Humorous and funny Clothes poems and/or funny poems about Clothes. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Clothes funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Clothes Poems.
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
body, clothes, humorous,
Sue’s panties gave her so much woe -
She suffered from dire ‘camel toe’
But with help from soft plastic
Her new outline’s fantastic
It’s discrete and no one would know!
4/5/18
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
body, clothes, for him, humorous,
Poor Viv got caught in his loo
(Was sporting his pink tutu)
His Mrs. was mad
Said you ‘stupid lad -
your hairy thighs still show through!
My contst pom Sponsor’d by Viv Wiggly
chckd with how many syllabls 7,7,5,5,7
10~07~16
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
body, clothes, humorous, tribute,
Olivia Newton John
A stunning sex bomb
Starred in the film Grease
Talk of ‘ those pants’ never cease!
I wonder how she managed to dance
In skin-tight shiny black satin pants
At the sight of her tush
All the blokes turned to mush
And wanted to begin a romance!
For filming she’s sewn into her clothes
How she went to the toilet who knows!
Her pants sold at an auction in June
I bet the purchaser’s over the moon!
Clerimerick Couplets (Hybrid Form) Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Mark Toney
8/28/19
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
body, clothes, humorous,
I went to the shops with my bride,
Our nakedness we didn’t hide,
We followed what folk ask -
Just wear gloves and a mask,
Both bereft, we stood there and cried!
03/22/20
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
clothes, humorous, weather,
The north wind is blowing and it’s turning cold
I’m feeling quite chilly I guess I’m getting old
I’ve finally dug out my sexy thermal vest
It’s snug and warm and covers my hairy chest
It’s silky and soft and causes no ripples
Hides my boobies and covers my nipples
Jan Allison
15th October 2014
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
clothes, humorous,
Seen wearing his wife’s silken gown
O’Keef’s soon the talk of the town
In her basque and pink bra
He looked like a p orn star
His wife gave him a dressing down
He admits’ I’m into cross dressing
And this is my way of confessing
You’re the same size as me
I wear your clothes for free -
My desires I’m no longer suppressing!
03/24/20
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
beach, body, clothes, humorous,
I espied a large woman called Evie
(She was wearing her husband’s mankini)
Though her skin was quite pale
She looked like a beached whale
It’s a pity his outfit’s so weenie
Of her figure Evie is proud
but Evie is so well endowed
‘Twas a bright a sunny day
with huge boobs on display
This outfit it drew quite a crowd
An onlooker passed her a towel
Saying cover those boobies they’re foul
Please don’t wear a mankini -
Wear a woman’s bikini
Evie blushed red and gave him a scowl
3/28/18
Poem Details | by
Caycay Jennings |
Categories:
body, boyfriend, clothes, funny, hurt, lust, men,
My eager man bought me a wee thong
which I put on to best get along
but rubbing bugging attacks
soon whacked my fore and aft crack.
My pinged pong found his dingdonged thong wrong.
... CayCay
August 7, 2019
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
body, clothes, humorous, me,
One handed, I can’t hook up my bra
My fingers cannot reach round so far
Just look at me now ...
Like a droopy old cow
They’re swinging I look so bizarre!
Don’t worry folks... hubby came to my aid and helped me dress:-)
follow up to my poem posted yestrday
www.poetrysoup.com/poem/i_took_a_tumble_-_ouch_1017159
27/4/18
Poem Details | by
Bill Baker |
Categories:
basketball, clothes, feelings, games, humor, jobs, loss,
I made the bet on who’d win the game
the Bulls looked great; my team played quite lame
dressed in clown’s clothes
with a red clown nose
the whole office will laugh without shame
Poem Details | by
Lycia Harding |
Categories:
clothes, fairy, fashion, funny, gender, humorous, identity,
I like my body when it's with your clothes.
With your skirts and with your hose.
Panties, bras and stilettos -
you must let me BORROW those!
Oooh, they're tight... I don't suppose
you've got these in open toes...?
======================
07/24/2015
Lycia Harding
For the 'Complete the Line' Contest
Line 3: ‘I like my body when it is with your..’---e.e. cummings
Poem Details | by
Cona Adams |
Categories:
angst, brother, children, clothes, family, funny, school,
(and long brown stockings)
I detest these stockings,
they're coarse, brown and ugly.
I hate the garters more;
elastic circles that cut off
circulation and fail to halt
the laddering down my skinny legs.
If only . . . I picture myself
in warm jeans and no teasing
from Tommy Rogers.
I put the garters to better use,
roll the repulsive stockings
down around my ankles.
Tommy taunts,
"Who gave you
jointed toothpicks for legs?"
I lost it.
Now, Tommy has a black eye
and my nose is in the corner.
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
clothes, humorous, , cute,
I espied him in his designer suit
Such a looker, he’s REALLY cute
This morning he waved and shot me a grin
Oh how I would love a date with him
Think I’ve managed to catch his eye
Got my heart set on a handsome guy
I knocked on his door …he was wearing a dress
I just stood there gawking I must confess!
Just who is my neighbour - I’m not so sure
But any dream of romance was premature!
Contest Who is my Neighbour
Sponsor Mystic Rose
09~03~15
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
body, clothes, humorous, wind,
Poor Pauline was caught unawares when she was in a rush
She ripped the seam of her jeans exposing her enormous tush
People started smiling when she had passed their way
For her tiny G-string panties were clearly on display!
She could feel a cooling breeze around her nether region
Thank goodness it was summer and not the winter season!
Jan Allison
24th April 2016
Poem Details | by
Viv Wigley |
Categories:
clothes, humor,
ouch cuts
my nuts
Viv Wigley, July 7th
For contest 'One footle' sponsored by Judy Konos
Poem Details | by
Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories:
clothes, humorous,
My good friend Cletus looked mighty spiffy in his new attire.
New suit, shoes, shirt and tie - he was ready to set the world afire
He asked me what I thought about his new duds but I hadn't the heart to say,
That I had donated his entire ensemble to Goodwill just the other day!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
clothes, humorous,
Victoria’s got a secret -
But she’s told me I can share
She’ll get his temperature rising
With her sexy underwear
Girls you can’t go wrong
With a silky little thong
A negligee or a nightie
So sheer it sure is flighty
Wear her panties and bras
You can dress like the stars
05~25~15
Jan Allison
Contest:- Sing a Jingle - Lyric Man
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
body, clothes, humorous,
We are ALWAYS taught to tell the truth
But SOMETIMES there are exceptions to this rule
If your wife says ...
Does my bum look big in this ....
NEVER say yes dear !!!!
N/A in original contest
Submitted to Second chance poetry contest sponsored by Broken Wings
02~11~16
Poem Details | by
Sunlite Wanter |
Categories:
humor,
I like clothes
Someone makes them
Another places them on a rack,
No buttons to push,
You can even take them back.
No dot coms to remember,
Or passwords to crack.
I like clothes.
I like clothes
They may hang on you like a sack,
But you can depend on basic black,
Don’t have to spend hours with a geek,
When all you want is a human to speak.
I like clothes.
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
clothes, humorous,
A young broad was bored in Manhattan
So got dressed in outrageous fashion
She looked so out of place
Wearing satin and lace
When a cop shocked her with his baton
The cop was amazed by her attire
Many men were filled with desire
She was such an arresting sight
That much to her delight
He took her home to warm up by the fire
6th December 2015
Poem Details | by
Barbara Gorelick |
Categories:
clothes, humor,
Old Paddy went to the pub dressed in green
The oddest sight the boys had ever seen
He wore thigh high hose
All covered in bows
Of cross dressing he was crowned this year's queen
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
clothes, humorous, mother daughter,
Val’s daughter was picking her nose
Then wiping snot on Val’s new clothes
When Val finds sticky mess
Of green slime on her dress
The distress in her quickly rose
Green bogeys all over her sleeve
So slimy they make poor Val heave
To resolve this issue
Hands daughter a tissue
But bogeys on dress will not leave!
Val’s outfit that once was pristine
Is covered with snot of bright green
To compound Val’s distress
She cannot wash this dress
Dry cleaning should get her dress clean!
each stanza 8,8,6,6,8 checked with how many syllables
3/14/19
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
clothes, humorous, work,
There once was a brewer named Darryl
Who when working wore such odd apparel
He’d remove all his clothes
Saying ‘I don’t need those’
And prance naked all day in a barrel
Jan Allison
10th April 2016
Poem Details | by
Duke Beaufort |
Categories:
clothes, humor,
Felines have a versatile paw
That unfolds a razor like claw
An apron has strings
That cats see as playthings
While scratching chef's butt 'til it's raw
Author's Note: This story was related to me by an attractive and shapely associate who claims she sometimes works in her kitchen dressed only in her bra and an apron.
Poem Details | by
Martin Kloess |
Categories:
clothes, humor, mystery, sexy, silly, words,
He dreamed of her without her clothes
Her panties and bra let’s lose those
With her high heels gone
Let’s not dwell upon
Why he had them on heaven knows