Humorous and funny City poems and/or funny poems about City. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious City funny poems!
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
city, humor, relationship,
Everything is for the Good
‘Tis a pity I live in the city
and you in a faraway wood
And yet, everything is for the good
~ You’ve never found me witty
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
city, humorous,
Bored In Manhattan Not For Contest
I was bored in Manhattan that day
So decided to pay for a lay
He was handsome and young
And was VERY well hung
I walked like John Wayne all of the day
Thanks to James Fraser's Bored In Manhattan poem for the inspiration!
Just make me laugh contest
Sponsored by Christine Lehman
27th December 2015
Written by
Jimmi Canada
Categories:
baptism, beauty, city, eve, first love, funny
Roll On
Lauren Hill slow songs thrill,
they pop like a fast moving pill,
I am flopped on top of a junk food bill,
and running with a skunk who tells me to take in my fill-
like leading um' on into my dream,
I create a festering lean,
I rank every thought in order of how I like it,
and prep for a long time that's gonna break all the cycles.
Striding with my shrine,
as I shock a spine,
revitalize and prime-
as I preen and primp and chimp-
as I act like a pimp,
I black out and gimp,
skimp out on my dying moment because death is no shrimp!
Written by
Warner Baxter
Categories:
city, funny, girl, hilarious, paris, silly
A Girl From France
THERE ONCE WAS A GIRL FROM FRANCE
WHO DANCED ON STAGE WITH NO PANTS
SHE SHOWED OFF HER TUSH
BUT NEVER HER BUSH
SHE LEFT THE CROWD IN A TRANCE
Written by
Warner Baxter
Categories:
city, funny, humorous, nonsense, silly, travel
A Man From Rome
There once was a man from Rome
who's head was shinny like chrome
gave the world spiritual hope
was given the title of Pope
now he wears a hat like that of a gnome
Written by
Warner Baxter
Categories:
city, crazy, funny, hilarious, silly, travel
European Vacation
There once was a man from Rome
who's head was shinny like chrome
gave the world spiritual hope
was given the title of Pope
now he wears a hat like that of a gnome
~*~
There once was a girl that lived in Brussels
who married a man, now they're the Russell's
she was kind of a geek
he was more than weak
she with no brains him without muscles
~*~
There once was a girl from France
who danced on stage with no pants
she showed off her tush
but never her bush
she left the crowd in a trance
~*~
Written by
Polly Poet
Categories:
city, funny, travel, world,
There Once Was a City Called Havana
Havana's a great place to come,
The jazz gives you something to hum,
Drive an old vintage car,
Or smoke a cigar,
But don't get too drunk on the rum!
View more here > https://cubaholidays.co.uk/blogs/posts/119169/around-the-world-in-limericks
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
crazy, funny, giggle, humor, humorous, sea
city swimmer
city swimmer yesterday
screamed a fish was in the way
lifeguards who had heard the shout
quickly tried to pull her out
and my goldfish from the bay.
Written by
Randy Steele
Categories:
city, funny, work,
Shaky Heights
A foreman for the city does reap
Lots of overtime and a city heap
The streets covered with snow
My heap’s heater says “no”
I just long for that thing they call sleep
Randy Steele
Horrible Boss (and more) contest
Written by
Corinne Curcio
Categories:
funny, nature
City Sounds
Gritty city sounds
Nature’s sweet music abounds
So come on guys- lend an ear
Plump pigeons cooing
Fire escape a-wooing
The notes of amour ring clear
What’s that? A “Squeak! Squeak!”
Poor mouse has begun to speak
Stuck to one of my glue traps
Surly gulls squawking
Their raucous way of talking
While dining on pizza scraps
Screeching love defines
Some caterwauling felines
With clamorous, catty glee
Such melodies soar
Though some of you may abhor
My tenement symphony
For The Sounds of Nature contest
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
city, funny, humor, humorous, places, sky
aspiring parrot
once a parrot named kevin
wanted to fly to heaven
so he flew and flew
but when out of view
was forced to land in akron.
Written by
Darius Garcia
Categories:
humorous, romantic,
This Girl From Mexico City
i met a sweet girl from mexico city
if she don't like me, oh well what a pitty
i'll just roll my face on the grass
oh boy did i fell for her ***
man, why can't i write something witty?
Written by
Jimmi Canada
Categories:
angst, anniversary, city, fish, giggle, sad love
Boobs
Booze doggy,
booze...
Snooze sloggy groove,
Cruz... cruz-
joggy,
news,
so true,
exactly what I do.
Ignite it!
Write the flame,
understand litany's shame,
do one do others,
because of my brothers,
who said who'd who?
Calculated the hairy groove...
I seemed to choose,
I seemed to have become new-
but this towns very coldness shows me shoes.
I'm going home now,
to vote for more proof,
an even-ness or eventual eagerness.
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
city, crazy, discrimination, giggle, paris, social
Wee Paris
In Paris
now you can pee
or wee
all while you sight-see
ah Paris
environmentally pee free
feminists however
must store their pee
only in private
can they set their wee free
Written by
Alan Draeger
Categories:
funny, humor, nonsense, silly,
Limerick City 1
A music conductor in Manhattan
Had always kept his hat on.
One day he forgot
And believe it or not
He also sat on his baton
Written by
Sara Kendrick
Categories:
funny,
The City Mouse
The city mouse hitched a bumpy ride
In a demolition dumpster
To the spacious country side
When he landed on the
Ground, he ran so fast
Without a sound~
Quiet mouse
Loved the
Ride
Written by
Donald Reith
Categories:
funny, political, satire, social,
Shining City On a Hill
Republicans keep talking about a Shining City on a Hill,
Problem is to get in you need a Million Dollar bill,
They kicked out all the Middle Class and Poor people from the area, and relocated them to a Landfill,
While everybody,s starving, they up there cooking filet-mignon on the grill,
wondering what all the fuss is about a little old BP oil spill,
Excuse me for not enjoying the sight of their Metropolis glowing in the Night!,
I,m locked out the gate,
Struggling to survive daily, seems my fate,
and to top it all off, They do not care of my plight
and it,s my taxes
that,s paying for all that Goddamned Light!!!!
Written by
Judy Bonin
Categories:
addiction, adventure, girl, humorous,
Bright Lights, Big City
I wawnt ta tel yu sthomthin bowt mee
I has a lithsp an sthomtime I git teesthed
kant sthpel vary goood, thisth ith my phlaw
Sthcool isth fer dumys sesth mye paw
I dosth da lawndrey an da chors
Paw sthays dats justh wat ime phor
Butt I ghot biger planths dan dat
I no paw isth a lyin rat
I sthaved mee dayng neer tin buksths
Awff ta vegasths, wisth mee luk!
Written by
Anna Hopper
Categories:
city, culture, desire, environment, funny,
City Girl At Heart
Anointed country with a city crush
Tall buildings make me blush
Up to my ears in Georgia peaches
Urban desire boldly breaches
A chiseled orifice that I wear
The country folk tend to stare
Wheat straw, in between their teeth
Around their neck, a red wreath
Bare feet on thick red clay
Rooster cries at the sight of day
Birds chirp a George Strait song
I rap with Sisqo about a thong
No one seems to comprehend
The time in daydream that I spend
Wishing I could click my heels
And awake in a high rise, the city's gills
Despite my efforts, I reside south
Just beneath Atlanta's mouth
Lips of lights, beauty glows
Air tight, forever closed
Written by
Larry Belt
Categories:
funny, city, muse,
The Great Muse Ruse
Deep within the city of muse
A rebellion is taking place
The pain and loss is evident
On every poet's face
A trial of sorts has just begun
To find the muse of guilt
The city itself has been torn down
The city the muse has built
The words themselves are walking around
Void of inspiration
Thinking it has to be a big mistake
There's gotta be an explanation
The muse has banned together
Demanding to know the truth
A muse is charged with plagiarism
But the courts can't find the proof
Well I just made this story up
In case your still in shock
I just needed a way to explain
Away my writer's block
Written by
Andrew Carnegie
Categories:
business, city, community, humor, humorous, journey
Weekend Commuting
Weekend Commute
I dissolved into grey crowds
Flooding Londons underground,
Loosing my identity in the flow,
Swimming with currents,
Counter cultural, guttural,
Warmed by the sight,
Of many travellers,
Taking their luggage,
For constitutional walks.
@Andrew Carnegie, Post Paddington, 7th Jan 2017
If you would like to know a bit about me and my poetry please click this link below:
https://youtu.be/Ic_V7aX4xbk
Written by
Emile Pinet
Categories:
10th grade, 11th grade, 9th grade, bird, city, humorous
Pigeons
Pompous city dwellers,
pretentious rock doves now
parade around like a
popinjay or fancy
peacock, and yet, they're not
persnickety poopers:
pooping on everything.
Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
funny, day, friend, , cute,
A Hayseed In the City
A hayseed from the country, he had come
with money in his pocket just to know
the city life; he heard the steady hum
of people everywhere and traffic’s flow.
The day had been quite hot, as they can be
on dog days of the summers in New York.
His friend had said, “Find neon lights!” so he
walked until night time, feeling like a dork.
Where lights flashed, females dressed so scantily.
The young man was approached by one cute girl
who whispered, “For a good time, come with me.”
His eyes popped out; his mind was in a whirl!
The hot day soon became a hotter night.
Good gosh! he thought. . . my friend sure told me right!
For Deb's Contest: "Hot Time, Summer in the City"
Written by
Karen Cleaver-Bascombe
Categories:
how i feel, humorous, urban,
Train To White City
Slouching on the evening train
Ravelling through old anxieties,
It better than eye contact with robots
Haplessly Shuffling on and off
The deepest and fondest memories appear
Through the thorny ripples of mind
Speeding down memory lane
First memory, first bike, first bruise
First Day of school, no front teeth
Fast forward to first date,
Sloppiness of that first awkward kiss
First love pangs of distress
Until at last your realize
You passed your flaming stop.
Written by
Michelle Pryor
Categories:
faithcity, funny,
City of No Concern
MAKE A FUNNY FACE LIKE LIFE IS A SHOW
COVER UP REALITY WITH A RED NOSE AND FUNNY HAIR
NEVER FROWN BECAUSE THE SMALLEST THINGS BRING ON BIG SMILES
WHEN PROBLEMS COME ABOUT SWEEP THEM DOWN THE ROAD OF NO RETURN
TO THE CITY OF NO CONCERN
DANCE TO YOUR OWN BEAT AND DARE TO BE DIFFERENT
DONT PAY ATTENTION TO THOSE WHO LAUGH FOR THEY ARE
UNINTELLIGENT
JUS PUSH THEM DOWN THE ROAD TO THE CITY OF NO CONCERN
WHILE THEY FIND WHO THEY ARE
U NEVER FORGET TO BE YOU!