These are funny poems written by international poets. Funny poems are added daily and hundreds of new funny poems are added weekly for your reading pleasure.
Poem Details | by
Jansen, Marinus |
Categories:
bible, creation, god, humanity, humorous, judgement,
I’m tired of most of my children.
They’re rotten to their very core.
I’m tired of most of my children.
I just can’t stand them anymore.
I’m gonna destroy them for their sinning,
for having done everything that I abhor.
Watch! as the unfathomable flooding is beginning,
to last 40 days ~ or 150? I’m not yet entirely sure.*
*There's still a lively debate in Biblical Studies whether the two numbers (150 days in Genesis 7:17, and 40 days in Genesis 7:24) represent a contradiction or are easily reconciled.
Poem Details | by
Crandall, David |
Categories:
animal, humor,
A nut-brown squirrel wore his smile in a curl,
such a clever one was he.
He ate nuts and fruit in his nut-brown suit
in my avocado tree.
He gives me such lip, never does he tip,
and eats my harvest for free.
Poem Details | by
Dimino, Joe |
Categories:
crush, cute love, feelings, humorous, inspirational, language, poetry,
You say you like to soar,
Love Poetry your breeze
and lift: So, if it's a sonnet
I'm on it! Something longer
more romantically entwined~
then I'm inclined! Something
light, and amorously funny...then
I'm your honey! Whatever the
writer's part, not word, nor damn
alphabet, will keep me from winning
your Heart!
Poem Details | by
Dimino, Joe |
Categories:
desire, emotions, humorous, lust, passion, psychological, romantic,
Of course, love is insanity
don't dare get me near the
couch! Love is honesty --
Dr. you are my cure!
You ask me to open up...
then all you do is write...
next appointment, make
it somewhere more private~
dinner and candlelight.
Poem Details | by
Jansen, Marinus |
Categories:
age, health, humor, humorous, life, winter,
One thing when you get this old ~
is that your body can get so unbearably cold,
because your skin gets so thin,
it lets all the iciness in,
and then a hot partner is worth their weight in gold.
Poem Details | by
Dimino, Joe |
Categories:
humor, husband, i love you, inspirational love, true love, wife, wisdom,
I thought to write you
a song today; my mind
still apt -- though my fingers
a bit too creaky...had the piano
tuned, but it did not make me
a Chopin. Decided then on
a heartfelt love poem -- went
into my Shakespeare persona...
then tried Elisabeth and Emily --
Dr. Seuss did not seem to carry
the same sentiment --
What the heck!~ a sincere hug
and kiss has worked for half
a century -- you always know
my intentions.
Poem Details | by
Poetry, Alkas |
Categories:
allusion, funny, humor,
DoctorDoctor, doctor, how did the operation go?
– But what doctor, what nonsense! Look, I'm Saint Peter!
PS. alkas TRANSLATING Paulo Miranda
Poem Details | by
Bartley, Benjamin |
Categories:
dog, humor,
Bud is loyal to the end
Bud loves me. I’m her friend
Bud licks my face
And sniffs my butt
Wags her tail
Yah, she’s a mut
Just like me, you see
I just may have some Native in me yet
With maps of Earth in her fur
And wrinkled ones on me
We’ve guided our way here
On Earth
Together
We are buds
Tree to pee
Anywhere we please
Poem Details | by
Allison, Jan |
Categories:
fear, humorous,
I
abhor
the way that
you’ve silently
stalked me in my house
I have begged you to leave
But you steadfastly refused
I’ve just found you in my bedroom
I’m rooted to the spot in terror
And yell so loudly my son rushes in
Help!
I scream.
My son looks
At my white face.
He bravely squares up,
corners the intruder
then pounces like a cat.
“Gotcha”! He says in triumph
As he captures the small spider
“You are safe to move again now mum”
How I hate being arachnid phobic!
Poem Details | by
Mckeithan, Oliver |
Categories:
humor,
there was a young surgeon named Bob
who learned his craft on the job
on a post op exam
with stethoscope in hand
realized where he left his Swiss watch and fob
Poem Details | by
Dennison, Dill |
Categories:
funny, humor, inspirational, introspection, winter,
There is only one man who I pity.
And it is he; for whom all hope is gone.
For there is not a day quite as shatty;
as a winter’s day in a porta john…
Poem Details | by
Mckeithan, Oliver |
Categories:
humor,
Randolph Peter Best
thought he was a better drummer than all the rest
but his new band wouldn’t put up with such malarky
and he was soon replaced by Richard Starkey
*For those who don't know-Richard Starkey is aka Ringo Starr*
Poem Details | by
Jansen, Marinus |
Categories:
anger, humorous, rude, student, teacher,
I once had a PE teacher from Lille,
who cruelly knew how to make me feel
like the sweaty, old rag
stuffed in her scuffed gym bag
to hide her cigs and butt plug of steel.
Poem Details | by
Mckeithan, Oliver |
Categories:
humorous,
“With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come”
From The Merchant of Venice by Shakespeare
I enjoy the mirth
I like the laughter
I can do without the old wrinkles!
Poem Details | by
Mckeithan, Oliver |
Categories:
humor,
Lucky Day
As luck would have it I:
put on the last pair of clean pants
spilled cereal on them
realized I was late for a meeting
ran through a stop sign
did not see the state trooper sitting there
got a hefty fine
rolled into an empty parking lot
fell into a pile of mulch
ran into the office
found out that it was Saturday
in a fit of peak ran back to the car
and fell into the same pile of mulch
sped home as fast as I could
forgot about the state trooper sitting there
got another hefty fine
got home and breathed a sigh of relief
and said to myself this is my lucky day.
Poem Details | by
Andresen, Anne-Lise |
Categories:
humor, music, tribute,
Pink Floyd
Such cruel misery, shocking
Parents generation distanced themselves
"The Dark Side of the Moon"
Psychedelic rock,
they could not believe -
or did not want to believe
Hallucinogens on vinyl !
Surrealistic !
"Is There Anybody Out There?"
Worldwide recognition
"Shine On You Crazy Diamond"
Pink Floyd - giants without a doubt
innovative in their; "Time"
"Oh, By the Way"
... "Have a Cigar"
Poem Details | by
Ward, Daisy |
Categories:
holiday, humor,
This leprechaun Fastly appeared
And said, will you be mine, my dear
He showed me his gold
That little man was bold
So, I snatched it up and disappeared
Poem Details | by
Healey, Jim |
Categories:
humor, political,
What? The Gulf of Mexico is no mo'?
Well, that's just a big no-no!
I like what some cartoons show -
southern half of the Gulf: "Golfo de Mexico",
northern half: "Golfo del Presidente Loco"!
So, to honour our Mexican amigos,
let's sing a cantata
then call the "Gulf of Alaska"
the Gulf of Canada!!!
Poem Details | by
Jansen, Marinus |
Categories:
allusion, bible, education, humorous,
Hey, my old pal, Don!
Fancy meeting you here at the eschaton.
I was always so lousy at biblical exegesis.
I used to hate that stuff to pieces.
Can you please clue me in. What the hell's going on?
Poem Details | by
Famuyiwa, Maclawrence |
Categories:
america, basketball, dream, humorous, motivation, sports, star,
Hakeem "The Dream" Olajuwon,
Had moves defenders would frown upon.
From Lagos to Texas, he rose to fame,
And left rivals grasping in shame.
As "Little Moses," they called his name,
In Houston, he rose to acclaim.
He ruled with finesse,
Brought gold to the press,
And walked in the halls of great fame.
Till today, he's a legend of the game,
And basketball players still honour his name.
One of the greatest, his legacy thrives,
Still sharing his wisdom in many lives.
Poem Details | by
Krutsinger, Caren |
Categories:
humor,
The stranger’s hat was cattywampus
His grey and white toupee slightly askew
Church ladies thought he was single
I mean more than just a random few
They surrounded him at the pot luck
Before he was introduced to the church
The fact he is the new minister’s husband
Gave quite a few old biddies a lurch.
Poem Details | by
Mckeithan, Oliver |
Categories:
humorous,
there was a young man from Connaught
who never once had a deep thought
who fell into a well
said, man this is swell
I am in way over my head
Poem Details | by
Mckeithan, Oliver |
Categories:
humorous,
Robet Allan Zimmerman
a native-born Minnesotan
he changed his name to Dylan
and now he is worth millions
Poem Details | by
Mckeithan, Oliver |
Categories:
humorous,
Michael Phillip Jagger
learned to strut and sway with swagger
the queen thought him so chique
she knighted him and now he is known as Sir Mick
Poem Details | by
Mckeithan, Oliver |
Categories:
humorous,
‘What light through yonder window breaks.’
(Romeo and Juliet, Act 2, Scene 2)
By Shakespeare
Must have been the rock I threw, Juliet
Didn’t mean to throw it so hard
Uh oh, I hear your parents
Gotta go!
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