Humorous and funny Birthday poems and/or funny poems about Birthday. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Birthday funny poems!
Written by
Poet Destroyer A
Categories:
adventure, blessing, corruption, earth, environment, funny, nature,
Earth Day
~Planet of the apes~
Ape should inherit the world
Perhaps --maybe, just maybe!
Earth has a chance
~*~
Written by
Carolyn Devonshire
Categories:
funny, holiday
Valentine's Day Musings
All year long he puts my heart on a shelf
No surprise I’d rather be by myself
If there’s no Valentine treat
From this worthless hunk of meat
He can go on making love to himself
Remember there’s an “I” in Valentine
So if no one’s around to say, “Be mine”
Just splurge – get a new hairdo
Party with an all-girl crew
Check out the divorce rate and say, “I’m fine”
*For Francine's Valentine Limerick contest
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, valentines day, roses are red,
My Funny Valentine
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I’m up for a quickie
Do you fancy one too?
13th February 2015
Written by
Paula Goldsmith
Categories:
day, fun, giggle, night, october, stars, sun,
The Space Between Stars Is Not Empty
As I sit here upon this full moon,
it is October not hot June.
The comets whiz by playing a happy tune,
they make me want to swoon.
The space between stars is not empty hooray,
it is filled with colors of blue and gray.
I love to watch by night and by day,
being filled with both the moon and sun spray.
I see this pretty space beltway,
the shinning diamond stars have much to say.
Each star has a roll to play,
out here in this pretty space buffet.
Written by
Mark J. Halliday
Categories:
chocolate, holiday, humorous, religion, valentines day,
Valentine
Valentinius--
Not much is known about him,
But all girls love him.
Saint Valentine's Feast,
On February fourteenth:
Mostly chocolates!
It would make more sense
To honor Aphrodite...
So then, why don't we?!
Written by
Dennis Davis
Categories:
culture, funny, granddaughter, grandfather, humorous, political, presidents day,
Presidents Day
I was eating breakfast yesterday with my 12 year old granddaughter and I asked her “What day is tomorrow?” Without skipping a beat she said, “Its Presidents Day!” She is so smart, so I asked her “What does Presidents Day mean?” I was waiting for something about Obama, Bush or even Clinton. She replied “Presidents Day is when the President steps out of the White House and if he sees his shadow we have another year of bull ****.” You know it hurts like hell when hot coffee spurts out of your nose.
Written by
Gerard Keogh Jr.
Categories:
fantasy, funny, parody, science fiction
B Horror On a Beach Day.
Soon the curious swelled to a mob.
as they gathered to gape at the glob.
Someone prods with a stick.
as another screams: " Quick!"
"We must run for our lives! It's the Blob!"
Written by
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
Categories:
funny,
A Ku Ku Krazy Day
a very loud noise
started ringing from my clock—
I fell out of bed
a bumped water glass
rolling across the hard floor—
I slipped on my head
a loud screaming sound
resonated through the house—
my face turned bright red
my husband woke up
hysterically laughing—
I was on the floor
I could not get up
without someone assisting—
ku ku krazy day
I went back to bed
wondering what day it was—
perhaps, tomorrow
Ó April 18, 2012
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest: ????.....!!!!!.....Ku Ku Crazy......!!!!!.....????
Sponsor Tracie ~*~ Indigo Dreamweaver
Written by
Bl Devnath
Categories:
funny, love, valentines day,
Emotional Utterance
old tigers from dens
waiting to come out of sleep
for Valentines kiss
old tigresses fear
emotional utterance
may be played again
Wish you all P.S. friends Happy Valentines Day, enjoy
For Contest: 101 in a ROW contest -5
Sponsored by: PD
Written by
Pat Adams
Categories:
christmas, holiday, horror, humor,
Santa's Bad Day
The elves filled Santa's sack with toys
For all the good little girls and boys
When he lifted it up he used his back
Instead of his legs and he tore his sack
An elf gave a band-aid to Santa, their proctor
Santa said, "No, I need to go to a doctor"
But sadly a doctor he would do without
There was no time, so he started his route
He stood up in the sleigh, his jewels in a brace
Yelling, "OW, Merry Christmas!", all over the place!
Written by
Paula Goldsmith
Categories:
day, flower, friend, giggle, humor, uplifting, yellow,
You live in a fantasy
What a pretty day,
sitting watching bees play.
My yellow sunflower bends.
I am perched up high,
friends will go by.
Dragon fly and a fairy are friends.
Written by
Cheryl Hoffman
Categories:
humor,
Moving Day
I jotted the number down with a pen
called and set the date of time and when
two men and a truck
finally showed up
outside my door stood two stick figured men
7-6-18
Written by
Ed Morris
Categories:
funny, humorous, poetry, poets,
A Day In the Life of An Aspiring Villanelle Poet
This form repeats too much, I say.
It’s hard to write a villanelle—
I’ll try again some other day.
My rhyme begins without delay;
It’s going fine, then—what the hell?
This form repeats too much, I say.
Doggone it! This is not okay!
I’m under some nefarious spell.
I’ll try again some other day.
But no, I cannot stay away.
I breathe, then smell that same old smell:
This form repeats too much, I say.
I took the bait; I’ve fallen prey;
The crude result I cannot tell—
I’ll try again some other day.
And thus I end this odd ballet.
(I’ve really never danced too well.)
This form repeats too much, I say;
I’ll try again some other day.
Written by
Paloma P
Categories:
allegory, day, deep, emotions, fear, humor, hyperbole,
Nothing More Or Less
hid insecurities within
ambiguous humor &
convoluted whimsies,
rules consistently changing
in a game which required
hardly more than breath,
nothing less than obscurity
twisting a fallible fancy,
seizing day's intangibility
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous,
And On the 7th Day He Rested - Bawdy
I heard of a fella named Roger
Who had the most ginormous todger
Guys envied his dong
(Twas twelve inches long)
Six widows now share Rodger lodger!
These widows don’t charge Roger rent
But night after night Roger’s spent -
This randy young chappy
Sure makes these gals happy
I’m surprised his todger’s not bent
05/17/21
Written by
Lindsay Laurie
Categories:
humor,
One Day I'Ll Get There
Hi ho! Hi ho! Off to the gym I go,
but a friend rang me wouldn’t you know.
Now I’m sorry to say,
I can’t make it today.
That makes it three thousand days in a row.
Written by
Kim Rodrigues
Categories:
angst, humor, valentines day,
Valentine Schmalentine
VALENTINE SCHMALENTINE
Walking on bleeding hearts like eggshell parts
My valentine broke Cupid’s angel wings
I don’t know what to believe when he brings
Ample heart-shaped boxes of Chocolate darts
We’ve been together since I don’t know when
He loves me he loves me not a gold ring
He comes home when he wants to, it’s his thing
Doesn’t like when I question where’s he been
Hopefully he’ll propose on bended knee
Expecting a dozen wild red roses
Or lay some myself where he decomposes
And his valentine, that’s me, will be free
1/21/2017
Contest
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
car, humorous,
Always Pay and Display Or You'Ll Make Rita's Day
Sour Rita is a meter maid
she’s checking car drivers have paid
if you step out of line
she will issue a fine
of Rita drivers are afraid
Her beady eyes dart round the lot
she’s looking for folk who forgot
to pay and display
and it makes her day
to impose a fine like a shot
From fining she’ll never deter
don’t attempt to reason with her -
just zip up your gob
she’s doing her job
next journey arrange a chauffeur!
4/26/19
Written by
Jerry T Curtis
Categories:
humorous, valentines day,
Valen-Time
Valen-time a woman's perspective
Inspired by one of Jan Alison's recent writes
You've given me red roses
carnations violets too
You even gave me tulips
To show your love was true
But now these days it seems
that the garden must be dead
'Cause the only kind of (flower)
that I get's for making bread
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
food, for her, humorous,
She Masticates Three Times a Day
Sweet Caren’s an ace masticator
and opens her mouth like a gator
Breakfast dinner and tea
She will chew thoroughly
Her husband just acts as her waiter!
Inspired by this poem written by Caren Krutsinger
www.poetrysoup.com/poem/i_masticate_a_lot_1050599
Posted with full permission of Caren
8/11/18
Written by
David Welch
Categories:
children, day, fun, humor, seasons, winter, youth,
Kids' Snow Day
Just last night we got two feet of snow,
enough to make all of the school’s close,
kids get excited, ready to blow,
made them put on all their heavy clothes,
what happened next everybody knows,
the boys ran outside, started a row,
air crisscrossed with snowballs they throw,
if you get hit you feel slushy woe
until soaked socks chill up the toes,
how winter should be, I deem it so!
My teenage daughter flips through her phone,
into the white she’s too ‘cool’ to go,
the couch, it seems, is permanent home,
my son with snowball creeps up real low,
I hear her shrieks, and just say,”Oh no.”
This day really does belong to the snow.
Written by
Rhona Mcferran
Categories:
assonance, childhood, humor, humorous, silly, youth,
Rainy Play Day
Slosh Sploshes
in my Galoshes
reveling in the rain
Muddle Muck
I am a Duck
and cannot be contained
Flap Slap
something Madcap
waddling soaking wet
My mother says
I am the Muddiest
thing she has ever met!
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
desire, humor, poetry, word play,
'Poem of the Day'
My aspirations mock me
my 'poetry's' prose
When I 'sink' "I've 'got it now"
ze toilet overflows
My metaphor's hum-drum, similes stale
my allusions as delicate as Moby the Whale
My plots are just schemes, so are my themes
at night they turn dreams into screams...
Oh, how I wish just for once I could say ~
I've really truly penned 'Poem of the Day'
Written by
Brian Strand
Categories:
humor, winter, word play,
BOXING DAY BLUES a hiku sonnet
shorts,white socks
sandals and panama-
winter-white legs
no wind,blue skies
dozing in a deckchair-
my afternoon tea stews
hottest day of summer
flying ants on high-
a swallows' drive by
summer-days ever-lasting
memories so tender-tasting
Written by
Zamreen Zarook
Categories:
age, angel, beautiful, beauty, body, boyfriend, celebration, celebrity, change, character, creation, desire, emotions, children, friendship, girl, girlfriend, hero, humorous, i love you, image, life, memorial day, memory, middle school, relationship, romantic, school, society, student, teen, teenage, truth, wisdom, woman, women, words, world, youth,
Fake Words
Fake Words – Zamreen Zarook
God have given us mouth,
Not to speak to north and south,
Tongue is given under an oath,
So it’s our duty to protect them both.
Girls chat fake with boys,
Having a notion that the boys are toys,
They often make varied noise,
Thinking to keep a trap on handsome guys.
Boys are also human being,
So it’s not possible being clean,
Things varies in the way they are seen,
So positive thinking will make you keen.
Boys’ minds are pure,
As it is pure bio,
So don’t try to pour vino,
Which will take decades to get cure.