Funny Baseball Poems - Funny Poems for Life

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Humorous and funny Baseball poems and/or funny poems about Baseball. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Baseball funny poems!

Written by Arthur Vaso
Categories: baseball, funny, humorous,

I Am a Fat Oriole

I am a fat oriole from Baltimore
With baseball cap and baseball mitt
I became a star cause well I could really hit
Made my money, to build my nest
Never grew up, cause I was born with good luck
I am a big fat Oriole I say to you
Now I am retired
So I sit in by chair
Eating my Oreos, double stuffed flair
Oriole oriole eating my oreos
I am fat cookie, a Baltimore storio

Written by Pat Adams
Categories: baseball, food, humor, imagery, word play,

Hotdogs On the Run

With Baseball hotdogs on the run
Caught up in, excitement and fun
Watch where you go
Before you know
You might slip and fall on your bun!

Written by Smail Poems
Categories: age, angel, baseball, beauty, butterfly, caregiving, celebration, character, child, father daughter, feelings, film, fishing, flower, football, children, for her, friend, fun, funny, gender, girl, girlfriend, giving, graduation, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, growing up, growth, hair, happiness, happy, health, heart, hero,

Princesses

Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!

Written by Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories: baseball, humorous,

Batter Up

He stepped to the plate and spit on his han's.

   He spit doffing his cap to cheering fans.

      Gave his privates a scratch

         Spit another huge batch,

            Then knocked a home run clean outta the stan's! 

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2015 All Rights Reserved

Entry for Debbie Guzzi's "Batter Up" Contest

Written by Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories: baseball, humor, murder, parody, satire, song, sports,

Ode To My Barbed Wire-Wrapped Baseball Bat

Take me out to the kill people game
Turn me loose on the crowd
Give me some kidneys and backs to crack
I don't care who it is I attack
Let me bash, bash, bash as they scream loud
If they don't die it's a shame
Cuz it's one, two, three strikes you're dead
In the old kill people game.

Written by Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories: baseball, basketball, games, high school, humor, teacher, teen,

Our School Cheer

IBM
UBM
ICBM
On the floor.

Written by Mark Martin
Categories: america, baseball, funny, hilarious, humor, humorous, sports,

Baseball Haikus - a Brit's Perspective

Diamond battleground
Collector's card currency
Hero factory

Little league conscripts
Vocal parental advice
Therapist's profits

Score report passion
Batting statistics frenzy
Relive by numbers

Glossary nightmare
Commentator's lexicon
Head scratching jargon

World series warfare
Stadium armageddon
Sponsorship looting

Counterfeit rounders?
Diplomatic incident!
Sanctions on cricket!



Entry to "the national pastime" contest

Written 12th February 2017

Notes: "Rounders" is a game played in both the UK and Ireland with similar rules to baseball https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rounders

Written by Robert Heemstra
Categories: baseball, humorous, life,

Life's a Pitch

life's a knuckle ball
with so many curves and turns
watch out for that bat

Written by Rudolph Rinaldi
Categories: baseball, funny, god,

Bats

mostly
happy
ever after
hanging 
upside down from a rafter

giving my cherished name
to short splintered sticks
that hits long balls
out of sight
both day and night and

did I mention the difficulty that I have 
in going while hanging upside down
God made it so that 
I must move to move
and stand upright

Written by Vicki Acquah
Categories: baseball, humorous, parody,

Annoying Game

ANNOYING GAME

Annoying Game
Cheers
quite annoying
voices mutter
quiet chatter
huddled in confusion

Boring broadcasters
feigns excitement
children watching 
not so mellow drama

The curse preventing
Felix the cat's first act
more chatter accompanies 
horrible organ music.

Resounding cheers
Greeks speaks
plays called.
"he walks the bases "
on cleats.

Dinner is served
on T.V. trays
Uncle does not move
He sits on the throne 
commandeering black
and white screens
with rabbit ears.

I wait for the final cheers
Of the win, Yes, It’s over
or the Boo's for losers
Baseball, way to ruin
a child's summer.!

Written by Mark Goodson
Categories: father, funny, nostalgia, son, sports,

Ice-Cream Baseball

As a new father I coached my little league son
 He was clumsy and uncoordinated
 Picked dandelions in the outfield
 Watched bumble bees fly and hum
Would run to a grounder and watch it stop
pick it up to throw it but it would drop
He enjoyed his team mates for they were friends 
He struck out more than hitting the ball
Funny thing was he would always run whether he did or not
How I wanted him to hit the ball so hard 
Perhaps a grand- slam homerun for him and my heart
But the greatness was in him- he was part of the team 
 His greatest joy was afterwards
When we’d all go get ice-cream

Written by Bill Yates
Categories: baseball, humor, life,

Here I Rhyme Only Once

There is a street in town
Where porridge is drawn up,
Where loafing is a virtue
And spitting is the sport of kings.

Old London town would be so proud
Of all the knaves and fools
Who frolic all day long
Then sleep amid the ruins.

Edgar was the given name
Of one young fool
Who skipped along the padded street
One whistle to his name.

He loved the maiden Joan of Arc
Whose beauty was untrue.
Both expired the self-same day,
No penny to their names.

And me, I get along somehow
Standing on a rock,
While fishing in a muddy hole,
I never watch the clock.

Written by G. Jay
Categories: baseball, funny, memory,

Gee, What a Cloudy Memory

Oh, dear what could the matter be?       
At twice the ripen age of three   
Was standing to bat at the tee   
Though staring blankly at a tree
“Take a swing,” the coach was a she   
Agreeing, taking it firmly          
Hitting and Sending the ball free   
Then sprinting expeditiously
A slide worthy of the laundry                
“Keep running,” they all said loudly      
“What? Huh? Run?” I said breathlessly    
The other team look on eagerly 
“Oh, ya,” was the last to hit, lovely
Taking two steps, "out!" no mercy       
That's it. No more baseball for me
My last t-ball activity


February 11, 2018  Updated 5/14/2019

Written by Harold Hunt Sr
Categories: baseball, cat, funny, humorous, silly,

The First Game of Spring

The first game of spring
It was the first game of the year.
The go lumpducks vs the hot rugcats.
On 1st base for the hot rugcats is: Tiny judy mad cat
On 2nd is Flash betty furball 
At short stop is licky slip maybell 
On 3rd three leg piggy polecat
Rt field Cassy cool cat
Cfield Tiffy Mudcat
 Lt field Vicky short pants Field cat.
Pitching Wild arm Jayne legcat
Catching Junkcat Kitty
The game is cancel due to Rats on the field  the team is hard to control
A real mess the lumpducks left after the first rat was tore apart.
But that's your line up for tomorrows game.

Written by Thomas Martin
Categories: baseball, humorous,

Pickup Line For Contest

Never had the courage to say, 
"Hi Beautiful, will you go to bed with me?"
My face would probably get slapped
But as they say in baseball
many strikeouts for a Home Run.

Written by Bill Baker
Categories: baseball, boy, fun, funny, school,

Baseball At Recess

There was a player on our team we called Rick
            He hit third and was really a great stick
    When on the bases, he made strange faces
And always thought that he could steal bases
                  Another out, he was slow as a brick

Written by Jimmi Canada
Categories: baby, baseball, car, earth, endurance, for him, funny, identity, light, lust, night, storm, words,

Shrank

Would you make my phone ring?

Would desire retake the wild that perspires as the legend is written yet the time goes unnaffected?

Babe the world gets no smaller,
I am the right caller, 

no-one could say a thing 
like the lights growing in stalling words, 

we will gather for our area's that we expedite, 

and will mighty-kite none-for-less when our strife scars at the right heights, tights, and whites, even fights! 

We will always resign because more and more is what's needed, 
every time!

Written by Randy Freie
Categories: baseball, christmas, dance, giggle, holiday, tree,

Jolly Saint Nick

It was late Christmas Eve
When awakened by a noise
I was hoping it was Santa
With a hefty bag of toys

Peeking from my bedroom
Caught a vision really wild
Santa covered all in tinsel
And giggling like a child

He spun around the floor
As if nothing else to lose
Stripped down to his boxers
Wearing ballerina shoes

Still whirling like a dervish
I guess he couldn't see
After tripping on the sofa
He crashed into our tree

But still he kept on laughing
As though a great big joke
He then lit up his pipe
And blew out a cloud of smoke

There was such a pungent odor
I could tell it wasn't holly
It smelled like Maui Wowie
No wonder he's so jolly

Written by Rudolph Rinaldi
Categories: baseball, destiny, feelings, funny, humorous, life, nonsense,

Strike Three

people move on

to the promised land

is only a real estate pitch

sometimes a fast ball

sometimes a slow pitch

a spit ball, a knuckle ball, a curve

sometimes they just roll it

between your legs

Written by Connie Pachecho
Categories: baseball, humor,

Jack and Sue's Fling In Park

Jack And Sue's Fling In Park

Jack wanted to hit the ball with Sue
Though his bat was small he liked to woo
Sue liked long fly balls
Ones that hit the walls
When Jack took his swing Sue played it through

5/15/23
Funny, Bawdy or Humorous Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsor-Tania Kitchin

Written by Pat Adams
Categories: abuse, baseball, humor,

Fly Ball

Children hit a ball through their window
It crashed into their bedroom inside
Hitting his wife right between the legs
She complained to her husband wide eyed

She told him,"Go out there and get them"
"That hurt me so much it still lingers"
He said,"I will, because I'm hurt too"
"It almost broke three of my fingers!"