Humorous and funny Eve poems and/or funny poems about Eve. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Eve funny poems!
Written by
Vernette Hutcherson
Categories:
funny, mystery, people, eve,
Adam and Eve and the Fig Leaves
Here's something I have been wondering
For so very long
If Adam and Eve wore only figs leaves
How did they keep them on
It couldn't have been a rubber band
And certainly not super glue
I just really have no idea
Do you have a clue
What did they do in the winter
When fig trees are bare
One leaf wouldn't last all year
I think there's a mystery there
If only Eve hadn't eaten that apple
If only Adam hadn't taken a bite
I wouldn't be trying to solve this
And I'd sleep better at night
Written by
Joseph Spence Sr
Categories:
funny, history, imagination, nature, people, places, romanceeve,
Adam & Eve Inventory Accountants
Adam was an
acceptable accountant
And Eve a bubblingly
bright bookkeeper;
Adam loved the
First-In, First-Out
Accounting (FIFO) system,
While Eve preferred
The Last-In, First-Out
Inventory (LIFO) system;
Together they testified that
Inventoried sweet fruit
should neither
Sits and spoil
nor go to the
Garden wastebasket
Wrongfully.
Written by
Jimmi Canada
Categories:
baptism, beauty, city, eve, first love, funny, gender, god, history, independence day, mystery, mythology, night, obituary, raven, sea, silly, summer, sweet, teacher, world, yellow,
Roll On
Lauren Hill slow songs thrill,
they pop like a fast moving pill,
I am flopped on top of a junk food bill,
and running with a skunk who tells me to take in my fill-
like leading um' on into my dream,
I create a festering lean,
I rank every thought in order of how I like it,
and prep for a long time that's gonna break all the cycles.
Striding with my shrine,
as I shock a spine,
revitalize and prime-
as I preen and primp and chimp-
as I act like a pimp,
I black out and gimp,
skimp out on my dying moment because death is no shrimp!
Written by
Julian Bohan
Categories:
angel, angst, art, bible, boyfriend, eve, god, humor, language, nature, nice, retirement, science, senses, silly, snow,
From the National Poet of Slovenia In a Language People Understand - E Pluribum Anus
RIPAE BENI DEAU VER
In modus fasciculumque Brady pus.
Rogationes, confractum egemus.
Minara excommunica
Ripa nostra, sus amica,
Sic superbum precum, pape beatus.
Story:
http://www.sloveniatimes.com/president-to-attend-pope-francis-s-installation-mass#komentarji
The National Poet Of Slovenia In A Language People Understand moves in mysterious ways. Just ignore him.
www.jesus.si
Written by
Anthony Biaanco
Categories:
eve, fun, funny, funny love, good night, joy, kiss, leadership,
Cinnamon, Lavender and Stormy
Cindy Cinnamon was a working gal
Lavender Lucy her very best pal
one night they tag teamed Mr. Ed
smoked a pound of panama red
Stormy Daniels did shots from a pail
12/26/18
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous,
Another Viagra Poem Has Just Popped Up - Inspired By Eve Roper and Jack Ellison
It hung so limply like Niagara
Doc told him to take some Viagra
Just one little blue pill
Gave his wife such a thrill
It sticks up so high it could stab ya
Inspired by Eve Roper’s and Jack Ellison’s poems
http://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/viagra_691812
http://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/odd_on_viagra_691713
18th July 2015
Written by
Poetprentice Dupins
Categories:
bible, creation, funny, irony, jesus, silly, work,
Dear Adam and Eve, You Had 1 Job, That's All
Work, work, work, work, work
Work, work, work, wor, wor
Wor, wor, wor, wor, wor, wo
Wo, wo, wo, wo, woe is us.
The irony of the fall of man:
Them yielding to Eden’s free and tempting fruit,
Now cursed us to labor for our fruit.
They should’ve had a hamburger.
Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
funny,
Eve Tried To Kill Bob
Eve tried to kill Bob
with a broken door knob
last Friday at noon
when he popped her balloon.
She had a big fit.
Did you hear about it?
Yes, she’d stewed and she’d stewed
since bob was so rude.
Since bob was so rude,
yes, she’d stewed and she’d stewed.
Did you hear about it?
She had a big fit
when he popped her balloon.
Last Friday at noon,
with a broken doorknob,
Eve tried to kill Bob.
A Palindrome poem with four palindrome
words: Eve, Bob, noon, and did!
Written By Andrea Dietrich
for David Williams' Palindrome mad Poetry Contest
Written by
Volodymyr Knyr
Categories:
age, bible, eve, humorous, paradise, woman, women,
Eve
Only Eve is a madam,
who is known from Adam.
Volodymyr Knyr
2014
Written by
T Wignesan
Categories:
eve, humor,
Limerick Crochet: Once a Dangling Dude Got Himself Tattooed
Limerick crochet: Once a dangling Dude got himself tattooed
Once a dangling Dude got himself tattooed
All over to make himself look pretty good
Only piece tattoo free
Was the retracting pPp:
So he installed stainless steel under hood.
He met a woman with scarce a stain
On her svelte body smooth as satin
So they locked jaws and torso:
Steel piece severed in grotto
Surgeons found tattooed insides: shark’s teeth and fin !
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
Written by
Acml Orozco
Categories:
eve, for her, freedom, friend, giggle,
Grotesque
motionless notions
jotionless morons
noneless addicts
poemless antics
Written by
Randy Johnson
Categories:
food, funny, on writing and words, eve,
If Eve Hadn'T Ate That Apple
If Eve hadn't ate that apple, we'd be going out in public in the nude.
We could go to the library in the buff and not get sued.
If Eve hadn't ate that apple, Hugh Hefner would be out of work.
We could visit our neighbors with nothing on and not be called jerks.
Written by
Cecil Hickman
Categories:
funny, holiday, people, satire
One Hallows Eve
Halloween spider queen, I did attend
Wig, stockings, black dress, makeup, heels, suspend
Whistles and catcalls they came.
Mystical night all the same,
I had such fun, succeeding this pretend.
Written by
Brian Eatherton
Categories:
funny, new years day,
New Year's Eve
New Years Eve,
Old Lang Syne
And all that.
And you may hear
An old lady roaming the midnight streets,
Singing at the top of her voice,
And blowing her hron to her hearts content.
One too many snowballs maybe
But don't worry
As it's only the Hooting Nanny.
Written by
James Horn
Categories:
humorous,
For Eve Roper
For Eve Roper,
Poets with a brain remain in Spain
Left America not standing the strain
Started writing each poem in Spanish;
Now no poet from Spain will they banish.
Sounds like great idea and not outlandish.
Guess you could call this a
Horn style limerick which
I hope won't make you sick.
Jim Horn
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
humor,
The Ousting of Adam and Eve
Life was a blast in the Garden of Eden for Adam and Eve,
'Til the wrath of their Creator invited them to leave!
They were having a ball traipsing about in their birthday suit,
'Til that sneaky snake offered them a chomp of forbidden fruit!
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
creation, god, humorous, woman,
Was Adam Or Eve First Up His Sleeve
There was God all alone in the world
Nature and wildlife merely doing His bidding
Who to create first, Adam or Eve?
You want to be TOLD how to make Adam?
~ Are you kidding?
Written by
Linda Alice Fowler
Categories:
cute, eve, funny, girl, silly,
Lottery
A girl who made her own pottery
learned she had just won the lottery
she had a glazed look
as her head she shook
her eyes like her clay got watery
Written by
Aniruddha Pathak
Categories:
eve, fashion, humor,
Fig Leaf From Eve, Fall Collection
She wore next to naught, bare birthday suit,
Yet, sense of fashion was absolute.
Lifting that sole fig leaf—
The briefest of a brief,
Said: from Fall-collection— ah how cute!
___________________________________
Tongue-in-cheek | 24.01.2020 |
Topic: fashion, humour
Poet’s Note: I remember to have seen a cartoon some time back. Adam and eve are shown in the Garden of Eden amidst heaps of fallen leaves. Eve picks up one meant to be her fig leaf, and says, ‘see, this is from my Fall Collection’.
Almost wordless, a cartoon brings the point home very effectively. A poem too does that so laconically. What when the two combine?
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
humor, new york,
Big Apple Eve
I pictured her milking an udder
And it made my whole body shudder
Then mum piped up,
"Forget her, pup!
She's bound to be some buddy's mudder!"
Written by
Anna Jones
Categories:
funny, holiday, seasons, halloween,
All Hallow's Eve
All Hallow's Eve
A new year,
A new cycle.
Time to prepare.
Gather the crops.
Children Beware.
Ghosts and Goblins
And Faeries alike,
Will give you a scare
On Halloween night.
The blood moon is rising
Colossal and blazing.
Giving light to the covens
Gathered for praising.
So all who are frightened,
Afraid, suspicious,
Unenlightened,
Stay inside your home.
On All Hallow's Eve
The witches will roam.
Written by
Ann Foster
Categories:
appreciation, chocolate, desire, eve, giggle, hair, happiness,
Distance Squared
Distance Squared
The speed of light
is exactly how fast
my heart sends;
every prayer,
every good thought,
every perfect wish!
The bright candle between us,
it is the sun itself.
The solar wind fills the sails
of my forever ship,
longing to journey to you.
Mermaid,
sunfish,
nova
eclipse,
the moon is full,
and I am lost in space.
Written by
Maureen McGreavy The Insolent Rib
Categories:
eve, women,
Funny Bone
God ribbing Adam
Eve with Lilith’s bone to pick~
dare to take a bite
***
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
christmas, humor,
Christmas Eve
A girl who delighted in pleasing
Was in for a barrel of teasing
When asked to strip bare
She said she won't care
As long as they keep her from freezing!
Written by
Sandra Haight
Categories:
christmas, funny, write,
Dasher and Dancer's Christmas Eve Call Offs
Dasher and Dancer yelled midair
and said to Santa, “We can't fly!
Earth satellites have made a snare
of wireless currents in the sky!”
Then Santa answered, “Use plan B-
come down one level in the sky.
Take care and watch! Don't hit a tree
or steeple top as we zoom by!”
So they both did as Santa said,
though still, they'd be a little late;
made headway now with deer and sled
where techno-waves had low-flow rate!