Humorous and funny Depression poems and/or funny poems about Depression. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Depression funny poems!
Written by
Jerry T Curtis
Categories:
depression, humor, humorous, irony,
Saving Mcgee
Now down at our local pub
I noticed McGee at the bar
So I pulled up a chair, A bit unaware
That he was a bit under par
He said to me "Last night,
I tried to take me own life
I wanted to end my misery
In this world full of struggle and strife
So, I started to take a thousand pills,
and wash them down with wine
but after the second aspirin
I started to feel just fine
Written by
Jslambert Mister Roboto
Categories:
death, dedication, depression, funeral, funny, inspirational
Amy Winehouse-Should Have Went To Rehab
They tried to make you go to Rehab...
you said...
NO!
NO!!
NO!!!
Shoulda' packed your bags ta' Rehab...
you wouldn't
GO!
GO!!
GO!!!
boo-hoo hot-mess
Wine-HORSE
Written by
David Brown
Categories:
anxiety, dark, depression, humor, image,
Viral
Thoughts
and
feelings
on a
downward
spiral,
now
that's
what's
truly,
going
viral
Written by
Jslambert Mister Roboto
Categories:
angst, confusion, depression, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, introspection
Shameful Morning
not sure how she got here
only know she needs to leave
underneath the stranger
my arm numb; asleep,
mouth a desert.
a hundred dead cigarettes dance my tongue dry
princess of night
exposed by light.
get me out of this;
another dreaded morning mess.
bed broken
along with my will.
I swore never again;
the lie is half the thrill.
~JSLambert
Written by
Pat Adams
Categories:
character, crazy, depression, humor,
The Suicidal Moth
Once there was a moth that flew up to Doctor John
He said I'm depressed, I'm a suicidal one"
Doc John said, "I'm no shrink,"
"Why stop here do you think?"
He said, "Well, I had to, because the light was on!"
Written by
Joe Dimino
Categories:
baptism, dark, depression, humorous, introspection, longing
A Bad Day All Around
I determined to take seize
of a lightning bolt! Paused
at every tree. Flashed and
thundered all about – stood
by every metal post, just
to see if God wanted me.
Went to the nearest church…
prayed for a voice or sign:
and from behind the altar
heard a gulping sound,
pastor draining the sacrament
wine. Not a good day.
Written by
Andrew Crisci
Categories:
depression, friendship, funny, love, nostalgia, places
Quadruple Limerick-The Australian Dingo
I raised an Australian dingo,
no name came to mind but Ringo;
he jumped on me,
ripped my clothes daily...
it costed me plenty of money!
Only once I left him alone;
good grief... my furniture was torn!
Oh, should I be mad...
or be kind instead?
I'll sleep over it for tonight!
All Ringo did was run, bark and howl,
mistaking a small cat for an owl;
They took him away
to the zoo today;
he'll whimper form his cage, not rest!
I'll take him back, lest he behaves;
his lesson he'll learn: good manners!
Now, Ringo just stares
to earn forgiveness...
it's fun to play with him and laugh!
Written by
Annie Lander
Categories:
dedication, depression, freedom, growing up, humorous, stress
He Was Both the Dope and the Hero
Doping confessing by Lance Armstrong
Why tell the truth, when a lie can set you free
The sympathy card, the court jester: with slumbering tears
The windows wipers wipe the milky tears from his eyes.
He compete, and achieves victory through deceit
Does a hero cheat, his way to victory?
A hero was never label a bully throughout history
Spiderman, superman , Robin Hood
heroes never confessed their sins
The incredible hulk did a powerful transformation
Restoring international credibility in prime time;
Time after time
A myth is a myth even in the past, present and future.
Written by
Steven Fordyce
Categories:
angst, confusion, depression, freedom, funny, humorous
My Secret Prison
Trapped again!
Maze hidden cheddar eluding
every twisting turn a doorway
to the path I’ve already forgotten
a spirit broken within each hidden cul-de-sac.
I cry.
Depression building my will
crumbling into fatal despair
that rages with a whisper
as quiet as a hurricane.
I sleep.
I scream at one wall
HA! HA! HA!
hundreds more continue laughing.
Right! Left! NO! RIGHT! Left! Right! LEFT! YES! Right!
I succumb.
Cheddar thoughts and running
water sustain my desire to escape
through walls of scent
filled dreams of freedom.
I laugh.
Test complete. Failure.
Should have smelled for Camembert.
Written by
Linda Hays-Gibbs
Categories:
death, depression, eulogy, farewell, feelings, giggle
Funny Man
Funny Man!
By Linda Hays-Gibbs
Oh funny man you touch the hardest heart
With messages to crumble and start
A snickering or flickering to spark
A laugh a full belly rumbler
A genius of illogical and logical matter
Without him the whole world is astronomically sadder
Oh let our grief someday subside
That we in heaven will find
A bench upfront to see his latest comedic job ( I pray)
The jester (Robin Williams) at heaven's court for God
Written by
Iron Bender
Categories:
africa, anger, bereavement, depression, humorous,
Am the Owner
I have my life to lead
My own precious life
If it’s my life,
Then you should know
Am the owner
The morning breakfast
The midday lunch
The night dinner
Concerns nobody
Co’s I am the owner
The owner of my life
Is really me,
Understand and bear in mind
My destiny, my life
Am the owner.
Written by
David Brown
Categories:
cry, dark, depression, funny, humor, satire
Swimming the Dark Sea
Such pain, such pain this poor heart's born,
with so little pleasures in return,
much gifts it has bestowed, unearned
now, here it lies; morose, forlorn
Alas, alas, what curse has brought this
wrath upon such an innocent soul,
its spirit broken by this tragic role
like Atlas or more so, Sisyphus
Fall down again from feet to knees
to plumb the dark and dreary depths,
the length and seemingly infinite breadth
of this warm, salty sea of self-pity
These murky waters, born from tears
these waves and tides that chop and churn,
these silent sobs leave one to yearn
for one small thing; a tender ear
Written by
John Fenn
Categories:
dedication, depression, funny, life
Gardeners Lament
The weeds that grow upon the lawn
Continue growing when they’re shorn
Though treated with a herbicide
It’s no surprise that none have died
The chemicals that you apply
Should make them shrivel up and die
But only seem to feed and nourish
Makes them grow and makes them flourish
Don’t sit there feeling all forlorn
Regarding such a sickly lawn
There’s one solution guaranteed
To eradicate, that awful weed
Get up, go out, put on your coat
Buy yourself a nanny goat
© John W Fenn 21-08-2009
Written by
Marilyn Williams
Categories:
depression, faith, for him, funny, future, memory
Do I Remember
I write it, but remember not.
I say it, but forget me not.
I feel it how it has to come,
did I not feel like a perfect bum.
So what it is I am trying to remember,
my place and where I was December.
Written by
Brian Cooper
Categories:
character, crazy, depression, emotions, how i feel, humor
Bipolar Zen
Unhappy face then
Happy face now forms again
Zen a transitory friend
Copyright 3/11/14
Written by
Julie Grenness
Categories:
addiction, depression, feelings, football, humorous,
Pfs
Why do men sit there sulking alone?
Is it worse than Premenstrual Syndrome?
If PFS worse for men?
Indeed, by PFS. what is meant?
Why, it's Post Football Syndrome!!
Don't say it's only a game, Oh no!
Round here, that's blasphemy,
Or, let's say, utter heresy,
SHHHH, let's tiptoe away.....
Dodging his tantrums today....
Find something else to do,
How does PFS affect you?
Why do men sit sulking alone?
Easy, it's Post Football Syndrome....
SSHHHH......
Written by
Stuart Chandler
Categories:
car, depression, humor, loss,
Transport Costs
Its My car
Thousands of miles together we travelled
maps then a sat nav journeys unravelled
collected all sorts, even went to the tip
bus into town, no in the car I'll just nip
MOT services tax, insurance as well
paying the bills down to me it all fell
Now at the end the bills just to big
think its all over I have to admit
one last journey together we made
down to the scrapers only I walked away
the end of this tale is not very nice
travelling on roads comes at a price
pounds shillings and pence me it did cost
but for my beautiful car its life was lost...
Written by
Oed Loves Me Not
Categories:
depression, humanity, humor, humorous, sad,
Hating One Another --- An Almost Nonsensical But Pessimistic Poem
We hate one another.
We can't get together.
We know it's better to be friends,
But we just don't even bother.
Our turmoil is so intense.
It's at the end of our tether.
All the King's Horses
And all the King's Men
Couldn't get us together.
Oh, no, it's over. Why bother?
Written by
Dave Moore
Categories:
angst, depression, dog, funny, good morning, humor
Meditator
THE MEDITATOR
Oh what joy it seems to me
Drinking an early morning tea.
While watching the sun rise across the Bay
Changing night into day.
My Maltese, lies stretched across my knees
Knows he's not here to play but me to please,
But, my time to meditate just went sour
Oh God – What is the hour?
Not time to mediate
Just to contemplate.
Mistakes I've made and things I dread
How fast can I get back to bed?
One last thing so you don't get bit.
NOLI TANGERE CANEM MEAN. MORDIt !
It is what I wrote on his tag
So disregard those speedy wags.
Hope I spelled that right.
It means: "DON'T PAT MY DOG, HE BITES !"
Written by
Raven Tones
Categories:
absence, dark, depression, goodbye, humorous, metaphor
Pavement Pancake
Slowly We Are All Falling,
Some Just Quicker Than Others,
Some Will Have An Arm To Grab Before Hitting Bottom,
Some Never Bothered To Pack A Parashute,
And The Others Are Just Enjoying The Fresh Air On The Way Down,
Awaiting To Become A Pavement Pancake
If we have a hand to hold us we may never had fallen
And if we had an ear lent someone would have heard cries for help
My parachute is broken, no ever listened, and the held let go of me
Before we, land the only thing left to think is,
i wonder if anyone has any maple syrup
Written by
Terri Cannan
Categories:
care, cheer up, depression, divorce, encouraging, funny
Bee
I'm changing my name to bee. I'm busy as a bee. Cooking meals, paying the bills and then there's the groceries. Floors to sweep, floors to mop and the laundry too. So much to get done, always on the run. I'm busy as a bee.
I'm busy as a bee. Doctors appointments and physical therapy. Wash the car and fill up with gas. Taking out the trash. Watching the clock, no time to stop. Gotta move fast.
I'm busy as a bee. Takes my mind off of me. Life's too short to sit in self pity, so if I'm feeling down I guess I best get up and get busy.
Written by
Harold Hunt Sr
Categories:
depression, funny, stress,
Stressed Out
Stressed out.
Kids are crying.
Dog is barking
Phone is ringing
Someones at the door
Lawyer is on the phone.
Tv is too loud.
Car won't start
Bike has flat
Husband yelling
Fell and broke my foot.
Tell the doctor i'm stressed out
He yells code blue.
Dam it's quite here in my grave.
Written by
Donna Ahsinger
Categories:
age, change, depression, humor, retirement,
Golden Years
Oh what's so good about the golden years?
Kids are grown and gone away.
Still there's no time to play.
Once in awhile they'll stop in to say,
have you got a couple of bucks?
I'm a little short today.
Oh what's so good about the golden years?
If you can't remember and you can't hear.
You got experience behind you, they say.
Learned it all through trial and era.
Wonder if that'll look good on my resume?
Oh what's so good about the golden years?
What once was important,
has faded away.
Our minds are weaker,
our bodies are feeble.
Oh what grim display.
Just to survive another day.
Written by
Muhammad Safa Thajudeen
Categories:
absence, depression, evil, funny love, together,
Heart Vs Thoughts
Heart and thoughts like a bull cart,
To walk together straight,
Behave like an enemy my thoughts,
Reminding the one did depart,
Pinning my heart!
Written by
Juliet Levin
Categories:
conflict, confusion, cry, depression, heartbroken, lost
It's Funny
It's funny
How we would take
A bullet
For the person
Behind the trigger
And it's funny
How we would love
Someone who is incapable of loving
And it's funny
How we would give it all up
For something that will give you nothing
And it's funny
How we would cry and hurt
For someone who brings you only happiness
And it's funny
How we would lose ourselves
For someone who is forever lost