These are funny poems written by international poets. Funny poems are added daily and hundreds of new funny poems are added weekly for your reading pleasure.
Poem Details | by
Herfurth , Matthew |
Categories:
humor,
Gate
The west side gate has
grown a
heavier-than-air
wing.
Poem Details | by
Herfurth , Matthew |
Categories:
humor,
Chimes
The nap limit per day the
front porch chimes have put on
me leaves a
very bad taste in
my mouth! Oh they’re all
totally UNFAIR rules. Their rules ULTRA ache
my brain!
Poem Details | by
Herfurth , Matthew |
Categories:
humor,
Cricket Bat
My old cricket bat stores all the
divisions of
geological time.
Poem Details | by
Herfurth , Matthew |
Categories:
humor,
Logs
The logs on the
west side of
the house can
turn gas
into
liquid.
Poem Details | by
Herfurth , Matthew |
Categories:
humor,
Garbage Bins
I recommend garbage bins outside to
be spanked, but ...
not publicly. Why? Because
they stink! Roaches and
blow flies might
uphold, defend that action of
spanking.
Poem Details | by
Herfurth , Matthew |
Categories:
humor,
Cereal Bowls
When cereal bowls in
the kitchen cupboards get
deeply sexually aroused they
go up in
flames.
Poem Details | by
Herfurth , Matthew |
Categories:
humor,
Wish
I made a wish for
Elmwood Airport hangers to
store official notification of
facts, and, to
store liquor with a
raw egg base.
Poem Details | by
Herfurth , Matthew |
Categories:
humor,
Dreams
Latest dreams: loaning a
small sum of
money to
the daisy patch on the
east side of
the front yard; at an early stage in
development preaching not elementary language to
claylike people; watching expressionlessly bark and
stick ****; furthering the cause of
adverse effects (it’s better to not live a
lie); encouraging the black birds on
the cement path out front to
never go after
money, benefit, profit, power, and
so forth by
unprincipled means.
Poem Details | by
Herfurth , Matthew |
Categories:
humor,
Bulb
The bulb above me can
really see all
increases in
retail store prices ahead of
in time.
Poem Details | by
Krutsinger, Caren |
Categories:
humor,
I like you the five-year-old said
Even if you have a long hair growing out of your chin
I laughed, thinking this was a joke
Until I looked in the mirror
Who knew old women grow long chin hair?
Now I do.
Thanks to an astute five-year-old girl
Poem Details | by
Krutsinger, Caren |
Categories:
humor,
What are you studying? I asked two co-eds.
One is getting a masters in tissue removal.
The other is getting a bachelor’s degree in pillowcase warfare.
Raising a whole new slew of questions.
Poem Details | by
Rodrigues, Kim |
Categories:
holiday, humor,
The snowman’s in deep and dirty.
He’s melting on gal that’s flirty.
Seems Frosty is bit
by Frostina’s knit.
He’s fallen for snow that’s perdy.
Too many of HO ho ho hums,
bored Santa does meet up with chums.
His time, with a plum,
all sugary yum.
His beard is all dirty with crumbs.
Seems Rudolph has stolen the sleigh.
Gives ride to a doe from L. A.
The Eve, he forgot,
but Santa will not.
Now, shoveling coal without pay.
Poem Details | by
Ramel, Michael |
Categories:
christmas, humor, winter,
I'm heading home for Christmas
(Snows on the way)
In a plane, then a cab and a sleigh
Bringing presents and prizes I've made
Giddy yup horsey! I musn't be late
Of God we are saints, of myth this Nick
This mystical and elusive controtionist
Over rooftops, down chimneys without a slip
Hanging stockings and mistletoe
For an occasional kiss
Stretch and yawn and wiping sleep from our eyes
Hey there's frost on the window
On green bows dancing lights
On the mantle the the stockings "Oh boy, what's inside!?"
There's no coal in my stockings, that isn't right
There's no coal in my stockings but I need it for heat
Then on with the stockings to comfort my feet
Poem Details | by
Brown, Salmon |
Categories:
11th grade, anger, funny,
• Snivelling spineless rat!
• Show yourself like a man
• Pull up your big boy pants
• And bring back my van!
Poem Details | by
Beaufort, Duke |
Categories:
humor, language,
Her Italian has a mystique
My wife can three languages speak
With English hooray
She has a cachet!
Though her Crochet texts mimic Greek
Poem Details | by
Herfurth , Matthew |
Categories:
humor,
Building
There’s a building in
Elmwood made of
ado; antagonism and
hostility; everything appearing accidently; and
everything spoiled because of
added in
poor quality.
Poem Details | by
Herfurth , Matthew |
Categories:
humor,
Sofa Cushions
I let the cushions on
the sofa in the
downstairs living room record my
sleeping patterns because
that’s what she
loves to do.
Poem Details | by
Herfurth , Matthew |
Categories:
humor,
The Sky
The sky should give off a
unique smell that tells us
when to
clean out
long overdue unwanted items in
our drawers.
Poem Details | by
Herfurth , Matthew |
Categories:
humor,
Hormones
I like to add 200g of
the ingredient uncritical secreting hormones to
all tin soups. I might think about adding
stress response too.
Poem Details | by
Herfurth , Matthew |
Categories:
humor,
Looking Forward to
I look forward to
wringing my
endocrine glands covering the
top exterior of
the kidneys; loving deeply, intensely, first respecting and
approving the
toilet brush; the
new second Tuesday of
the week.
Poem Details | by
Herfurth , Matthew |
Categories:
humor,
Angles
Eat cereal of
specified angles. They’ve given the order to because
they’ve agreed that
there’s way too many of
them about.
Poem Details | by
Herfurth , Matthew |
Categories:
humor,
Sides
Look for sides of a
right-angled triangle. They’d like you to
do that
very much.
Poem Details | by
Herfurth , Matthew |
Categories:
humor,
Information
Bathe in numbers providing the
location of
the pieces of
kept information.
Poem Details | by
Herfurth , Matthew |
Categories:
humor,
Watering Cans
The latest water restrictions will add an
extra sadness to
the before the
present time sad watering cans here and
there.
Poem Details | by
Herfurth , Matthew |
Categories:
humor,
Fridge Magnets
I love my
fridge magnets. They’re much quicker than me at
combining numbers so I
pay them to do all
large number or
quantity questions in
my math tests and
homework assignments. We have a
special way of
communicating.
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