Humorous and funny Coffee poems and/or funny poems about Coffee. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Coffee funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Coffee Poems.
Poem Details | by
Michael Wise |
Categories:
fun, humor, humorous, tribute,
O, black and potent beverage
each morning that I rise
you give me greater leverage
you make me strong and wise
O, elixir of higher thought
rejuvenate my mind
I percolate you in my pot
through dark beans that I grind
With sugar some would sweeten you
and lighten you with cream
but black and strong will be my brew
like women in my dreams
O, steaming dark deliciousness
please keep me wide awake
and bring me higher consciousness
upon my coffee break
© Mike Wise
3/23/14
Poem Details | by
John Lawless |
Categories:
humor, word play, words,
Feeding the nestlings she came up an inch-worm too short.
Soggy ink-stained signs muttered in the rain.
The old cat caught the scent of a mouse.
A cat has nine lives, a frog croaks every night, but a rumor lives forever.
Freshly crushed coffee beans mellowed in the mist of sunrise.
The silence was shattered by the roar of a mosquito.
His voice was lost in the echoes of his anger.
The snake moved slowly over the hot stone massage.
The naked truth need not be covered up.
Poem Details | by
Amy Swanson |
Categories:
food, funny
caffeine
machine
Poem Details | by
Linda-Marie Sweetheart |
Categories:
funny,
"Coffee House"
a savory swig energizes bones
one swallow electrifies tasting cones
an instant caffeine rush
causes blah cheeks to pink blush
pure Pepsi creates haunting moans.
a tingling sensation provides power
charging battery for 24 hours
but "diet" won't do
the "hard stuff's" my brew
Pepsi fragrance as potent as flowers.
one day when Life's journey is done
and "the other side's" calling for fun
no Coke, Dew, or "7"
as I step into Heaven
hoping Pepsi is their "Number One".
*For Craig's Funny Poem Contest
Poem Details | by
Alex Frankel |
Categories:
humor, humorous, silly,
In the coffee shop
A mistimed twist
By the barista
Caused a hissing
Coffee jet to
Ballista towards
My sister and I
Worried it would
Hit her wrist and
Give her a blister,
But fortunately
It missed her.
The manager scolded
The ham-fisted barista,
But since no-one was scalded,
He didn’t dismiss her.
Poem Details | by
Nola Perez |
Categories:
humorous,
Write a poem…
1.
I'm not without passion,
I keep it controlled.
To temper the action,
that's my role.
Not to say I am passive,
don't care to relate.
If I need to elevate,
the key I keep
is to where flame
burns deep.
2.
Summer is ending.
Where did it go,
maybe the cicadas know,
singing their lives out
with a corporate shout.
Where did it go,
to make room for snow?
We have none here.
Less reason to fear
the end is near.
Poem Details | by
Rudolph Rinaldi |
Categories:
care, funny, funny love, good morning, good night, goodbye,
The oversized
Plastic coffee cup
with the plastic lid
says
Caution!
I am hot and wet
Handle me with care
Do not microwave
Poem Details | by
David Savage |
Categories:
funny, on work and working, time, uplifting, work
All was going well until she asked for a drink
Then my stomach started to sink
She ask “do you have coffee?”
“no it’s OCD”
Stood up, turned 80 degrees
Counted my steps, ones and threes
Get the scales and measure the grains
In nerves, must not make any stains
Add the milk, not too much
Now the sugar, just a light touch
Click the kettle, watch my watch
If she was Irish, I could always add scotch
Click! Pour the water
63 mm size always matters
A quick stir, a wee bit slower
Too high make it lower
Turn clockwise, go for the door
Marching like in the marine corps
There she is lying in a heap
I was hours, she’s fast asleep
Poem Details | by
Daver Austin |
Categories:
humor,
JUST COFFEE
morning coffee
that wonderful aroma
piping hot
the first sip shakes you awake
the second resignation
she finally agreed
but just to a cup of coffee
no romance just conversation
just two looking at each other
the coffee better be good
she said
she just wanted some time to think
i spilled my coffee
just a small stain
too large to wash out
At Starbucks
“anything else?”
she wants to know
always the same
she’s pretty in a way
but that expression would moldy my cookie
Dave Austin
Poem Details | by
Christopher Bunton |
Categories:
funny,
I am the greatest coffee drinker.
The best wide awake thinker.
I drink my java,
hotter than lava,
always black. I never tinker.
My Joe does not flow from a mug,
cause I down it from a gallon jug.
My coffee is the strongest,
and my buzz lasts the longest.
I hate to move slow, like a slug.
Christopher Bunton
Feb. 7, 2012
For the ridiculous self exaggeration contest
Poem Details | by
Jotting Thoughtssite |
Categories:
funny love,
Today I went out
The instant I first saw him
So caffeinated..
Poem Details | by
Andrew Crisci |
Categories:
food, funny, health, on writing and words,
Coffee's my lot,
a big pot calms
a nut like me!
Is it the drink
that my sink hates?
Stains stick like paint!
I write and drink,
when the ink stops...
thoughts shrink and fade!
Poem Details | by
Kitty Lou |
Categories:
funny,
A man came into the coffee shop
He sat there all alone
Ordered just a cup of joe
He had no telephone
He seemed content and even nice
But had not one electronic device
No computer or Laptop or even a book
I think he might be some sort of crook
Clearly he’s creepy or maybe a rat
Because after all, who does that?
Poem Details | by
Malcolm Carr |
Categories:
funny
I'm sorry I don't like coffee
It's just not my cup of tea
Poem Details | by
Jackie Chou |
Categories:
humorous,
like a night fairy
you invaded
my side of the room
stealing my coffee
hot handed
like the money
with which it was procured
selling poetry
composed with heart
and sore fingers
holding ballpoint pen
put together
the old fashioned way
carrying the books
everywhere I go
asking anyone interested
to buy a copy
now thanks to you
I have to purchase more
of this daily necessity
with what is left
in my wallet
Poem Details | by
Robbie Mcclellan |
Categories:
crazy, giggle, hilarious, humorous, life, september, silly,
I decided to clean the kitchen counter today but almost got knocked out after hitting myself in the head with the coffee maker. It was stuck to the counter from some spilled coffee and after pulling gently a few times I finally gave it one big yank and it let loose. Now I’m seeing stars and have 'Mr. Coffee' spelled backwards on my forehead ???? #EEFFOCRM
Poem Details | by
Tanya Harrington |
Categories:
funny,
Served hot or cold,
whatever you like.
There's something about it
that makes you feel alright.
It'll perk you up,
if your feelin' low,
It's easy at hand
wherever you go.
The aroma draws you
from the depths of sleep,
And takes you places
where only angels leap.
When you take a sip
of that worldly flavor,
Enjoy the moment,
relish the savor.
You can take it black
or dress it up.
Drink it by the gallon
or sup it by the cup.
When you get that feelin'
that you feel alive
Your thoughts starts reelin'
then you're speakin' jive!
Coffee Jive!
Poem Details | by
Lord R. E. Taylor |
Categories:
fun, funny, parody,
A Loving Cup Of Coffee
By R.e. Taylor
Seriously, I know you
I know you better than you know yourself
You dream about me every night
And I can wake you anytime I wish
All I have to do is just sit back and wait
You do not have any way to get away
You didn’t when you brought me into your life
And you don’t have a choice now
Just look at you shaking and craving me
But know that I will not tease you forever
I am brown, hot and creamy
Just the way you like me
The way you have always liked me
I will always satisfy you
All you have to do is ask
© 2017 Shadowlight Publishing
Poem Details | by
Sonia Walker |
Categories:
humor,
Coffee in the morning
with my bagel and cream cheese
is a daily routine which is sure to please,
it not only wakes me up bright and cheery,
but makes me fun and not too dreary
as I pretend I am on a t.v. commercial,
drinking a cup of coffee not too controversial
wearing my plaid flannel pajamas with bunny slippers,
getting up from my easy chair and hopping with my trippers
to the kitchen counter pouring more delectable brew,
call me Mrs. Folger the expert drinker who knew
how to imbibe the coffee with grace and not stop
until the cameras caught her slurping as a slop,
her days were over as the coffee diva,
she retired at a coffee bean ranch called Viva.
Poem Details | by
Declan Molloy |
Categories:
funny,
I wish to purchase a coffee I said
confidently and with a grin
what kind of coffee would one like
said she smiling ah but then
my mind ground to a stop
not expecting an education
a simple request for a beverage
turned into an interrogation
we have mocha cappuccino
americano skinny and full fat
we provide these with chocolate
and there's sprinkles and all that
you can get one filled with
marshmallows if you'd so please
or simple have it black
and of course... we do tea's
I hope she didn't find me rude
that I upped and walked away
and bought a can of Fanta
in a shop not far away
Poem Details | by
Christy Stover |
Categories:
funny, writing,
ah, another morning
sitting down to write
just sneezed on my paper
must be a sign
I wrote something right
but wait!
I haven't written anything!
oh, come on coffee
start to work your magic
or I swear I'll fire you
and hire tea!
to be left idealess
is oh so tragic
don't make me bend
your little beans
over my authoritative knee!
I hired you to do a job
so quit being lazy, coffee!
now apologize to pen and paper
and get your butt to work for me!!!!
Poem Details | by
Fritz Purdum |
Categories:
encouraging, food, humor, introspection, wisdom,
Everything a body could need
How happy could it make you be
When nothing can make you is fulfilled
As black coffee and apple pie ending your meal
Poem Details | by
Gwendolen Song |
Categories:
childhood, funny, mum,
Since I was three my mum served me coffee
I was her first child so she was merely experimenting
I bounced to and fro and spoke faster than she
By the time I was four she switched me to decaffeinated tea!
Gwendolen Rix
5-20-14
Poem Details | by
Leonard Taormina |
Categories:
funny
As I walked into the coffee shop; the girl said how are you
I told her I was doing well; and ordered up some brew.
When I looked into her eyes; I saw two diamonds filled with fire
And her dark hair I saw blowing; in the winds of hot desire.
Her skin looked soft and lush; she was blessed with shapely hips
She was everything a man could want; with lips just made to kiss.
From the front she was a knockout; from the back was just as good;
And I wished that I could know her; but I doubt I ever would.
It is just another fantasy; in a world of make believe;
That’s what I have to tell myself; every time I leave.
Poem Details | by
John Lofquist |
Categories:
fantasy, feelings, humorous, imagination, introspection, perspective, world,
Every day my first cup of coffee is most enjoyed
sitting alone in a cushioned chair on my lanai
when all the thoughts and ideas with which I toyed
seemed like logical solutions to world crises, then I
wondered why no one really gave a fig.