Humorous and funny Drug poems and/or funny poems about Drug. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Drug funny poems!
Written by
Edward Ibeh
Categories:
drug, humor, love, romantic,
That Four Letter Word, Love
Look in your eyes unveils a smoldering ember that could make Gibraltar crumble.
One in a million heart that magically kindles fire without matches. Nothing...
Ventured, nothing gained in this rewarding game of love; a four letter word that
Emanates such sweet ecstasy. And no, I don't mean the drug.
Universal Acrostic Collaboration Poetry Contest/Winner(1st Place)
Sponsored by: Steven Henderson
Date written: and posted 04/01/2016
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
body, humorous,
Away At the Drug Store - Bawdy - Awarded Potd
Away at the drug store
no condoms I see
I need some protection
to stop pregnancy
My girlfriend’s so horny
wants sex night and day
I’d never refuse her
a roll in the hay!
I’ll purchase some cling film
and some rubber bands
I’ll use these till condoms
are back on the stands.
Poem of the Day 14th July 2023
07/13/23
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
anger, care, celebration, drug, humor, relationship,
I love and kiss the CVS people
I’ll get to the pills with a twist
The scripts filled by my pharmacist
If there’s a hiccup
Delaying the pick-up
Watch out as I might just get pissed
Written by
Arlene Smith
Categories:
funny, drug,
Flower Child
psychedelic drugs
population explosion
making love, not war
Written by
Sandra Haight
Categories:
drug, funny,
Drug Warnings
Amazing how drugs do get sold
when warnings in ads are so bold;
more time often spent on what to prevent
before what they're good for is told.
These warnings may not be so wise
though scary, we must realize
lab-testing does show that problems are low
so warning lists are compromised.
So how can one muster goodwill
when doctors prescribe a new pill?
Just trust his advice, forget the health price,
then swallow that pill- pay the bill!
Long lists of the 'goods' versus 'bads'...
not worth fretting warnings in ads!
October 16, 2016
~NA~
Contest: Warning
Sponsor: Viv Wigley
Judged: 11/05/2016
Written by
John Lawless
Categories:
humor, men, drug,
Surf's Up - For Contest
SURF'S UP
It drug the beach sand making trenches
causing lightheaded fainting of wenches
the ocean was icy
he stood out quite nicely
even after allowing for shrinkage.
2/19/2016
submitted to – Limerick Contest II – for fun – Poetry Contest
sponsor – Jan Allison
Written by
Just James
Categories:
drug, fun, funny,
My Addiction
I think i may have hit rock bottom
I am dreaming about my problem
I guess to confess this reality
is something i will have to agree?
I will admit to this narcotic
No drug hope in antibiotic
Self-control is the key to be free,
but its hard when i stay so thirsty
Withdrawal hits me with aching headaches
Sometimes i end up with body shakes
Maybe some restraint and a sponsor
keeps me from becoming a monster
There is nothing for this male Roffey
like a strong rich cup of black coffee
Written by
Peter Despirito
Categories:
humorous, word play, drug,
Ode To the Cigarette
Ode to the Cigarette
My air is contaminated by the cigarette smoke that I smoke...walking in the clouds makes me choke...though I enjoy it no joke..no money in my pockets
'cause the habit leaves me broke...calming my nerves destroying my lunges...the excellent taste...the life shortening plunge...it is wrong...
death from of it is painful and long...getting weaker...still so strong...
though I throw myself into this painful drug...my shoulders I shrug...as I drag and tug...pull and puff my air contaminating cigarette smoke that I smoke...
By: Peter T. DeSpirito
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
humorous, drug, daffodils,
Bills Bills Head Busting Bills
Bills, bills, head busting bills
Checked the drug store, ain't no bill pills
Got pills for aches
Got pills for weight
Think I'll just go out and pick daffodils
© Jack Ellison 2015
(A sequel LOL)
Written by
Mark Goodson
Categories:
fantasy, funny, happiness, life, love, drug,
Viagra
I once had a wife named Cleopatra
Who expected me to perform some abracadabra
My body is old
But I became bold
So I went off to the drug store for some viagra
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
humor, love, drug,
J-A-C-K-L-E-S
Does anyone know how to spell the word love
L-O-V-E you answered, all you adorable love bugs
But that's incorrect
It's J-A-C-K-L-E-S, by heck
It's the name of this most powerful new drug
© Jack Ellison 2015
Written by
Poet. Undertaker
Categories:
humor, drug,
Singing Fool
Once there was a man called Jacob Pool.
Nightingale singing in the distance is Pool.
Sing all babes to sleep by night.
Drug to all depressed hearts.might!
bloody what a great sense from this fool!
Written by
Peter Dome
Categories:
age, funny, hilarious, humor, humorous, drug,
Getting On
Oh getting old is such a pain
You have to wear teeth
You take out
And put in again
Your hair falls out
you get wind and gout
Everything goes south
And your belly sticks out.
You take tablets lotions and more
You have more supplies
Than the local drug store
Hair starts to grow in all the wrong places
Even your ears
You start to read retro magazines
And reminisce about times you've seen.
You start to get grumpy
And put the world to rights
You'd take on the world but you haven't got the fight
Wear long Johns
And can't sleep at night.
No growing old is not for me
But there again
I'm only 23 and a bit
''Honest''
But no matter how old still young at heart.
Written by
David Sollis
Categories:
body, funny, humorous, irony, silly, drug,
Building a Beautiful Body
I wanted a buff body, to look good in my "snuggs".
But ignored advice doled out by fitness droids.
Like: never use performance enhancing drugs
or be tempted to use Anabolic Steroids.
After 6 months, I just look like a thug wearing a rug…
…with a Nasty Squint and Diabolic Hemorrhoids
[this poem was first published on my blog - http://wp.me/p2mUkP-eH
with one of my sketch doodles & makes more sense in context of the whole post]
Written by
David Wallace
Categories:
funny, easter, drug,
The Easter Bunnies
They say the Easter bunnies comes the same time every year,
escaping from a Lab somewhere, they holes up around here.
They smells of smoke and iodine, wear lipstick and eye drops,
They’s lost her lucky feet somewhere and that is why they hops.
Their Coney furs desirable, and their quarters good for food,
although not free of chemicals, it really tastes quite good.
Their wracking coughs and bloodshot eyes, puts hunters off the match,
tobacco drugs and alcohol, makes them an easy catch.
Their chocolate eggs they lays in fields, each wrapped in silver foil,
are excellent when eaten fresh, but awful when they’re boiled.
Written by
David Byrne
Categories:
allegory, funny, drug,
My Lovely Concubine
I love my cigarettes
The pleasure, sticks
I’m tellin’ you
Coffin nails
You’re calling them
It simply isn’t true
They increase my confidence
It’s the nicotine
You see
A happy drug you understand
My doctors
Said to me
So I keep, smoking
I don’t care
They are helpin’ with my flair
Love lookn’ at
My King Size pack
While reclinin’ on my back
So spare me the lectures
My tobacco she’s real fine
Virginia that’s my sweetheart’s name
My lovely concubine : )
©david byrne july ‘12
Written by
Carson Chandler
Categories:
art, christmas, drug, funny,
Addicted
I'm
Hooked
On a tree.
No matter what I try
I can't find a solution,
Despite my New Years' resolutions,
I always (every year)
end up here.
I'm hooked on a tree.
Some call it an addiction, But I say that's wrong diction,
I'm |
just (ME)
stuck
on a
tree.
Written by
Randy Johnson
Categories:
funny, humor, prison, drug,
Not Drinking and Driving
Something happened to me a few years ago that was really bizarre.
I was arrested for drinking and driving but I've never owned a car.
I thought that I must have been dreaming, it couldn't possibly be real.
How could I drink and drive when I've never owned an automobile?
I asked the District Attorney if it was a prank or a joke.
Even though I've never had a license, it was revoked.
I hadn't had a drink for a long time, not even one beer.
After I was arrested, the judge sent me to jail for two years.
One year after I got out, something else happened that was just as insane.
Even though I've never touched drugs, I'm in jail for buying cocaine.
(This is a fictional poem.)
Written by
Brian Eatherton
Categories:
funny, drug,
In My Car
Ecstasy
In my car.
Hard Drugs?
Raw passion?
Sadly only on CD.
Written by
Peter Lewis Holmes
Categories:
anger, humanity, humor, drug,
Message To a Pharmaceuticals King
You’re such a nasty bugger,
You slumming, scheming lout,
No conscience or misgiving,
No arguing about!
And when next time I see you,
Sucking on the poor, I’ll give to
You no quarter, you shameless
Writhing whore.
To you people are just profits,
You stinking rotten rat,
I’d love to squash your laurels
With my old ash cricket bat!
Drugs are for the sick, not
For pockets to be lined,
To be in this type of business,
You really must be kind
So take your profit margins
And income streams and like,
And point yourself at nearest cliff
While tied on to your bike
HURRAH!
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
animal, drug, giggle,
Testi-Monkey
No monkey ~
was ever a junkie
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
change, death, drink, drug, humorous,
More-Fin and Morphin
Doctor Pain used to prescribe more-fin
Until a patient put some in his gin
He drank like a fish
And made a weird wish
Opioid cocktail submerged his last grin
**********
A sex-change doc recommended morphin'
Prescribed a load of testosterone
As body parts changed
And brains rearranged
Man's higher nature was swiftly orphaned
Written by
Earl Schumacker
Categories:
best friend, crazy, education, farewell, fun, funny, drug,
Teddy Bear - Strange Love
Teddy Bear - Strange Love
Our new neighbors have guns and drugs
They call me Teddy
Silly!....my toy is Teddy…. Teddy Bear
They must be crazy
I love my little bear
We’re happy happy happy skipping down the street!
One day the neighbor guy took my teddy
Threw him in the air
Like a taxidermist dream
I screamed, “Teddy can’t fly leave him be!”
The bad man zeroed in on Teddy
With an AK-47 in hand
And blew my friend away.
The tiny head flew off
Stuffing everywhere
Daddy!
Oh Daddy come quick!
I think my teddy is sick!
Written by
Patrick Ronan
Categories:
black african american, brother, funny, drug,
Seven-O-Two
I like to listen to Seven O Two at night
We can always count on Kiemo for a fight
If he was President for a day
He would insist on his own way
We could all be taking drugs
And the teacher could flog the thugs
White women he would send abroad
And pay himself if they could not afford
He brushes his teeth and sharpens his tongue
Then runs five miles to expand his lungs
There is no doubt that he can talk
But can he bring his taught to walk
Kiemo knows his constitutional law
Economics and politics without a flaw
Now all he has to learn to do
Tolerate the views of the dissenting few
Written by
Rhoda Tripp
Categories:
addiction, dark, drug, health, humor, kiss, sick,
Infectious Bar Floozy
Boozy
Oozy
Woozy
Floozy
Drug injected, boozy, oozy, Miss.
Flu infected, woozy, floozy kiss.
Written 1/20/18
Contest: Write Me a Tyburn
Hosted by: Kim Rodrigues