Humorous and funny Dog poems and/or funny poems about Dog. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Dog funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Dog Poems.
Poem Details | by
Charlie Knowlton |
Categories:
animal, best friend, dog, funny, humor, pets, silly,
Top 10 things my dogs have never said to me. Ever!
Number 10…"Can we get a cat?"
Number 9…"No,…As a matter of fact I`m not happy to see you."
Number 8…"That`s ok, you eat the rest of that rib eye."
Number 7…"Sorry about your friends leg, and of course i`ll pay for the pillow."
Number 6…"Do I need a mint?"
Number 5…"And where have you been?"
Number 4…"Is there a 12 step group for butt sniffing?"
Number 3…"Please!…Do not rub my belly or scratch my ears. "
Number 2…" You threw it…You go get it."
And the number 1 answer is!
"That`s your third beer ya know."
Poem Details | by
David Fisher |
Categories:
dog, humor, imagination,
We buried our dog, Ding
With her favorite things,
Like our couch, plus our bed
And pillows for our head.
Our carpet she muddled
With dirt and pee puddles,
The window she stared through
To bark at who knows who.
The hedge she sniffed and chewed,
All of our leather shoes,
My truck’s passenger seat,
But not the children’s feet.
Two of our best chickens
She chased like the dickens,
Seven of my wife’s hats,
But not much more than that.
We paid a contractor
Who with a large tractor,
Dug a humongous hole
For our dear doggy’s soul.
And it did our heart good
Though we now sleep on wood;
Without a comforter,
Since we did comfort her.
Poem Details | by
Jacob Cra |
Categories:
childhood, education, children, funny, dog, dog,
I didn’t do my math homework!
I watched T.V instead!
I better come up with an excuse... and quick!
Or else I’m surely dead!
My brother tore it!
It’s in the garbage!
Mom says it causes brain damage!
My power was out!
I had the flu!
I was having trouble excreting my poo!
You know, why even bother?
My excuses are so lame!
I know! My dog ate my homework!
Now to find a dog I can blame...
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
dog, humorous,
Some folks call me a sausage dog
I think they couldn’t be meaner
It’s not my fault I’m long and short
And look like a misshapen wiener
I’ve got four stumpy little legs
So my tummy is near to the ground
My owner’s take me for a drag not a walk
Guess that's why they named me Cigarette!
01~16~15
Contest: Dachshunds – Rob Carmack
~awarded 9th place~
Premiere Contest #13 sponsored by SKAT
Poem Details | by
Anne-Lise Andresen |
Categories:
dog, fun, humor,
Behavior perfect
Deep cold snow how can she poop
My small dog Kissy
If my dog could talk
I try to understand her
She drown in the snow
18.01.2016
A-L Andresen :)
Poem Details | by
Rob Carmack |
Categories:
animal, best friend, dog, humorous, love, pets, thanks,
Your dad, a Dachshund once stuck in Chihuahua.
The best of both in you, with that expectant
Confusing carpets for the lawn enigma.
I know….the raining….getting wet….you can’t.
As coldness chills the room, a sheet for you.
The perfect tucking of in, but you moved!
I ponder, just how crazy is my Boo?
The sheet’s thread count too low to be approved?
Your dance in circles, spinning on the floor.
Rewards and treasures known upon the racks.
Induced by meals and that one pantry door.
In such a fury, choking on the snacks.
I know what God’s book says, I’ve searched it whole.
But still, I hope you have a little soul.
11.14.14
Poem Details | by
Peter Dome |
Categories:
angst, dog, guitar, humorous, people,
It never seems to amaze me
How stupid some people are
Whenever I am out
And take along my guitar.
''Is it a guitar'' people say
''No an ironing board''
I reply with dismay.
''Can you play it?''
''No I just carry it about for fun''
Even though it's a heavy one.
''Are they your dogs''
When out in town
''No'' I reply
''their someone else's
And I'm taking them back to get the ransomed money honey.''
After a while i's an annoyance and not that funny.
Peter Dome.copyright.2015. Oct.
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
dog, humorous,
There was a dog owner named Mark
Whose beagle would constantly bark
The neighbours would moan
They’d steal Benji’s bone
And toss it away in the park
18th February 2016
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
dog, humorous,
How could I not forgive you?
Just one look at your puppy dog eyes
Thaws the heart of this ice maiden
Contest - Micropoetry ain't that tweet – Sponsor Casarah Nance
(105 characters with spaces)
07~31~15
Poem Details | by
Sandra Haight |
Categories:
dog, humor,
We once had a doggy named Dale
That loved taking hold of his tail
He’d chase it all-day
In circles, he’d play-
When able to snatch it he’d wail!
April 26, 2015
~3rd Place~
Contest: Your Best Single Limerick - 5 lines only
Sponsor: Robert Haigh
Judged: 04/24/2018
~3rd Place~
Contest: Limerick Contest
Sponsor: Jan Allison
Judged: 04/29/2015
Poem Details | by
Kim Merryman |
Categories:
dog, funny,
DOGGIE ART
Poodle
Doodle
HAPPY LASSIES
Jolly
Collies
FAMOUS CANINES
Renowned
Greyhounds
YORKSHIRE TERRIER WITH A POODLE CUT
Dorkie
Yorkie
BY THE WAY:
How's your
Schnauzer?
3/19/17
For Jan Allison's Fabulous Fun Footle Contest
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
dog, humorous,
My son has a new dog called Brandy
By jingo that pup is so randy
He caused quite a to do
When he humped my left shoe
No wonder his legs are so bandy!
07-07-17
Poem Details | by
Dean Wood |
Categories:
dog, humorous, , cute,
A dog by the side of the road
Whelped out her cute little load
A copper who saw
Reeled off the law
Cited for littering I’m told
Poem Details | by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson |
Categories:
animal, dog, happy, humor, joy, love, pets,
My name is Spenser
No dog is denser
I'm not well smarted
But I'm big hearted
If you was hurted
I'd be alerted
And I'll come racing
To lick your facing.
Poem Details | by
Robert Gorelick |
Categories:
dog, humor,
In the bullmastiff's breast beats a heart of pure gold
A proud Saxon canine, true caring and bold
Ever steadfast, not trendy
Such an apt chum for Wendy
A real breed apart and a joy to behold
POEM OF THE DAY
3/14/23
(For Wendy Horder and her hunk of love Brix)
Written 3/13/23
Poem Details | by
Ralph Protsik |
Categories:
animal, dog, humor,
The Dachshund’s a marvel on skis
Little legs that stop short of its knees
It can schuss like a pro
Making furrows in snow
(Though its privates are given to freeze)
Poem Details | by
B. Joseph Fitzsimons |
Categories:
dog, humor,
"This is mine, and this is mine, and so is this,"
Says my unfixed dog, Willy, on all he does piss.
Poem Details | by
Ralph Protsik |
Categories:
animal, dog, humor,
A mutt may show up with a rat
Do some terrible things to your hat
But he’s happy for sure
Just to roll in manure
And so grateful that he’s not a cat
Poem Details | by
John Lawless |
Categories:
boy, dog, humor,
Oh, tell her that she’s beautiful
lithe and fluid on the run
her oh so cunning brush of hair
a perfumed brush of coming near.
Tell her of my longing moan
of lonely howl of aching heart
lest she forget we have a date
Tomorrow – dog park – after eight.
©9/29/2019
Realism Art Poetry Contest
Eve Roper - sponsor
Poem Details | by
Clive Culverhouse |
Categories:
art, dog, flower, funny, humor, life, metaphor,
I'm a flower tickler
with a flower tickler's thumb
like my dog before me
although he's more of a philanthropist
than a poet, but, like him, I too bark
my greenery of colours when needed
and tickle flowers
Poem Details | by
Lin Lane |
Categories:
dog, humor,
"Make it quick" they barked. "We all have to pee."
The **** legged one woofed right back, "Don't rush me!"
Female dogs may have fleas
But they don't wee on trees
Trans surgery gets rid of that weenie!
*Not entered in the contest but I couldn't
stop myself from writing a limerick for that photo.
Poem Details | by
Paula Goldsmith |
Categories:
child, dog, food, humor, love, sleep, smile,
Quote By Poet "Puppies and kittens are what little kids dreams are made of."
My puppy is tan and small,
she likes to sleep in mommy's shawl.
She loves to play ball,
while I play with my doll.
We like to play outside,
where she will run and hide.
I will put her in my doll buggy for a ride,
her smile becomes a mile wide.
It's time to go inside,
dinner is ready with chicken that has been fried.
Poem Details | by
Gershon Wolf |
Categories:
dog, fantasy, humor, men,
Out for a walk together
a dog and a man on the heather
Which was which not easy to tell
the dog, perhaps, the one wearing the bell
For the dog looked like the man
and the man, though unplanned
looked so much like the dog
that if they played leapfrog
you could never tell one from another
even swear that they might be two brothers
So if you are out and about and happen to see
a dog and man playing leapfrog, and you’re not visually
impaired or something unfortunate like that
~ I’d say the ‘Twilight Zone’s’ your new habitat
Poem Details | by
Robin L. Gass |
Categories:
funny
If found
in pound!
Poem Details | by
Jean Murray |
Categories:
dog, girlfriend, humorous,
There once was a farmer called Seamus,
who had an incompetant anus.
When out on a date with girlfriend Kate,
he blamed his dog when he farted,
to prevent her being startled.