Humorous and funny Beer poems and/or funny poems about Beer. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Beer funny poems!
Written by
Brian Anderson
Categories:
funny, introspection
Beer and Being Human
the pain of being human
can be negated
by beer
sex
and beer
in a steady supply, i might add
there is nothing worse
than waking up
out of beer
and being human
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
drink, humorous,
Samuel Adams Beer
A time capsule was uncovered in Olde Boston the other day.
'Twas found in the Statehouse cornerstone, so they say.
'Twas placed there by patriots Samuel Adams and Paul Revere.
'Mongst other things found were three jugs of Samuel Adams Beer!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved
Written by
Vince Suzadail Jr.
Categories:
funny,
Beer
A glass of milk is something I fear
Please do not pour me a glass my dear
You'll be mad as a skunk
When I'm coming home drunk
But to tell you the truth I like beer.
Written by
Roger Horsch
Categories:
fun, funny,
Why Our Beer Is Now Green
There once was a man named O'Dean
Who wasn't too bright or too keen
He sneezed at the bar
Filling everyone's jar
And, that's why our beer is now green
Written by
Ralph Taylor
Categories:
funny,
Beer Mugs
There was a young girl named, Anheuser.
Wouldn't heed, when folks would advise her!
Her and Pabst, took a chance,
had a whirlwind romance,
and now they're both, sadder, Budweiser!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
clothes, humorous, work,
Oh Beer Me
There once was a brewer named Darryl
Who when working wore such odd apparel
He’d remove all his clothes
Saying ‘I don’t need those’
And prance naked all day in a barrel
Jan Allison
10th April 2016
Written by
Gert W. Knop
Categories:
funny
No Beer But Whisky
I finally decided to have a beer
And not being risky to have a whisky
But my desire for something stronger grew higher
So I ended up drinking a whisky
Written by
Elizabeth Wesley
Categories:
funny,
Bless My Beer
When friends do stray
And days grow drear;
It's nice to know
I can sip a beer.
Oh bless my beer
To the bitter end;
That foam topped glass
Is my best friend.
When I'm feeling blue
It is always here;
On a moment’s notice
The warmth is cheer.
You've seen me through
A marriage thrice;
And although those times
Were not so nice;
I always knew
I could depend on you.
For What Turns You On - Contest
Elizabeth Wesley
Written by
Bill Lindsay
Categories:
allusion, funny,
Bread V Beer
So
every
single loaf
of bread tells
the tragic story of
grains that could have
been turned into beer,
but ultimately
failed
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
funny,
Billy Carter Beer
Billy Carter was a sluggard I hear
His kinfolk he did not always endear
He embarrassed his brother
And mortified his mother
He cared not one whit as he nursed his beer!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Written by
Robert Pettit
Categories:
funny,
Message In a Bottle-Beer-Robert
If you see a little brown bottle,
you’ll know that bottle is from me.
Floating in the vast ocean,
you will see it quite soon.
Open that bottle,
read my message.
It’s for you.
I need
beer.
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
humorous,
Beer In Supermarkets
Do you know why us guys have happy faces
Beer is for sale in supermarkets, good gracious
Here in Ontario
A bit backward I know
Even grandmas can get blotto and walk around aimless
Written by
Jessica Thompson
Categories:
drink, funny,
Beer Goggles
I was blind,
And unaware
took them home
Without a care.
Too many drinks,
the night before
Though I wish
I had some more.
All these things,
Inside my head
With a stranger
I share my bed.
If I knew then,
What I know now
I would not drink
No way, no how.
Written by
George Aul
Categories:
humorous,
Beer Goggles
I met a young lady at the bar,
"Want to test the back seat of my car?"
Then I thought I was in
when she gave me a grin...
Yikes! She had an Adam's apple scar.
For "Your Best Pick Up Line" by Judy Konos
Written by
Randy Johnson
Categories:
father, funny, humor, son,
I Want a Beer
Even though I've been helping you and working hard,
you won't give me a beer after I've mowed your yard.
I'm hot, sweaty and dying of thirst.
You've done some bad things but this is the worst.
When you asked for my help, I shouldn't have come here.
You offered me a glass of water but what I want is a beer.
You love your damn beer so much that you won't even give me one.
I would kick your *** up and down the street if you weren't my son.
I have something to say and you'd better listen to me.
Don't ever expect me to mow your yard again for free.
(This is a fictional poem)
Written by
Abe Lopez
Categories:
funny, life, love
Beer Company
Bring me one just one
Mexican senorita
My beer company.
Written by
Pedros Fernandes
Categories:
dedication, humor, humorous, metaphor, science fiction,
In the Sea Beer
Those two submarines are playing cards on their lunch break,
Suddenly a boiled egg passes and say:
-Hi five what you guys doing?
-We are playing cards
-Can I play?!
-This is only for members.
-That's OK
-I was going to the barbershop anyway,
- Ask Hydra for a Beer egg
- I have been going to AA man are you crazy!,
The egg vomits
The submarines laugh
Hydra juggles
Dedicated to Professor Adriano Moreira
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
child, family, kids, funny, hilarious, mom, mother,
Beer
If you want things
to go really well with Mom,
tell her first thing in the morning,
"I'm not going to school
until you get me a beer."
Written by
Roy Pett
Categories:
humor, poetry,
A Beer With Shakespeare
wrote poetry with William Shakespeare
while drinking pints, of strong home brew beer
I was drunk, too much ale
he wrote The winters tale
Hamlet, As you like it and king Lear
14th September 2017,
Name dropper Limerick contest,
Sponsored by Kevin Shaw.
Syllable count 9,9,6,6,9.
Written by
Romeo Naces
Categories:
funny
Blame the Beer
.
Blame it all on warm beer
at the stoplight.
The inside of my skull throbs
with the drone of tired traffic.
And windshield wipers whine
with my CD's old rock metallic.
Then, jolting my line of vision,
is a strapping, suspicious cop.
His clipboard and pen, enough
to make my sour hiccup stop.
Blame it all on warm beer
at the stoplight.
.
Written by
Robert Pettit
Categories:
funny, people,
About Bottles of Beer In the Wall
There are drunks in the parking lot of the mall.
They keep singing about bottles of beer in the wall.
No longer am I able to stand it all.
These bums don’t sound like a choir to me.
They are chanting out of tune, and a bit off key.
Nobody will ever call this stuff harmony.
At ninety-nine is where this group started.
With all of that gas, a few of them farted.
After these characters finish guzzling their beer,
they are leaving all the empty bottles around here.
With all the broken glass, we must watch where we step.
In each of their throats, may they get a big dose of Strep.
Written by
Mike Dailey
Categories:
funny, satire, social, wedding
Viagra Beer
Leave it to the Scottish as the royal wedding nears
To unveil their latest, Viagra infused beers
A beer to stir the loins of the newly wedded prince
A beer to shock the royals and make the Queen Mum wince
A beer that’s sure to give the Brits a stiffer upper lip
A beer that makes this Scotland brewer appear a bit more hip
A beer that says “Arise Prince Willy” – “Celebrate Big Willy Style”
A beer best taken “tongue-in-cheek” guaranteed to raise a smile
4/21/11
Written by
Larry Bradfield
Categories:
humor,
Pour Me a Beer
I want a table and a country song
I've been away from this for way too long
Play me some Jones and some Willie and Hank
Pour me some beer, give that handle a yank
I see my reflection from behind the bar
I'm too old for this and too old by far
Pour me a beer, give that handle a yank
Got some money from my pension to thank
I think I'll go on home and take my hoss
Just give my old waterin' hole a toss
Women ain't pretty as they used to be
Lawrence Welk's prob'ly still on the TV
11/15.2016
For Contest #238, 12 lines max
Written by
James Horn
Categories:
encouraging, humorous,
Drink Up Beer
Drink Up Beer
On target finally found a firm fix
When we ended up at Check Six
After on bearing we had bore in
Kept returning again and again.
Then we set our sights on Saturn
For repeat performance set a pattern
Continuing on we prayed and prayed
Thanked God for Check Six He had made.
If in Southport area find yourself being
Check Six is a place really worth seeing
Don't have no parking meters that expire
Where you drink up beer in its entire.
James Thomas Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
www.checksixbeer.com
Written by
Emmanuel Balele
Categories:
funny
My Favorite Beer
the happiest moments in my life
occur when i drink
sit at one of the good bars
sip on that serengeti lager
the beer i love so much!!