Humorous and funny 5Th_Grade poems and/or funny poems about 5Th_Grade. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious 5Th_Grade funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other 5Th_Grade Poems.
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
2nd grade, 3rd grade, 4th grade, 5th grade, christian, humorous, music,
No one knows the rubble I’ve seen.
Nobody knows but DEEEshus.
I stop washing dishes and turn around.
My four-year-old is belting this out with gusto.
These dishes?
She nods.
Where did you learn it?
In church.
Okay.
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
4th grade, 5th grade, 7th grade, 8th grade, 9th grade, funny, humorous,
Eyelash soup
Get it while you can
It tickles all the way down
It makes you want to move and shout
When you eat two bowls
You get a wild urge to clean
Everything you have never cleaned before
You will move your oven out
Because that is what eyelash soup does for you
Hello, sir, how many bowls do you want?
Get it while it’s hot
It is not every day we make it
Difficult to get eyelashes you know
Eyelash soup
Get it while you can
For your mother and your wife?
What about you, sir?
What about a bowl for you?
Okay, sir, but let me tell you,
It puts a zing in your step that
was never there before.
Six bowls? Sure!
To go or will you be dining in?
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
2nd grade, 3rd grade, 4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade, 7th grade, hilarious,
The mice cavort and squeak and laugh.
I offer them my autograph.
They dance and hide under the couch.
Their waltzing prowess I can vouch.
I hear giggles every day.
They are my friends in every way.
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade, 7th grade, 8th grade, 9th grade, humorous,
Pancake Batter Bessie
She makes flapjacks so fine
Avoiding corn syrup
With Tabasco, liver and onions sublime.
We try to stop her
But she is obtrusive and a ghost
Where we make our own batter
We hide it with our toast.
For Bessie will take that batter
And add extra stuff galore.
Peanut butter and sausage
Corn, pickles, oranges and more.
Bessie empties our pantries in the middle of the night
And grills up inventive pancakes that fill every counter in sight.
Our mother has asked her to stay out of her kitchen.
Pancake Batter Bessy’s creative juices can’t for they are always itch’n.
Poem Details | by
Bryan Norton |
Categories:
5th grade, appreciation, friendship, humor,
Emilia J, so lovely and light, no sun-bearing song, could be singing so bright,
In the heat of the day, or the chill of the night, Emilia J, is a beautiful sight,
At the core of the Earth, or the crag-bearing crust, Emilia J, is a beacon of trust,
If you batter your bread, in a bag-tearing bust, Emilia J, is a poetry must.
Emilia J, how great can you be, writing your poems from the top of a tree,
The crows are upset, invariably, but Emilia J, is a blossom to me,
Her writing is finer than rabbits have hares, Emilia J, is a friend to the bears,
If poetry, possibly, prickles your pears, Emilia J, is a poet who cares.
Poem Details | by
Michelle Naves |
Categories:
5th grade, character, funny, games, race, silly,
I was playing my Nintendo
controller in my hand
I guess I dozed off
to Mario Kart land
It was Donkey Kong Stadium
I was in the lead
no one could catch me
as I reached maximum speed
Approaching the finish line
I heard a thundering squreech
slamming into the back of me
was my opponent peach
Everything went dark
and when I opened my eyes
I had fallen off my bed
only a dream to my surprise.
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
1st grade, 2nd grade, 3rd grade, 4th grade, 5th grade, humor,
There once was a tattle-tail named Clue.
Told on all of his classmates but two.
Big Fred never got told on,
Neither did a girl named Dawn.
His class would have traded him for glue.
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
1st grade, 2nd grade, 3rd grade, 4th grade, 5th grade, humor, humorous,
You will love fourth grade I was told by everyone
It is learning multiplication, algebra, truly much fun.
Do not get on the bad side though of Miss McLater.
She has the disposition of a fierce alligator.
She was the mysterious teacher we had never seen.
The other teachers had their photos up, but hers was green.
Just a field of grass, no person at all.
Labelled Miss McLater’s Grass, five feet tall.
I was shocked and horrified when she entered the room.
I felt threatened as her huge eyes promptly turned and zoomed.
She had an alligator’s head, or maybe it was face of a gator.
I knew I was never going to feel at ease with Miss McLater.
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
2nd grade, 3rd grade, 4th grade, 5th grade, cat, funny, hilarious,
Cautiously, creepily, carefully, camouflaged, calmly chewing
A rodent? Bunny? Mole? Rabbit? Something obviously dead.
Tenaciously chewing, happily chewing, swallowing their sweetness.
Poem Details | by
L Milton Hankins |
Categories:
5th grade, boy, humorous, nature,
When a young lad was caught playing with his willy
The other boys laughed, said he was being silly
But they certainly did it, too
When they had nothing else to do
Better than going anywhere willy-nilly.
written September 1, 2021
HONORABLE MENTION
"Make Me Laugh" Poetry Contest
All Poetry
September 6, 2021
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade, cat, funny, humor, humorous,
My Orange Cat
Brought Me Lunch
Tasty Mouse
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
3rd grade, 4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade, 8th grade, fun, humorous,
Chocolate is my comfort food
No matter how much pain I am in
I can scarf down a little eight ounce Hershey Bar
or a trio of Peanut Butter Cups.
German chocolate cake?
MMMMMM oh, yes please.
Let me get cozy in my comfortable recliner.
Can you make sure it is chilled and garnish it with a cherry?
I take my comfort foods seriously.
Hey! Is that a bit of....
My husband comes in to see me eat it off the floor
"That was something Sophie dropped yesterday."
It is not like Sophie to drop food
But then again
It is not food.
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade, fun, funny, humorous, light,
There once was a dentist named Dick
He inflicted pain with a kick
A patient named Fred
Was soon seeing red,
So he jumped down and ran out quick.
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
2nd grade, 3rd grade, 4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade, 7th grade, funny,
Happy Snappy Ladybug me.
I am as cheerful as you think I ought to be.
I fly brief ways from flower to flower.
Some are tasty, others are sour.
Happy Snappy Ladybug me.
What you get is what you see.
Red back with spots so pretty and black.
I fly from one flower, taste, and promptly fly back.
Happy Snappy Ladybug me.
It is the life of your human Riley.
Loving the flowers that are freshly washed.
Having a great life until I am squashed.
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
4th grade, 5th grade, 7th grade, 8th grade, 9th grade, humorous, moon,
By the light of the moon the skeleton danced
He was exuberant, happy, thrilled with his mission
The surrounding shadows hid their eyes
Fearful of his excitement, afraid of who he might convert
What if they all started to shed their flesh? A chipmunk asked.
A worm who had been hiding under the same leaf nodded.
It could be anarchy, mayhem, a catastrophic Armageddon.
What kind of worm are you? The chipmunk asked. “A bookworm?”
The bookworm was silent; for he was a CIA bookworm.
Poem Details | by
Tim Riding |
Categories:
3rd grade, 4th grade, 5th grade, family, funny,
MY FAMILY
When I think about my family,
I think of Mum and me,
And then of course there is my Dad
So that makes three.
My older brother Jake is here,
So that makes four,
And five, well that’s my little sister
Crawling on the floor.
There’s Grandma and my Grandpa,
Who always turn up late,
To have their Sunday lunch with us,
So that makes eight.
I’ll have to count my tabby cat,
My dog who's name is Ben.
They don’t get on, as you could guess,
So that makes ten.
Fifteen fishes in a tank,
And cage birds, we’ve got plenty.
Now let me see, Oh! I’ve lost count,
But it MUST be more that twenty.
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade, 7th grade, 8th grade, 9th grade, humorous,
She was the envy of the other roaches, for her marvelous house.
They were jealous of her pink high heeled shoe, especially a louse.
He was angry because he could not slide into his own soft little bed.
She was thrilled he was jealous, for he was arrogant and not well-bred.
Can we visit? The lady bugs asked for they wanted to see the shoe.
To see her cloistered closet, darkness suited her through and through.
You have to come out sometime yelled that louse, Little Ned.
She was thrilled when her owner accidentally stomped him on his head.
.
Poem Details | by
James Edward Lee Sr. |
Categories:
5th grade, adventure, analogy, bullying, funny,
~ aunt Jan baby sited young niece diaper full brother fed her Exlax™
1st Place Placement in Contest
For Tease a Friend Poetry Monoku Contest
Sponsored by Bobby May
2/2/21
A Fun joyous wit dedicated to Jan Allison
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
3rd grade, 4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade, 7th grade, funny, nonsense,
The horses’ lacy white petticoats and ribboned pantaloons
Were kicked almost as high as a delightful orange harvest moon.
The anger came from the big burly brown baboons
Who were left out by the snotty uppity raccoon.
I felt like an uninformed ridiculous goon,
Because I had assigned the notorious snotty coons
The task of doling out the petticoats and the pantaloons.
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
1st grade, 2nd grade, 3rd grade, 4th grade, 5th grade, cat, humorous,
The shy, feral cat creeps in close to the ground,
Stealthily, silently, is not a sound.
We don't even notice her gold and brown.
Sneakily, makes a nest above high ground.
When husband sees, he makes a sound.
Was eight years ago, and she's still around.
Poem Details | by
Jim Kilduff |
Categories:
5th grade, 6th grade, 7th grade, 8th grade, appreciation, fun, humorous,
It ducks and dives
bouncing through the air
buzzing for it's life
free without care;
now disappeared a silence,
can't see it anywhere
a mass of confusion
It could be over there?
As elusive as it is scheming,
the lord of all flies,
Who leaves me screaming,
"Why are you so wise?!"
Incognito, always in disguise
It' colour deceitful a deep blue mottle
A skydiver, a rocket, that's Mr. Bluebottle.
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
3rd grade, 4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade, 7th grade, 8th grade, funny,
Chatter box went home with Magpie P
Listener neither could ever be
Neither stopped talking
Both kind of squawking
So they invited others to come drink tea
Poem Details | by
Nadia Kuhlman |
Categories:
5th grade, freedom, funny, how i feel, humorous, mental illness, senses,
Sniffle, sniffity Sniff. Sniff.
I has found some dandriff.
Dandriff makes me sniff, so
sniffle, sniffity Sniff. Sniff.
Oh!
And by the way,
me name is Piff,
the magical dragon.
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade, 7th grade, 8th grade, 9th grade, funny,
There once was an owl name of Lash.
He hid all his toys in the trash.
Along came a crow
He stopped and said “whoa!”
And stole every bit of the cache.
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade, 7th grade, 8th grade, 9th grade, funny,
The puma is so sleek and black
I have no doubt he’d break my back
And carry me off to feed his cubs
They would love my fat and chubs.
The puma would come in the night
And grab my neck and hold me tight
I would lose my life but who cares?
I would get to see his puma lairs.
The puma’s eyes would be so green.
In the woods, he’d not be seen.
He’d grab me up so amazingly fast.
I would not very quickly last.