Humorous and funny Divorce poems and/or funny poems about Divorce. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Divorce funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Divorce Poems.
Poem Details | by
Caryl Muzzey |
Categories:
divorce, humorous,
Stale mate?
Rebate...
7/7/15 Caryl S. Muzzey
Copyright © 2015 by Caryl S Muzzey
First Place Winner ~ "One Footle” Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Judy Kono
Aug. 8, 2015
Poem Details | by
Joyce Johnson |
Categories:
funny
King Henry VIII wed them
In order to bed them.
When they no longer suited
Had them executed.
For Catie's contest
Poem Details | by
Gershon Wolf |
Categories:
divorce, freedom, humor,
Condemned to death
prisoner's granted one last request
Gimme a divorce, said he
Wherever he's headed ~
he wants to be free
Poem Details | by
Richard Breese |
Categories:
angel, baby, child, child abuse, divorce, giggle, humor,
once a child with a rattle
enjoyed crawling around cattle
till its mother found out
and to her ex did shout
you lost your custody battle.
Poem Details | by
Julie Grenness |
Categories:
break up, change, cheer up, divorce, family, funny, goodbye,
MY MOTHER-IN-LAW IS POISONING ME!
I think my mother-in-law is poisoning me.
The electric range is smelling strange,
She tests the smoke detector by cooking everyday....
Now the entire kitchen is acting deranged.
Semolina at 3:30,
Mercury hits 120 degrees!
Nausea and stomach cramps are rising in me,
Red-sauced tripe is afflicting me.
Outside it's now Celsius 43 degrees.
Now Bulimia is what I see,
I have to stay for tea,
Yes, my mother-in-law is poisoning me,
There's much to said for ...
D.I.V.O.R.C.E!!!!!
Poem Details | by
Mark Ackerson |
Categories:
divorce, humorous, love, marriage,
All my exes were pros of the game,
Spending years at perfecting their aim.
They thought it was funny
To take all my money
When the judges said I was to blame!
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein
Poem Details | by
Andrea Dietrich |
Categories:
funny
(Haiku)
empty spot on bed. . .
with TV remote in hand
she sprawls across it
(Limerick)
He used to steal every top sheet
and the blankets that covered her feet.
But now that he’s gone,
all the covers stay on.
Even sleeping, she now finds life sweet!
(Couplet)
Divorce might leave a gal lonely and poor.
At least, she won’t be aroused by a snore.
For P.D.'s Divorce Club Contest
Poem Details | by
Joy Wellington |
Categories:
funny, lost love, sad,
((Haiku))
Love seems endlessly
Then stalactites stalagmites
Divorce comes for sure
((Limerick))
She walk down the isle smiling in white dress
In the courthouse in black dress, what a mess
Lovers dancing on the sand
Divorce and money in hand
Got her money's worth, who laughs last laughs best
((Couplet))
The guy thinks he can outsmart the girl
The girl knows after divorce she owns his world
~Divorce Club~
Contest for : (Destroyer ((Poet
Poem Details | by
Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories:
funny
LIMERICK
You can have the two kids but not the hound
And I'll need the Caddie to get around
Said she I'll take the house
You good for nothin' louse
By your **** and bull I will not be bound
HAIKU
love that drifts apart
like two diverging rivers
ne'er to flow as one
COUPLET
Their marriage made in heaven was as solid as the Rock of Gibraltar
'Til his boozing and roving eyes caused the whole affair to falter
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Placed No. 5 in PDs "Divorce Club" Contest - December 2010
Poem Details | by
Terri Cannan |
Categories:
care, cheer up, depression, divorce, encouraging, funny, homework,
I'm changing my name to bee. I'm busy as a bee. Cooking meals, paying the bills and then there's the groceries. Floors to sweep, floors to mop and the laundry too. So much to get done, always on the run. I'm busy as a bee.
I'm busy as a bee. Doctors appointments and physical therapy. Wash the car and fill up with gas. Taking out the trash. Watching the clock, no time to stop. Gotta move fast.
I'm busy as a bee. Takes my mind off of me. Life's too short to sit in self pity, so if I'm feeling down I guess I best get up and get busy.
Poem Details | by
Cheryl Hoffman |
Categories:
drink, humor,
The couple were upset at divorce court,
Chock Full of Nuts or Tasters Choice,
wife started to bawl,
this was the last straw,
fighting over coffee grounds for divorce.
12-17-16
Poem Details | by
Tahera Mannan |
Categories:
funny
Haiku
That evil Sunday
A downpour of sadness from the sky
We went separate ways
Limerick
The bright Friday of thirteen
I married him in my teen
And in twenties decided to part
For he drank like a silly wart
This saved some damage to my spleen
Couplet
Marriage is the name of a see-saw
And divorce is its major flaw
Poem Details | by
Jimmy Anderson |
Categories:
fantasy, funny, loss, nature
Snow everywhere
once joined, now melting apart
causing much distress.
Santa got divorced and also got fixed
too many little Santa's running around because of his tricks
Santa liked the women.
Too many little guys were swimmin' ;)
Now we all know how Santa got his kicks!
Santa slept around and ate too much grubb
His wife finding out made him join the North Pole Divorce Club!
*For PD's Divorce Club contest.
Poem Details | by
Brenda Mcgrath |
Categories:
divorce, humorous, relationship,
Your note said, "I resign from being your wife."
"I want a divorce and a new life."
I never expected this letter of resignation.
There will be no argument or arbitration.
Thanks for sparing me the drama with your resignation letter.
You may find you can't do any better.
A notice to terminate the marriage is not required.
Effectively immediately you are fired!
Written 10/2/16
"Resignation" contest
Sponsor: Navda Ivette Negron
Awarded 3rd place
Poem Details | by
Andrew Battaglino |
Categories:
divorce, funny, strength,
There once was a man named Morse
Who was really as strong as a horse
But when he feared a little mouse
Running madly around the house
His wife quickly filed for a divorce
Poem Details | by
Brenda Mcgrath |
Categories:
adventure, celebration, divorce, funny, humorous, marriage, romance, wedding,
When my husband and I were in Las Vegas, I had a great suggestion,
To go to the Little White Chapel, and renew our vows in celebration.
I thought it would be such a lark we wouldn’t forget.
Having Elvis perform the ceremony would be the best thing yet!
However we never made it to the chapel, he refused.
To do such a silly thing did not leave him amused.
Maybe that was an indication of what was to come.
Divorce ensued, and sorrow beat its drum.
I want to go to the Little White Chapel with a new man.
We would have so much fun before our life began!
We could play a slot machine on our way out.
Then we would be man and wife with a payout!
Poem Details | by
Rico Leffanta |
Categories:
divorce, funny, humor, lost love, marriage, passion, senses,
The bride complained her perfume
Had failed to seduce the groom
Because she was placid
He found himself flaccid
And quietly left the room
Poem Details | by
Richard Nnoli |
Categories:
africa, break up, cheer up, divorce, for her, humanity, humor,
The last word
For every end times
Too bad
The heart bleeds
When goodbye
Becomes
The last word!
Poem Details | by
Roger Turner |
Categories:
anger, divorce, funny, giggle, humorous, moving on, relationship,
On the first day of x-mas
My ex wife gave to me
a card from her new attorney
On the second day of x-mas
My ex wife gave to me
Two weeks to leave
and a card from her new attorney
On the third day of x-mas
my ex wife gave to me
Three poloraids
two weeks to leave
and a card from her new attorney
On the fourth day of x-mas
my ex wife gave to me
Four hotel bills
Three polaroids
two weeks to leave
and a card from her new attorney
On the fifth day of x-mas
my ex wife gave to me
five ....oh hell
I was gone...by this time
who am I fooling
and a card from her new attorney
Poem Details | by
Kash Poet |
Categories:
funny
Midnight
Bedfight
© kash poet(15th July 2011)
===========================
Placement: 5th ;(July 2011)
Contest:A Free Choice
Sponsor:Brian Strand
Poem Details | by
Nancy Kaufman |
Categories:
divorce, humor,
I parked my car on the corner of Jim, and
am sitting here patiently waiting for him..
For thirty-seven years I was his wife.
Some things never change in this life.
I'm generally early.
He's chronically late, so I play the game
of hurry up and wait..
I parked my car on the corner of Jim, sit
patiently waiting, again and again...
Poem Details | by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson |
Categories:
divorce, humor, husband, marriage, murder, satire, wife,
"Shine my boots, wench!" Larry said
"Fetch my wine and cheese and bread!
Tidy up my murphy bed!
Feed the hog and Mr. Ed!
Corn mash for Rhode Island Red!
Why look so gobsmacked by dread?
Did you not say I thee wed?"
"Oh, I said it, until dead"
I confessed, then bashed his head.
Poem Details | by
Monique Pagan |
Categories:
divorce, fun, hate, humor, leaving, remember, sad love,
He was a temporary hookup
He went out like a garbage pickup
He was ugly at most
Tasted burnt like toast
Soon I'll need a medical checkup
Poem Details | by
George Stanworth |
Categories:
divorce, humor, humorous, love, silly, travel, work,
We nearly went to Venice. (You had to go to work.)
We nearly went to Paris. (You said your head was sore.)
We nearly went to Brussels. (You said your finger hurt.)
We nearly went to Venice. (You had to go to work.)
We nearly went to Chile. (You wouldn’t leave your ‘Merc’.)
We nearly went to Paris. (You said your head was sore.)
We nearly went to Venice (You had to go to work.)
We nearly went to Counselling. (I left the day before!)
Poem Details | by
Howard Kerr |
Categories:
betrayal, divorce, family, fun, happy, hilarious, humor,
husband’s cheap gift wife’s
expression priceless wife drags
tightwad mate to court
Created and posted : 23 November 2020
Contest : Make Me Laugh With Some Humour
Sponsor : Tania Kitchin
NB A little humour never goes amiss.
Some men and women are so mean they should be sued is the moral.
I’ve a sneaking suspicion that this case is pointless!