Humorous and funny Church poems and/or funny poems about Church. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Church funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Church Poems.
Poem Details | by
Brenda Mcgrath |
Categories:
funny, god, love, religious,
Some attend church to be seen, and wear their new clothes,
While others sit on their pew and silently doze.
During the service a few will check their cell phone,
With messages they just can’t seem to postpone.
Some men darken the church door out of fear,
Because if they don’t their spouse won’t let them near.
There are those that go to church because it is fun,
They like to see their friends, and talk to everyone.
Music lovers go to church because they love to sing,
And others wait for the sermon the preacher will bring.
Whatever your reason, God is watching from above.
He knows your true heart, and is full of love.
Poem Details | by
Charles Henderson |
Categories:
funny
yank yank
clank clank
© Apr 05 2010
Poem Details | by
Brenda Mcgrath |
Categories:
community, food, friendship, fun, humorous, religious,
Church suppers in town are such fun,
And the genuine home cooking is second to none.
One man said to the server, “They ran out of my favorite pie!”
“Take it out of the tip,” was her hurried reply.
With a wink and a smile she picked him a different slice.
Then he left thinking, “Oh these church ladies are just so nice!”
Poem Details | by
Rico Leffanta |
Categories:
funny, lust,
The Church ladies love tongue-tied vicars
Adept at removing their knickers
For many have found
That whetting the mound
Just beats the Hell out of bootlickers
Poem Details | by
Jan Oskar Hansen |
Categories:
funny, history, peace, social,
Church Bells
Once I lived in a charming English village, near
an ancient church, every Sunday morning
on my only day off, the bloody bells chimed.
Thought I saw a woman cycling to mass in
the mist, and it wasn´t Germaine Greer.
When Muslims ruled Andalusia, they tolerated
Christians, but a poet of that time -Ibn Baqi-
circa 1059 1112, wished they wouldn´t clang
bells so hard waking him up when air was cool,
sleep sweet and his Christian mistress had to
get up and go to mass. So far nothing has
changed, dear Ibn Baqi, the bells keep on tolling
Poem Details | by
Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories:
humorous, religion,
Most folks attend church to worship and praise the Lord as a general rule,
But this is not necessarily the case for God-fearing Deacon Cletus O'Toole.
He religiously goes to church every Sunday to take a nap (such is his nerve!),
And partake of potluck suppers and to quaff the coffee and donuts they serve!
Poem Details | by
James Horn |
Categories:
humorous,
Church Poetry Club Start
Sometimes priest doodles
Bring paper by the oodles
Have flipped our noodles.
Pie apple strudel
Has become so beautiful
And ate belly full.
When we do relish
Should we also embellish
Whatever we wish.
Better poems will write
Church prays every day and night
With all of their might.
Really have a heart
Horn a poetry club start
Idea not smart.
(May tare church apart)
(Off Horn we should cart)
(And Simpson was Bart)
(Poem is poison dart)
(Removed poems from Mart)
(Poems are rather tart)
But
(While wearing a wart)
James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
Poem Details | by
Alex Klugman |
Categories:
funny,
On the wall of a church, there is a poster with advice:-
"Confess to the priest - if you are afraid of Hell.
If you have not sinned yet, for a reasonable price,
I can help you. Call me. I'll meet you in the hotel."
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
humorous,
They wore their Kentucky Derby headdress hats into the church.
The minister knew that no one would be seeing him that day.
He liked conducting a sermon the weekend of the Derby.
He did not have to comb his hair or brush his teeth.
Wise people sequestered behind the hats stopped struggling to see.
Resigning themselves to the fact that it was a hopeless quest.
Aha! They all saw the disheveled reverend on their way out.
Commenting later at Sunday dinner that his hair stuck straight up.
Poem Details | by
James Horn |
Categories:
humorous,
Learch In Church
I like leaching, leaping and larking
Set your light on fire that now is sparking
Not embark but find canoe made of birch
Learn how to paddle lazy self to church.
Sound familiar?
Jim Horn
Poem Details | by
Rico Leffanta |
Categories:
humor,
The church social started at three
With our vicar pouring the tea
The Holy Ghost
Will be our host
As soon as Sponge Bob lets him be
Poem Details | by
Rico Leffanta |
Categories:
humor,
The wife recited The Golden Rule
As she dashed into her yoga school
Each move is complex
Regardless of sex
But the vicar just swallowed his tool.