Humorous and funny Abuse poems and/or funny poems about Abuse. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Abuse funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Abuse Poems.
Poem Details | by
Skat A |
Categories:
abuse, funny, husband, me,
BLACK and BLUE
Today I wonder,
Wonder why?
You hit me in the eye,
you made me cry.
My eyes are brown,
Now they're black and blue.
Is that what I get for loving you?
My lips are pink, now they're bloody red.
Is that what I get!!!
Do you wish I were dead?
My teeth are white,
I just lost three,
Is that what I get over a little fight?
I see a smile underneath,
I see you leaving with the police.
I finally got rid of you.
I can't believe I waited,
UNTIL I WAS BLACK AND BLUE.
SK
NOTE: True story, I finally did the right thing and called the cops
Poem Details | by
Richard Breese |
Categories:
abuse, anti bullying, flower, funny, garden, hurt, summer,
i knew a bee that could sing
it worked for a queen and king
but they preferred honey
and paid it no money
now it sings backup for sting.
Poem Details | by
Samuel Lee |
Categories:
abuse, addiction, allegory, death, funny, metaphor, water,
The river dragon of crimson streams
Swiftly swimming to bring my end
As I’m standing alone at the silent shore
The beast from this murk suddenly ascends.
Gripping my face in her flawless jaws
The teeth latched efficiently into flesh
Pulling me quickly into the depths
Dragging me into the shallow grave.
Surrounded in filth, drowning in the banks
The apex predator’s grip never relenting
All I can do is break, bleed and decompose
Hoping for some relief in the pending death.
I find some comfort in this prolonged pain,
Because I haven’t felt a thing in ages.
Poem Details | by
Sidney Hall Mad Poet |
Categories:
abuse, addiction, art, funny,
I love the way you walk in your stilettos
The clickety click sound of your heels
The seductive sway of your hips
And the luring gaze that appeals
But when you walk softy
That is what I love the best
As your stilettos cover new territories
Across my bony chest
Oh the view my Soupies the view
Of man’s weakness I do stare
But never trust a woman in stilettos
As your bit lay unattended and bare.
Uhhhhhhhh!
I am the Mad Poet. For Debbie Guzzi. (I never enter contests to win.)
Poem Details | by
Jerry T Curtis |
Categories:
abuse, bullying, conflict, humorous,
If you want to bully me, you'd better stand in line
And I'll warn you right up front, it's gonna to take some time
It's really not my fault, cause it's nothing that I do
The way that I attract every loser just like you
Heeee---yaaaaaaa!!!!
Poem Details | by
Tom Cunningham |
Categories:
abuse, humor,
Pangie was struggling in the heat
Said this heat wave sure has me beat
This old hot sun
Is no damn fun
Its swelling my poor little feet.
Written on 18th August 2020.
Dedicated to Panagiota who is struggling in the Californian heat wave.
On a serious note I hope things cool down for her.
She gave kind permission to post it.
Poem Details | by
Skat A |
Categories:
abuse, animal, bullying, death, funny, humor, imagination, water,
-Bunny Hole- by:SKAT
hidden muddy home
dirty paws, good boy' good boy!
yummy with carrots :)
----------------------------
-Unwanted Fluffiness- by:PD
Big Brown Burlap Bag
drop Bunnies down By the Bay
Better off -Blue grave
~SKAT & PD~
Poem Details | by
Richard Breese |
Categories:
abuse, bullying, funny, giggle, high school, humor, humorous,
there was a teacher from crete
whose foot size was quite petite
well students did plot
and to school they brought
some shoes for oversized feet.
Poem Details | by
Arthur Vaso |
Categories:
abuse, bird, dream, horse, humorous,
TO TAME A SHREW
Tunke Tunke Tunke
I dragged her along and into the trunk
Clunk clunk clunk,
I hear some screaming from the Tunke
I drove away, in my brand new Lex
Avoiding both grammar and spelling checks
Safely away, I saved the day
Off I am to the road by the bay
Tunke Tunke Tunke
Her crass verse I too stuffed in the trunk
Drunk drunk drunk
How else does one explain a skunk in the trunk?
So by the bay, I opened me trunk
Someone is gonna be going for a dunk
I unloaded the cargo chapter and verse
At the bottom of the lake let’s see her converse
Poem Details | by
Richard Breese |
Categories:
abuse, anti bullying, farm, giggle, humor, humorous, silly,
a hungover farmer went one day
to a blacksmith shop to buy some hay
please dont think this funny
for he had no money
and so went home less vertebrae.
Poem Details | by
Richard Breese |
Categories:
angel, baby, child, child abuse, divorce, giggle, humor,
once a child with a rattle
enjoyed crawling around cattle
till its mother found out
and to her ex did shout
you lost your custody battle.
Poem Details | by
Rudolph Rinaldi |
Categories:
abuse, computer, funny, health, love, social, technology,
on the fancy package
it came in
it did not say
that smoking this
might be bad for your health --
So
in a dark corner of the room
I lit up my iPhone
smoked it
and felt
satisfied.
Poem Details | by
Duke Beaufort |
Categories:
abuse, bullying, culture, humor,
They do dirty jobs without fuss
And bring to our culture a plus
We claim they're unfit
And upon them some spit
Yet illegals are better than us
Author's note: It's ironic that the people who promote family values would deport the parents of US citizens (children born in the US to alien parents).
Poem Details | by
Jack Clark |
Categories:
abuse, corruption, environment, humor, humorous, political,
The “Bad Witch of Oz” lost her throne
They weren’t gonna’ leave her alone
… the water was Fracked
… it’s how she got whacked
But … how many others aren’t known!
Poem Details | by
Richard Breese |
Categories:
abuse, funny, hilarious, humor, silly,
flax oil tastes royal says jim
he will drink quite a lot no whim
fda deems fit
his liver wont quit
alas friends we buried him.
Poem Details | by
Poet Destroyer A |
Categories:
absence, abuse, confusion, corruption, funny,
it's too late to read this poem!
The poem was removed, due to alien activity.
Area 51
By: PD
Poem Details | by
Richard Breese |
Categories:
abuse, anti bullying, bullying, england, humor, humorous, political,
imagine a wanker joke
parliament gone up in smoke
brings in a rocket
hid deep in pocket
well guy fawkes you silly bloke.
Poem Details | by
Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories:
animals, funny, giggle,
Look at those humans staring below
They laugh at us, but what do they know
The “intellectual” beast
On greed and judgment will feast
They gaze at us and think WE are slow
We stare back and know they are the fools
We follow a better set of rules
As we hang from nature’s vines
We just giggle at their whines
They fail to use their soul-power tools
*Written in honor of John Freeman and his "Limericks Hilarious" contest.
Poem Details | by
Volodymyr Knyr |
Categories:
abuse, humorous, night, people, sleep, sound,
It's also a snap
to break someone's nap.
Volodymyr Knyr
2014
Poem Details | by
Verlena S. Walker |
Categories:
abuse, addiction, conflict, confusion, crazy, for her, funny love,
Must I be strong when you are weak?
If I am not, does this justify your beatings?
It would seem that the clouds would recede.
A smile upon my face all would see.
Volatile I deny.
The antagonistic world is outside.
In a world of iniquity, you are fighting self; therefore, no anti-emotions I let possess.
I just have to take good care of self and I shall receive the victory.
Note my mind is.
Notice my body is not.
Not you nor me can love any harder.
No, I want space.
Know I want you out of my face.
Poem Details | by
Richard Breese |
Categories:
abuse, anti bullying, bullying, giggle, holiday, humor, silly,
an australian tour guides slang
when confronted by a gang
better not be bold
and get home when told
or mate you get boomerang.
Poem Details | by
Volodymyr Knyr |
Categories:
abuse, conflict, family, humorous, husband, sports, wife,
Against a wife, a punchbag's just a dream!
While being punched it almost does not scream.
Volodymyr Knyr
2014
Poem Details | by
Rex Mccoy |
Categories:
abuse, addiction, humor,
~~~
So icy blue and windy too, the pub looms across the lake
One step forward three steps back, this nettlesome path forsake
~
So...Climbing upon the greenhouse roof, my drunken shortcut making
The glass beneath me shattering proof, of every step I'm taking
~
I cut my knees, I scrape my shins, my pants a ragged mess
A few more steps, I'll be across this frozen pond, I guess
~
A mighty crash, without a splash, the ice gives way too soon
My belt hangs up upon a nail, I dangle above the room
~
I wave my arms, I kick my legs
Hey!
There's people under water!
and I'm not even soaking wet, except I relieved my bladder
~~~
Poem Details | by
Erik Spector |
Categories:
abuse, humor,
"Much I marveled this ungainly Foul to hear discourse so plainly
Though its answer little meaning;
Bereft of all that I adore."
Further sitting there in English parliament I wondered
What this monstrous Panting "mother"
Meant.
Poem Details | by
Rudolph Rinaldi |
Categories:
abuse, environment, funny, growth, life,
I like Arthur
stack my dishes
high in mounds of glass and steel
like castles in the sink they rise
until the very top
when wet they slip
to their and my demise