they have to share their jail time.
Written by
John Trainer
Categories:
birth, father, father daughter, humorous, universe,
The Birth of a Thought
I gave birth to a thought today
A shiny little supposition
It wept about all the possibilities
Endless creativity
Directionless refractivity
Like protons racing around an atom blaster
My thoughts began to multiply
It was the Big Bang of my Universe
Then I heard the voice of an angel
Say, “Daddy, this is my science project.”
And now the birth of a thought
Gave birth to a Black Hole
Written by
Randy Johnson
Categories:
daughter, father, father daughter, funny, girl, humor, humorous,
I Shouldn'T Have Watched Girls Gone Wild
I used to watch those Girls Gone Wild videos but I stopped.
The last one that I saw was so shocking that my jaw dropped.
At first everything was fine but then I suddenly screamed "No, not her!"
The reason why I suddenly screamed was because I saw my daughter.
Seeing her on that video nearly gave me a heart attack, I was in a bad shape.
I called the Girls Gone Wild phone number and I ordered all of those tapes.
I burned every one of those tapes after I doused them with gas.
Then I told my daughter that if she ever removes her top again, I'll kick her ***.
I made a firm decision right there and then.
I swore never to watch Girls Gone Wild again.
(This is a fictional poem)
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
christmas, father daughter, humorous,
A Dead Boring Gift - the Worst Christmas Present Ever
Her father gave her a burial blot
(Not jewellery or clothes or a yacht!)
When Debbie’s interred low
Will they add a gift bow
Still for now it’s a gift she’ll boycott!
I read this article on-line from the ‘Mirror’ newspaper and I couldn’t resist writing a limerick about it.
I would have loved to see her face when she was told what she had been given!
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/my-dad-bought-burial-plot-11688469
12/27/17
Written by
Andrew Battaglino
Categories:
father daughter, humorous,
Digger From Oyster Bay
Digger from Oyster Bay
There once was a digger from old Oyster Bay
Who did the right thing on a very wrong day
While taking a hike down a long winding trail
Saw his daughter and mailman delivering mail
Surprisingly on take your daughter to work day
Written by
Abiygayil Yisrael
Categories:
character, confusion, father daughter, funny, giggle, humor, humorous,
Good Morning Mister Walka
GOOD MORNING MISTER WALKA
Good morning Mister WALKA
I come to see your DAUGHTA,
I hope it's not ah BOTHA,
Cause all I really wanted was a cold glass of WATA
And so, if it is not such ah BOTHA, Mister WALKA
I'd love to give her a QUARTA,
If she would give me a cold glass of WATA.
So, what do you say Mister WALKA? can I see your DAUGHTA, right away
Before LATA, if you may. And if it is not such ah BOTHA.
By the way, are you sure, you are her FATHA, and not her BROTHA? For you sure act like her MOTHA. Oh shoot! MR. WALKA, why did I even BOTHA with you,
When I could have gone to AH-NOTHA.
Written by
David Drowley
Categories:
dad, fantasy, father daughter, humor, nature,
Little Mary Miller
One sunny day little Mary Miller
Picked up a mottled green caterpillar,
Which became a monster moth.
One fine morn her dad grew wroth:
Her moth laid eggs in his denture filler.
5/2/2023
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
father daughter, giggle, humor, old,
No Sense of Humor
Above her pretty head, swirled this dread rumor
She'd absolutely no sense of humor ~
Why? No one understood
She found jokes dull as wood ~
Seems her dad was this corny old boomer
Written by
Manon Boudreau Star Child Nebula
Categories:
blessing, father daughter, fathers day, funny, god, inspirational love, mentor,
Love To My Starfish
Who was granted his wish
A Happy Father's Day
I honor you and pray
Time to notice all you have done
To makes us as one
Life has been enjoyed
Filled my heart with so much joy
We still got silly you and me
Built such precious memories
Clearly sent from above
Has always been our love
Love you Daddy
You are my harvest tree that is kept within me
Watch as I have grown
Through every lesson you have shown
Proud to call you Dad
For you are the best I could of had
Written by
Kim Rodrigues
Categories:
animal, dark, father daughter, humor, psychological,
Teens Caught In Headlights
dusk’s love-locked braces —
dad resounds shooting antler
off bucks to detach
1/13/2021
Senryu - Humorous, Satirical or Dark Poetry
Sponsor: Tania Kitchin
Written by
Vladimir Tumanov
Categories:
daughter, father daughter, father son, humor, humorous, men, son,
Unfair Names
I’ve been called an inequity spotter
(although some will just call me a “rotter”).
Names are biased for sons:
yours and mine — everyone’s.
I propose to make JohnSON — JohnDAUGHTER.
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
city, family, father, father daughter, father son, hero, humor,
Our Dads
An old gent was tellin' me about how his dad wrote "a dry book" on a given topic, and argued the issue before the Supreme Court. Pretty important dad! And mine? "My dad rescued two hookers during a boxer riot in Kowloon."
Written by
Linda Alice Fowler
Categories:
father daughter, fun, funny, giggle, humor, humorous, parents,
You Look Nice
“Don’t you look nice!”, the waitress said
she left to get our ordered bread
as his black coffee cooled
he said, “You’ve got her fooled,”
and I went home and hid my head