Humorous and funny Boat poems and/or funny poems about Boat. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Boat funny poems!
Written by
Poet Destroyer A
Categories:
adventure, anti bullying, boat, humor, slavery, violence, voyage,
Pirate Bay
```Pirate Bay the Haiku```
pirates fierce and mean
drowning fish, sea to sea
parrots on their butt
```Polly Wants A Cracker```
bloodthirst & brutal
Quartermaster Gone Wild
dirty wings on deck
```Sea World Adventure```
ship crew goes on strike
sailing the Caribbean
wooden leg splashing
~*~
Written by
Michael Wise
Categories:
boat, humorous, ocean,
The Lark In the Dark
Sammy went out on a lark
sailing his boat in the dark
and while he got drunk
his little boat sunk
so his hangover went to the shark
Written by
Bartholomew Williams
Categories:
boat, fun, funny, humorous, light, sea, youth,
Seasick
A young man shipped out on the sea;
No care if ‘twas windward or lee.
But storms came along,
His stomach not strong,
Now sees ships only on TV!
Date: 7/15/18
Written by
Brittney Lopez
Categories:
absence, age, angel, april, baptism, beautiful, beauty, bible, birth, blue, boat, body, books, boyfriend, bridal shower, flower, for her, forgiveness, freedom, funny, games, garden, girlfriend, goodbye, graduation, poetry, voice, wisdom, women, words, writing, youth,
Skin
You send bolts through my skin
something I was never to
accomplish with you, when I
saw you it's like my heart sank
to my stomach and I was in
shock my body still my body
heavy felt like when I moved I
was about to fall to my knees
you make me want to get
inside my brain pick you up and
take you out pick you one by
one like a flower because I do
love you and love you not.
Written by
A.O. Taner
Categories:
betrayal, boat, change, computer, confusion, cool, crazy, cute love, emotions, fantasy, funny, funny love, heart, heartbroken, hello, irony, light, loneliness, lonely, lost love, love, love hurts, parody, relationship, river, romantic, sad love, satire, soulmate, voyage, wisdom,
Boat
I had my heart put on auto-pilot,
set to navigate towards you;
the low-battery signal just came on,
I don't know what to do.
Written by
Anisha Dutta
Categories:
boat, funny,
Limerick
Goat on Boat Contest
A goat with white coat took a boat to float.
It did not notice a hole in the boat.
Goat was so stupid.
Water entered rapid.
Boat sank down, goat swam swift with wet white coat.
12/23/15
Written by
Martin Kloess
Categories:
boat, funny, humor, sports,
Another Sailor's Tail Tale
They paddled till we reached the shore
Where I set them free to explore
Then back to the sea
This sailor did flee
They’ll not paddle me anymore
Written by
Dorian Petersen Potter
Categories:
boat, funny, humor, humorous,
Sail and Nail
(Limerick)
A fellow was pleased with a sale
Till noticed the boat was missing a sail
He was very sad
And got so mad
He hit the man who did the SALE with a NAIL!
Dorian Petersen Potter
Aka ladydp2000
Copyright@2014
September, 8, 2014
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
adventure, america, beach, boat, cheer up, fishing, humor,
sea food
once a skindiver named neal
daily would make swimmers squeal
in town from new york
he carried a fork
dining on fresh ocean krill.
Written by
Vincent Ray
Categories:
boat, humor,
A New Boat Owners First Emergency
--WARNING BUZZER SOUNDS--
A moment of much worry!
Oh...friend's phone's ring tone
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
humorous, sea,
The Pirate Who Stole My Boat
On the seas of turquoise green
A pirate ship approached
And stole my boat
All cargo was aboard
I was saddened at the loss that day
For the ship was a fine seaworthy vessel
I hope they take good care
Of both vessel and my wife
I shall miss them both
They been sailed many a year
Thank god I have insurance
For the vessel I held so dear
Thank-you
Note: No boats or wives where actually stolen, kidnapped or harmed in the making of this poem!!
Written by
Gry Christensen
Categories:
boat, desire, funny, heart, humor, ocean, sea,
The Anchor
I once loved
an anchor
one of those
that sails
on skin
one of those
that has
a rowing heart
and pelting blood
within
One of those
who blows
mussel covered
kisses
one of those
that tells
mermaids salty lies
one of those
who'll
go down with
rum and shackles
the day he finally
dies.
© Gry W Christensen
Written by
James Edward Lee Sr.
Categories:
adventure, character, conflict, courage, funny,
Three Monkeys On a Boat
Three Monkeys On a Boat
three monkeys on a boat
One had money, the others broke
The Second monkey rowed
As the third one stole
The first one said that was bold
The second one sworn
He call the cops, as soon as they get a shore
The third one fled
Jumped over board
The first one said "ooot-oot-hEY YOU CAN'T SWIM"
So the second one threw a life preserver and vest
No monkey No that's candy
So the first monkey jump into the river
And so did monkey two
Then all of a sudden monkey three got back on board
The others swam to shore
Monkey three crash and drown
Guess it doesn't pay to steal
12/14/17
written by James Edward Lee Sr.
Written by
Robert Kinard
Categories:
art, dedication, fun, happy, humor, life,
Little Man In the Boat
Ladies please take note
this is a massage for
the little man in the boat.
To whom so much of myself
I willingly devote.
I hope you understand,
the way you melt in my mouth
and not in my hand.
I am forever
your number one fan.
You spend more time
than any dentist,
looking down my throat.
And I have to admit,
I've always admired your boat.
From the first time
you taught me what to do.
We had fun like teenagers
skinny dipping in your canoe.
As I became the engine
to your motorboat,
you laugh whenever a hair
gets caught in my throat.
You say I'm doing it right
when I can't breath.
I thought it was funny
the first time I sneezed.
Written by
Sam Jameson
Categories:
boat, funny, humorous, sea,
Sail For Sale
The rain
takes the rein
to reign,
For the seas
will seize the ability
he sees to have ease,
And when waters raise
they'll raze his boat
beneath the rays
leaving him lost
for days
I say--
Then, if it stays afloat,
I can buy a new used boat;
March 18, 2016
Written by
Jerry T Curtis
Categories:
boat, humorous, nostalgia,
A 3hr Tour With 5hr Energy
For the Lady of Shallot Contest
Just sit back and hear a tale
About some folks that chose to sail
In a boat, that was so frail
Caught up in a mighty gale
Surely, not my style
Watch the ship as it gets tossed
It sure looks like, "All is lost"
If not for the courage of the crew and Boss
They never could've, made it across
Here to Gillian's Isle
Written by
Cheryl Hoffman
Categories:
boat, humor, vacation,
Viking Cruise
They read all about the Viking cruise
going for the first time they hadn't a clue
the addendum read
and actually said
no raiding allowed which means the fridge too!
9-12-17
Written by
Anisha Dutta
Categories:
funny, humorous,
Boat Ride By Goat Nursery Rhyme
BOAT RIDE BY GOAT
A goat wore white satin coat,
not calling due to sore- throat.
It hired wooden boat to float.
Depth of stream was hundred fathoms.
Water entered through hole at bottom.
Boat sank slowly what to do!
Goat swam to bank as I knew.
So! I must stop my rhyme too.
04/21/21
Third Place
'Nursery Rhyme 5 ' Contest by Eve Roper
Written by
Andrew Fairchild
Categories:
boat, cute love, funny, love, marriage, memory, miss you,
I Remember That We Rowed, You Were Afraid
I remember that we rowed.
You were afraid.
And so, I gave the oars to you,
I thought, you see – control
Would help you feel
It was your boat that moved
Beneath your unsure feet.
And then, I saw your leg, and I liked you!
You laughed, hysterical! You always laughed
When you were afraid.
I… I talked about ‘meaningful relationships’,
But you, as bold as only newness can make a person,
You wanted marriage!
You didn’t mean, with me! Although, you married me!
And now, I’d give a bucketful of suns,
To see you row, again!
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
boat, funny, humorous, ocean, sea, sick, silly,
My Rare Disorder
I have a rare disorder that causes me to see everyone in the cast of any submarine movie as Don Rickles. Every bloody person is Don Rickles. Once saw a submarine movie wherein a woman was saved from a sinking ship and the captain on the submarine made love to her and they both were Don Rickles.
Written by
James Fraser
Categories:
funny
It's Just a Boat
There once was a boat made of wood
And named after his wife as it should
But the name was so harsh
When he called it fat ****
Oh why are men so misunderstood
http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/humour-4.php
Written by
Ema Kenyon
Categories:
boat, funny, humor, humorous,
Dastardly Crumbs, March 3, 2017 Cassidy's Poetry
I can feel the seemingly invisible shards creeping along my skin, cutting me like glass.
The presence of these creatures alone swallows me whole and leaves me restless.
I promised you and myself that i wouldn’t open the doors to allow them in again,
But here we lay unsettled, in the shadows of the broken and the fragmented that were left behind.
I’m sorry that I ate saltine crackers in bed again.
Written by
Randy Steele
Categories:
animal, boat, fishing, humor, sea,
Sea Woes
I chartered a boat for sea fishing
Those waves just kept swelling and swishing
But when the boat stopped
My stomach had flopped
To be back on land I was wishing
To go swim in the sea is so sweet
Though I swim like I'm made of concrete
That white sand's so near
There's nothing to fear
Except jellyfish stinging my feet
August 4, 2019
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
boat, cheer up, hope, humorous,
Capt Smith's Immortal Words As The Titanic Sank Without A Trace
She was posh and built at enormous cost
Alas, She was fated to be star-crossed
Plunged to Her eternal grave
Capt Smith gave a final wave
And shouted, "Cheer up folks! All hope is lost!"
Written by
Krish Radhakrishna
Categories:
blue, boat, cute love, dream, first love, funny love, love,
Mystery Lover
in the green, green garden,
under the blue, blue sky,
did you throw me a rose
on the sly?
on the slow slow river,
in the wooden log boat,
did you sneak in for me
a love note?
in the loud, loud thunder,
of stormy, stormy night,
did you send me signal,
with flash light?
during hot hot coffee,
in the greek restaurant,
was it you who left a
gold pendant?
in my deep, deep slumber,
I dream and think of you,
wish you would just tell me
“I love you!”
6th place
John Lawless sponsored
Just Thinking ..... contest
Written 26/12/2020
Sapphic stanza modified to 6,6,6 3 syllables