Funny Poems

These are funny poems written by international poets. Funny poems are added daily and hundreds of new funny poems are added weekly for your reading pleasure.

Poem Details | by Pathak, Aniruddha |
Categories: humor,

Modest is never me

I don’t want to be famous, is no gripe,
One can well-known be with a lot of hype,
No never, that’s not me,
I’d rather farther see
To see myself a legendary type.
___________________  
Limerick|12.11.2024|humour

Poet’s note: No, I never and cannot say such a thing. This is what Calvin said to his alter ego and puffed tiger, Hobbes.  

Poem Details | by Drowley, David |
Categories: animal, humor, poetry,

Dorothy

There once was Glenda with slippers to share.
Dorothy liked better Prada devil’s pair.
She ducked behind Oz’s curtain
To do what is uncertain,
But the Lion put a crib in his lair.


Poem Details | by Gadbois, Charles |
Categories: humor,

Colonoscopy

Colonoscopy
Are you ready for the time of your life?
A colonoscopy?
It’s a big word.
Not sure what the Dr. is looking for.
Turn 50.
Get ready.
Mid-life crisis.
Don’t fight it.
Dig deep.
Fall asleep.
You're just getting old.
You need suspenders to hold your *** up.
Be brave, go under.
Microscope snakes through a tunnel.
Hope everything works out.
This is crap.
Just a sense of humor.
The nightmare will soon be over.
Just like being in jail.
A good laugh here and there.
Face turns pale.
Eat Taco Bell.

Poem Details | by Hinshaw, Robert L. |
Categories: humorous,

The Tin Man Of Oz

That wicked old witch made me the Tin Man

   Sans a heart, I'm like a rusty tin can

      I creak like a screechy hinge

         Making my many friends cringe

            A spritz of oil keeps me going again

Poem Details | by Ncede, Sibusisiwe LETA |
Categories: adventure, africa, appreciation, confusion, discrimination, family, hilarious,

IS THIS THE STORY

The sequence of events
Lead me to believe 
That love exists
The sequence of drama
Lead me to believe 
That the story is readable 
Who could have thought?,

The sea speaks in tongues 
Are you listening?
A profound word
The birds mumbles the unknown 
Can you relate?
To the truth
Who could have known?,

The sequence of events
Lead me to believe 
That lies exists
The sequence of drama
Lead me to believe 
That the story is yet to begin 
Who could have thought?.


Poem Details | by Johnson, Md |
Categories: dog, funny, humor,

Yellow Road Bricks

Toto could pull off some really neat tricks
He could do more than bark at green chicks 
  With the lift of a leg
  After slurping a keg
He could make miles of yellow road bricks


Poem Details | by Vionet, Anais |
Categories: encouraging, endurance, future, happiness, hope, humor, imagination,

stick figures

(a poem in Haiku and Senryu)

Draw a stick figure
future - diminished
and chaos ransomed.

Paint the landscape
with the sweltering glare
of global warming.

Add micro-plastic
and forever chemical
flavorings to taste.

Come share this
with me - let kisses heal and
soft whispers inflame.

Some locks need two keys
to open, some heavens can
be reached by mortals.
.
.
A song for this:
All Gone Away by The Style Council

Poem Details | by Messina, Charles |
Categories: humorous,

Quite Contrary

When quite contrary crashed on Mary 
And the pan hit Peter's head 
They found Humpty Dumpty and the over the moon cow 
Lying in the courtyard dead 
And when Mary's tuffet was bit by a Muffet 
The Incy Wincy spider ran 
Mary ran too, in fact, she almost flew 
When she saw the spider on her little lamb

Poem Details | by Miller, Terry |
Categories: humorous,

Tap and Sink

The tap and the sink had a brawl
(the pair  being stuck to the wall)
the cold tap smashed the sink
with a crash and a plink;
serenely watched by pee stall.

Interposed did tap’s buddy, drain,
(who held up the sink with a strain.)
Dear sink is in pieces;
her value decreases;
she once was so smart and urbane!

Poem Details | by Cunningham, Tom |
Categories: funny, humor,

Tin Man's Dilemma


The Wicked Witch was Tin Man’s fantasy
He'd never seen such a beauty as she
It rained and his joints seized
Left poor Tin Man quite peeved
Every step that he took was misery...

They stopped at Yellow Brick Rd gas station
Asked the pump jockey for lubrication
He sprayed Tin Man with grease
So, he could move with ease
Tin Man jumped up and down with elation... 

He held the witch’s hand but wanted more
But didn't foresee what fate had in store
Something hadn't been greased
Tin Man wasn't too pleased
When his rusted man thing dropped on the floor...

Poem Details | by Wolf, Gershon |
Categories: food, giggle, humor, hyperbole, leadership, political, satire,

Make America Eat Junk-Food Again

 ~ A Little Post-Election Humor Never Hurts ~

   Old McDonald’s had a roadside stand
      “Make America Eat Junk-Food Again”
    And at that roadside stand was RFK
       eating processed food, Ole!

    Old McDonald’s had a kiosk too
      “Make America Throw Up Again”
    And at that kiosk was DJT, version two
       With Elon Musk, his 'new best friend’ ...

    Now Old McDonald’s has a new lease on life
        Just don’t expect to see Melania there, Trump’s wife
     But – and this may surprise the ‘H’ out of you
        I hear Barron’s got a hankerin’ for Mickey D’s mouth-watering
                                         ~ ‘filet of horse stew’

Poem Details | by Wolf, Gershon |
Categories: baby, bible, humor, marriage, youth,

A Story you never hear in Sunday School

    Rebecca was three years old when Isaac took her for a wife
       Nineteen years later, no children, but still pro-life

    Finally pregnant, Rebecca’s joy was short-lived, with twins inside
       tossing and turning tumultuously in the embryo of Isaac’s bride

    Rachel heard of this and learned her lesson
       Meeting Jacob at age five, her brother Laban said: ‘No messin’ 

    Seven years (and one week) later, they finally got hitched
       Thoughts of kids at five, ‘unceremoniously’ ditched

Poem Details | by Lawless, John |
Categories: humor, political,

BYE-BYE BRANDON

Alas he still bore the “code” POTUS
When they realized “his ship will not float us”
So they gave him the shoe
With a swift “bloodless coup”
Convinced that nobody would notice

Poem Details | by Roper, Eve |
Categories: funny, relationship,

Dorothy and the Lion

Wicked Witch of the West always jealous
Her green skin couldn't be seen near the trellis.
    Cackling at Dorothy, you’re 
    Not in Kansas anymore
Scarecrows are all you will get for fellas.

What happens in your world is your problem.
It's what's in your heart and soul, a poem.
    The lion beast I will meet;
    A heart that will kiss my feet.
Flashing a smile, he will use a condom.

Poem Details | by Messina, Charles |
Categories: humorous,

Driver's Beware

If you're operating a motor vehicle look for signs 
Especially, if you don't want to pay ticket fines 
Don't drive all that fast or all that slow 
Especially, if you want to get to where you want to go
Because accidents happen when you drive too fast or try to pass 
And by driving too slowly you might get bumped in your ***

Poem Details | by Horn, James |
Categories: analogy,

Horn Humorous Trump Haiku

Horn Trump Humorous Haiku

when Trump had to pick
out from official would kick
always made us sick

should see his small pause
made a lot of Hims and haws
broke all of the laws

Trump a nincompoop
awkward with a hula hoop
with a gawdy group 

likes pie of pecan
Trump would serve it on front lawn
ate until all gone

Poem Details | by Woods, Crystol |
Categories: childhood, cute, fear, funny, innocence,

Clean Up in Aisle Two



Through my little fingers I'd peek
When I was a kid I would freak
Watching wicked witch melt
Frightful fear I then felt
That I wouldn't bathe for a week!

Poem Details | by Wright, Tom |
Categories: humor,

Ha Ha

Ha Ha Miracle Man 11/18/2024 I don't like humor for it always makes me laugh thus causing wrinkles.

Poem Details | by Messina, Charles |
Categories: humor,

Some People Without A Brain Do An Awful Lot Of Thinking

The Scarecrow, he was born without a brain 
And the Tinman got all rusted from the rain 
Because the Tinman had no heart 
And because the Scarecrow was smart 
Instead of walking to Oz, he'd taken a train

Poem Details | by Dare, Temitayo |
Categories: age, change, death, destiny, grief, humor, inspirational,

Familiar journey

Man strives so hard, for what precisely?
To live a good life, and die afterwards,
What an Irony.
Man wants to survive for what precisely 
To hope that someday a dream would be valid 

But today I understood better. life is a journey of different destination, if  you work so hard and smart, and you  don’t make up so far and you die you would need to come back to life and the journey would begin all over again

For today a man dies tomorrow another is birthed the first cry of a child is the cry of uncertain vision, cry of desperation to make it so as not to come back to a familiar journey.

Poem Details | by Drowley, David |
Categories: anxiety, fear, humorous, image,

Porcelain Face

There once was a Marm with a dripping cold
Whose bright idea she feared would unfold:
Her deep scribed porcelain face
Was far harder to replace
Then a soaked sink her plumber could not hold.

Poem Details | by Woods, Crystol |
Categories: animal, cute love, family, funny love,

Awe Family


My husband is over protective.
Less stress is his doctor's objective.
But with two teens at home,
Always on the damn phone,
"Let go" isn't always effective!

My teen daughter is always respectful.
But with chores she is ever forgetful.
Leaving notes doesn't help,
So I tried Grampas belt,
Now we laugh on the floor as we wrestle!

Too many pets with too many holes!
What goes in them from their cute pet bowls,
Comes out of more than just one,
If I don't clean it's not done,
Making me ill seems to be their goals!

Poem Details | by Coleman, Paul |
Categories: atheist, fantasy, heaven, humanity, humor,

Jam Tomorrow

pinholes pricked
in the jam jar lid
so we can breathe

stars revolve
heavens open
raspberry Armageddon

Poem Details | by Famuyiwa, Maclawrence |
Categories: encouraging, friendship, funny, loneliness, social, uplifting,

Who Am I

              I am funny,
        hidden under veils of shyness.
      Many think I'm social and outgoing,
        But I'm an introvert.
  I can be alone in a room for many days,
  without getting bored or tired of being alone.
    Just give me what to eat and drink.
  More importantly make the place comfortable.

              As I'm older,
        I realise I need to mix.
      So, I form new friendships and socialize.
        I can't be an island,
  when my ambition is to compete at the top.
  No one gets to the peak without needing others.
    Hence, I court goodwill at all cost.
  without which I know I can't ever smell greatness

Poem Details | by Lawless, John |
Categories: age, humor, life,

at heaven's gate

Don’t have to walk the dog
Or let the cat out
Don’t matter
If the seats left up or down
I always know 
Who farted
Still ask
Why are “we”
Watching this
Still check the mail
Mr. Edison
Writes monthly
The Maitre d’ shouts
“table for one”
OK…OK…
It’s the local deli
And a guy
Wearing baggy
Rubber gloves shouts
“NEXT”
I picture him
At heaven’s gate
Shouting…..


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