Humorous and funny Burlesque poems and/or funny poems about Burlesque. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Burlesque funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Burlesque Poems.
Poem Details | by
Kim Radcliff |
Categories:
funny,
Poop is a smelly thing
poop is far from clean
when I poop, I poop on the pot
when I poop, I poop a lot
It's big and brown and looks like gravy
gosh it feels like I just had a baby
It's runny and smooshy , and really gross
In my family, mine smells the most.
I think I'm finished
I think I'm done
oh my goodness
it's beginning to run
oh no, this won't be fun.
Wipe and flush, I'm on the run
to play outside in the sun.
But in the yard, hiding low
I think my dog had to go
dog poo on the ground
dog poo all around
dog poo is smelly too
dog poo is on my shoe.
Poem Details | by
Xavier Keough |
Categories:
funny, introspection, nature,
Satan in my bowels
All I can say is 'ow'
Cringing and churning
My biscuits are burning
I’m praying for relief
Some sort of lanolin leaf
Wondering why I wasn’t born
Before the devil had horns
Squatting in the bush
Mourning my tortured tush
Asking when trees portend
Charmin is our friend
So if you hear me cry
Shouting Jalapenos must die
Remember that camping is fun
Except when nature’s on the run
Poem Details | by
Laura Mckenzie |
Categories:
funny
Who says I’m getting old?
My hairs are not gray
Its beautiful sterling silver
The finest silver around
Who says I’m getting old?
My face isn’t bright red
I’m not having hot flashes
I just have constant sunburn
I love the outdoor
Who say’s I’m getting old?
Not me I’m as young as I feel
Tennis anyone?
Poem Details | by
Xavier Keough |
Categories:
father, funny, introspection, life, time,
I’m a man
In case you couldn’t see
I don’t use the word “poopie”
And I’m addicted to TV
I’m a man
Who doesn't have time to bleed
But who still has compassion
For blind, busty women in need
I’m a man
Who isn’t defined by “it”
Though affectionate enough
To scratch a public itch
I’m a man
Driven by real adventure
Falling asleep on the sofa
Still wearing my dentures
I’m a man
A wild stud in full bloom
Waiting in the Jacuzzi
Picking my Fruit of the Loom
I’m a man
Who hates to be mean
Crying in the bathroom
When it’s time to clean
I’m a man
Nothing more or less
A mountain of masculinity
Who never ceases to impress
Poem Details | by
Tom Bell |
Categories:
adventure, funny, mystery, parody, science fiction,
they're here!
the saucers I've waited for...
It's hard to believe...
we've waited so long!
with a sense of wonder,
and a sense of joy...
at their arrival....
oh boy!...oh boy!...
yes, this seems to be
a red-letter day..
I'm left with only...
one more thing to say...
when, just when,
will we wait,
till kittens turn to pups,?
do you think I might expect...
to get the matching cups!...
.
Poem Details | by
Tom Bell |
Categories:
funny, happiness, health, life, philosophy, satire,
Don't sweat the small stuff, they say...
I see it, a different way....
Small problems easily become big,
Make you pull your hair out,
So you gotta' wear a wig!
Poem Details | by
Tom Bell |
Categories:
education, funny, school,
yeah, and i came out the same way....
Poem Details | by
Laura Meese |
Categories:
confusion, funny, imagination, on work and working, teen,
Simple Mathematics, really.
To eliminate one component
To solve a problem quickly.
I’ll form the problem into a manageable state,
By easily eliminating an unwanted variable.
Now, just what variable to eliminate?
First, I will multiply the X by two.
That’s the first step. Done, I feel fine.
I will multiply the Y too.
Now, I add my X plus X.
My Y plus Y.
That was to make sure it checks.
Now here’s the predicament (easy my shoe!)
This is my problem,
And a real head-scratcher too!
The equation adds up nicely
And the X and Y are simplified.
But, how do I eliminate my algebra homework
Precisely?
Poem Details | by
Tom Bell |
Categories:
confusion, food, funny, parody,
Fly in the ointment,
I've heard said,
Flies will use you for
food, when you're dead
But a fly in the soup?
Which one of you??
How'd you get in somehow?
What did you do?
These rhetorical questions,
do not require answer,
But one thing does, for sure....
Just how did a zipper get in
my chicken noodle?
This question I do implore
My lips are torn,
my faith in Campbell's shot,
this is one thing,
to predict, I had a chance not
Poem Details | by
Tom Bell |
Categories:
funny, on writing and words, parody,
Mary had a little lamb,
The doctor passed out.
Poem Details | by
Tom Bell |
Categories:
funny, on writing and words, parody,
Rub A Dub Dub Dub
A gay ***** flick filmed in a tub.
Poem Details | by
Jslambert Mister Roboto |
Categories:
caregiving, childhood, confusion, family, father, children, funny, happiness, holiday, husband, imagination, life, mother, natural disasters, nature, parody, people, places, satire, social, son, teen, wife
***NOTE~TO BE READ WITH A RIDICULOUS "SILKY SOUTHERN DRAWL" (have fun:)***
"Storm over yet...?"
"Well hay'ell ye'ah!
woo-hoo!
sum'body git me a da'gumm cole beer.
whadda'bou that boy th'er?
sum'body git him'a cole beer too!"
"Diddy! that boy ain't nothin' but 8 years old!"
"Wha'choo sayin?
wha'th'a?
na'I don't give a jolly'durn, if he ain't nuttin but 8 year'owed!
shoot!
'dat boy dun' sat him thr'ew a big ol', storm!
torna'durr warnin' too!
he gonna have him'a cole burr;
on me!"
my treat!
mama, git him'a cole burr!
ro'tt now;
ya'here?
besides...
ta'days father's day!"
© 2011 ~JSLambert Esquire
Poem Details | by
Joseph Spence Sr |
Categories:
funny, history, imagination, nature, people, places, romanceeve,
Adam was an
acceptable accountant
And Eve a bubblingly
bright bookkeeper;
Adam loved the
First-In, First-Out
Accounting (FIFO) system,
While Eve preferred
The Last-In, First-Out
Inventory (LIFO) system;
Together they testified that
Inventoried sweet fruit
should neither
Sits and spoil
nor go to the
Garden wastebasket
Wrongfully.
Poem Details | by
Bhavna Khemlani |
Categories:
fantasy, funny, life,
The blend of colors enlightens her day when she decides to embrace them;
She loves various colors which bring alive a girl’s eyes;
Each color depicts the triumph of beauty from within that is eager to fly more than twice;
The charisma of colors vitalizes one’s surrounding being a priceless gem.
Surveying around, she picks her Jimmy Choo;
Picking up her Chanel bag she appreciates her labor of love;
Then she looks at her sister to Shoo;
She knows that materialism and spiritualism is hard work from blessing above.
Poem Details | by
Charles Mcdauel |
Categories:
funny, happiness, satire,
Home is where
you hang your hat,
and also where
your *** is sat.
Poem Details | by
Tom Bell |
Categories:
adventure, fantasy, funny, health, life, parody, satire,
I was in a hurry
To weight only forty
Had no time for a drawn
out diet
So decided I would try it
Bought a sickle
Carved off my flesh
It didn't tickle,
But the blood was fresh
Got on the scale,
With my dying breath
Couldn't read the weight
Too much blood
And it was now too late
I probably weighted but twenty
A skeleton was I
Exceeded my desired weight loss
But for this I had to die.
Poem Details | by
Joyce Johnson |
Categories:
funny
My naive picture of Burlesque
Some lovely ladies junoesque
Slapstick humor risky
Dancers rather frisky.
Mom would consider it grotesque.
For Miranda's contest
won an hm
Poem Details | by
Sidney Hall Mad Poet |
Categories:
funny
Butty girl, butty girl strip woman
Shake dem butty as fast as you can
Let me pat it and prick it then you will see
You’ll have a bun in de oven which will look just like me
Poem Details | by
Randy Curry |
Categories:
humorous,
Mornings begin with my savior
His richness every day fills my cup
On loan is his bounty and flavor
He helps this wracked body stand up.
The warmth of his substance is welcome
His essence spells relief to my eyes
Full with his sweetness I’m spared boredom
Without him this wracked body cries.
One connection with him's not sufficient
I thirst for the nectar of his soul
Without his strength I'm deficient
With his nourishment this body can stroll.
When I’m wandering without much direction
And I’m listless and moving too slow
I just look to him for more gumption-
He's another good cup of hot Joe
Poem Details | by
Paloma P |
Categories:
allegory, conflict, humorous, hyperbole, irony, metaphor, nonsense,
Evanescent parlays
of paradoxical exposure
expecting perceivable combustion,
hindsight still plays unavoidable heady games
aftermath perception lives up to mean arithmetic
Specificity of angular slants contrasting circles'
spatial commitment to conformity's configurations - -
square pegs will never fit societal a$$holes
Poem Details | by
Tom Bell |
Categories:
adventure, fantasy, funny, imagination, satire, sea,
Penn's Aunts, patch-eyed women
Cutlass carried, pistol too
You mess with Sean,
They mess with you
Give his movie a bad review,
You'll walk the plank,
That's what they'll do.
Poem Details | by
Curtis Moorman |
Categories:
funny,
THE ART OF DYING GRACEFULLY
As the family gathered around his bed
His eyes were rolled back in his head
They waited as he gasped for breath
Moments before he'd meet with death
They spoke briefly in quiet tones
Some even stifled sorrowful moans
His body shuddered, his eyelids closed
It looked as though he peacefully dozed
The pastor knelt by the bed to pray
When suddenly they heard the sick man say
I guess I put on quite a show
But I am just not ready to go
Contest - Burlesque Twist
By: Natalie Flikkema
Poem Details | by
Paloma P |
Categories:
allegory, humor, hyperbole, nonsense, universe,
deranged snapshots of reality
full-moon's analytical quagmires
conceptualizing archetypes,
creating art of duplications
venturing prickled duplicity,
slapped me bout sideways
insinuated tacklin' romance,
uncompromising twist since
you thought me a maniacal *****
took a spin on the wily horizons
landed horizontal 'tween thighs
'twas a wee prick of somethin'
naught patter of heartbeats,
whitewashed the lunacy
off my derriere & cleavage
attempting to forget the
writing on the cosmos
when it beckoned me to
your teensy universe
Poem Details | by
Tom Bell |
Categories:
angst, education, funny, urban,
It can be a little bit tough,
While skating in the buff,
In the fast lane of the freeway,
You know I need not say,
Especially to me,
When you need your skate key,
So I'd suggest you try first,
To use the service road,
or call a hearse,
A helmet may be wise,
Unless they hit you in your eyes
And please note the word freeways,
Is for the benefit of our left-coasters
Cause that word in N.Y. would daze
There ain't nothin' free in N.Y.,
Just ask any right coast dork.
Poem Details | by
Poetprentice Dupins |
Categories:
bible, creation, funny, irony, jesus, silly, work,
Work, work, work, work, work
Work, work, work, wor, wor
Wor, wor, wor, wor, wor, wo
Wo, wo, wo, wo, woe is us.
The irony of the fall of man:
Them yielding to Eden’s free and tempting fruit,
Now cursed us to labor for our fruit.
They should’ve had a hamburger.