These are funny poems written by international poets. Funny poems are added daily and hundreds of new funny poems are added weekly for your reading pleasure.
Poem Details | by
Waltrip, Robert |
Categories:
allegory, humor, philosophy,
On the table, posing silent,
It taunts our outlook, coyly –
Un-sharing of its true intent,
In Mona Lisa mystery.
We bite at its enticing mass,
That bends our mind in simple bait –
This still-life liquid in a glass,
A frozen frame on reel of fate.
Some say it’s half the way toward gone,
While others see there’s more to pour.
But are we blessed for adding on,
Or simply cursed for drinking more?
Just midway toward decisiveness,
This glass awaits its destiny.
It’s in the hands of thirstiness,
Or trapped by formed capacity.
Seems that we get what we perceive,
In bias of the eye’s invent,
By what it is that we believe –
Or, maybe what is never meant.
Poem Details | by
Freie, Randy |
Categories:
humorous,
My friend Danny was soon to be wed
I implied he'd be better off dead
He mused, then winked at me
And walked into the sea
I hope it wasn't something I said
Poem Details | by
Wolf, Gershon |
Categories:
celebration, giggle, me,
I hear Trump was inaugurated today
~ cold snap turned me away
Poem Details | by
Wiener, Thomas |
Categories:
bird, humor,
Poor Hello Kitty
Rests on a stoop
Her eyes droop
Bird poop
Now goop
In her hair
People, beware
Of birds in the air!
Poem Details | by
Prothero, Jerrold |
Categories:
funny, humor, humorous, poetry, poets, satire, silly,
A sentence or two, nothing more.
Five rhymes, and then back out the door.
A meter that’s strained,
Some topic profaned:
Ah me! What’s a limerick for?
Poem Details | by
Cunningham, Tom |
Categories:
humor,
New year
Big cheer.
Low gear
Snows here.
Wind blew
Leaves flew.
Team scored
Crowd roared.
Sun tan
Bronzed man.
Warm sun
Beach fun.
Beach walk
Gulls squawk.
Bright bling
Gold ring.
Place bet
Roulette.
Bells ring
Wedding.
Trains late
Irate.
Won race.
First place.
Birds fly
Sky high.
Flat tire
My ire.
Written on 20th January 2025
Poem Details | by
Krutsinger, Caren |
Categories:
humor, work,
Yellow duck applied for the waitress job
Should I hire her? Asked my pal Rob.
Can she hold a tray?
Not really, but she is an angry duck.
And I don’t want to end up dead.
Sure, hire her, I told him.
Isn’t that why we hire most people?
Poem Details | by
Krutsinger, Caren |
Categories:
humor,
Her sisters and female cousins showed up in full force
Sat together, waiting for her cheating husband on the porch
They had rolling pins and knives in their hands
His car slowed down, but then the wimpy chicken promptly ran.
Poem Details | by
Mckeithan, Oliver |
Categories:
humor,
Phyllo
Sweet taste of baclava.
Drizzled honey.
Crunchy walnuts.
Hint of nutmeg.
Warmed to delicate crispness.
My mouth waters.
Eyes light with delight.
Nose twitches in anticipation.
But…….
Here I stand at midnight.
My kitchen a doughy mess.
Rolling and re-rolling phyllo dough
My trials and tribulations
on display with cracked
and torn doughy pieces
spread across the counter.
Exhausted, ready to give up.
The baklava seems miles away.
Time wasted proving I can’t
make phyllo dough.
I slouch in my chair.
Depression seeps into my soul.
Then, with a grin, I remember
my favorite Greek restaurant opens
in the morning.
Poem Details | by
Wolf, Gershon |
Categories:
change, humor, money,
A spot on my shirt-cuff
a stain on a bathmat
In the back closet, a pile of stuff
a litter trail leads to the house cat
A chip in the mirror in the hall
a slight imperfection in the paint on the wall
Occasional drip from the bathroom faucet
Smoke alarm inoperable, ought to toss it
This is where the poet moralizes
sensing how quickly former standards slip …
Ha! Fooled ya! I now embrace compromise
Thanks for reading, pal ~
don’t forget my 25% tip
Poem Details | by
Elliott, Regina |
Categories:
6th grade, 7th grade, dog, funny, humorous,
Born beautiful, bacon breath,
Beau, besides being boisterous,
basketcase boggles,
batty behavior,
bounds beyond boundaries,
brazen barking bravado,
bane of UPS drivers bringing boxes,
bowling bewildered brother canine bedfellows,
befriending beagles,
basking beside bashful basset hounds,
belabors begging beef at table,
bedazzled by butterflies,
bobblehead bouncy Beau,
basically befuddled,
becalmed by bedtime biscuit,
beloved baffling beastie!
Poem Details | by
Crandall, David |
Categories:
friendship, humor, memory,
Friend
Comforting familiarity
Lasting a lifetime
Yet even lifetimes end
Memories
Memories
Laughing uncontrollably
We should not
That makes it funnier
Hilarity
Poem Details | by
Mckeithan, Oliver |
Categories:
humor,
pregnant pause
nine months later the idea
was delivered
Poem Details | by
Andresen, Anne-Lise |
Categories:
heaven, history, humorous,
the Vallhall journey
drunken orgies - fight and death
mead - milked from a goat
Poem Details | by
Healey, Jim |
Categories:
food, humor,
I've just realized
cottage cheese
is not cheese.
I'm surprised!
I shouldn't be shocked
but, you see,
it's really just
a curd to me!
Poem Details | by
Ellison, Jack |
Categories:
funny,
When I look in the mirror each morning
This dude stands there sending me a warning
Smarten up there dude
Stop acting like a boob
Or a lump on the head you'll be adorning
Poem Details | by
Krutsinger, Caren |
Categories:
humor, humorous,
If you are going to murder me, please tell me first.
Explain your plan, and make it seem even worse.
Terrorize me, until I have nightmares galore.
You see I have no TV or computer; I am extremely poor.
I wait around nightly for something entertaining to do.
If you sneaked in here, you would make me feel less blue.
Bring in your blueprints and give me the story in full.
Make it exciting, you can add lots of lies and some bull.
Poem Details | by
Krutsinger, Caren |
Categories:
humor, humorous,
With resolve in my soul
I went after the resilient whisker
On the left side of my old chin
He has been removed three times
But he is back, to torment me.
I could not believe he was here again already.
I think t plucked him last Tuesday.
This whisker’s visits are more frequent.
Each time he arrives bigger and bolder.
He was three inches long last week.
Today he lands on my chest, about eight inches long.
How did I not notice him until now?
I look for my tweezers.
I need the giant ones.
He is as thick as a boat’s tow rope.
They did not work, so I tried scissors.
Then I ran to get my butcher knife.
Hmmmm
Where is my axe?
Poem Details | by
Read, John |
Categories:
humor,
Stop worrying if you have insomnia - it's not worth losing sleep over.
Poem Details | by
Wolf, Gershon |
Categories:
business, celebrity, giggle,
Pistachio and Dimaggio do not rhyme
most of the time....
Yet when nuts seek out celebrity
~ advertisers extend them charity
Poem Details | by
Lawless, John |
Categories:
humor, political,
I once worked with two carpenters
who could never agree on anything.
One would measure the length
The other would intentionally cut it wrong.
The end result was
they never accomplished anything
left their “problem” to be resolved
by those who replaced them.
Poem Details | by
Crandall, David |
Categories:
christmas, humor, irony,
If it isn't my old friend Ebenezer,
why you ugly grizzled geezer!
Have some tea (or soup) of barley,
This is your pal, Jacob Marley.
You needn't be so ghostly white.
There is no reason for your fright.
You've been reading evil books.
That explains your worried looks.
You won't hear rattling chains or moans.
Your business practices, I condone.
Money's good everywhere, even heaven's gate.
You don't need to fear your fate.
Poem Details | by
Mckeithan, Oliver |
Categories:
humor,
I can't get no satisfaction
I can't get no satisfaction
'Cause I try and I try and I try and I try
I can't get no, I can't get no
I Can’t Get No Satisfaction/written by Mick Jagger/Keith Richards
there is an old man named Mick
who uses music as his shtick
when he tries to get some action
he seems to get no satisfaction
even though he thinks he’s pretty slick
Poem Details | by
Krutsinger, Caren |
Categories:
10th grade, 11th grade, 12th grade, 8th grade, 9th grade, humor,
My salt and pepper shakers were risqué
Shaking their booties night and day
I told my husband to put them away
It was his mother who thought they were gay
I brought my boss home for dinner last Tuesday
Those nasty shakers were dirty dancing away
I said to my husband please take them to Kay
That is his mother, who thought they were gay.
Poem Details | by
Freie, Randy |
Categories:
humorous,
Oh what a sight when a star twinkles
And ice cream all covered in sprinkles
But life becomes clearer
Right there in the mirror
Where all I can see are my wrinkles
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