Humorous and funny Dad poems and/or funny poems about Dad. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Dad funny poems!
Written by
Ronald D Thompson
Categories:
humorous, silly,
Why Am I So Cold Dad
‘Why am I so cold dad, the cold I cannot cut?'
‘Well it’s snowing really hard son and icy underfoot.’
‘But my brothers and my sisters, it doesn’t bother them,
so why am I so cold and from where does all this stem?’
‘I wouldn’t really worry son but I couldn’t say for sure,
at the moment as far as I’m concerned there’s no specific cure!’
‘But why am I so cold dad it really isn’t fair?
I shouldn’t be this cold dad for I’m a polar bear!’
Written by
Maureen McGreavy The Insolent Rib
Categories:
father, humor, mother,
My Dad Is Dead, I Think
Try to recall
What was he like?
Seems so long ago
Years and fathers alike.
Was he the second,
Or maybe the third?
So many behind me
My memory is blurred.
My mom's average is low,
Two years at the most;
Believe me twelve fathers
Is nothing to boast.
He looked so familiar,
How could I forget?
Was he my real dad?
I fill with regret,
For now he lies buried
Six feet below.
Was he my real dad?
I may never know.
circa 1989
Written by
David Crandall
Categories:
dad, funny, memory,
Dadella DeVil
(To be sung to the tune of "Cruella DeVil from Disney's 101 Dalmations)
Dadella DeVil, Dadella DeVil
If he don't make you laugh, no funny thing will
I think of him, and now I'm laughing still
Dadella, Dadella
You'll wait for him to come home from work until
You see your Dadella DeVil
At first you think Dadella's kind of nutty
He might pick you and to twirl you aroun'
But just when you think, for him you are quite ready
He'll change it up and turn you upside down
This crazy man, this lighthearted guy
I'll never forget him to the day I die
When Dad came home, it sure gave me a thrill
Dadella, Dadella DeVil
Written by
Sarah Cassleman
Categories:
dad, family, funny, grandfather, grandmother, mother, mom, dad, dad, mom,
My Heritage
My heritage is a mixture
Of backgrounds. Let's start on
My Dad's side of the family.
My Dad's mom is Irish and English.
My Dad's dad is Irish and German.
My Mom's mom is Scottish and Irish.
My Mom's dad is blood Hungarian.
So in other words,
I'm a mutt! or as others say,
"Heinz 57!"
Written by
Tim Ryerson
Categories:
fantasy, funny,
How Tweety Boid Fwew Dad Cooky-Coup
Otay! I’m an alien, toe what?
I used to wive on the pwanet Pwuto
Too told! TOE, I fwew to the moon
BOOOW-ING! (Eveeting too white!)
Toe I fwuttered down to Waw Tageles
Where I betame a BIG movie tar
Dey trew a party for my pwemier
but a bwack fuwwy fewine cwashed it!
Yep, I taw dat puddy-tat teak in too
Den he tunned me wit his tun gun!
Wucky for me, I dot away tumhow
Now I got dis widdle speech intetiment…
PS: Ewmer Fudd and me have become wather cwose since then because he had a
similar expewience when Bugs Bunny conked him on the head with an oversized
cawwot...
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
angel, baby, child, child abuse, divorce, giggle, humor,
nerd dad
once a child with a rattle
enjoyed crawling around cattle
till its mother found out
and to her ex did shout
you lost your custody battle.
Written by
John Posey
Categories:
dad, family, father daughter, humorous, sister,
Daddy's Mantel Clock
Daddy had a mantel clock on that shelf above the fire.
I remember how it sometimes seemed to call my Sis a liar.
Sis would be out on a date and the wheels of time would turn
My dad, it seemed would always be awake when she returned.
Now Daddy was quite strict on Sis – at nine she must be in.
And she was in real trouble if it was as late as ten.
“Darlin’, what’s the time?” he’d yell as she slipped in..
“Daddy, it’s about nine,” she’d shout, as that old clock struck ten.
Written By John Posey
12/25/12
Written by
Andrew Crisci
Categories:
beautiful, child, dad, holocaust, humor, life, war,
Guido's Humorous Laughter
How could a father tell his son
that seeing people boarding
trains and sleeping in bunker
beds was only a silly game?
I'm sure, he never meant to lie!
And that innocent child
went along having fun;
his dad told him to behave,
promising him a large tank.
Guido's humorous laughter
was the mask he wore
to shield him from terror.
Not thinking his dad would be shot,
he smiled when soldiers took him away.
The war ended, he got a ride in a tank!
Favorite movie: Life Is Beautiful
Written by
J.W. Earnings
Categories:
angst, confusion, crazy, dad, environment, father, fear, feelings, kids, funny, growing up, how i feel, inspiration, life, lost, memory, pain, stress, time, words, youth,
Forgetfulness X-X
Oh no!! I forgot –
I had a plate of dessert
In the cool freezer
Oh no!! Dad forgot –
He left his blue bowl of fruit
On the clean counter!
Written by
Michael Campbell
Categories:
children, dad, grandparents, growing up, humorous, love, simple,
Boys
Running
Leaping
Spinning
Crashing
Running, leaping, wild,
Like a blur, my spinning, crashing, child.
Written by
Raj Napal
Categories:
children, culture, dad, hair, humor, society, teen,
Man Bun
My son is growing a man bun.
I don’t know how big it’ll be when he’s done.
He’s only sixteen you know and at his age it’s fun.
So I’ll just watch but if it gets too big, I’ll have to run.
My son is growing a man bun.
I don’t know how big it’ll be when he’s done.
He’s only sixteen you know and at his age it’s fun.
So I’ll just watch, but if it gets too big, I’ll have to run.
I told him to grow a man beard, a big bushy one, like mine.
But, he tells me that’s not for him as he’ll look like a bum.
What! Is he saying his dad is a bum and dumb?
Well, he’s a kid; he’ll be different when he grows into a man!
Written by
Joe Flach
Categories:
funny
Pilot Dad
There once was a pilot from Alpine
Who became a father in month nine
Took her to the hangar
Where inside he did bang ‘er
But like his plane, didn’t pull out in time
Written by
Poet. Undertaker
Categories:
humor,
My Faculty,My Dad
Once there was a man called Hot, the thief
Crash and Smoke are his favorite disciples
Crash profess "Hell the modesty"
Smoke profess "Pray the modesty"
bloody what could be a common cause?
Written by
T Wignesan
Categories:
grandfather, humorous,
Limerick: Once a Lonely Grand-Dad In a Log-Jam
Limerick : Once a Lonely Grand-Dad in a Log-Jam
Once a Lonely Grand-Dad in a Log-Jam
Paid an urgent visit to a Grande-Dame*
She lifted the stuck log
During Pea-Souper smog
Damn ! Got carried down Grand-Dad Rapids – Wham !
* Dame : pronounced as in French
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
Written by
Larry Belt
Categories:
funny
Disco Dad
I first learned to dance when I was four
But my kids won't let me do it no more
They say I look like a perv
The way I wiggle a swerve
They say I even embarrass the floor
Written by
Muhereza Rodgers Roger
Categories:
baby, funny, hero, inspiration, memorial day,
Old Son, Young Dad
He died forty
with strength and wit
He left a son Young and young
He died nighty
With bones no teeth
He left a boy pale and forty
They meet in paradise
Dad still forty
Son at nighty
Dad thought it was grand pa
Son thought he was grand son
Who had died also
Written by
Brenda Mcgrath
Categories:
christian, dad, father, humorous, religious,
Little Georgia Peach
She was a Preacher’s daughter and a little Georgia peach,
With a slow southern drawl in her unassuming speech.
Blonde hair, blue eyes, and a shape that caught the eye,
Which made her God-fearing father just want to sigh…
He preached in his sermons to turn the other cheek,
But she had to conquer an unrelenting stubborn streak.
“Stay on the straight and narrow,” her Dad warned her with a frown.
“God is watching up there… you don’t want to let Him down.”
Written by
Darlene Gifford
Categories:
child, dad, humor,
Daddy Neck Stretchers
A long neck giraffe,
I saw at the zoo.
And I wished my head
could be up high, too!
Daddy, I asked,
Why is my neck so small?
I want a giraffe's neck,
long and tall.
Then I could touch
the sky so blue,
just like the giraffe's
with his neck-tall view.
I need a neck stretcher.
Daddy, please get me one.
To be high up in the air,
would be so much fun!
Suddenly, Up! Up! Up!
I felt myself rise!
With my head in the clouds,
I was no longer kid sized.
Next to the giraffe,
I sat proud and tall.
My daddy's the best
neck stretcher of all.
Written by
Julie Grenness
Categories:
dad, family, father, giggle, growing up, river, time,
My Father Used To Say
MY FATHER USED TO SAY.......
My father used to say...
"Don't come back if you drown!"
He often acted the clown...
My endearing mum used to say..
"They'll come home in time for tea,
Wait and see.."
My Father used to say...
"Kids come home when they're hungry!
Now don't come back if you drown...."
My Father was always playing the clown..
River of time, all water under the bridge,
Time and the river, flowing away.
Things my Father used to say.
Written by
Samantha Farley
Categories:
dad, humorous, mom,
After Eight
Dear mother
Worn out
Doth smother
Her daughters
With boredom
And nothing to do
Dear father
No doubt
Won’t bother
To listen
To daughters
For he’s tired too
Written by
Running Wolves
Categories:
baby, children, dad, family, humorous,
Diaper Alert
My God!
what's in yond wind yee broke
doth burn mine eyes
and make me choke.
Such bitter breeze
such wafting savour
assaults mine senses
which flee in terror!
No sewage pit
nor stagnant mire
cans't rival thine
unholy power.
A road dead skunk
in a summer's swelter
would smell more like a rose
most precious flower.
What cursed perfume
thou villainous rouge
doth linger in thine wake
be gone and find your mom I say
it's her turn for goodness sake!
Written by
Reason A. Poteet
Categories:
11th grade, children, dad, humor, mom,
Tongue - Twister
Mama Price has gone shopping; Papa orders pizza.
Pandemonium proves itself at the supper table.
Papa answers the phone, while the Price clan depletes a
whole double-large pizza and sides before he is able
to say goodbye. Pat pitches Pete breadsticks without stopping;
Pete pilches Phil's bacon bits and cheese and throws them at Pippa
Big brother Phil picks off Pippa's pepperoni topping.
Pampered Pippa pouts and pipes up, "I'm gonna tell papa..."
prompting an expected chant - "Papa's pet's a party pooper."
Post haste, Papa returns passing out in a stupor.
November 3, 2016
Written by
Fritz Purdum
Categories:
children, dad, food, funny, silly,
Another Bowl of Spaghetti
Our taste buds have gone sad
It is the fault of Dad
Since Mom's been gone
He's feeding us all wrong
Now it's not that we are upset
It's just that we object
For three meals a day
Another bowl of spaghetti
At first we were pleased
We had plenty of cheese
But Mom were about to flip
Come back from your business trip
Dad's heart is right
He thinks his spaghetti a delight
But even chef Boyardee
Had some variety
No use to complain
Every meal is the same
Three times a day
Another bowl of spaghetti
Written by
Paula Goldsmith
Categories:
dad, dog, food, fun, humor, together, uplifting,
Whats Cooking On the Grill
Fire up the grill ~ let's all eat
Dad's steak now well done
Hot dogs for doggy and me
Granny potatoes
Mom veggies with salt
Say blessing
Eat
Date Written:5/31/2022
4 Place
Whats Cooking on the Grill this Summer Contest
Sponsored by: M. L. Kiser
Written by
Elton Camp
Categories:
funny,
When Dad Is a Biology Major
When Dad is a Biology Major
By Elton Camp
I liked to give an answer complete
With specific details to be replete
Child’s, “What are girls made of?”
Brought information too far above
C, H, N, O and not too many more
The explanation proved to be a bore
Nitrogenous bases purine & pyrimidine
Are found in the DNA molecule I mean
Adenine, guanine, thymine, cytosine
With P and deoxyribose sugar are seen
In this wonderful helix they all lie
“Daughter, you can see it if you try.”
My answer was far too complex
About replication, gametes and sex
Since all she was really asking to hear
Was repeat of a nursery rhyme, I fear