Humorous and funny America poems and/or funny poems about America. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious America funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other America Poems.
Poem Details | by
Arthur Vaso |
Categories:
america, anti bullying, art, discrimination, forgiveness, humanity, humorous,
Impressive
Vice presidential
Walking on lily pads
Sinking within illusions
Snow drops bloom
Wisdom is waking
Darkness fades
Light pervades
We all seek to be one
Destiny sometimes makes us number two
Quite the topic to contemplate
As I wander off to the loo
Notes
As they say a pence for your thoughts
Amazing how see end up right where they belong!
Poem Details | by
Timothy Hicks |
Categories:
america, education, england, fun, funny, homework, nonsense,
The British call it maths,
but the Americans ditch the s
causing much international scorn.
But for our sake, p'raps it'd be best
to keep subjects
only halfway grasped
in the singular form.
Poem Details | by
Arthur Vaso |
Categories:
america, art, humor, international, patriotic, peace, poetry,
The beauty of the dream
Even fools are allowed in
Misinformed and crawling on narrow stony roads
Yet in this land anything goes
We all have the right to our opinions and views
Apparently even old fools
One day soon
Guns will be taken
So that freedoms truly rule
As the clowns dance
One day
Poets shall rule
Remember this! Obama was no fool!
Poem Details | by
John Michaels |
Categories:
america, beauty, culture, humorous, political, satire, society,
Catwalks
Crowd gawks
Wont style
Forced smile
Strike pose
Fake nose
Weird strut
Flat butt
Scant curves
Unnerves
Small-hipped
Lunch skipped
Stick-thin
Chagrin
Faux tan
Pecan
Plucked brow
Used plough?
Long lash
Bleached 'tache
Plump lips
Veiled nips
Waxed mound
Astound
Forebear
Despair
Sweet girls
Morph churls
Sly pout
Grim trout
Taut thighs
All lies
Make hot
Post-shot
Airbrushed
Not hushed
Mere gaud
Defraud
Model?
Twaddle!
- - - - - - - - - -
25 November 2017
For the "Footle Form - Sequenced or Stand-Alone" contest, sponsored by Brian Strand.
Poem Details | by
Pat Adams |
Categories:
age, america, humor, husband, old,
She told the police, Please help me
My husband is missing you see
First he was there, then he was gone
And I don't know where he could be
The police seemed concerned and said,
Describe this man that's not around
If we don't have a description
We fear he may never be found
He has a patch over one eye
The one that he lost in the war
He wears a small hat on his head
That doesn't have hair anymore
He lost a finger sawing wood
And a toe when mowing the lawn
I guess he was mostly missing
before he was even gone!
Poem Details | by
Tom Cunningham |
Categories:
america, humor,
In a covered wagon he travelled west
For every ailment he had a cure
His miracle oil he claimed was the best
People he conned were the sick and the poor.
In remote towns he would set up his scam
Helped by two' friends' in the crowd for his trick
Who' volunteered' but were part of the sham
Arthur the cripple and poor sighted Mick.
But they were fed up of his trickery
And exposed him to the crowd in the town
The conman shouted" Mick what can you see"?
Mick said "nothing, I heard Arthur fall down"
Snake oilman was speechless and he went pale
The townsfolk seized him and threw him in jail.
Written on 30th December 2018
Poem Details | by
Sandison Jumbo |
Categories:
america, humor, political,
Thumping Hilary
Hillary had thought trash of Donald Trump
And prayed him, that America should dump
She spent time on the jabber
That he was a ‘Pee’ grabber
The election came; Trump gave her a thump!
July 4, 2017
Poem Details | by
Panagiota Romios |
Categories:
america, humorous,
Ah, King Biden, thou dost lie to me!
When thou blamest Putin for everything from sea to sea!
Dost my head look like it’s made of wood?
Your thieving son, Hunter’s, probably could!
Why not tell our kingdom of the three houses in Delaware you own?
Of course, on CNN, these facts....shan’t ever be shown!
It’s said you have much charm and charisma?
Did you learn such grace, in the halls of Burisma?
Your progeny’s laptop, some purport has never been found?
It drowned, one moonlit night, I heard in Puget Sound.
4-1-2022
Poem Details | by
Paula Goldsmith |
Categories:
america, baby, beautiful, blue, butterfly, funny, humorous,
Apple Appetite
ample appealing
Adam an American
artificial air
Butter best baby
beautiful blue butterflies
buying buckwheat bread
Crackers cherry crust
cinnamon cheese cereal
crispy crunchy crumbs
Date Written: 7/20/2020
Poem Details | by
Rico Leffanta |
Categories:
america, confusion, funny, history, language, spoken word, woman,
An ancestor known as, "Miss Lottie"
Was a New York socialite "hottie"
To her lasting disgrace
She slapped Paul Revere's face
When he invited her to the p-ah-ty
Poem Details | by
Vella Taliare |
Categories:
america, funny, metaphor, political, presidents day, symbolism, usa,
There’s this
Rotten orange smell
I can’t see the orange, mind you
But it’s somewhere behind
The television screen
I know because
We smell it
We know it is there
Always
I cannot breathe without
Remembering that rotten orange
That hidden somewhere
Moldy fruit
And honestly we were fine before it
We argued over other things and we didn’t
Complain
About fruit
Now I can’t watch tv
Without screwing up my nose
Or gagging at the smell
Without complaint after complaint
Because there’s nothing I can do
And no one knows how he got there
Too far out of reach
And it smells
So
Bad
Poem Details | by
Andrew Loud |
Categories:
america, appreciation, birthday, food, funny,
In the many long years since your birth
You've made twenty eight laps with the earth
In that time you've taken
Your fair share of bacon
And thus greatly increased in your girth
Poem Details | by
Mark Martin |
Categories:
america, baseball, funny, hilarious, humor, humorous, sports,
Diamond battleground
Collector's card currency
Hero factory
Little league conscripts
Vocal parental advice
Therapist's profits
Score report passion
Batting statistics frenzy
Relive by numbers
Glossary nightmare
Commentator's lexicon
Head scratching jargon
World series warfare
Stadium armageddon
Sponsorship looting
Counterfeit rounders?
Diplomatic incident!
Sanctions on cricket!
Entry to "the national pastime" contest
Written 12th February 2017
Notes: "Rounders" is a game played in both the UK and Ireland with similar rules to baseball https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rounders
Poem Details | by
Ralph Sergi |
Categories:
america, humorous,
There once was a young man from Turkey
Whose food tastes were known to be quirky
On braised lamb with Bordeaux
He had quickly said no
And asked if they had some Beef Jerky
Contest Poet Destroyer A October 8, 2015
Poem Details | by
Reynard Blake Jr |
Categories:
america, humor, irony, music, people, political, satire, woman,
Governor Brewer From Arizona
(song parody based on “Girl From Impanema”)
Short, tanned, governor of A-Z
Wagged finger at the commander-and-chief
That was so tasteless
And very racist
So odd!
Brewer dissed Barack Obama
And said Obama was threatening
Guards should have grabbed her
And teach her manners
By far!
Oh – is he really so thin-skinned?
Oh – don’t she know he’s a gangster?
He – killed Bin Laden with SEAL teams
Then he rescued folks from Somalis
He likes guns and diplomacy
Short, tanned, governor of A-Z
Racial profiling is so ungodly
Tell me what happens
In time
To economies
And brown folks don’t leech
And brown folks don’t leech
Poem Details | by
Michelle Born |
Categories:
america, blessing, color, cool, feelings, humor, life,
Why do I enjoy and love my Teletubbies
They are colorful and cute most of all very chubby,
I was hooked the moment I laid eyes on their loveable faces
People laugh at me because some times I take them to different places,
I don't care how other people feel about them they make me happy and that's the way it is
So as time goes by I love them more and more so that is my biz,
The moral to the story is if you like something and no one else agrees
Then just look at them and say; this is just me.
Written By: Unique Poetry 2015
Poem Details | by
Milan Georges Burovac |
Categories:
addiction, adventure, america, desire, funny love, i love you, paris,
choose this sun
you will have the body
I will be your skin
your city elsewhere
Paris I tell to him
here with me
Paris forever
us - bread and wine
us - street and air
Paris our love
Poem Details | by
J-Mag Guthrie |
Categories:
america, humor, humorous, immigration, space, word play,
The alien saucer fell hard.
It landed right there in my yard.
I'd give them jobs mowing
or cooking and sewing
but none of them has a Green Card.
Poem Details | by
Tom Quigley |
Categories:
america, humor, political,
There goes the Donald again, flapping his mouth
Every time he lets it fly, his ratings go South
And she who would be chief Constitutional vandal
The media just glossed over her latest scandal
Truly it’s a contest to see who’s the biggest loser
So put Jillian Michaels in charge; we could really use her
Is he nastier than her, or she worse than him?
Instead of the White House, get their butts to the gym
The true biggest loser, of course, is plain to see
The ordinary Americans like you and me...
8/2/16
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
america, future, humorous,
In 2020 Kayne West says he plans to run for President
Oh heaven help you all
Kim Kardashian for first lady
I wonder….
Will her first request be
To pain the White House…
PINK
God Bless America
31st August 2015
Poem Details | by
John Pen |
Categories:
africa, america, giggle, how i feel, international, people, political,
Ask me not where, when, why or how
Because if I knew I’d be president now
Wait a minute, presidents don’t know that too
I never said they did, but I have morals. Do you?
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
america, humorous, political,
I've checked the date it’s not April Fool’s Day -
Trump’s President of the U S of A
These words to you I impart
To me a ‘trump’ is a fart
In the White House this old farts gonna stay!
01~21~17
Poem Details | by
Milan Georges Burovac |
Categories:
america, funny love, garden, joy, poetry, woman, world,
a star and always her
constantly the moon in the garden
this wide paradise to me
where I declaim Emily Dickinson
syllable by syllable
to the happiness of the destinies
an eternal love
Poem Details | by
Tom Cunningham |
Categories:
america, death, humor,
The feared bounty hunter Frankie McGill
Was tracking bank robber , Montana Bill
Frankie caught him by surprise
Shot him dead between the eyes
Now Montana's on his way to Boot Hill...
Written 3rd May 2022.
High Noon Poetry Contest
Sponsored By Joseph May.
Poem Details | by
Thomas Martin |
Categories:
america, angst, autumn, humorous, night,
urban noise. . .
2000 mile drive
to Lake Ontario
dreamless sleep in tent
till generators charge